Half of a man
by Demi.T. Greca
Summary: It was meant to be a walk through the park; she never expected to save a homeless guy from a gang attack neither did she expect the said guy to be a familiar face. Now Complete!
1. Homeless

**Hi! I'm so excited to be back with a Loki/Natasha story. I'd be wanting to do it for ages but school just consumed all of my time. School is over and so here I am. It is my first take at the Avengers movie and those two but I am really excited. **

**I am already thinking of splitting it into two stories.**

**I would like to say..." give your loyalty to me... and I will give you what you need"... but i do not own Loki or Tom Hiddleston or Natasha Romanoff neither the rest of the avengers.**

**So here's the first chapter. There are many more to come. I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think.**

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Half of a man

Chapter One

Homeless

The last of the raindrops fell upon the window as she opened it to make her escape into the night. It had been one of the easiest missions ever, a game really if not anything. All she had to do was dress into a low cut dress, enter the reception and steal a list. Taking a lollipop from a child never seemed harder before.

She walked the streets for a while reaching the agency's van to hand down the token.

"Easier than a walk, agent Romanoff?" they asked her and she smirked. She changed into a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a jacket so she would not draw attention when exiting the van a few minutes afterwards. Normally they would go to the headquarters but she declared the mission not worthy losing her sleep and demanded to be dropped near her apartment. After a small argument with Fury her wish was granted.

They dropped her off at Central park, her apartment being a good half an hour by foot. She sighed and started walking through the park. The smell of the damp earth and wet trees overwhelmed her. It was a good change, this air of freshness, in a city that lived in the fumes. She walked slowly, like making a joy trip in the park never but she never let her guard down. As wonderful as it may be, the Central Park hid many dangers at night.

It didn't take her long to detect a rather vicious group of voices cursing and screaming. Her instinct kicked in and she followed the sounds to identify the problem. She leaned over a bush carefully looking at the horrific sight. There were five men, well build, kicking and beating a poor man.

"Ain't so tough now, are ya, princess?" one of them said kicking the poor man's stomach. With a nod the rest of the gang took out their knives and got ready. He bent down and whispered something at his victim's ear. Natasha couldn't listen but she had had enough.

They never saw it coming; she was a shadow. A well taught super skilled shadow that knocked them down in a matter of seconds. She disposed their unconscious bodies and returned for the poor man they had tortured. The lights were dim and barely enough to make out his skinny form rapped in rags.

A homeless man.

Her anger took the better of her. Oh, how brutal, how manly they must have felt beating up a weak, homeless man. She kneeled next to him to check him out further. To her surprise he was still somewhat conscious, breathing rapidly, his eyes shut tightly. She got her sleeve up to reveal her bracelet, a small gift from goofy Stark. She pushed a button and a small light came out of it.

She gasped.

Her eyes went wider than it was possible.

His hair were long past his shoulders, his face scarred, dirty, hidden behind a thick bear but it was him none the less.

"Loki?" she said before she could hold it.

He stirred in her voice and his eyes went wide open with an emotion she would never picture in them.

Fear

Confusion

She thought she saw a hint of recognition but it turned to shame as fast as it came.

He closed his eyes again and let his head fall along with a sigh; his breath barely audible at all.


	2. Blank sheet

Half of a man

Chapter two

Blank sheet

A delicious smell filled his nostrils as he was slowly waking up. His head was pounding as if he had been hit with a hammer; the rest of his body felt no different. He tried to recognize the smell before opening his eyes to the cruel reality. It was sweet and somewhat spicy. As the rest of his senses came to life he noted that the temperature was pleasant which was strange for the middle of the winter. He could hear no people talking or cars passing by; no dogs were barking. His clothes were not wet despite the night's heavy rain and he could tell he was lying on something really soft.

Had he died and went to heaven?

Had they finally succeeded in terminating his miserable life?

"Aou!" he heard someone yell and his eyes finally bolted open.

There was no pain in heaven, so where was he?

His eyes scanned the room around him. There was a fireplace on his right, a hallway further in and a door. The rest of the room was hidden by the back of the couch in which he was currently laid down. He made an effort to sit up discarding the spinning of his head. What had happened and how had he found himself there? Wherever there was

Suddenly he heard footsteps approaching from behind and before he knew it he was confronted with a woman.

"Oh, good, you're awake!" she said half smiling. She was small, red head, pretty sweet face, wearing grey sweatpants and a black top. He didn't know her but he felt like they had met before.

"How do you feel?" she asked him.

The man looked at her confused and looked at his shoes trying to find the right answer.

"I am a bit dizzy and weak but nothing strange there." He said and glanced at her to catch her expression. It was a surprise like everything else. Normally people would look at him with pity or fear, disgust maybe but her face was blank, completely blank. He didn't know if it was a good thing for a stranger.

"I've made some chicken soup; it will help you get your strength back. In the meanwhile you may want to take a shower. It's down the hall." She said and turned to leave but his sudden decision to stand up alerted her and caught him before he fell.

"Are you alright?" she asked him again with a little more concern in her voice. The man shoved her away and stood up in all his height. His icy blue eyes pierced into her green ones; it was like a deja vu.

"Who are you?" he asked her in a suspicious tone.

"I'm Natalie." She said with no second thought. Everything had been arranged, there was no one better for this job than her. He will never know he lost a day of his life drugged in S.H.I.E.L.D 's infirmary and that he was under captivity.

"No Natalie would be able to send away Jerry Lee and his gang." He said stating that she couldn't fool him.

"Who said I send them away? I found you unconscious and called an ambulance. The hospitals were full due to a car accident and you ended up with me." She said trying to look as innocent as she could. The cover was good; a car accident had indeed happened and made their task easier. Everything was up to him now; he had to believe it.

"You mean you saw a beaten homeless guy rapped in rags in the middle of Central Park and the first thing that came to your mind was to take him to your apartment and treat him like an old friend?" he asked her, his question making her feel uneasy. She searched his eyes and body for an answer.

Was he mocking her?

Did she really have a homeless guy in her apartment or was it just another game of his?

He laughed; it was short but his eyes had that familiar sparkle.

"And you expect me to believe it?" he added and laughed again before cough took the best of him.

She remained silent, with a look of confusion and hurt on her face but inside her head the gears were rolling. She had to think something or else she would lose him.

"Is it so hard to believe that I may be a good person that cares about people?" she told him in utter shock and offense. She walked to the door and opened it.

"Here, if you really think that my purpose is any other than helping you; go away, leave, go back to the park and the boys that love you so much." She said and she saw his face steeling in fear. Maybe she had taken it a bit far; she really didn't know what had happened to him.

_Not that he doesn't deserve it. _

He took a few unsteady steps towards her. His head was still heavy from the fight. His hand went for the handle but he reached the wood instead.

"Has no one ever cared for you?" she asked him, her voice small as a whisper. She couldn't lose him.

He bent his head and held his eyes closed tight. His grip on the door became strong.

"Once, there was an old woman, she… she took me in but… she died a long time ago." He said and let the door close slowly. Silently he turned around to the direction of the bathroom and started walking.

"What is your name?" she asked him curious to hear his answer.

"I don't know." He said with complete honesty in his voice and got lost behind the door.

Natasha sighed and returned to the kitchen. Should he be saying the truth she may hate herself for what she's doing; or rather what she was going to do.

Create a fake life for him, again; betray him for the second time.

She had not an inch of sympathy for the God of Mischief and paranoia; mind her he probably deserved everything that has happened to him but… she just didn't like it.

When she saw him, lying on the ground all beaten up, she knew something was wrong. Why would a God with an ego big enough to create a bridge between Asgard and Earth, who destroyed half of Manhattan in a single afternoon, be lying helpless rapped in rags looking like he hadn't eaten or showered in days?

When she called Fury he became more than concerned. Thor had not contacted them ever since he had left. They could only hope that Odin had done his job and punish his son. Six years later Loki is found in Central park, unconscious. No one knew what had happened to him; probably not even Loki himself.

They had drugged him and taken him to S.H.I.E.L.D. The tests had not been good; he had had an internal bleeding, one broken rib, his body had been on the verge of starvation and his head… had a scar the size of Manhattan. The doctor had said he had probably been attacked in the past, taking that he had been living on the streets and back then he hadn't been so lucky as to have Natasha to protect him.

Amnesia had been one of his assumptions.

They had kept him for 24 hours before taking him to Natasha's apartment. The orders were plain simple. Find out as much as you can and make sure he stays away from trouble.

It had sounded easy last night, nothing she hadn't done before, but telling him the first lie stung.

He wasn't Loki anymore; he was just a man with no past, no memory, nothing.

She sighed and tasted some soup. It was good. The doctor had said that he needed something light or else he might get a stomach bleeding.

What an irony! Cooking and caring for her biggest enemy.

His words still echoed in her ears.

_We are the same._

Never! Never!

She heard steps and turned around to see Loki standing a few feet behind her. Her eyes went wide in shock. He was really thin, the clothes she had given him hanging off his shoulders. His face was paler than normal and a pair of hollow cheeks stood in the place of his black beard.

"If you are so kind would you mind to cut my hair?" he asked her. She nodded silently and followed him to the bathroom. His hair was really long like they hadn't been cut in months.

How long had he been living in the park?

"So, you don't have a name." she said as she cut off his black curls.

"I do but it's not mine." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"They have given it to me because I had no name. I didn't remember it." he answered. "It must have been over a year ago; I woke up in a hospitable and I remembered nothing. They told me someone had attacked me and shot me on the head. I was lucky I survived." He explained.

"So they just gave you a name to call you?"

"Yes, I have papers too, they named me, Thomas Kent." He said and she smiled.

"But everybody calls me Trickster." It's only appropriate.

"Why is that?" she asked innocently. He smiled; she knew he did because his whole face was drawn back.

"Because I am one; I believe I always was even if I can't remember it." he said with a twinge of sadness in his voice. Natasha didn't answer but focused on her task instead.

"What about you, Natalie?" he asked her dragging the last word like he knew it was wrong.

"What about me?" she asked.

"You are not married… or anything of that status." He noted in a neutral tone. He was trying to identify her territory. She had to congratulate him; for a beaten man of no memory he was playing his game really well.

"No, and I'm not thinking about it any time soon. I have different goals in life." She said which was partially true.

"Helping an outcast is one of them?" He asked her and she smirked.

"Don't flatter your self but I am a really sensitive person." She said and could hear the Devil himself die from laughter. "I always take in lost kittens and puppies, you are my first man." She said and felt him smirk.

Ok, maybe he hadn't lost his memory completely. Maybe he was playing with her.

But if he did, he wouldn't reveal himself so easily, except if he knew she would think something like that… he knew her well….

Oh! Focus!

"I work at the Stark Industries." She suddenly said going back in plan.

"That big, ugly, think towering over New York?" he said and she smiled at the thought of how Tony would react at a statement such as that.

"What do you do?" he asked her.

"Normally I am CTO's P.A but right now I am babysitting the CEO." She said and it was the only truth she had told him so far.

Millie Stark decided to rebel against her father and had left Miami to re- locate in New York. Of course all of that had a greater reason Stark was blissfully unaware of. His first born was working on an undercover program for the agency. Her guilds for what had happened in Africa almost two years ago helped her decision. Her job was to keep an eye on her and help her through with the project.

"I've seen her, on a magazine." He said and his voice was low. That was a good thing.

"You read magazines?"

"I use them for covers but that one I read. I liked her." He said and she froze in shock.

Did just Loki, the God 'I only love myself and you must kneel before me' said he liked another human being, a mortal?

No, Natasha, Thomas the Trickster said that, you shouldn't forget that.

"Well, maybe, if you're good I'll take you to meet her. She is really good, indeed." She said and he didn't comment.

She ruffled his hair a bit and looked around at the mess of her bathroom.

"Ok, we're done but after lunch you clean up this mess." She said and he got up to look around.

She was surprised to say the least. He looked so young albeit his state, and so innocent, as he looked around. His big green eyes scanning the room and falling on her; He crooked a smile shrugging his shoulders and left.

So…

_He is the God of lies and Mischief, they call him the Trickster and you are Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. You cannot fall for his trick, you have outsmarted him._

She reminded her self before following him to the kitchen.

* * *

**For all of you who haven't read my Iron man stories and don't have the foggiest idea who Millie Stark is ... just stick to the fact that she is Tony's oldest daughter (not Pepper's) and that you will get to know her story in the chapters to come. **

**I will add any details necessary for the story so you won't have to read _the notso simple life of Anthony Stark _and _Life is but a dream._**

**Unless you want to off course!**


	3. Do the job

**Writer's note: OK for those who don't know about Millie Stark I just want to say that I introduced her in "The not so simple life of Anthony Stark". She is Tony's daughter from an one night stand when he was eighteen and he hadn't known about her. After Tony and Pepper got married and had three children she became CEO. Riley Rogers is her personal assistant. **

**More details about her will be in the next chapter.**

**I do not own the avengers but Millie Stark and Riley Rogers are all mine!**

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Half of a man

Chapter 3

Do the job

She walked in SHIELD's headquarters holding tight on her bag. The guard greeted her as she passed him. She had her back on one hand and her briefcase on the other, a black pair of glasses on her nose. Her steps were steady and fast as she headed towards Fury's office. She had to report.

Her steps became even faster as the morning incident came back to her.

_She had woken up really early; her nightmares never letting her sleep. She walked to the kitchen and saw him sleeping on the couch soundly, like he hadn't a care in the world. She drank a few shots, Russian vodka had always been her remedy, and stood over him. Her eyes, trained to see in the dark, found the scars on his body. He had taken off his shirt so his upper body had been totally exposed. She sat on the coffee table next to him, wondering how he had gained them. _

_Had it been on Earth or maybe during his punishment on Asgard?_

_She found herself tempted to touch them, trace them with her hand Maybe she could figure out what had happened to him. She extended her hand and let it hover over him hesitating for a moment. _

"_Don't you dare touch me you mewling quim!" His voice had come so suddenly that she jumped from her seat. His eyes were open but totally blank, emerald green shining in the dark. His grip on her hand was strong. They stayed that way for a few seconds before Natasha realized he had only been dreaming._

It had been just a dream but it had scared her off to bits. What if he remembered while he was with her? He would have the upper hand. Even at this state he was still a trickster.

She knocked on Fury's door and walked in without permission. SHIELD's director was sitting behind his desk waiting for her.

"I see our cover story has been put into action already, Agent Romanoff." He said seeing her in business attire.

"I do have two assignments, sir, both of which demand me to be formal." She said and sat at the chair in front of the desk crossing her legs; ever at the role of Natalie Rushman.

"Tell me about our little guest." He said.

"He woke up yesterday, didn't quite believe the story I told him but he seems contemned for now. He told me he got shot on the head over a year ago and remembers nothing of his life before. They have given him a name, Thomas Kent, but he is known as the Trickster." She said seeing Fury's eyebrow arching.

"How suiting." He commented.

"He also told me that there had been a woman, an old lady, who had taken him off the street once, she died and he got homeless again." She added.

"Did he say anything else about her?" Fury asked.

"No, sir, nothing." She said and Fury noted it down.

"How about you, agent, what do you think?" he asked her piercing her with his eye.

Natasha looked at him. She knew what he was asking her.

Was Loki really a mortal, had he lost his memory for real or was he feigning it?

Honestly, she didn't know.

"I… I think he's telling the truth. He really remembers nothing about his past life but that doesn't mean those memories are not in his head. We had an incident this morning, he grabbed my wrist, cursed me, threatened me as he had done in the past but… his eyes were blank, he had been sleeping. Honestly, sir I cannot be sure, just yet." She said. It was as honest as she could ever be.

Fury looked at her skeptically.

"A devilish demigod or a poor homeless man?" he wondered.

"Ok, we are proceeding as planed. We need to keep an eye on him for a thousand and one reasons, demigod or mortal. Make sure to gain his trust and watch his every move. If he's planning something we need to know it before he even thinks about it and if he's really mortal and doesn't remember who he is, we need to make sure no one ever finds out he's here." He said.

"What if he remembers?" Natasha asked.

"Then… we should make him our ally." He said making her angry.

The man who had killed Coulson, their ally?

"I know what you are thinking, Agent Romanoff, but the truth is he would be a very strong ally." He said. She nodded; he was right. She may not like it but it wasn't how the job got done. They had the best, the smartest, the strongest… the wittiest and Loki would indeed be an incredible add.

"Let's pass to Miss Stark…" Fury said.

"About that sir, I have a proposal to make…" she said smiling devilish.

* * *

"Good Morning, Miss Rushman." The familiar voice of the butler greeted her.

"Good Morning, Alfred." Natasha greeted the A.I with the name Millie had given to him. She was very relieved when the young CEO had overwritten all of her father's programs. It wouldn't be good for anyone if Tony had eyes and ears in the tower.

"Miss Stark is currently on a meeting with Mr. Rogers, she will be with you in a few moments." The computer said.

"Riley is here?" she asked surprised. Millie had left him back in Miami with strict orders to remain there, why was he here? That wasn't good for the project.

"Yes, Mr. Rogers arrived yesterday night at precisely nine o'clock in the evening and he will be leaving today afternoon at five." Alfred said.

She sighed and walked towards Tony's bar. For a changed man he had one hell of a bar in his tower. She purred some vodka and sat at the couch.

Thor was out of reach so they didn't know what had happened to Loki.

Riley was with Millie, probably sent by Tony to spy on her.

The project was stuck due to the young Stark's boredom and she was ready to make the biggest mistake in her life.

Meet Loki to Millie.

She could only imagine Tony's face, Millie's reaction if she ever find out about him, the outcome if Loki was playing with them or… just the two of them playing with all those 'toys' Millie kept in the tower.

Frightening in every aspect and yet so necessary.

"Natalie!" Millie called from the hallway with her arms wide open like welcoming someone she hadn't seen in years.

"Miss Stark" Natasha said as formal as Millie allowed it. She could see Riley following her sharp. He had changed a lot since the last time she had seen him. His hair longer, his face ever troubled with a few more lines but most of all tired.

"Drop the formalities, Riley is a friend… and on his way." The young CEO said glancing at her assistant.

"We still have a lot to discuss and there's a job to be done." Riley said his voice barely audible.

"Railhead, you've been around the world and as much as I appreciate your devotion to the company, your job and concern about me, you need to sleep, buddy. Go downstairs, rest, and we'll talk over at lunch." She told him and forced him into the elevator. She waited until Alfred told her Riley had indeed entered his room and then she turned to Natasha with a smirk of mischief.

"Tony had him in my apartment the last three days keeping him awake so he would look like hell when he came here. He send him to spy on me; I was waiting something more… expressive from him." She said and signaled Natasha to follow her.

"Like flying through the walls?" she said and the girl smiled.

"Yeah, that would be more like him." She said as she punctured the code and they entered the lab.

"When is Dr. Banner coming from his vacation? I'm really bored." The girl said switching on every monitor in the room with a flinch of her wrist.

"You sound just like your father." Natasha said approaching a hologram to inspect it. Millie snorted and sat on a stool.

"I've been hearing that a lot and I think it's time I start to worry." She said handing her a file. "Last night's tests… worse than the previous… I think I've reached an impasse." She said sighing.

Natasha read the papers carefully.

"I don't like it… we're making a weapon, I don't like it." She said moving her hands in the air. The spy watched her for a few moments.

It really surprised her how much Mildred acted like Tony. For a girl who spent so many years away from him she seemed to fit perfectly as Tony Stark's daughter; like she had never lived in an orphanage, never being treated as inferior, like she had always been Mildred Stark.

However, Natasha knew different. She knew every detail behind Millie's life and how she had been used even before she had been born.

Betrayed by everyone and yet… so pure. She had her issues but she wasn't like her or like Loki.

How was it that people acted differently under the same conditions?

"No one likes weapons, except maybe me but they are necessary." Natasha said dropping the file.

"There's something coming, right? I'm not going to ask because you're not going to tell me but… there is and you're afraid of it. That can't be good." Millie said typing something with one hand while looking for her coffee with the other.

Natasha sighed.

She didn't like Stark any time of the day but his family… hell, he had a great family and he was even greater with them. She will never forget their quest to get them back. People like them deserved to live and be happy. They had been the only reason she had broken SHIELD's orders.

"Dr. Banner stays away from you willingly as long as you occupy the tower. He is afraid that one way or another he may put you into danger." Natasha said handing her the cup of cold coffee.

"That's a same, I haven't met Hulk." She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Exactly what he thought and took this wise decision. Besides, your father can crack him in a minute; did you really want a leak in here?" She said and Millie glanced at her. Of course, not. Millie wanted Tony as far away from her business as possible, especially when it was about SHIELD.

"Fury wants you to report tomorrow." Natasha said.

"Can't do that, I'm flying to Vancouver tomorrow." She said eyeing her monitor suspiciously.

"What! Why didn't you tell me?" Natasha yelled.

"I'm still running a company, in case you have forgotten, Nat, besides isn't Cyclops satisfied with your daily reports?" she said and smirked.

"Hi Iron head, bye Iron head." She said as Tony appeared at the screen for merely a second. Natasha looked at her curious but dismissed the incident.

"I'm supposed to watch over you, how am I going to do that when you're across the continent?" she said crossing her hands in front of her.

Millie got up walking to a different screen.

" Well, you won't. Come on, Natasha, we both know I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself, besides two SHIELD agents will be with me and… well, if something is to go wrong we wouldn't be able to do anything about it." she said and looked at her. She could see Africa written in her eyes in big flashing letters.

So much had changed since then.

"When will you be coming back?" Natasha asked her.

"The day after tomorrow; I'll be attending a meeting with Pepper. I tried really hard to convince her to stay home but I failed. We'll have dinner and after that I'm flying back." Millie said resuming her stool sliding gracefully among the monitors checking all the tests simultaneously.

"Good because there's someone I want you to meet." Natasha said getting her attention. A comment, Tony would have made, pasted through Millie's head but she decided against it.

"I'm no longer punished?" she said glancing at the screen before her.

"It's … a friend. He admires you and wants to meet you." She said giving extra thought to her every word. You were not allowed to play with the Starks; no good could ever come out of it.

"He must be a very special friend to pass the agency's rules and bring him to me." Millie said smirking.

"He's special." No one could deny that. "He's been through a lot and I just wanted to do him a favor. However if you wish your solitude…"

"No! I've had enough solitude; I even prefer hearing Logan screaming than this. I look forward to meeting that friend of yours." She said smiling genuinely at Natasha before resuming her work.

* * *

**Note: Logan is Tony's younger son not wolverine.**

**Review and a new chapter will be on before you know it!**


	4. Sleepless nights

Half of a man

Chapter 4

Sleepless nights

Natasha was used to having nightmares. Never in her life had she had a good night's sleep. She didn't sleep long anyway so she was used to waking up once or even twice a night until she would decide it was of no use to go back to bed. But tonight she wasn't alarmed by her screams but by someone else's.

It took her a minute to realize where the screams were coming from but given the fact that there were only two people in that apartment she got her gun and tiptoed to the living room. At first she thought there had been an intruder, maybe one of Loki's intergalactic friends. They shouldn't be very happy about the fiasco of their attack. When she finally reached the living room she saw Loki, alone, sleeping on the couch and struggling with the sheets. She approached slowly, the memory of their last encounter too fresh in her memory.

Was he just dreaming? Could it be a magic attack of the brain or something?

_He's playing with you_

The Black Widow spoke in her head.

"No, no, father, I'm worthy, don't … no, I didn't, it wasn't my fault, no let me be…" he was talking in his sleep. He was sweating and seemed to struggle.

"Thomas." Natasha tried to wake him up. "Thomas!" She shook him harder and the poor man jumped off the couch.

"Natalie, what happened?" he asked her, sitting up.

"You were having a night mare." She said trying to soothe him.

"Oh, sorry if I have awakened you, I should have told you, I am a bad sleeper." He said smiling slyly.

"Care to tell me?" she asked curious.

"It's the same dream since I can remember, it's really strange with no meaning." He said running a hand through his raven black hair.

"I'm hanging off a bridge, ready to fall into the void; there's someone over me, holding me. I always think he's going to save me but … he lets me fall and as I fall I see people and weird creatures all around me screaming, drowned in blood. I'm crying, I can't breathe, I feel as if I'm not my self and I'm not, I'm turning into a purple monster and then a blue giant and I'm falling …" he says his eyes wide like a child that tries to understand the mysteries of the world. Natasha watches him not altering a word. It had been four days since she had found him and nothing in that man reminded her of the maniac who had attacked New York. He was like a wicked child, full of energy, curiosity, tricks and mischief. She wouldn't be able to believe that man was capable of evil if she didn't know him. But she did and she could never oversee it. She saw his past in his melancholy moments, in his nightmares, in his fears and mistrust. She didn't know him before New York, she didn't know what exactly had happened to him when he had left Asgard or why had he left and she couldn't help but wonder.

Was this the real Loki and why had he changed? Thor could not be that idiot to still love his brother.

"Do you think it is my past that hunts me? Was I a bad person?" he asked her, his eyes two sweet green pools … so child like. He could have any world he wanted if he didn't insist on using an army.

"I think that whatever our past, we all deserve a second chance." She said green meeting blue.

"No matter what we've done, do you believe we can start over?" he asked his question startling her. IT reminded her of their talk in the cell.

"Yes, you can start over, no matter what." She said and smiled. He smiled back.

"I believe it too, thank you Natalie."

* * *

Next time it was Loki who saved Natasha from her dreams.

He woke up from his own nightmare and heard her screaming. He rushed into her bedroom frightened that something might have happened to her. He saw her struggling with the sheets, unable to break free from whatever was that frightened her.

"No, Loki, please…" he heard her beg. At the sound of the name he froze.

He knew that name, it sounded familiar, but why? Not thinking further he bent over and shook her awake.

"Natalie, wake up." He said.

"Loki…" she said opening her eyes wide open.

"No, it's me Tom." He said touching her shoulders.

She looked at him like he had fallen off a strange planet.

"Tom…" she said and extended her hand to touch him. She stopped just an inch from his face. They stayed that way for a few seconds before she looked away.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, I'm a bad sleeper too." She said.

"Not to worry, my nightmares had already awakened me. Care to tell me what it was that frightened you so?" he asked. Natasha sighed and looked away.

"It was nothing really…" she said hoping it would be enough. Of course, nothing was ever enough for him.

"Please, tell me, I want to help you as you have helped me." He said his voice deep and soothing. It was really nice to hear it, it calmed her but then again that's how the voice of a silver tongue is supposed to be, isn't it?

"Oh, Tom…" she said trying to forget that the man in front of her was the source of her bad dreams.

"I… I'm sleeping and … a friend wakes me up. He hurts me and then he screams as he realizes what he's done." She said leaving out all the nasty details of tortures, her past victims clapping and spitting on her or him… at the end….

"Loki, that's your friend?" he asked taking her aback. Had she been talking in her sleep? Well, of course she had, how else had he heard her?

"No…" she whispered silently, trying to analyze his behaviour. He took his hand away from her and let it fall nervously.

"You sounded rather scared of him…" he said, "Who is he?" he asked.

"Someone I don't want to remember." She said as neutral as she could.

"I see, you are not going to answer me. You don't do your best in making me believe you're just an ordinary woman… Natalie." He said his eyes full of question, mistrust, hurt.

"I'm not trying to convince you for anything, Tom… "She said and a minute of silence fell between them.

"I was afraid when I saw you hurting so… but most of all I was afraid because I knew that name, it sounded familiar." He said. Natasha did not reacted but kept her mind spinning.

"You've lived on the streets for a long time; you may as well have heard it before." She said but he didn't react.

"Come on now, let's go back to sleep, tomorrow it's the big day." She said smiling and he nodded.

"Goodnight, Natalie." He said as he closed the door

"Good night… Loki." She said under her breath afraid of what all this may mean.


	5. Wicked upon Wicked

Half of a man

Chapter 5

Wicked upon Wicked

Her alarm clock went off waking up both of them. She got out of the bed and tip toed to the corner taking a look at her guest. He was not sleeping; she knew her alarm clock had woken him up too. He was a very light sleeper, never really relaxing. She wondered if it was because he lived in the streets or if the devious god always kept an eye open at night. When you have blood on your hands and enemies on your back, sleep is a luxury. She should know.

He laid there, eyes closed, hands behind his head, waiting.

He did that every morning. It had become their routine actually.

She would wake up, take a look at him, then go to the bathroom, have a shower and sneak to her room to get dressed. Upon hearing her bedroom door closing, Loki got to the bathroom himself for his morning routine and exited it when she was already in the kitchen.

Today was no different except that Loki did not come out of the bathroom.

"Uhm, Tom, is everything al right?" She asked him after half an hour.

"This shirt is a bit short." He said behind the door.

"Did you grow taller since last night?" she teased him and she heard him snort.

"No, but the shirt seems to have become smaller." He answered and opened the door. Natasha stood in front of him with eyes wide open.

To say the shirt was short was an underestimate; it barely covered his shoulders letting his chest and torso uncovered. It was that sight that had her shocked.

He had been tortured. He had marks everywhere around him, scars, a few bruises she could recognize from the night she had found him. He was so thin but she could see where his muscles once were and how they were trying to rebuild them selves. Skin pale, alabaster like a sculpture; she could almost see his blue veins.

Was it true then that princes had blue blood?

She raised a hand to touch him. He was warm; she didn't know why it surprised her so much. Did she expect a man with his crimes to be as cold as his heart?

Then she should be no warmer than Siberia.

She looked up to his face. He seemed ashamed and hurt. No matter his state of mind Loki will always be too proud for his own good.

"Treats from the Streets." He finally said giving her a sad smile.

"I don't remember where I got half of them; I already had a few when I woke up." He added as she traced a scar from his shoulder to his chest that seemed old.

Her curiosity rose every day. What had happened to him? How did the God of Mischief and Lies, the would be King of Asgard, the Intruder of Earth, end up like that?

Suddenly she felt his hand upon hers and she was brought back.

She didn't even know if his amnesia was real. She knew nothing but even if she did, he was not a friend. He was a captive and she was his guard.

"We need to leave, I can't be late." She said and walked to her bedroom. That shirt had been changed, but who would do such a thing?

"It's ok, don't worry, uhm, I'll just stay here." He said with that face like a hurt puppy. She really didn't know what to think. He was driving her crazy!

"Nonsense, Tom, I've already talked to Stark about you and she's cleared her schedule for you. It might be your chance to get a job and a life." She said looking for the grey shirt that had been brought the previous day from the cleaner's.

"There it is, I hope they didn't ruin that too." She said and gave it to him.

He threw his old one down and tried the clean one satisfied it was ok.

"Pick up your jacket; we're having breakfast on our way to the tower." She said as she walked out handing him her briefcase.

They walked down the street heading to the subway. She had made her decision the moment they had exited the building. She was Natalie Rushman and he was Thomas Kent. No Loki, No super spy, no SHIELD; except maybe from the two agents following them and the dozens wandering around the Stark Tower.

"Why?" he asked her suddenly while trying to cross the street.

"Why what?" she asked him back checking her surroundings, minding the cars, the light, and everybody around her.

"Why do you take me to her?" he asked her again sounding genuinely curious.

"Because you asked me to." She answered as neutral as she could, trying to decode this new conversation.

"No, I didn't. I said I liked her, I never said I wanted you to take me to her." He said as a matter of fact and Natasha replayed their past dialog in her head. Well, he was right. Loki or Tom he was ever a pain in the ass.

"It was implied." She said getting down the stairs to the subway.

"Why did you save me?" he asked and she rolled her eyes on him.

"There we go again!" she sighed. Loki looked at her waiting for an answer. He never got one. They stayed in silence until they got on the train. Once the doors opened a human wave got in making Natasha pinned against the side of the wagon with Loki pressed against her.

"So little space for so many people." He said trying to balance himself putting both hands against the walls, trapping her between them.

Natasha looked up at him. He was so tall; she had never really thought about it except now that she was trapped. Her eyes traveled up to his face. He seemed quite unease. His eyes were half closed and his breaths quick and short.

"Are you claustrophobic?" she asked him.

"I don't know" he answered honestly.

Someone pushed him and he accidentally pinned her against the wall with his body. She shuddered at the sudden touch. She could feel his breath at her ear sending shivers down her spine. His hands resting low almost touching her hips.

Suddenly the temperature raised and she could barely breathe.

What was going on? Was it one of his tricks?

She looked up and saw him eyeing her lips. His eyes had a familiar sparkle she had seen before.

And in the blink of the eye it was gone. He took a step back and looked away as if ashamed or was it regret?

She caught her breath again and steeled her face for the next few stops.

They got off just a few hundred metres from the tower.

They walked in silence until they reached a small coffee shop.

"What would you like?" she asked him and saw his eyes gleam as he went through everything behind the glass.

"Hm… do I get anything I like?" he asked and he nodded hiding her smile.

"Then I think I'll have an orange juice… a donut… a piece of that cake over there…some cheesecake and that extra cheese, extra ham sandwich." He said liking his lips.

"Do you always eat so little?" Natasha teased him but he shrugged before answering.

"I rarely eat but nothing" he said giving her his puppy face.

He hadn't done it as much as twice so far but she had already grown weak towards it. That man was a real idiot. He could conquer the whole universe with a budding of his eyes and a pout of his lips. So easy and she was afraid she was acknowledging it.

"We'll have all that plus a black espresso." She said to the cashier.

"Aren't you eating anything?" Loki asked her.

"Of course I am, do you think I'm paying for all of these because of your pretty green eyes?" she said searching for her purse, effectively avoiding eye contact. What was wrong with her?

"They're blue." She heard a girl say. Suddenly Natasha got her head out of her bag and looked and a young girl behind them. She couldn't be over seventeen. She had long blond hair reaching her rare, lightly sunbathed skin and big brown eyes.

Loki flashed her a smile and she smiled back shyly. "Actually, they are mostly green with a tiny shade of blue." He answered.

Oh no, she wasn't going to be a witness of it.

"My name is Jenna" she said holding out her hand.

"I'm Tom." He said his whole face bright from his smile. "And this is Natalie." He added making the girl's heart sink.

Better save her now than being sorry later.

"Nice to meet you." She said thanking God their order was brought and they could leave.

They reached the tower in less than five minutes.

Tom had to admit it wasn't so ugly on the inside.

They were welcomed by a receptionist and entered the elevator that led to the penthouse. All shield agents were well hidden in order no to rise any suspicions.

They walked in an empty living room.

"Good morning, Ms. Rushman." Alfred said. Tom looked around searching for the owner of the voice.

"Thank you, Alfred. Where is Ms. Stark?" she asked the computer leaving her bag on the couch and taking a seat beside it to drink her coffee.

"She's currently in an argument with Mr. Stark via Starcom. I will inform her that you have arrived." The voice said and then silenced. Loki was still looking around dumbfounded.

"What was that?" he asked her more curious than freaked out.

"That was Alfred, Ms. Stark's TARDIS or JARVIS or Computer butler or whatever it is she calls it these days. It's a computer." Natasha said taking a sip from her coffee.

Loki raised his eyebrows and sat down next to her laying his breakfast on the coffee table. Natasha leaned in and snatched the muffin before him.

"Hey!" he said taking a very funny offended face.

"I told you, I didn't pay for all of that because of your pretty eyes, I'm taking my share." She said and took a big bite out of it.

"Do you think I have pretty eyes?" he asked her with a wicked smirk on his face.

Natasha froze for a moment. She had done it again, hadn't she? She had forgotten with who she was dealing there. Loki the God of Mischief or Thomas the trickster. It was all the same in the end, wasn't it?

"Don't flutter yourself." She said coldly and sighed upon hearing footsteps approaching.

"Hey, Nat, good morning, sorry for keeping our guest wait but I had daddy issues." She said walking in with arms spread wide open.

"You must be Tom, I'm Millie, glad to find out someone wants to meet me and not kill me…" she said making Natasha's eyes pop out. If she only knew to whom she was talking to.

"Well, I might as well do it… bore you to death." Loki said making Natasha stiffened. Ok, things had not started as it should.

"Something tells me we are going to get along, wanna come with me to the playing area?" she smirked. Natasha didn't like that, at all.

"Nat, Tony is waiting for you in the conference room." Millie said and left blathering something about experimentation.

Natasha sighed and took the stairs to the previous floor.

"What the hell is going on Romanoff?" Tony's voice reached her ears before she could close the door.

"Hello, director, I didn't know you changed your haircut, you look tremendously like Stark." She said taking a seat on the big table.

"Cut the irony, the only reason I'm not already flying there is because our nanny is in the hospital and I'm babysitting Logan." He said. He looked extremely angry.

Had he finally flipped off? Well, she wouldn't be surprised, not after their time in Paris.

"Stark, stop yelling and calm down. Millie is a big girl and she needs her space after all that has happened. I know you miss her but…"

"What the fuck is Loki doing in my tower chit chatting with my daughter?" he practically screamed. She heard a baby crying on the background and he vanished from the screen for a few moments.

How did he know about Loki?

Well, he was Tony Stark and they were in his tower. He definitely had a second safety system hidden that Mildred hadn't found. Loosing no time she texted Fury to take hold of the situation.

Stark reappeared on the screen running a hand through his hair.

"Give me a good enough reason not to drop Logan off to Riley and fly over to New York."

"Stark." Fury appeared on a different screen. Tony looked even more angered. After all that had happened in Africa Tony's bonds with Shield had gotten really loose.

"Well, if it's not Captain eye-patch." He said.

"nice to hear your humor doesn't abandon you on your worst mood." Fury said and Tony made a face.

"There'll be worse if you don't explain yourself right now." He said.

Fury sighed. He didn't like the way things were going.

"We found him four days ago, agent Romanoff saved him from a group of bullies."

"Bullies? Saved him?" Tony said confused.

"We believe he's mortal and he has lost his memory." Natasha said catching his attention.

"We are certain of it, agent Romanoff; I was going to inform you about it today. I send you both the file." Fury said. A holographic screen opened automatically with Loki's file.

He had told her the truth. It was all there, the hospital, the head injury, his John doe state. He had been in Intensive Care for over a month.

"He was taken to the hospital over a year ago with a bullet in his head. The bill was paid by a woman named Nancy Guttenberg. She said he saved her life." Tony read in utter disbelief.

Natasha remembered their first talk. He had told her about a woman…

"Nancy Guttenberg died nine months ago. She had taken Loki in but after her death he was left on the streets." Fury added.

Silence fell among the group. So it was all true. There was no Loki, he remembered nothing at all. He had no past and yet she had seen it tormenting him in his sleep.

"Still, that doesn't answer my question." Tony said.

"We can't let him loose, Stark, we don't know if his memory will return and in what state he's going to be. We need to keep an eye on him, whether or not he will ever come back. If he does, I'm making sure he's on our side." Fury said.

"And you're using my daughter for that purpose. I said nothing when she agreed on helping you with your new weapons and staff but this is beyond limits."

"Millie can make it to his soft side. Her story, your story, is not so different from Loki's of what Thor has told me. If anyone can make friends with him, it's your daughter." Fury said.

Tony gave it a thought. If anything he was one to give second chances. He had gotten one and he didn't deserve it.

"Al right, if you want to give the lunatic a second chance, so be it, but I'll be watching you close." He said and logged off.


	6. Maybe we are the same, you and I

Half of a man

Chapter 6

Maybe we are same, you and I

Tom was wondering inside the Stark Library. Natalie had left as soon as she had dropped him off to the Stark Tower and Millie had not yet left her workshop. It was the third time he visited the young billionaire in her tower. He was glad to discover that she was far better of what he had imagined. He did not stand in her beauty, besides should anyone see her passing by he would not grant her a second look. She was the definition of simplicity and he didn't even need to meet her to realize that. The photographer on the magazine had captured it smoothly. It was her story that touched him; left, abandoned, taken advantage of, a hard childhood. For some reason they were familiar to him.

Could it be his past? His life before that incident?

He didn't know and he would never know. He was trapped in his own mind.

He found several pictures sprawled around the place. He reached and grabbed one. It was a young boy, no older than six, with dark hair and eyes, smiling goofily.

"My brother, Edward." He heard her voice and turned on his heel.

"I didn't know you had a brother." He said as he put the frame back.

"It's like you're from another planet, isn't it? With the amnesia and all?" she said. He chuckled and smiled at her. It was the truth.

"Well, I do have a limited access to magazines and information." He said and looked around as Millie found a comfortable armchair and planted herself on it.

"Had… try to make use of a past tense; you are not going back to where you were." She said grabbing an old book form the self behind her.

Tom took a few minutes to observe her. It was obvious that she had just gotten out of the workshop. Her black top was smeared, her sweatpants loose and dirty and her hair pulled back in a knot. Only her hands were clean.

"You have been nothing but kind to me and I have done nothing for you." He said running his fingers across several titles.

He heard his new friend smile.

"Oh, but Tom you have. My life was so dull in New York before I met you! I, finally, have someone I can spend quality time with!" she said grinning at his smirk. Both of them remembered the prank they had pulled on Natalie the last time he had been in the Tower.

"New York." he whispered. Was he actually from New York? He had been wondering frequently.

"Why do you stay in New York? You have a family of what I understand, why are you not with them?" he asked her and she stiffened. That must have been an uncomfortable zone.

"Because I must." She said and put the book back.

"I do not understand." He said looking at her. She sighed and stood up, a small holographic screen appearing next to her. It had a picture of a family on. A woman with red hair laid her side facing the camera with one hand supporting her grinning face, a man with dark hair and a weird beard on the same position behind her looking at her face adoringly and three children balancing on his side, laughing; the boy on the frame, a girl and a young boy around the age of three.

"Aren't they lovely?" she asked him and he nodded.

"You have a beautiful family." He said.

"Haven't you noticed anything? I'm not in that lovely picture. I wouldn't fit in, I don't. I am a paraphony of shorts and a definite danger. They are better off without me." She said and returned to the armchair. Tom followed her.

"Will you tell me why?" he asked her.

"Where you a psychologist before the bullet?" she teased him.

"I don't know but I guess talking always helps. People come to the park just to talk with the wind." He told her and she smiled. It was a sad smile.

"I was not aware of my routes until I turned eighteen. So much are known. The child wonder that flew from the orphanage to the M.I.T and then jumped to the top of the world; that much is known. No one knows what I've really been through." She said and traveled.

"You're in for a big talk." She said and he shrugged.

"May as well have read a book; nothing will be more interesting than you." He said and she chuckled.

"I assure you that. My life is far from boring. I grew up in HLC, an institution for orphans. I don't have the best memories of it. I remember sleeping in a room with more than ten children, the air filled with mold and cold piercing our bodies. No fund, that's the only thing Mr. M, the director, seemed to say. Then one day came a letter from school. I must have been around ten, I am not sure. The headmaster wanted to talk with Mia, my dorm Head. Someone had seen me taking money from other children." She said and grinned at the memory. Tom cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Where you a bully?" he asked her. She seemed amused.

"Far from that my friend, my work was clean. You see, a clever mind always needs stimulation otherwise it seeks other ways of expression. I was one very clever child with a lot of imagination but no one could suspect I would repair the old train at the abandoned Fun park behind the school." She said making him laugh hard.

"Why?" he finally asked.

"Well, it was a challenge really, from my best friend at the time. She had told me I couldn't do it so I proved her wrong. The illegal and dangerous ticket selling was only a plus." She said laughing along with him.

"So what happened?" he asked her.

"Mr. M had found his new attraction. For the next the three years I was dragged to every kind of competition, seminar and of course parties. Just more money for Mr. M. a lot more misery for me; and then came college." She said deep in thought. She got up and went straight to the self Edward's picture stood. She grabbed a grey book and went back.

"That's the first book I laid hands on when I first entered M.I.T's library. Years later I found out it was that exact book it had caught my father's attention too." She said smiling. "I can't say I didn't enjoy it. They were the most wonderful five years of my life. I, did, of course had my good share of adventures. As Pepper says, it runs in the family." She said smiling.

"Who's Pepper?" he asked.

"The only woman who can put up with Tony, his wife." She said.

"Not your mother?"

"Legally, she is my mother, she has adopted me but…" her voice trailed and let her eyes steel on him. She had met neither of her mother's and if one deserved the title that was definitely Pepper.

"… yes, she's my mother." She finally said.

"What kind of adventures did you have?" he asked her, one hand supporting his head, face relaxed with the slightest of smiles on it.

"Well, I can't tell you half of them but I did once have to sleep on a bench and work in a diner." She said laughing at his expression. She had slept on a bench, out in the street much like him.

"Why?" he asked her straightening himself.

"Well, a certain someone had made good use of what little money I was granted by the Department of Education and I couldn't return to California. I had already left college to spend a few days with a friend. Friend gone to Europe – Millie left in the middle of nowhere." She said showing more emotion than she wanted.

"What about your family? When did you meet them?" he asked her.

"My father, that's the one I met first. I had seen him at the university once; he had given a lecture, drunk. Needless to say my respect was the last he could win after that, his reputation didn't help either. Mindless playboy who thinks women are toys and money is confetti." She said smiling at her father's goofy image. It was hard to imagine the billionaire brat Tony once was but his attitude towards money had not changed. In fact it was really amusing.

"Money is disposable, people are of value." She said under her breath. Tom looked at her turning serious. He thought how right it sounded. He had memory of only one person in his life and that memory he held dearly. He had felt nothing upon losing her and for that he had regret. He was thinking that maybe there was something wrong with him, something from his past.

"Tony took charge of the HLC, you see he lost his parents too in an early age and he doesn't like it when people take advantage of children. That's how I met him and I was impressed of how much he had changed. Afghanistan had changed him." She said and looked down. She thought the moment called for a drink. She got up and walked to the small office purring some wine in two glasses.

"What happened there?" Tom asked her accepting the drink.

"Not my story, if you ever meet Tony Stark maybe he'll tell you." She said and resumed her seat. Tom was lost for a moment.

Tony Stark

It sounded familiar. Of course it had to be a well known name, the man was a billionaire and a hero after all but… he felt like it had to mean something to him.

"Tony prefers scotch." Millie said tasting the wine. Suddenly an image came to his mind. A man, who looked very much like the one in the photo walking down from a mini – bar holding a glass of scotch.

"Tom, are you al right?" she asked him. The image left as suddenly as it had come. He took a sip from his wine and nodded.

"Yes, please continue." He said.

"Pepper was the one to discover our relation. I was shocked to say the least. The thought that my past was a lie and that I had suffered all those years while he was partying, because he was partying… I just lost it." she said deeper in her memories now. Everything came back slowly. The garage, how she had ran, how she had hidden herself in that old fun park and let misery and anger consume her, that night in the club, the accident.

"Did he knew about you?" he asked her and she shook her head.

"No, I was an accident." She said draining her glass and getting back to pour some more. "I was born in Toronto, my biological mother tried to find him, to sneak her way in using me but the CTO of the company send her off. I'm not sure what happened after that. She died in labor, I was adopted and four years later my family died in a fire. That's how I ended up in LCH." She said going back to where they sat. Memories of that fire still haunted her in her nightmares. They were mere flashes and screams that made no sense but she couldn't shake them off.

"Life has been harsh on you." He said looking at his glass. She had gone through so much and she had come out sane and full of compassion.

_I want to change the world and I am not afraid to say it._

It had been the title of the article. He thought how unfit it seemed that title now, at this moment as she was lying there, devastated, lost in her past. However it was a phrase she supported with all her heart.

Strength

She had such strength in her. He admired her even more now. Would he be able to be so strong if his past was ever revealed to him?

He sensed his past was dark, he just knew it.

"I did things I am not proud of and should you ever find out you would not think high of me, but I've changed. I was lost and almost dead and yet I was granted a second chance." She said and chuckled.

"Sometimes my story is so much like Tony's. I suppose one cannot get rid of his bad genes." She said and changed her expression. "But we do try and we've made a nice family. It may look peculiar and dysfunctional to most but it's working… when it's not threatened." She said and got up pacing around.

"There you have it. That's my worst fear, Thomas, that I am a threat to my family." She said and he froze. Those words struck him.

"Two years ago we almost died because of me. My father went mental, Pepper was tortured and my siblings, just babies, were tormented and mentally tortured. All because I, simply, exist." She said letting a breath escape her. Tom did not comment, he sat in silence, confused. How could she say such a thing?

"My father has done crimes he tries to redeem. Heroes always have enemies; Tony just seems to have more. One of them was Markus Summers, my biological brother. He's life not so different from mine only in a darker shade." She said and turned to face him. "A tortured child, abandoned, alone because I was born, because I came upon this world." She said and Tom could see pain in her voice.

Regret for ever existing.

"That's nonsense." He said quietly.

"Is it? His mother died because of me, he hated my father because of me and he wanted revenge. Don't you see why I must stay away from them? My father has his share of enemies I cannot attract more. They deserve a peaceful life and I can offer them that." She said.

"By staying away? How do you thing it's possible? It wasn't even your fault things happened that way!" he tried to reason her. He got up and got closer.

"Everybody knows my father's weakness and that's his family. We realized that the last time. He holds a different kind of affection for me. I'm not his favourite, no he adores each and every one of us but I'm the broken one, I'm the oldest and he doesn't try to hide It." she said and stopped seeing Tom's eyes growing wider than normal. With a smooth move she got out of his reach. She knew her new friend had realized her plan.

"You're making yourself a target?" he said not able to believe. That strong woman who was changing the world, that brilliant mind was willingly putting herself in danger to save her family.

"Do you blame me?" she said her back to him.

"No, but maybe you think how they'll feel if they lose you, if they find out they were the reason. Do you really think they'll feel nothing? That's not the picture I got." He said looking at her. She was shaking lightly, she was crying.

"I know…but I can't help it. It's in my blood." She said and smiled.

Natasha froze outside the library. She had just returned and had headed to the library to find Millie when she overhead the girl's confession to Loki.

She knew Millie had her own reasons for staying away from California but she never imagined that.

_Like father, like daughter._

She felt even filthier. It was bad enough they were using her guilt to run their project, but helping her fulfill her suicidal plan made her want to vomit.

What is it with Starks and their self – sacrifice? It just made her angry.

_She's not going to succeed under my watch._

She hated it. The kindness of this girl got in her nerves.

Stark was a jerk and she used that whenever he reached her sensitive chords.

But Millie…

For a moment she thought how much they were alike, father and daughter and yet how different the beginning of their journey.

She thought about Pepper and how much she had changed Tony, how much Millie had taken from her.

She had been the catalyst in every change. Had she not been changed by that woman too? Had she not changed her tactics after seeing her hurt in Tony's birthday party? Had she not broken the rules to help Tony find her and save her?

They were the innocents they came across everyday, the ones they affected the most.

"Miss, Ms. Rushman is coming in the library." She heard Alfred's voice say. With that she entered the library finding the duo rearranging themselves. She looked at them cocking an eyebrow. What had occurred in those mere seconds of silence?

"Ms. Stark, I need to talk to you." Natasha said and hand her an envelope.

Millie looked at it imagining what it was. She sighed heavy. Add betrayal to the mount. Tony would never agree to that.

"Not, now Nat, I'm tired. I'm going to read this, I promise, I just cannot deal with it right now." Millie said and left, leaving Tom and Natasha alone.

"What happened?" she asked him even though she could imagine from the last few lines she heard.

"She needed to talk and I listened." He said. The one who always talks listening to someone else? That was weird.

_But not so, is it? He always listens when she talks._

Suddenly she felt a twinge of jealousy but why should she? She was his guard and he was a prisoner.

"Is that all you did?" she asked him and chuckled.

"I don't know what I've done in my past life but so far I've had my share of misfortune. I wish I had an ounce of her strength." He said looking through the open door.

_So would I, _Natasha thought.

"If the day is over, I would like to go home." He said and walked away, Natasha following him sharply.


	7. Letting the truth slip

Millie walked into her workshop, more out of habit than out of need. She had got that from Tony. He had succeeded in making her his spilt image in just eight years.

Was she always like that?

To be honest she couldn't remember ever being different but that couldn't be true.

She had spent most of her life alone. There was no Tony, no Pepper and no family in her early years. She had been a woman already when she met them.

But was she ever herself? Wasn't always something missing?

How did she know she wasn't like Tony when she had not met him?

She remembered once, when she woke up from that comma, she had realized how much they had been alike, in a bad way.

However, Millie rarely got drunk and she never used alcohol to solve her problems. She had a thing with responsibility, not like Pepper or Riley but she did.

Oh, how she missed Riley. Their fights, their 'thing'.

She missed them all and for what? A stupid fear?

No, it wasn't a fear, it was a reality. She had to stay away for more reasons than one. Phase 2 was one of them. Natasha had said it; something bigger was coming. That crazy God had told her. She had to help them, had to work over those new weapons and suits, she couldn't let Earth fall.

She let a deep sigh and sank in a chair grabbing a bottle of ice tea near by. No more alcohol for the day. She could let her misery consume her but she couldn't loose control.

That wasn't Millie.

However she felt nothing like Millie right now. She was Mildred, the orphan, the outcast… she was just so miserable.

"Millie? What's going on? What happen to you? What did he do to you?" Tony's voice came out of nowhere startling her.

"Not now, Tony, I'm not in the mood." She said and punctured a few buttons on the table to shut him off.

"Can't shut me off my own Lab, hugster." He said re- appearing in a new position. Millie growled and threw her bottle at the screen.

"Ok, just tell me what that bastard did to you and I'll be there before you can turn me off again." He said dead serious.

"There's no bastard, Tony, my last boyfriend took a plane to India when you threatened him with a repulsor." She said.

"I'm talking about that maniac Romanoff brought back in my place. Did he harm you or said anything to you that made you feel like crap?" he asked her. Millie looked at him confused trying to make her mind work despite her misery.

"That's it, I'm off to New York." he said.

"No! Stop! I have no idea whom you are talking about." She said and sat straight.

"Tall stick with black hair, smiles like the devil and thinks himself to be king?" he said but Millie just arched her eyebrow. She could picture a man like that but he was definitely no king.

"Have you been drinking lately?" she asked him and he disappeared leaving an image of a familiar face on screen.

His hair was longer and his smile maniac but it was him.

Tom

"That's Tom, Nat's friend." She said.

"A part of the truth that is not actually truth." He said and sighed.

"He's Loki." He said and her eyes were wide open.

Was that the man that threw her father out of the window, which almost got him dead? The man that destroyed Manhattan in an afternoon and killed so many people?

Was that the same man she had come to like and laugh with? To whom she had just spill her soul?

"Are… you sure?" she asked him.

"I'm sorry pumpkin' I know you were having a good time these last few days but… I think it's time you find the truth." He said not very pleased with himself. He had seen them those last few days.

"What is he doing here? Why did Nat bring him to me?" she asked him trying to suppress her growing anger.

"I don't know exactly what has happened. All I know is Natasha found him in Central Park saved him from a bunch of punks. They told me he's lost his memory and he's powerless. I've got a file but perhaps you should ask your bodyguard/assistant/agent/spy/former assassin to tell you." Tony said. Millie had gotten up and was writing something on a hologram.

"Thanks for making my life a little bit less cheerful, Tony." She said and with a hit he was off. "And I can shut you off your Lab." She said and walked to Tony's cabinet. Maybe she could use one more glass.


	8. Gone Shopping

Half of a man

Chapter 8

Gone Shopping

Natasha grabbed her keys and tapped her foot impatiently waiting for Tom to get ready. That man didn't know the meaning of being on time.

"Come on, Tom!" she yelled from the living room.

"I don't like this." He answered.

"Tom, that's the last piece of clothing that fits you, if you don't get out of there we won't be able to buy you new clothes." She said and rolled her eyes in relief as the door of the bathroom cracked open. Tom hesitated at first but with a deep breath he stepped out in the corridor. He was dressed in his old, abused jeans and an old red shirt Millie had gave him.

"Red is not my colour." He said looking irritated. Natasha chuckled and wondered if it was a subconscious hatred for the colour of his brother.

"And I don't like men acting as babies. Come on." She said and walked out, purse in hand waiting for Tom to follow her.

Today she had the day off. Millie had requested all agents to leave the tower. Not that such a request would be granted but she had asked especially for Natasha not to go there today. If she had a heart, Natasha would be hurt but she wasn't cause her heart was long lost.

Or so she liked to believe.

However she had gotten a message from Alfred that morning that Millie had loaded her bank account with a bunch of money for Tom to buy clothes and whatever was he needed.

Natasha felt bad, really bad. The girl seemed to like him too much and vice versa. If only they knew the truth. She would be so hurt and, judging by Tom's behaviour he would be too.

They had entered a very dangerous game. She had known that from the start but now she was starting to have doubts.

Was it worth it?

Oh, listen to yourself, Tasha, so much for the ice heart you claim to have, super spy. What happened, have you come to worry about the Starks?

Ok, that was old news.

How about Tom? Have you warmed up to him? You don't even call him by his name anymore…

But that's his name…

"Natalie, are you ok?" Tom asked her as they walked down the street.

"Yes, I was just thinking." She said and smiled but he wasn't convinced.

Damn, he was like a lie detector.

She was always wondering, how much of the God of Mischief was left in him.

Her answers came at night, in her nightmares, with his screams.

They were both so broken.

"Shall we get in here?" Tom said and she nodded following her. He looked around eager to get rid of those hideous clothes. A saleswoman came in their help.

"What would you like?" she asked.

"Green" he answered making her laugh and they got lost among the various corridors.

Natasha sat outside the fitting rooms and thought about the Last time she had seen the God of Mischief. It had been just before his transfer to Asgard.

_She was in her room getting ready for the last part of this parody. They would send the Asgardians back home and they would be left to deal with the aftermath of the battle._

"_The suit does not compliment you enough." His voice had reached her ears like a breeze that made her froze for a second. She turned around raising her hand to her ear. It was a good thing she was always alarmed._

"_Don't try; you'll only make a fool of yourself. I'm still in my cage." He said smirking hideously._

"_Is this one of your tricks?" she asked, voice completely neutral and back straight, eyes never blinking._

_The God of Lies chuckled and walked to the chair next to her bed were her shirt laid. She was still in her bra._

"_Red is not my colour but for you I make an exception." He said handing her the piece of clothing. Natasha took it and put it on showing no disturbance. _

"_How can you be here if you're in your cell?" she asked him buttoning the shirt._

"_Magic, my dear spider, magic; It's called astral projection." He said smirking down at her._

_Natasha snorted. "Why don't you use your projection to get out of here?" she asked and he shook his head disappointed. _

"_I thought a woman like you could read me better." He whispered. _

_She locked her arms in front of her and looked at him. She could play that game. There was a reason he had come to her._

"_You don't want to leave, you want to go back to Asgard." She said and he smirked._

"_There is not another person on this little planet that can understand me better, Ms. Romanoff, than you. We are the same you and I." he said and even though her body stood stoically in front of him, her eyes threw daggers. _

"_I'm nothing like you." She said calmly but Loki was no fool. He was a manipulator as much as her. _

_He chuckled and walked around, his hands dancing in the air as he spoke like he was some kind of artist._

"_Is it not you and your people that call me a murderer, a cold blood killer, a maniac? Am I not accused for being sadistic, self centered, caring only for my self? That I seek power and ultimate control? Are you not all these things as well?" he asked smiling as if he was talking about the best things in life._

"_I used to be…" she said. She was in control._

"_Do you think you've changed so much?" he asked her daring her to answer but she just looked at him. He smiled; but it wasn't a triumphant smile, it was a sad realization._

"_Can you change when you've been betrayed and used by everyone?" he said turning his back on her. _

"_Why are you here?" she asked him._

"_I wanted you to know… we are the same… and it will haunt you for ever." He said smirking._

"_Why do you want to go back?" she asked him. His face was suddenly drained by colour and his eyes went wide with fear. It only lasted a moment but she had seen it. His smirked returned fast and he laughed._

"_Whatever punishment Odin may have for me it would be nothing towards the sufferings that await me for my failure." He said and then smiled sadistically. He walked slowly towards her, towering over her, meant to scare her. His voice was low._

"_He will come for me but he won't find me under Odin's cloak. He'll take this pathetic land first; he'll destroy everything in his path because that's what he does. He's powerful, unlimited and far worse than me. He's coming and you won't be able to stop him." He said and disappeared. _

"That's more like it." she heard his voice and saw him emerging from the fitting room dressed in a dark green shirt and black jeans. He looked so different from that last memory. Not just physically but in everything. He was… kind.

But that was Tom, the man that had lost his past.

"Happy with the colour?" she teased him as the girl brought a bunch of T-shirts and sweaters.

They left the shop with five bags, each. Now, he couldn't complain about his clothes. They had bought everything from casual to formal, sports even underwear and night clothes.

"A bookstore! Come in!" He said and disappeared before she knew it. She got in the shop as well but he was nowhere to be seen. She took a look around scanning the place. It was a store with old books. It smelled of leather and ink. A few new publishes were on the front shelf.

"He's on the back." An old man said. He had a thick accent, bright white hair and a pair of glasses hanging from his nose.

"Excuse me?" Natasha said.

"The tall man that ran into my shop; he's in the back." He said and buried his nose in his book. Natasha thanked him and walked among the bookcases looking for Tom.

He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, lost among towers of books, holding a huge book on his lap. He looked lost within the pages. His long fingers traced the words like caressing the most delicate thing in the world and he flipped the pages with such grace.

Suddenly an image flashed in her mind. Loki, in his Asgardian attire, sitting behind a desk in a dark room with green, heavy curtains and carpets, lost among towers and towers of books.

Could that be an image of the old Loki? The man Thor so strongly believed in?

"Natalie, looked what I found." He said realizing she was there. "It's a book with every battle fought by man kind." He said grinning widely like a child.

"Really? I guess that's why it's huge." She said smiling back.

"It is isn't it? And it has the best smell ever. Look at these too! History, physics, biology, art, theatre, music! All these fascinating things about the world! Now I can become a person again, I can fill in some gaps." He said grinning and got his nose back in the book.

What had gone wrong? How can a maniac become a passionate student of the world, a man of Spirit and Science?

Or maybe how can a man like that become a maniac?

Why did she have that strong feeling that this was the real Loki? He couldn't be that innocent.

Smiling sadly she walked back to the front.

"Do you have any books in Norwegian Mythology?" she asked him. The man nodded and brought her a small, leather, book.

"Natalie, can I buy these? Are the money enough?" Tom came out of nowhere with a pile that got up to his nose. The owner looked at him surprised but he was grinning.

"Millie gave us more than enough." She answered and presented the credit card. She held the small book tight in her chest. He couldn't see it, she couldn't risk it.

"How are we going to carry all that?" Natasha said frustrated.

"I can carry the books." Tom said.

"But I can't carry all of your clothes and shoes!" Natasha said taking out her cell phone. She hated depending on others.

"James, could you come and pick us up?" She asked Millie's driver. She wasn't very fond of him but he could come useful at this situation.

"_Hold on a sec, I need to ask Ms. Stark." _He said and she rolled her eyes.

"_Where are you?" _

By the time they got home it was past lunch time and they were both very hungry. James helped them get the things up to the apartment and left. The first thing Tom did was to get rid of the old clothes he wore. He grabbed a shopping bag and got lost in the bathroom.

"Tom, we should wash it first." Natasha said half laughing.

"I have been in worst clothes." He answered and got out with a huge grin in his face. He had put on a pair of black slacks and a green T- shirt.

"I would agree to that." Natasha said half smiling and walked away towards the kitchen.

She opened the fridge and the cabinets trying to find something to cook. She wasn't much of a cook but she knew one thing or two. Tom sat at the table getting one of his books to read.

"Will you not help me?" she said teasing him.

"Oh, I thought you were doing fine by yourself looking around the cabinets." He said innocently before putting the book aside. He got up and reached for a box on the top shelf.

"Spaghetti." He said.

"Again?"

"Do you want me to go and buy something else, because other than that we seem to have nothing." He said and she froze.

We

She had never thought of that. When had they become "we"?

They had been living in the same house for almost two weeks. Did that gave him the right to address them as one? What were they?

Guard and prisoner

Why didn't she feel like it? Why was everything so relaxed and peaceful and …right?

"No, I'll go. You sit down and read your books." She said confused and before she knew it she was out the door.

She walked down the street to a small grocery store.

"Natalie wait!" she heard him yell and turned around to see him running towards her.

"No reading?" she asked.

"Hehehe, you are one small manipulator…" he said and she hid her surprise.

Where did that come from? All she wanted was to get away for a moment. Had he felt bad?

They walked to the grocery shop and greeted the owner.

"Ok, we are going to need some calf meat, onions, flour and eggs." She said looking around.

"Does the grocery shop have meat?" he asked.

"It's actually an all-market place. He just keeps the sign outside." She said reaching for the flour.

"You seem to have something very specific in your mind." He said looking around for anything else they could use. He grabbed a box of c-real's and got it inside the basket.

"I'm going to make Bisparmahk." She said entering the vegetable's section searching for some onions.

"It sounds very weird." He said.

"It's Russian." She said and he looked at her confused. "I'm part Russian." She said beating her lip. It wasn't that much of a lie. She had been Russian, she's currently American but Russia is a part of herself.

They reached the cashier's with a full basket. She didn't even know how half of the staff had ended up in there.

"Tom, how did all these things get in my basket?" she asked him and he smirked.

"We have nothing in the fridge." He said. There's the plural again.

"How the hell did you get all these things without me noticing?" she asked. What was wrong with her? She was the Black Widow, nothing got out of her attention.

"Hehehe, Trickster, remember?" he said displaying his moving fingers.

And he was Loki, no matter the name or his status; he was the God of Mischief.

She paid for everything and made him carry all the bags back to the apartment.

"Tasha…" she heard a voice coming out of an alley. She stood still.

"Is everything alright?" Tom asked her.

"I think I forgot my keys in the shop. I'll go back, you keep walking and I'll catch you." She said and walked back. As soon as he turned his back she sneaked inside the alley.

"Damn it, Clint! What the hell are you doing here?" she asked him.

"That's how you welcome your best friend that just got home from China?" he said getting out of the shadows.

"That's how I greet a fool who's ready to blow our cover." She said.

"He's back and you're babysitting him." He said not the least pleased.

"He's lost his memory." She said but he shook his head.

"No, don't you see it's just another of his tricks. He wants you to believe him, to get to know our plans." He said.

"That's what I thought but it's a fact, Clint. I don't how, but Loki got to Earth mortal and he got a bullet in his head." She said.

"amateurs." He commented.

"I know you can't forgive him but…"

"And you can? He killed so many people, Tasha." He said. Natasha sighed.

"I don't know if I can forgive him but I've lived with him for the past two weeks. I know what it's like to wake up at night because of your nightmares, to be haunted by your past and he doesn't even know why it happens to him. I can't say I pity him, but I try to understand him. If anything, I should." She said and he exhaled hard.

"You can't change the monster."

"I've changed, or is it that you don't believe I have truly changed, either?" she said. It was a slap on the face. She hated manipulating Clint but there was no other way right now. She couldn't risk it.

"That's different." He said with a low voice.

"Was I not a murderer, was I not a cold blood killer, blinded by the power of death, an egoistical being?" she said and he looked at her ashamed.

"Just don't let your guard down." He said and left.


	9. Cooking

**Thanks for reviewing this story. As asked there are more Natasha / Loki scenes. This is a Natasha/Loki story it's just that the poor prince will have to go through a dark path to find peace with himself (if that's possible) and Millie has a part on that. (as well as mating those two)**

**And, no there's no particular reason his new name is Tom (it's just my fangirl love for Tom Hiddleston :) )**

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She reached the front door of the building and got the keys out of her pocket smiling.

"Turns out they were here all along." She said but he didn't seem to buy it. He was kind, not stupid. He remained silent and they got to the apartment getting the groceries and everything else out of the bags. Natasha boiled some water and prepared the meet.

"Would you mind to help me with the paste?" she asked him and he nodded.

"I like cooking." He said grabbing a bowl from underneath the sink. How did he know she kept her bowls there? He was very observant.

"Did the amnesia left that part out?" she teased him playing on the edge but he didn't seem to care. Instead he smirked and reached for the flour.

"I didn't always live on the streets. After the accident I found someone who wanted to take care of me." He said with a tone of nostalgia.

It seemed that he had come to like that woman; she had saved him after all. He missed her.

"Care to tell me that part of your life?" she said chopping some vegetables.

Tom sighed and shrugged.

"When I woke up at the hospital I was frightened. I didn't know who I was or where I was but most important… I didn't know the essence of being. I guess that's how babies feel when they are born. I didn't know how to speak, or eat, I didn't understand when they talked to me. I was, just like Millie said, an alien." He said breaking an egg inside the bowl.

Natasha swallowed hard. How difficult it must have been for him? He got, literary, reborn.

"The doctors couldn't save me. They told me so later that I had died and I was brought back with no explanation, a true miracle." He added breaking another egg.

Natasha wondered if it was a real miracle or some Asgardian had put his finger. If so, why was Loki still there?

"A lot of damage had been done, only my sight was left in tact. I remember she was sitting right next to my bed. She was waiting for me to wake up. She had a very welcoming smile. She talked to me but I didn't understand. She had white hair and bright green eyes. Nancy Guttenberg." He said sighing and broke on or two eggs more in the bowl.

"go on."

"I don't know how much time it took me to become a person again. I learned how to walk, to speak, to eat; I was trained to be human. She took me to her house and helped me. She bought me books and sketch books, colours. The doctors had said that I needed stimulation. She brought a teacher to teach me how to play the piano and I learned English, French and German. I liked to paint a lot and sketch. She liked my sketches. When I was strong enough to walk on my own and stand I wanted to do more to please her. Cooking was one of those things we did together. Thus, I like cooking." He said and grabbed a handful of flour and threw it at her.

Natasha froze in her place shocked by it, hearing tom's giggles.

Tricks and Mischief.

Ok

She took some flour and returned the favour.

"Then, we shall have war!" he said and threw some of the mix at her. She dodged it with the grace of the Black Widow and grabbed an egg breaking it on his head. Tom gasped and grabbed her wrists. He had grown strong the last few days. She tripped him and threw him on the floor but with his greater mass he changed their positions to trap her beneath him. With her free leg she kicked the table where the bowl with the mixture was and it flew up in the air landing directly onto his head. With a fast move, Natasha trapped him between her thighs.

"You look delicious." She said tasting some of the mixture on him.

"I've fallen under false information. You are trained to bit poor men." He teased but it struck a chord. Natasha masked it masterfully and continued to smile cockily.

"You are going to clean all this mess and cook for me since you enjoy cooking so much." She said.

"Anything to please the woman that saved me." He said. Natasha got up swallowing hard. It was getting really hard.

"You go shower and then the kitchen awaits you. Don't be late because White is not my colour." She said.

"Red is not my colour but for you I make an exception." He said leaving her dumfounded as he made his way to the bathroom.

What was that?

Was he coming back? Was it a reference to that last talk?

What were the odds that he had directed this whole thing so well to sneak his way into SHIELD and attempt another attack?

But he wouldn't attack Earth for the second time. No, Loki is not stupid. But with a plan like that, it may even work.

What was the truth? She got her clothes off in the middle of the kitchen and walked to her bedroom getting her robe until she could get into the bathroom. She grabbed the small book she had taken from the book store and opened it.

_Loki_

_The God of Mischief_

There were several pictures of him; none of them were even close to reality.

_Son of Odin_

Not exactly

He is married! He has two children! He's the father of Hel! Of a wolf! Of a Serpent! He has given birth to a horse!

Ok, she didn't quite expect that.

He… he had killed his brother!

She closed the book and sighed. Was he really a monster then?

But how can you believe a mythology book?

He was supposed to be bound under a serpent that drips poison onto him while his wife collects it. Yet he was in the bathroom showering.

No, she couldn't believe any of these.

She heard the door opening and marched out taking his place not even taking a look at his half naked form. Her mind was a mess. She needed to know more.

She had to know why he was there, how he ended up like that, what had happened in Asgard. She needed to communicate with Asgard. She hoped that stupid book had an idea.

She got out in the pleasant smell of food just cooked. She walked in the kitchen finding him cooking.

"I did just as you commanded. The food would be ready in a few minutes. I looked the recipe on the internet." He said smiling.

"You are a fast student. It looks delicious." She said.

"Just like me?" he said and they both burst into laughter.

She got the table ready and made a salad. In a few moments they were eating.

"I was so hungry!" he said.

"You're always hungry." She teased him. He shrugged and continued eating.

"How come and you ended up on the streets after everything you learned?" she asked him out of the blue.

He swallowed and looked at her sad. He wiped his mouth and drank some water.

"It's easy, the only person that ever cared for me died. I don't know much about Nancy. She was alone, no family, no children. She had a pension and rented a home not very far from here. She wanted to give me my life back because I saved hers." He said taking a bite from his food.

"did you?"

"I don't know, that's what they told me. She told me I had saved her from a thief who was about to kill her in the middle of the park. I fought with him and then someone shot me." He said.

"She felt responsible for what happened to you?" she asked him.

"I guess so but that doesn't change anything. I either had a very bad life or a very lonely one. No one searched for me all this time. Whoever I was I got a chance to start over. Maybe if Nancy was still alive, things would be different." He said taking a zip of water.

"Better different?" she asked him.

"I don't know. Maybe if I had gone to college I wouldn't meet you and my life would be less bright and yet simpler." He said.

That was dangerous territory. "What do you mean simpler?" she asked him, provoking him. If he was hiding anything she would understand.

"I am happy that you found me and that you care for me so but I struggle to find a reason why you would do such a thing. Nancy felt obliged to, why you?"

"Do you have such a difficult time to believe I am a good person?" she said.

"You keep no copy of the bible in your home or anything religious, I can't believe you are the religious type. Nothing that indicates you're an activist too. You're either a very good person or you are hiding something. I feel there's a gap I should be aware of but as much as I try I can't fill it." he said and she smiled trying to cover things up.

"Maybe the gap is that I care about you." She said and they continued eating in peace.


	10. Pages Turn

**Hello! First things first, I want to thank me reviewers. I was getting kind of disappointed but I understand... things just start to get interesting.**

**I don't own the Avengers, Natasha or Loki but at least I get to play with them!**

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Half of a man

Chapter 10

Pages turn

Tom was sitting in the library reading one of the books he had bought the previous day. Suddenly a screen came out of nowhere with a very bored Millie on it.

"I don't feel like working today." She said sighing.

"Is there a day you do?" he asked not rising his head from his book. Millie gave it a thought and nodded.

"There is but it seems that New York does not inspire me." She said using her hand to support her head.

"Then why don't you leave?" he asked her smirking.

"Would you like to come and play with me in the gym?" she asked him and he sighed nodding. He left his book down and walked down a level to the gym. Millie was already there hopping from one foot to the other like an excited puppy.

"Go change, come on!" she said. He eyed her suspiciously.

"What are we going to do?" he asked her changing into a pair of sweatpants.

Millie smirked.

"Do you like to dance?" she asked him. Tom arched his eyebrows disbelieving.

"Or maybe you prefer boxing."

"What are we dancing?" he asked making her laugh.

"Do you know how to tango?" she asked smirking.

Natasha walked down the corridor rather fast. She had been watching the security footage when she noticed Tom and Millie in the gym. At first they seemed to do something very peculiar until she realized what it was. She was showing him how to dance. She was having fun watching him straggle until things got complicated. Moves became fast, bodies started sweating, coming too close. She couldn't let that happen. It wasn't right. Not that she was jealous but it was not moral

The black widow talking about morality!

"Millie, could you come to the office with me? There are a few documents that require your attention." She said in a pure professional tone bursting in.

"Can't it wait?" she asked untangling herself from Tom.

"It's urgent." She said thinking how to cover it the moment Millie left him and walked away with her.

"What does Riley want?" she asked her drinking some water. They walked to the office were Natasha had gotten a few documents from Riley she had stocked for later. She knew little of finances but it turned out they were pretty handy.

Millie sat down and scanned the first two.

"It seems we got a small problem with the materials. Tony won't sign for the package to come to New York." she said scratching her head.

"I thought you were the CEO." Natasha said. What was Tony playing at?

"I am but he's got the biggest share and it's his name on the sign. I need his signature for top secret stuff especially when it's from W.E storage." She said taking some notes. "I need to call him. I may as well do it now." She said.

"Yes, I'll leave." Natasha said but thought about it and stayed. "Before I leave, I want to tell you something." She said. Millie didn't answer.

"You shouldn't get too close to Tom, we don't know much about him." She said knowing just how stupid that must have come out. Millie was pretty bright; she knew she wouldn't get anyone inside the tower if he wasn't clear.

"I don't know you, either." She said. That wasn't the smart answer she expected. There was something else here.

"It's not the same."

"Is it not? Why? Is it because he's been on the streets? Because he's killed so many people or maybe the fact he is the reason my father flew to his death almost leaving my brother an orphan?" she said in a calm voice and a cool stare.

Natasha had to compliment her. She had become an excellent business woman.

"So you know." She said. She wasn't shocked; Tony must have told her everything.

"I do and I don't understand. Why would you bring him here, in the source of phase 2? What was Fury's great idea?" she asked her professional mode on.

Natasha sat down and prepared herself.

"He doesn't remember. As we know so far he isn't faking it. Fury thought that if he met you it would make him more human so that if he ever came back we could have him on our side." she said. Millie tapped her pen on the desk and sized her up trying to understand if she should believe her.

"Has even one of you tried to understand him? Have you even tried to get to know Tom? He's been through so much, he didn't need my broken story, he's so broken. He died and came back; he struggled to learn in a few months what we learn in years of existence. He spent the last six months sleeping in the park, surviving hunger, cold, rain and gang boys. He's been humiliated and you think all he needed was another lie in his life?" she said. She had thought about all of that but she was Agent Romanoff and that came first.

"You don't talk, that's weird. You let me talk in order to get my anger out. I won't ruin your mission don't be afraid. Do you know he's in love with you?" she said and that struck her hard.

Love is for Children

He can't love

He's…

"Tonight he's going to ask you out. You should think about it. I give you until Monday, that's four days. I call Thor, then." She said making her eyes go wide.

"You can communicate with Thor?" she asked her and she smirked.

"A call to Jane Foster wouldn't mind." She said and left.

Natasha walked out finding Tom walking towards the bathroom. She hesitated for a moment but she called for him.

"Tom!"

He stopped and looked at her smiling. "Is everything ok?" he asked her.

"Yes, business staff. So, what were you two doing before I interrupt you?" she asked him and his grin made her think about her tone. She should sound indifferent.

"We were dancing, she was teaching me how to tango." He said.

"Oh, really? Did you like it?" she asked him.

"I did, actually, it was very… refreshing." He said smirking. That was not good.

"Ok, I should let you take a bath then." She said and turned to leave.

"Natalie!" he called and she froze. She could only imagine what was coming.

She turned around waiting for the inevitable.

"I was wondering, would you like to go out tonight? Some place simple, to the movies maybe. It would be on me." He said and she arched an eyebrow.

"Where would you get the money?" she asked him and he smiled.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I got a job and got some money in advance." He said. Ok, now she was even more curious.

"When and where?" she asked him. He looked at his shoes like a child waiting to be yelled at.

"Today, while you were out, we went to a piano restaurant and I applied for pianist. They liked me and I got hired." He said beaming. Natasha looked at him frozen. She didn't know how to feel. She was happy he had finally starting to stand on his own feet but he had done it behind her back and she was pretty sure that the plural was referring to Tony Stark's daughter.

"That's…great!" she finally said smiling. Tom gave her a dazzling smile too.

"I wanted to surprise you. So would you like to go to the movies?" he asked her.

"You don't work today?"

"No, I start tomorrow." He said.

"Ok then." She said and left hating herself for smiling.

It was so simple their date and yet the best she had ever had. She had gone to galas, invited to expansive yachts, she had even attended one of Tony Stark's famous parties but nothing could compete that. They saw a comedy which with Tom's commentary became ten times better. She could hardly hold her tears of laughter. They tricked the cashier to get in a second time for free and they bought pop corns half the prize. Sometimes tricks could be harmless.

When the movie was over they decided to take a walk through the park on their way home.

"I used to sleep on that tree. It's not very comfortable but it's safe." He said.

"Did they attack you regularly?" she asked him.

"On a daily basis but when I was up on that tree they couldn't find me. I lay there watching at the stars imaging I was some place else, somewhere across the galaxy." He said smiling.

"Really? What place would that be?" she asked him.

"I don't know but I'm sure it would have you in it." he said cutting a flower from the tree. It smelled wonderful.

"Oh, Tom…" she said but she was silenced by his lips. They were so soft and skilled. His hands long and somewhat rough touched her face as he claimed her mouth with passion. She felt as if oxygen was leaving her and they parted for almost a second. Before she knew it she was on soft grass, hidden by the shadows.

She wanted him, she needed him with her. She was as selfish as any woman could get. He traced her lips with his fingers and gave her a light kiss before he travelled further down to her neck, her shoulders. His hands, roamed skillfully on her thighs and the small of her back.

"Delicious." He said, his dark voice sending chills down her spine as he traveled further down unbuttoning her shirt.

"Natalie." He said and her eyes snapped open. This was wrong, it was so wrong!

She wasn't Natalie and he was not Tom. She pushed him away sending him a few meters away as she bolted upwards. At that moment she wished they could become Nat and Tom, but they weren't, they were Natasha and Loki.

"No, this is wrong, we shouldn't…" she said trying to catch her breath. Tom looked at her confused.

"What's wrong, is it the park?" he asked her innocently. Oh, how she wished she could disappear.

"No, we can't do this, I can't do this." She said.

"I see, there's another man."

"No, Tom it's not that." She said trying to drop the subject and get him to leave.

"Is it because I'm homeless? Because I don't have a normal job? A woman like you would never get with a guy like me but I…"

"No! It's not that, can't we just let it go?" she pleaded him but he had frozen. There was something frightening in his eyes.

Realization.

"It's because of my past." It was a statement, not a question.

"What are you talking about?" she tried so desperately to keep the illusion for a little longer.

"You've known me before, before this. That's why you took me in, you know me. Who was I? Was I a bad man? Was … was I a monster like in my dreams?" he asked her and the pain in his eyes made her wanna cry.

"TELL ME!" a vision flashed before him.

_Am I cursed?_

"You're Loki." She finally said.

"Loki?" he mouthed the word with such distaste. The man that horrified his precious Natalie was him. The man he had come to hate was him.

"What… what was… am I?" he asked her not able to believe any of that.

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"You're not of this planet. You're a God, you come from a planet named Asgard and you're a Prince." She said.

_You're my son_

_What more than that?_

"What more than that?" he asked her. He didn't seem to have a problem about the alien thing.

"You tried to take the throne, you planned to kill your father, your brother, and you almost destroyed another planet. You tried to take Earth, a lot of people died." She said. He had trouble breathing. She tried to get close to him but he pushed her away.

_Kneel!_

"Betrayed… Used, betrayed…" he kept saying. He seemed lost in his world.

_I could have done it, father!_

_No, Loki_

"Who are you? Why did you take me in? You bit those men that night." He said. His eyes had changed, there was anger in them. They reminded her of the Loki she had met all those years ago.

"I'm Natasha Romanoff, a SHIELD agent, an Avenger; we fought you, we bit you…" she said. Suddenly a vision of Millie's father came, whisky on hand.

_There's no throne, no version of this were you come on top of it._

"Tony Stark…" he said getting lost again. Natasha got closer to him.

"Millie's father…" she reminded him. He saw it in her eyes; she wanted him to remember he was Millie's father. He got a step closer too.

"I am your prisoner; you were my guard all this time. You wanted me restricted, to get me to your side, soften me and you used Millie. You used me!"

He said and before he knew his hand was around her throat, squeezing. Her eyes grew wide and he could see the terror in them. He could feel her pulse going crazy in his arms.

_I won't touch Barton, not until he kills you, slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear…_

"Loki…" she whispered and the word struck him like thunder.

"Love… is for children." He said and ran away, getting lost in the shadows.

Natasha grabbed her throat trying to catch her breath again. Why had she let him do that? Was she so sure he wouldn't harm her?

Love is for children. He had remembered. He had left.

She got her cell – phone and called Fury.

"Code red; he remembered." She said and run after him hoping she would find him.

* * *

**So the truth has been revealed... What's going to happen now that Loki remembered or maybe he didn't...**

**Hm, I guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter**

**_sneak peek : The Avengers will be assembled but Thor won't be coming alone from Asgard..._  
**


	11. Time to break the loop

Half of a man

Chapter 11

Time to break the loop

Millie was sitting in her living room looking at the ceiling. Tony was watching her from the bar while Clint was pacing up and down like a maniac. Everything had gone wrong. The secret had been revealed and now they had to deal with a mad God let loose and lost in New York.

But Clint didn't buy it. That had been his plan all along.

"Director Fury and agent Hill are coming up." Alfred said but no one changed his status.

"Stark!" he yelled exiting the elevator.

"Why is it that you always yell at me?" Tony asked him stepping away from the bar.

"Daddy Issues?" Millie said not looking at them.

"Where's Tasha?" Clint asked him.

"Where you should be too, looking for our alien friend." He said but Clint didn't reply.

"Captain Rogers is looking for him also; Dr. Banner is on his way. Mr. Stark your help would be useful." Maria said but Tony shook his head.

"I won't leave my daughter alone." He said. Mildred sighed and all attention was drawn on her. She got up and approached them.

"You should go find him, Tony, the sooner the better. Everything is under control here." She said but he shook his head again.

"Please, you came here for a reason. Soon the sun will rise; it would be easier with you up in the air." She said trying to convince him.

"Ok, but only for you. I'll be back as soon as possible." He said and left taking Hawkeye with him.

Millie went back to the couch followed by Fury and Hill.

"So, Ms. Stark…" Fury started but stopped at her glare. That was a Stark he didn't like messing with. Just like Pepper Stark, she was quite dangerous.

"I have sent the message. All we can do is wait." She said staring at the ceiling again.

"Would you like to tell me how did you manage to send a message to another planet?" Fury asked her.

"No." she simply answered surprising him. Tony would have started talking non endlessly about how he had designed and built a machine that could send a message light-years across the universe; but not Millie and not now. There was no machine this time, but there was a secret she had promised to keep to herself.

"So, we just wait?" Maria asked.

"We just wait." Millie said but a thunder in the clear sky of New York made her jump from her seat.

"It seems we need to wait no longer." She said walking to the balcony waiting for the second thunder.

Thor rose from where he had fallen, Mjolnir at hand, red cape waving at the air, eyes menacing. He looked nothing like the naïve guy her father had told her about. Behind him stood a woman with golden hair and a white dress; her face was the picture of worry itself. She reminded her of Pepper even though she looked nothing like her.

"Where is my brother?" his voice was thunder itself, making the walls tremble. Millie didn't respond, knowing the director was right behind her.

"We've lost him as have you as it seems. What happened? How did Loki escape from the almighty Asgard?" Fury was … furious.

"My son did not escape." The woman said putting on a brave mask. Everyone silenced at her present and she walked in front of Thor to stand face to face with Fury.

"I sent him to earth." She said. Fury's face was distorted but he didn't speak.

"This is my mother, Queen Frigga of Asgard." Thor said and Millie felt the urge to bow. Maria was looking at her in awe while Fury stood his ground.

"Uhm…" Millie said and it seemed no one had noticed her until then.

"Why don't we just get inside and talk nicely?" she proposed but everyone looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"You must be the daughter of Stark, the one who send the message." Thor said and she nodded.

"Thank you." Frigga said making her feel awkward. Millie led them inside making sure she behaved properly.

"Can't you spot Loki with magic? It seemed to work last time." Fury said but Frigga shook her hand.

"I've place a cloak over him, to protect him." She said drinking the water Millie had given her.

"What do you mean?" Millie asked her but the Queen's smile told her it was not yet time to find out.

"I should go find my brother." Thor said.

"The more the better; who knows where he could be?" Maria said. Millie looked at her and made her mind work. She did not know Loki but she had come to know Tom. The man who had left was not Loki, maybe he was not Tom either but he was as scared as Tom. Maybe she knew were they could find him.

"Alfred!" she yelled surprising everyone.

"Yes, Ms. Stark." The computer answered surprising the Asgardians.

"Call Tony, tell him to look at the cemetery." She said making Fury wonder.

* * *

Natasha was nearer to the cemetery. She had heard Millie and had run there. She should have thought it earlier. It was Tom who had left; he had broken down, not Loki. So he had gone to the one person who had cared for him, Mrs. Nancy Guttenberg. It didn't take her long to find him. The sun was rising and there was no one else there. He was laid down in front of the grave. At first she thought he was sleeping but once she got closer…

His skin was paler than normal and he didn't respond. She turned him on his back and opened his eyes. Years of training held her from screaming.

His eyes were completely white. No trace of green was left in them. She put her hand on his throat checking for a pulse. He was dying…

She called Stark and they moved him to the Stark Tower as soon as they could. No one told them what they would find there.

"I need Banner!" Tony yelled landing on the tower. He could see a few people standing inside the living room but he only cared for Millie, he didn't want to see her 'friend' in this condition. He passed through the mass of people not hearing their pleas and commands and whatever, going straight to the infirmary.

"Where's Banner?" it was all he kept saying. Upon reaching the room he laid Loki down and walked around the room trying to figure out what he was supposed to do until Bruce appeared. Thankfully he didn't have to wait for long. Bruce appeared in the room going straight to Loki.

"What happened?" he asked Tony.

"I don't know, Natasha found him like this." Tony answered and watched the scientist while he was checking Loki up.

"He seems alright, except from the fact his eyes have gone white and his pulse is weak. I cannot explain what has happened." He said wiring Loki to the machines and inserting an I.V to his arm.

The two men walked out and for the first time Tony acknowledged how many people were on his tower. Steve, Clint and Natasha had returned, Fury and Hill were standing next to them and Millie was talking to Thor and… a strange woman. As soon as they walked out she turned to him, her face full of worry.

"How is he?" she asked before anyone else had a chance.

"We don't know, he seems unharmed but… his pulse is weak and his eyes are blank." Bruce said. She flinched but didn't react.

"Do not worry, mother, we will bring him back. Can we see him?" Thor asked leaving everyone dumbfounded. It seemed all of the Avengers were too busy with Loki to have noticed Frigga.

"Mother?" Natasha said shocked.

"I am Frigga of Asgard, Thor and Loki's mother." She said giving them a sad smile before she entered the infirmary.

* * *

**Ok, so yes it was Frigga who came along with Thor... I guess it was too obvious wasn't it?**

**But what happened to poor Loki?**


	12. Truth revealed

Half of a man

Chapter 12

Truth revealed

Natasha was seating next to Loki reading the book he had left unfinished. It seemed like it was an eon away and yet it had been only yesterday they had gone to the movies, they had laughed, kissed…

_Pathetic; this is the basis of sentimentality_

She thought but even that was in his voice. She refused to name the feeling she had. It was not denial, it simply could not be named; it was far too complicated.

Maybe guilt was a big part of it but not the whole of it.

Unfamiliar steps got her out of her thoughts alarming her.

"Sorry if I startled you." Frigga said. That woman was magnificent. She was so elegant, so kind and yet a fighter. She could definitely see her resemblance to Thor but could not stop thinking…Loki's good side.

"No, no you didn't, besides it's your right to be with your son." Natasha said and got up.

"You come here, everyday while Thor and I are in the dining room and you read to him." She said smiling at her. Natasha didn't know what to say. She didn't even know if she was supposed to say anything.

"He didn't finish it and I know he really likes it." she said showing the book to Frigga. The woman sat next to her son, caressing his silk, black hair.

"He always liked books, especially history books. He could lose himself in the libraries with hours and I always had to think something clever to get him out; magic was one of them." She said and they stayed in silence for a moment.

"I know what your companions think but Loki wasn't always like that. He was a wicked little boy, yes, but he was so kind and full of love. He was always excited to discover something new, whether it was a world or knowledge. I will never forgive myself for what happened to him." She said.

Natasha resumed her seat next to the bed and placed the book on the nightstand. If there was a chance to learn more about the real Loki that was it.

"What happened to him?" she asked her. Frigga sighed and kissed Loki's forehead.

"I knew what would happen, I have the gift of the all-sight but even if I didn't I could see my son's path." She said sighing. "As you know, Loki is not my son by birth." She said and Natasha nodded.

"He's a Frost Giant." She said wondering if she should ask what exactly those creatures were.

"My husband, Odin attacked Jotunheim to bring order to the universe. When he went to the temple he found a baby, too small for a Frost Giant. It was abandoned, left to die, the son of Laufey, the prince of Jotunheim." She said smiling at her son. Natasha looked at her shocked. So Loki was a prince and a first born of what she got.

"Odin covered him with his magic, giving him an Asgardian look. You see Frost Giants have red eyes and blue skin, marked in birth by tribe and status. We couldn't have him wondering around like that." She said sighing.

"Why?" Natasha asked trying to cover all of her questions at once.

"People are shortsighted and they often become cruel. Asgard and Jotunheim were at war for many centuries. With lives as long as ours, past doesn't change as fast as yours. Jotuns are considered savages, cruel monsters that seek only war. Imagine if we brought a Jotun baby in Asgard; anyone could try and slay him." She put it bluntly because she knew she could handle it. She needed to tell someone the truth. After all those centuries of lies and half truths she needed to get it off her chest and she knew that woman was as strong as she could be.

"They would slay a baby? Especially under the King's care?" Natasha asked.

"Even if my husband had taken him for political reasons I would not let a baby be targeted for his whole life. He was just baby, abandoned; his only mistake in life was his size. If the world knew we had a Jotun prince in Asgard, the people would protest, many would want to kill him, kingdoms not so kind to us would try to kidnap him or anything else they could find to start a war again." Frigga said sighing deeply. "We did the right thing hiding him from the world but hiding him from himself that was a mistake." She added and let Natasha comprehend what she had told her.

Abandoned, taken, used…. It sounded familiar.

"But how could you use him since he thought he was your son?" Natasha asked her feeling the sting in the question. She saw it in her face too. It sounded so wrong.

"He is the rightful king of Jotunheim. Odin was planning to have him claim his birthright once the time was right and Jotunheim was left without a King. He was trained to be a king along with Thor but he always thought it was the throne of Asgard he could claim. We didn't tell him. Growing in Asgard, stories and sayings travel through walls. So Loki learned to hate the Frost Giants just like any other Asgardian did. He learned to hate what he was." She said.

Natasha looked at his calm face.

_I am a monster_

She had heard him say more than once. Even in his trapped memory that feeling had been haunting him. She knew that feeling; she had come to hate herself for all the things she had done. She, too, had been used in the worst ways but Loki… He hated himself because of his origins.

"So you decided to hide the truth from him and let him believe he was an Asgardian. Did you really think it would last for ever?" Natasha asked her.

"We hoped but we both knew better. Loki was never like other children in Asgard. He was charmed by knowledge and magic. His mind always worked in a far more complicated way than that of Thor's. Thor was always straightforward, he never hid his feelings but Loki… he was always calculating everything. I could see it since he had been a small child that he would always seize a situation before he spoke and despite everyone's belief, his humor was nothing but a shield well calculated and always to the point. He is truly brilliant and a charismatic negotiator, a gift of speech even Odin doesn't possess." Frigga said holding her son's hand. She felt guilty for all that had happened. She had seen it coming and yet had done nothing about it.

"Odin never got passed it. He had met Laufey, they had talked and he knew what a silver tongue the Jotun King was. That was the thorn to his side for many centuries because every time Loki spoke he reminded him of Laufey; it reminded him he was not our son. Preparing Thor for the throne made him push away Loki even more which led to his well-calculated plan for interrupting Thor's big day. Everything went wrong from there on. He found out about his heritage and planned Jotunheim's fall but even then all he had been wanting was to make his father proud." She said. Natasha didn't speak; she didn't know what to say. A life full of lies, of hatred, of rejection. How should a child react?

"You must understand, I thought him dead, I would do everything in my hand to keep him alive." Frigga said.

"What do you mean dead?" she asked him.

"I guess Thor told little to nothing. When Thor destroyed the Bifrost I almost lost both my sons. They nearly fall to oblivion but Odin got there on time. He caught Thor and Thor caught his brother. Loki…" her voice was weak, nearly choked at the memory she must have had before even the incident occurred.

"Loki let go of Thor's hand and fell to his oblivion." She said making Natasha look instinctively at the sleeping prince.

He had committed suicide.

Now she understood his nightmare, the dream that had been taunting him for as long as they had stayed together. He had fallen, in every way that was and he kept falling.

For ever betrayed by the ones he trusted.

"I never forgave Odin and he knows that. For all the things my son has done we are responsible but for his wish to die, for the horrid he went through wandering in the void between the worlds, that is his fault." She said caressing Loki's hair lost in her own memory. "They didn't tell me what happened but he knew they needn't. I had known long before it happened. In the storm of his feelings and the blur of his mind Loki wanted to prove himself worthy to Odin. As… as my son hanged over his doom, ready to fell to his death… my husband… his father… denied him." She said and Natasha could see her cry even though no tears could be seen on her face. She cried and mourned as a queen only would.

She looked at Loki. Never again had she made an attempt to understand the man. Everyone had just fallen to the conclusion he was a mad man, hastily taking the habit to call him a monster.

He was broken, so broken much like many of them.

The genius billionaire ever neglected and taunted by nightmares of the terrorists and his weapons that threatened to kill him.

The smart scientist, used as a lab rat that hid himself sacrificing his life to withhold the monster he hid inside him.

The good captain, used, frost, which had cost him his whole life and everything he held dear.

Thor, who had had a liking for bloodshed and never thought twice to start a war.

Her, programmed by the soviets since she had been a child, used as a killing machine with her ledger dripping red bound for God knows how many years to remember her monstrosities.

Yes, he had been right that night, they were very much alike.

Maybe, only Clint could get away but even he had his share of red on his hands.

They were no saints and certainly not perfect.

For a second she thought about Tony's daughter and how she had taken a liking and understanding at the God of Lies even after she had found out who he was. Millie thought herself to be non- repairable, her story much similar to his but even though she hadn't heard that version of Frigga she had figured him out.

Maybe there was a thing called a pure soul.

"What happened when Thor got him back to Asgard?" she asked her suddenly feeling ill. She remembered that day; it had been sunny, the perfect day for their victory. She had been happy even though he had told her what was to follow. She remembered the pained look in his eyes and how Clint had chuckled at her joke.

How far down into the hole had they sent him that day?

"Odin did not show mercy. He may recognize his mistakes as a father but as a king he is ruthless. I begged him for exile, we all did but… he had Loki's mouth sewn so he could not use his silver tongue and chained him to a tree with a serpent dropping his venom on him." She said tracing the marks on Loki's body.

"He couldn't scream or plead for mercy but I could feel his pain. I am his mother." She said and got lost for a while to the days her boys were just boys and they would play in the garden.

"For how long?" Natasha asked, her emotions well hidden under her mask. She could understand his pain, she had gone through similar tortures but sewing her mouth… that had not happened.

"His punishment was indefinite. Whenever Loki would feel remorse for his crimes and had truly changed his punishment would be over. But I know my son and every day that passed his anger grew bigger. It hurt to see him like that, knowing I couldn't help him but then… one night the future called me and I saw what was to happen to him. I couldn't tell anyone and even now I can't tell you. We must not risk the row of the events that are to come but I couldn't sit and wait for my son to suffer a much more painful fate than Odin's punishment and end up in Hela's kingdom." She said her futures hardening. Natasha listened carefully now as they were coming to the part that interested the most.

"I gathered my most trustful allies, my son Thor and the good Heimdal that no matter what had happened between him and Loki he was willing to save the prince of Asgard. I won't hide anything from you young girl, there is no point to that. I used magic far more powerful than that of my husband's, magic that is forbidden amongst the nine realms, to set my son free. I replaced him with a clone. I healed him and treated him in order to withstand his journey to Midgard. I sent him here, deprived of his powers, a mortal, cloaked by anyone who might be looking for him, anyone but Heimdal." She said and sighed. "I thought I lost him again that day. He had acted as a true prince, saving that woman but endangered his life." She said and extended her hand to Natasha. The red head looked at her confused but the queen flashed her a sad smile.

"I will show you." She said and grabbed her hand.

* * *

_She was in Central Park. She recognized the place; it was where Loki had kissed her. She saw him sitting on his tree looking at the sky nostalgically. He was missing his home, she was sure of it. Suddenly he stiffened and sat up. Not long after that she heard a scream. He hesitated for a moment before jumping from the branch. He flinched in pain and cursed in a foreign language before running away. She followed him suit, her body weightless, like a spirit. _

_He said nothing as he hit the man with a branch. The poor woman was trembling. Loki gave her his hand and whispered to her._

"_Go, leave, don't look back." He said and she nodded._

"_Hehe, if it is not your royal highness, the prince of Central Park." The man said wiping the blood from his lips._

"_How can you call yourself a man, attacking old women?" Loki said disgusted. The man smirked at him and shrugged._

"_Because I can." He said and the old woman was thrown on the ground before Loki by another man. The young prince lifted the branch like it was his scepter and struck him sending him to the ground. Before the first thief could react he sent a stone towards him and attacked them again, yelling at the old woman to leave._

_Natasha saw one of them drawing a gun but she couldn't stop them. She tried but something held her back. She had no body, she was just a mind. A scream cut through the night as Loki's bleeding body fell on the ground. _

_Footsteps and lights came closer. The thieves ran away leaving the scared woman crying over Loki's body._

"It was all true then." She said having a strange feeling in her stomach. She couldn't quite name it.

"You see, Loki was never bad, he was just very hurt and now… I don't know how to save him." Frigga said.

"You don't know why he's like this?" Natasha asked.

"I may have an idea but I need more time, I may even need help but I swear to you Lady Natasha Romanova, my son will come back."

* * *

**What has happened to Loki really? Will Natasha be able to save him this time? What exactly has the Queen of Asgard in mind?**


	13. Memories

Half of a man

Chapter 13

Memories

Natasha left Frigga watching after Loki and walked down to the dining room where she found Thor and Millie talking.

"There's food in the oven, Tony brought Riley." Millie said smiling. Natasha looked at her suspiciously giving her a small smile.

How dependent could she be, on that man? When she was alone she was capable of everything but when Riley got in the picture she just let everything fall on his shoulders. As she opened the oven she wondered if history could repeat itself; if father and daughter could be same in more than one ways. Besides, Riley was as dependent on Millie as Millie was on him. Very much like Pepper and Tony.

Was it only the Starks or every boss and P.A relationship that could be like this?

Natasha took her plate and sat with them on the table.

"How's my brother?" Thor asked Natasha. "I know you come from his bedroom." He added and she nodded.

"The same." She answered.

"I'm sure he's going to make it." Millie said bringing an air of optimism. She was always optimistic when it came to others. She was the girl who was changing the world after all.

"Tell us Thor, now that Natasha is here as well; tell us stories of Asgard and you and Loki." Millie said practically jumping on her chair. Thor laughed at her enthusiasm and took a gulp of his water.

"All right but you must return the favor later." He said. Millie chuckled.

"If you want to meet my siblings all you have to do is call Miami, the rest will come but you must think it twice before you do. Once it's done it cannot be undone." She said. Thor's laughter shook the whole room.

"I do like you Mildred, you remind me so much of a dear friend of mine, one Loki was in love with." Thor said smirking.

Natasha stopped eating and looked at him. For some reason her chest tightened. She remembered all the things she had read about Loki and wondered if she really wanted to find the truth. But why shouldn't she? Why would it bother her so?

"The Lady Sif, the most feared woman warrior among the Nine realms. She has fought beside me in every fight, every war I've been; merciless and skillful yet loyal and full of love. Loki had been in love with her since we had been boys." Thor said grinning at the memories that rushed through his mind.

"And what did Loki do?" Millie asked him like a child waiting for the rest of the story.

"He practiced his magic on her turning her golden hair black." He said laughing even harder. Natasha looked at him. She thought how that girl must have felt; in a city where everything was gold she had got black hair. Just like Loki. Understanding the trickster's reason she smirked and resumed eating.

"I don't think she took it very well." Millie said and Thor shook his head.

"No, she beat him up and he got locked up in his room for a week. Of course he never changed it back. She actually looks better in it but she won't listen. Leave it to my brother to get under the spell of fierce women." Thor said looking at Natasha. She remained indifferent but her mind raced at his look. Did he know something?

Had they been watching them from Asgard? Had he seen something she had missed?

Or rather something she had refused to see?

"You mean there were more?" Millie asked him scandalized. Thor nodded.

"As a young boy Loki was very shy. He was always buried in his books or sketching, practicing magic and watching the plants in the gardens. He never got along with girls but when we became young lads… well Loki had the gift of words and… wickedness." He said blushing for talking like in front of two ladies.

"He is the God of Fire and Fertility." Millie said surprising Natasha. "It's funny how a Frost giant is the God of Fire." She added cocking her head on one side.

"Well, no one can manipulate that element better than Loki." Thor said.

"Is he really married?" Natasha asked out of the blue. Thor looked at her confused for a few minutes before realizing what she was implying.

"Oh, the myths… well, I can't tell you they are real but they are not solely false as well." The blond god said looking at the table sad.

"Is he really the father of Hell?" Millie whispered?"

"Hela is the product of my brother's early experimentation. She is indeed his daughter but not by birth. As Mildred said he is the God of Fertility. " Thor said looking at his glass.

"You mean there's no mother?" Natasha asked him shocked.

"Of course there is but Loki never… got physical with her. She was alone and wanted children, Loki tested his powers on her. Father did not approve and sent Hela to the kingdom of death." He said

"Why?" Natasha asked thinking of how many things Loki had been denied in his life.

"A child not made of love can never feel it; it is empty of all emotion. That was what he had said and I suppose he is right about Hela. She was always so cold, even as a child. She is half dead after all. Her mother died before giving birth to her." Thor said. How cruel to have someone decide who you are and what you are going to do before you even know yourself?

"And the serpent and the horse and…" Millie stopped.

"Those are just stories as for my brother's marriage agent Romanoff that is an event of the future. He has remained single and Sigyn hasn't found him yet." He said as if Sigyn was more of a title than a name. Natasha played with her food wondering if she should ask her next question.

"What about Balder?" she asked and the Aesir froze. His reaction was the one she had been waiting. It seemed that not everything was a lie.

"Balder… was our brother indeed. Loki is indeed responsible for his death even if he didn't mean it. I think father never forgave him. I had never really thought how it had happened but now that I know the truth I can explain. Balder had the gift of the all – sight, a rare gift he got from Mother. However his sleep was taunted by nightmares of his own death. Mother and Loki spent hours in the library trying to find a way to release him. One day Loki told me he had found it but he needed more power. He had mastered the spell but he needed a bigger energy source. I have never stepped away from a quest and neither did then. It took me almost a week to fetch my brother the secret stones he had requested. Even today I know not their name or purpose. All I know is I gave them to my brother and a blue light summoned him. The light grew stronger and stronger as he spoke the spell ending with a flash of light that thrust us to the walls of his chambers. When I woke up Balder was dead, Loki was missing and the room was covered in snow." Thor said tightening his grip around the glass until it broke.

The two women looked at him in silence.

"Loki was never the same after that; none of us were. Our parents may not know that but he traveled to Hel trying to convince Hela to let Balder come back to life. I cannot say she is as cold as we all thought; my brother lies in Valhalla thanks to her. However Loki never forgave himself. Of course now I understand it was not his fault it was… the Frost Giant in him." Thor said.

"But he is a Frost Giant; the fault was not his because he didn't know he was one." Natasha corrected him and Thor looked at her for a moment or two before he nodded.

"You are right but it doesn't make any difference. We lost a brother and Loki never got over it. I remember him having nightmares for years after Balder's death." He said.

They remained silent for several minutes. Natasha finished her food mechanically and put the plate in the dish washer. Before she could leave an annoying sound filled the room. No one seemed to notice it for a while until a familiar figure popped out of nowhere.

"I just can't get your attention, can I?" Riley said looking at Millie annoyed. He had changed a lot. He had lost weight and gained some muscle which was due to his Shield training. He made sure Millie was always guarded even if she could handle things better than him. He had resumed wearing his glasses due to Millie's absence from California, which revealed his true, geeky self despite the expensive grey suit he wore.

"Aren't you just a bit hot in this thing?" Millie asked him feigning boredom. Natasha knew the truth was far from that.

"Why did you give me this if you're going to make me walk all around the tower to find you?" he asked moving his papers in the air.

"I mean you don't have to be so formal in here." Millie said.

Thor looked at them smirking. Millie jumped up remembering where she was.

"Oh, Thor, you haven't met my assistant, Riley. Riley this is Thor the God of Thunder." She said grinning at the young man's shock.

Show off.

Of course he wouldn't even imagine the blond man in the jeans and black T-shirt was a God but something in the big hammer beside him convinced him.

"You never seize to amaze me, Mil." He said swallowing hard.

Thor stood up and crashed his hand in his own.

"Glad to meet you, Riley…"

"Rogers."

"Son of Rogers" Thor said and flashing a smile he disappeared. Riley watched him go with his mouth slightly open.

"He really is the God of Thunder?" He asked her again.

"Yes he is." Millie answered smiling.

"And that huge hammer is Mjolnir?" He asked her.

"Do you want him to smack you with it to believe it's real?" She asked and he shook his head. "You are fan of fairy tales, Mr. Rogers?" she asked him as she returned to the table letting her body fall on the chair. She was so tired; it had been a long week.

"They're not fairy tales as it seems and it makes me wonder what other myths may be true." He said looking at the elevator where Thor had disappeared.

"Myths are based on legends, Mr. Rogers." Natasha said making him jump.

"Agent Romanoff, I forgot you were here." He admitted readjusting his glasses on his nose.

"Never do that, Riley."

* * *

**A small break before the tough stuff begin...**


	14. The cursed prince

**I want to thank those who took the time to review some of the chapters **

**I really thank you guys and I hope I am not disappointing you**

**Unfortunately I own nothing of this stuff, except you know, the plot and a few characters like Millie Stark, Riley Rogers etc.**

**So, here's the tough stuff...**

* * *

Half of a man

Chapter 14

The cursed prince

"I can't believe my own daughter designed weapons for SHIELD." Tony said for the hundredth time the last week as he claimed back his lab. Bruce looked at him with the corner of his eyes and smirked.

"What?" Tony said annoyed.

"Nothing." He said and resumed his calculations on the screen.

"Why are you smirking, you sneaky green giant?" Tony said even more annoyed. Bruce laughed at that.

"You were ready to do the same several years ago." He told him.

"Yeah, well once upon a time I would do that without even thinking it twice but that is not the case. After what happened in Africa…" his voice trailed off and he got lost for a moment. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"hey, I understand, but everything is ok now; besides we are facing a new threat and I won't lie to you saying that I'm glad Millie worked on these things." Bruce said.

Tony looked at the designs and drafts scattered all around the place. His daughter was a bit more chaotic than him. She even had a worse preservation instinct than him. He figured he should thank Natasha for making sure Millie would stay alive all those months. Riley, he had come to trust him, he had trained him off course but when Millie was alone she seemed to lose contact with the real world. He chuckled at that; so much alike.

Bruce's computer bibbed and the scientist left his friend to read the message.

"Fury? Any words from the outer world?" Tony teased him following him.

"No, it's Betty." Bruce said opening the file he had received.

"Who's Betty? Why don't I know Betty?" Tony started his usual rattle.

"Because you're married and she lives far away from here." The scientist said typing furiously several codes.

"You can't get away Mr. Green, I mean why haven't I ever heard about her?" he teased him even more.

"Because my heart rate increases when I talk about her." Bruce said giving him a sly smile. Tony raised his hands and took a step back.

"Ex – girlfriend equals green guy, I get it." He said making the shy man laugh. Tony resumed tiding leaving Bruce to read whatever document this Betty had sent him. It wasn't long before the calm man yelled in surprise.

"Oh holy…" he paused. Tony got on his side within a second.

"What happened?" Tony asked him.

"I… I need to see Thor's mother." He said and turned to leave but the Man of Iron stopped him.

"Oh no, you are not going anywhere before you tell me. This is my house after all." He said. Bruce looked at him and shrugged. He was going to tell him anyway.

"Did you hear Fury's story about Loki? How he survived the shot in his head?" he asked him and Tony nodded.

"A woman named Nancy Guttenberg took care of him. I had heard the name before but I couldn't quite place it. I searched the internet and I found her. She had worked as History Teacher in my University. Remind you of someone?" He asked him. Tony looked at the picture on the screen.

The black hair, the green eyes, face pale white and thin like a sculpture. He had definitely seen those characteristics before.

"So I got a sample from Loki and had Fury take a sample from Mrs. Guttenberg's body. It turned out SHIELD was outdated in technology so I sent the samples to Betty." He said. Tony still couldn't believe it.

"Fury knew about this?" Tony asked him and the scientist nodded.

The two of them left and gathered everyone in the living room, included the two Asgardians. They had many questions that needed answers.

"Dearly beloved we where gathered here today…"

"Dad, shut up." Millie said clearly on a bad mood. Tony planted himself next to her teasing her to brighten her up.

"Sorry for disturbing you but we've made a discovery that all of you need to know, especially you." Bruce said pointing at the Aesir.

"We tested Loki's blood and Mrs. Guttenberg's, the woman who took care of him after he left hospital. They appeared to be related, firs degree." Bruce said raising a wave of comments.

"Does that mean she may be his real mother?" Frigga asked him. Bruce felt so bad for her. He knew how difficult it must be for her.

"That means he is the prince of fucking Norway!" Fury yelled exiting the elevator. He threw a file on the table and started talking taking permission from no one.

"We tested her blood. She is the lost princess of Norway who got missing thirty years ago. Now explain to me how a mortal princess gives birth to a God who normally doesn't even look human and counts more than two millenniums when she was barely sixty when she died." Fury said shocking everyone. Silence fell among them and everyone looked at Frigga expecting an answer.

The Queen of Asgard looked at the file deep in thought. It was impossible wasn't it? Just like the mortal had said Loki could not be that woman's son, he was thousands of years older than her and he was a Jotun, a very small Jotun…

Her eyes grew wide as a memory struck her…

"Mother, what happened? You seem deep in thought…" Thor said approaching her.

"As you know Asgard had been in war with Jotunheim for several years, centuries even. Laufey was not a peaceful leader. He envied Asgard and Odin and all the treasures he had…" she said letting her voice trail down. Thor's eyes grew bigger as his mother looked at him. She couldn't be serious and yet it was the only logical explanation.

"Mind to share your thoughts?" Tony said getting scolded by Millie.

The two Asgardians looked at them not sure if they should share this information.

"We cannot be certain…" Thor said and took a big breath.

"My father's vault is filled with every treasure in the universe. One of them is the Time Gem. Whoever possesses it, can manipulate time." Thor said.

"Do you suggest that someone time traveled to the 20th century to kidnap a mortal princess, knock her up and then sent her back and let the kid die?" Fury said each word stinging like a knife.

Natasha looked at Frigga. She admired that woman. She looked so stoic and proud even if she wiped inside. She could hide from the entire world but not from Natasha. She was crashed and she could practically hear each part of her break as Fury let those words leave his mouth tactless.

"We can't be sure, I know not if the Gem has ever been stolen from the vault but there is one that knows everything and sees everything. Thor we need to contact Heimdal." The Queen of Asgard said and Thor nodded. Frigga excused herself and exited the room.

"I can't believe he is a prince in three different worlds!" Tony said.

"Don't forget he is the rightful king in two of them." Millie added and got a frown from her father.

"Whose side are you?" Tony said like a pouting.

"The cutest"

"I knew you loved me."

"You are not cute; you are the one who yells at me and acts like I'm a baby."

"Whoa! Except from the fact that you hurt my feelings…do you think Loki is Cute? Oh, God kill me now!" he cried lightening the atmosphere.

"Don't worry daddy, you'll always be my buffoon." She said smiling and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You can't get rid of me." He said crossing his arms pretending not to talk to her.

* * *

Thor left the group to follow his mother to Loki's room. He wasn't impressed when he saw the two crows leaving her hands. He shut the door closed and approached her.

"You did not send Heimdal a message." He said.

"No, Thor, the situation we've put our selves into is far more complicated. Odin needs to know about this." Frigga said embracing herself.

"Aren't you afraid he's going to punish us? He's ruthless and sometimes…" Thor said but Frigga stopped him.

"Your father knows everything." She said making Thor freeze.

"How does he know? What do you mean?" Thor asked her.

"One does not need the all-sight to know Thanos was going to hunt your brother down. No place in the universe would be safe for him, we knew that. We had two options, it was either killing him ourselves to spare him the torture or…"

"Deceive everyone." Thor realized.

"My son, do not feel betrayed, it was for your brother's own good. It was never meant for him to go through all the things he did but…" Frigga said and Thor stopped her.

"You don't have to apologize to me Mother, I understand. You did what you thought was best. So father knows…"

"Yes, he has Heimdal watching. I'm afraid the news won't be good." She said and sat by her young son's side. Thor stood besides her watching his brother's calm face. He had never been so calm not even in his sleep. He would toss and turn and make all kinds of grimaces while he slept. This serenity in his face was almost frightening.

"Do you think Banner might be right? Could Loki be half human?" He asked her.

"I would love him even more though I know not how he would react." She said caressing Loki's cheek.

"He tried to destroy both his homes… for the only world that he's not biologically connected to." Thor said.

"But we are his home, Thor. Do you remember when we brought him home? You were so little yourself. You tried to carry him around and he was almost at your size. You were so stubborn and we were afraid you were going to drop him but you carried him around all day and put him in your bed at night." She said smiling at the memory.

"He's always been a big baby." Thor said smiling and could almost hear his brother mocking him.

_Finally capable of a good joke? Well done, Thor, well done._

"That woman with the fierce red hair…" she said and Thor nodded.

"Agent Romanoff." He added.

"She must really love him, even if she doesn't realize it." Frigga said.

Thor laughed. "If there could be a woman Loki would tolerate that would be Natasha, mother, believe me. No one else has dared to ever outsmart my brother and she did it like she was taking a walk in the gardens." He said and felt his soul lighten at his mother's smile. He hadn't seen her smile since his crowning day and that had been a crappy day.

"Yes, I suppose your brother was always up for a challenge." She said griping the blond man's hand.

* * *

The messengers did not return until late in the afternoon. The gang had spread all around the tower and Natasha was lurking outside Loki's door. She wanted to get in; she wanted to see him, to make sure he was alright and she wanted to know what was going on. The Queen had left hours ago followed by Thor to contact God knows who and she still hadn't emerged from the room. She stood right in front of the door and looked at it intently like she was casting a spell. With one fast move she pressed the button to open the door. She got in and stopped seeing Thor holding his mother.

"What happened?" Natasha asked him as he ran to his side.

"She had a very intent premonition; I have never seen her like that before." He said trying to lie her down beside Loki.

"Loki…" she murmured.

"Should I get Banner?" she asked him but the Goddess opened her eyes. They both sighed in relief as Natasha brought her a glass of water. The Queen of Asgard sat upright on the bed and took several breaths. She never took her eyes from her young son.

"Are you alright, mother?" Thor asked and she shook her head.

"Your brother… It seems our vault is not as safe as we thought." She said setting eyes upon Natasha.

"What has been stolen?" He asked terrified.

Frigga set aside the glass and took a deep breath.

"One thing at a time; first, Lady Natasha I believe your scientist is right. That woman was my son's biological mother." She sighed and paused for a moment.

"Malekith has always been against Asgard. It seems that he had made a compact with the Jotuns. Before the war was over, the Time Gem was indeed stolen and used by Laufey to conger this world, at this time, not more than thirty years ago. He was covered by Malekith in order to understand this world before his army could attack. A much known fairy tale goes from there; how the princess's curiosity got her in trouble. Laufey was much younger back then and it seems that his passion for the mortal princess was too much to just let go. He tried to make her immortal but something went wrong. I don't know what or how but Laufey stole the child as soon as he was born. The rest is known, a half blood prince could not be of standards to Jotunheim. However I cannot be sure of Laufey's intention's any more." She said.

"Do you think he left Loki in the temple so Father could find him?" Thor asked.

"He didn't kill him." Natasha said.

Frigga sighed and looked down at her young son. He looked so fragile; he always had so unlike Thor. It wasn't strange that the whole family always tried to protect him. Yet they failed to protect him from his biggest enemy; himself.

"The vault has been broken again and this time someone much more powerful stole your father's treasure. Thanos stole the Mind Gem." She said and the sound Thor made had Natasha realize how serious things had gotten.

"How?" Thor asked but didn't wait for an answer. Since the destroyer was destroyed nothing could ever be as safe in the vault.

"It matters not what matters is your brother's condition. Thanos placed a curse upon him. You see just like you, we never meant for Loki's exile on earth to last for ever. The moment he truly regretted his actions and realize what he had done his powers would be returned to him. But he wasn't ready, his mind was clouded, his memory blurred and Thanos was quick. The moment he got back his powers the curse hit him." She said stoically like telling a story of a long lost king.

"What does it do?" Natasha asked.

"He's taken his mind in a far away place, to where I know not. His mind and body are separated and if I know Thanos well he's sure to be torturing him." She said. Her voice was steady but Natasha knew, Natasha felt her cry, her anguish scream.

"We need to find him." Thor said but Frigga stopped him.

"No, Thor, Heimdal sent us a message; Thanos is starting a war. He's sending army to Jotunheim and then he's to march to Midgard. Of course Asgard would be next in line." She said trying to make him understand. Natasha got it. He was using Loki to get Thor out of the game, possibly even the Avengers if the Thunder God was to convince them to his help.

"We can't leave Loki! WE can't abandon him again! I WON'T LOSE MY BROTHER!" he yelled hitting the wall. He marched out to calm down leaving the two women alone.

Frigga caressed her son's hair not shedding tear for what she had suggested. Natasha stood beside her not sure what to do. Her Logic told her to leave and yet something held her there. It couldn't be her heart, she had none.

"It's hard to be a queen, to be expected to sacrifice all you hold dear for your people. It's harder to know what will be done and do nothing." She said.

"Would you sacrifice your child?" Natasha asked her.

"Loss is not used in Asgard. People die in battles but a battle hasn't occurred for so long. It's rare for Asgardians to die out of field and that's unbearable." She said.

"You've lost a son…" Natasha said not sure why.

"Balder.."

"Did you know what was going to happen?" the redhead asked and the queen nodded.

"I did all I could, to keep them apart, to make the nightmares stop but I failed. Destiny has its own ways. Loki loved Balder, he was his younger brother. He tried to help him but he didn't know, he couldn't have known and it's our entire fault." Frigga said.

"There's something I didn't tell Thor about the enchantment I put on Loki. He would only return if he realized what true love is." She said and looked at Natasha making the agent feel uncomfortable.

Love is for children after all.

"He took away your friend, he tried to take your planet and yet you took him in and cared for him. Why?" the queen asked her.

Natasha looked at her for a full minute before answering.

"Because I know what it feels like to be betrayed, to have no home, to feel used and my reaction was not better than his."

_We are the same_

"Once, I was given a second chance and I try to redeem my self ever since. He deserves a second chance…" she said letting her voice trail as she saw the queen smirking.

Her resemblance to Loki was strong for two people with no biological bond.

"What?"

"I don't want to lose my son again and neither do you, am I wrong?" she asked her but Natasha didn't respond.

"There is a way to bring him back but the path is dark and difficult."

"Do you suggest that I…?" Natasha said not believing her ears.

"There's no one else who would succeed, not even Thor. This task needs more than just masculine strength; it needs a sharp mind, one sharper than Loki's." Frigga said.

Natasha looked at the Queen and back at Loki.

Thanos was coming and she couldn't say they were ready.

Loki was strong and he had his magic.

No man could take New York in a single afternoon.

They needed him to defend Earth.

That's what she told herself as she asked the Queen of Asgard about this mission.

* * *

**Poor cursed Loki...so many secrets in his life... could this be the final answer to his origins or did Frigga misunderstood her vision? **

**Will they be able to bring him back? How far is Natasha willing to go to save him? **


	15. Trapped in the darkness

Half of a man

Chapter 15

Trapped in the dark

Natasha stood before the bone-built gate. She memorized every skull, every hand or foot that was used as bars and every skeleton that embraced this dreadful gate.

She was in Hell, literally.

She passed several minutes thinking if it was wise to let Frigga send her there.

She had learned not to trust anybody but there was something in that woman…

She could trust her with her life.

She chuckled at the thought.

_Just like any other of her servants, I guess._

Yep, Frigga had sent her to Hell, to meet Hela, Loki's daughter.

The Queen of the Dead, her future queen, Natasha guessed because there would be only one place for her.

What about Loki? Where would he end up?

If they died in battle they would go to Valhalla according to the Asgardians. Did it stand only for Asgard? If they died in Earth would they be judged according to Heaven and Hell?

It makes one wonder even if they don't believe in God…

She took a step forward ready to knock on the door.

"Who dares disturb my Kingdom?" a terrifying voice, out of the world yelled at her.

"It is Natasha Romanova and I was sent by Queen Frigga of Asgard…" Natasha said tutored by Frigga. The doors opened and she walked down the path of thick ice floating over the river of the dead. She could see their souls wondering in the shadows with no purpose or thought.

She finally reached a great hall made of stone and ice that made her wonder if the girl knew of her father's true origins.

"He's not my father." The same voice said surprising the Russian agent.

"It seems the line runs in the family." Natasha said trying to keep calm.

Slowly a faint light came on the top of the rock revealing a woman sitting on a throne made of bones. She was extremely tall with skin pale like the deads', hair long and black framing her skeleton face. Natasha searched her eyes, they were pale green.

"I know why the Queen of Asgard sent you, you wish to know where Prince Loki is." She said.

"I do." Natasha answered.

"Why should I tell you?" she asked Natasha with a smirk that reminded her of Loki.

"Because if we don't find him, our planet is doomed." Natasha said knowing Hela's answer.

"So much the better for me." The half-dead answered.

"If Loki dies which he will if we don't find him he's coming to you. I am certain you must be very happy to reunite with your father." Natasha said and it was her turn to smirk.

The half dead queen smashed her hand upon her throne and raised her voice once more.

"He's not my Father! He's nothing but another soul to me. A disturbing and arrogant soul but nothing more."

"Something tells me he'll be much pleased to join you here, all those souls; it is a big kingdom, one without a King…" Natasha said looking around.

"Odin gave the Kingdom to me not my father…"

"I thought he was not your father." Natasha said and felt chills down her spine as Hela looked at her with the eyes of death.

Maybe it was time to change tactics.

"_Oh by all the stars and galaxies that shine within your eyes, princess…_" Natasha said making the Queen of death freeze on her throne.

"What did you just say?" another voice said, a normal sweet voice.

"I said your father is in trouble and we need to find him." Natasha said.

"Last time I saw my father he had fallen off Asgard. He had sent me a good deal of new servants." She said, her voice cold and yet somewhat different than before.

Α long silence followed where neither woman talked.

"He's trapped in a time loop inside a slice of the universe. Difficult is your task Lady Romanova but with my help you are most likely to succeed. I offer you one question." The half dead Queen said in her former intimidating voice.

_If you bent her she will offer you one question. Be very careful of your words she is very wicked. She is a true daughter of her father._

"How can I get to where Prince Loki's mind is trapped?" Natasha asked seeing Hela taking a deep breath. She must have chosen the right words.

"To find what he has lost you must first share the one he still has." Hela answered smirking triumphant at her riddle.

"Thank you, your Majesty." Natasha said and bowed to leave.

"Sent my deepest condolences to the Queen and tell her, her son is well." Hela said at Natasha's back.

* * *

Natasha felt her lungs burning as her eyes went wide open. Her heart was beating fast and her whole body was trembling.

Where was she?

What had happened?

She had never experienced anything like this.

"Calm down Lady Romanova, all is well." She heard a smooth voice saying. Her sight was filled by golden hair and a pair of warm blue eyes.

"What… what…" Natasha kept saying trying to identify where she was. Her arm crashed on something soft and cold. She turned her face to be met with a pale face sleeping in complete serenity.

"Loki…" She said as her memories came back. She felt her heart rate decreasing and her body calmed down.

"You did very well; astral projection is very difficult for mortals. You are very brave and very strong, my dear Natasha." Queen said as she helped her to get up.

"It's very tiring, I feel like I could eat a bunch of food and sleep for days." Natasha said.

Did Loki go through all these every time he transported himself?

"Then maybe you should eat and rest, but first we must tell your friends what we have found." Frigga said and escorted Natasha out, leaving the young prince alone for the first time.

* * *

JARVIS informed everyone to gather in the living room. As Natasha exited the elevator followed by Frigga they were met with a very serious Millie.

"Fury just showed up from nowhere. He doesn't look happy." She whispered at her former bodyguard/secretary/super hero/ agent/ spy/ family friend.

With Millie gone they could see the one – eye man standing in the middle of the room looking sternly at his Avengers as they were sprawled all around the room.

"Agent Romanoff, now we may begin. Stark, leave." He said looking at Millie.

"Sorry, are you talking to me?" the young girl said before Tony could open his mouth.

"This is top secret, avengers only." He said.

"Does it have to do with alien invasion?" She asked him mimicking his pose and crossing her arms in front of her. Fury glared at her.

"Then I have every right to stay, I ran Phase two." Mildred said very serious.

"Without me knowing…" Tony added getting a glare from both of them.

"Ms. Stark, this conversation is none of your business, please get out!" Fury yelled at her.

"Hey, don't yell at her!" Tony stepped in the middle.

"I can handle it!" Millie yelled at Tony.

"STOP!" Bruce yelled and everyone froze. They looked at him for a few minutes making sure he wasn't going to transform into a giant monster and then calmed down.

"Look, he's going to tell me anyways so why bother to get me out?" Millie said.

Fury glared at the two Starks and muttered something about insufferable geniuses.

Father and daughter planted themselves on the sofa along with Bruce. Steve sat one the other sofa with Clint while Thor stood near his mother.

"I'll cut to the chase… we're receiving unusual extra terrestrial activity." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"Something big is coming fast towards us. NASA believes it's an asteroid and for the rest of the world we stick with that." He said making his position on the matter clear.

"You think is that Thanos guy?" Tony asked and everyone turned to Thor.

"I'll ask Heimdal." Thor reassured them.

"Whatever it is, it's coming fast. We estimate it will be able to pass our atmosphere in three or four weeks." Fury said.

Everybody froze. Clint cursed, Bruce gripped the armchair, Steve got up and Tony tightened his grip on Mildred.

"We… we are not ready." She whispered at him. Tony hugged her fully and kissed her head.

"You can never be ready enough, Hugster. But that's the fun; everything turns out well in the end." He said.

"How?"

"I don't know, it's a mystery." He replied making her smile.

"Do not lose hope me fellow avengers. Lady Millie has worked hard on our defense and we will be more than ready for what comes. The whole universe is at stake." Thor said and suddenly all eyes fell on Natasha.

"Loki must know the attack plan, he had told you about it." Fury said and Natasha nodded.

"Yes sir, uhm, I gathered everyone here to talk about Loki." Natasha said and looked at Frigga. She was deep in thought. Everyone waited for the Russian spy to speak.

"We know what has happened to him." She said and looked at the Queen to explain. Frigga took a step forward like she was about to make a big announcement.

"Loki has been cursed. His body and mind are no longer one. He's dying slowly and painfully but what is more important is that with his body hollow it would be easy for someone to take possession of it." She said knowing exactly what would catch Fury's attention.

She was right; everyone seemed shocked. The last thing they wanted was someone of their foes, one more powerful than Loki perhaps to take possession of that powerful body.

"What do we do?" Bruce asked.

"My brother can and will be a great aid for us in this war." Thor said trying to convince the director that Loki was worth saving.

Fury remained silent.

"Do you know how to bring him back?" Steve asked them and Natasha nodded. Director Fury looked at her curious.

"I met someone and she gave me a riddle. To find what he has lost you first need to share what he's left." She said troubling everyone.

"Share his body?' Millie said surprising them.

That was a very simple explanation. Could it be so simple? Surely he had lost his mind a while ago but was the body the only answer? What had Loki left beside flesh and bones?

His mother and his brother.

His books

His art

His magic

"It is not as simple." Frigga said turning all attention on her. "One has to connect to the body in order to find the mind, yes, but to convince the mind to return… One needs to know him very well, to be able to beat him, outsmart him and most of all… survive the darkness of Loki's mind." Frigga said frightening Natasha.

Natasha was never frightened but at the mention of that last line...

She had a feeling Loki's mind would be worse than Hel, and she had already been there.

"It sounds like a death mission." Steve said. Natasha could feel Clint looking at her. Ever since they had gathered at the tower she was avoiding him. His suspicion and hatred towards Loki were making him act weird.

"Why save him? If he's a threat then take him back to Asgard." Clint said and no one saw Mjolnir pinning him down on the floor.

"You should watch your mouth when you talk about my brother!" he yelled.

"Thor!" Frigga glared at him and Mjolnir went back to his hand in an instant.

"I have two questions." Fury said pacing around. "Is there a person to accomplish such a task and if Loki does return will he be on our side?' he added.

"Would he even remember who he is?" Millie added earning a nod of acknowledgement by Fury.

Silence fell in the room as everyone seemed to be deep in thought.

"I believe he is a good guy, he would help us." Millie said.

"I agree. His behaviour during this few weeks showed me he can be trusted." Natasha said. Fury looked at the two women and scratched his jaw.

"I have a bad feeling for the next answer." Tony said looking at his Russian friend.

"There's no one else. I have manipulated him before, outsmarted him and during his staying with me I got to know him quite well. If there's anyone who could accomplish such a mission that would be me." Natasha said and before anyone knew it Clint was on his feet.

"No! Are you crazy?" he said. Getting a blank look from her he retreated, disappearing in the elevator.

"We will discuss this tomorrow." Fury said and left.


	16. Lost

Half of a man

Chapter 16

Lost

He was lost.

Again

He saw only darkness, shadows. His lungs were burning and he was falling, again.

He saw flashes of people drowned in blood, he heard screams pleading for mercy; he heard his own scream.

When he wasn't falling he was running. He wanted to stop but he had to keep running. He ran in a labyrinth, round and round until he was lost, until he was trapped and then he fell again.

At some point he thought he saw his young self glancing at him with pity. He could hear children laughing happily for a moment and then screams were feeling his ears.

_I'm not your brother!_

Right now he was standing in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing he could touch, nowhere to sit, nothing to recognize. He was floating in the void.

_Hang on Loki, I'm coming_

He had heard that voice quite a few times. It was soothing, comforting even if he couldn't recognize. But could he recognize anything?

Who was he if not the void it self?

So there he was, a complete nothing holding on those few words to help him be.

* * *

Natasha woke up in a dark place. She could see nothing. Even the ground beneath her feet felt like it didn't exist. She had done it; she was inside Loki's mind.

The moment she had left the living room she had returned to Loki. She couldn't shake the thought he was calling her. She knew it was guilt; after all it was her fault he was lying like that helplessly.

"Hang on Loki, I'm coming." She had said holding his hand. She had traced the scars on his body, the signs of his torture. She had felt her eyes grow heavy and before she could fight it she had fallen asleep on top of his lying figure.

That's how she had gotten herself there. She didn't actually know how she had done it but she figured Loki had something to do with it.

So where was he?

She tried to walk but she found it difficult. It was as if she was standing on jell-oh.

"Loki!" she gave it a try. With long and strong jumps she moved a few feet.

"Are you hiding?" she tried to piss him off but to no avail. She tried to move again but she got tired very quickly.

"You shouldn't struggle so much." She heard a boy saying. She turned around to be met with a young boy. He was tall for his age, his skin pale and his hair black as the night.

Could he be …?

"Who are you?" she asked him but he didn't answer. His green eyes wondered all around and fell back on her.

"You shouldn't be here." He told her.

"Loki?" she said but the boy walked away and disappeared.

_Stupid, depressed piece of a god. _

She thought and the ground went wild, like a stormy sea.

"Ok, ok, you are not stupid!" she yelled and everything calmed down.

Before she could take a breath, a scream pierced her ears and the ground disappeared. She kept falling for more than she could register. She could see nothing but darkness. At some point she didn't feel like falling but like floating in the void.

"You shouldn't be here." The boy said again but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Why?" she asked.

_Because he's coming, he's here…_

A voice said inside her head.

_Who's here?_

"The Monster! The monster!" a hundred voices screamed.

"Loki…"

_Here_

The boy whispered as she touched the ground again harshly. She stood up as the darkness was withdrawing for the fog to take its place. It was a thick fog but she could feel the sun finding its way to her.

"Come…" the boy laughed and she saw his form vanishing in the fog. She took a few steps looking around. She could feel the moisture ground under her feet and tall trees were trying to stand through the fog.

"Where are you?" another child's voice.

_Come out; come out, wherever you are… _She froze. She knew that voice and it hadn't come from Loki's mind.

It had come from her.

"Little Czarina…" Now the voice was next to her ear. She couldn't move. She wanted to run, to fight, to empty her pistol on him but…

She felt his hand lingering on her form. It went from all the way to her back and shoulder.

_LEAVE ME! _

Darkness again … and solitude. How grateful she was…

_It's all a matter of mind. It's a matter of mind._

She kept repeating. She took a deep breath and tried to focus.

_Loki, I need to find Loki…_ She imagined of him, his slender form and his green eyes.

The image of him on that first night she had found him came on her mind.

He looked so vulnerable, so weak

"I'm not weak!" A strange voice yelled at her. She raised her head and saw a green cape disappearing. The form was slightly shorter than Loki.

"He's short tempered." The boy appeared on her side.

"Really? I thought Thor had that privilege." She answered at the small boy.

"Thor…" he said looking lost.

Natasha took a good look at the young Loki. He was sweet, cute, so innocent and yet she could see the gears spinning in his head, his eyes smart eyes sparkling.

"Thank you." He said smiling at her.

"I'm here to help you." She told him. Little Loki looked at her.

"I don't need you to help me… I need you to save me." He said with pleading eyes. "Do you think I can be saved?" he asked her.

"I'll save you." She promised him.

"Save me, Natasha." He said before he was taken away by an invisible force.

"You can save no one." He told her. He was there, just an inch from her face.

So he had decided to show himself.

"Spare me…" she said not backing down. He bended down, letting their foreheads touch.

"You mean to save me but you are no better than me. You are so broken, haunted by your nightmares, your victims, your guilds. You hold fears so deep inside, you think they can't hurt you but they grow, they become demons that eat you up until there's nothing left!" he said screaming the last word.

Suddenly a girl appeared bitten by a grown man. She stiffened but didn't let herself be drowned into her own memories.

"Then save me for a change." She dared him and he made two steps back looking at her with eyes wide open.

"You are not weak, you are not stupid, you don't need saving. Care to see who can win this game?" she said. Loki looked at her cocking his eyebrow. She was that voice that comforted him. She was not real, she was another illusion.

A pleasurable illusion…

"A game to see who's the most damaged one? Who cannot be saved?" Loki said but she shook her head.

"Who can save the less damaged one." She smirked. Loki eyed her suspiciously but took a step forward none the less.

"Deal." He said and gave her his hand. She grabbed it and saw a rainbow of lights flashing before her eyes.

* * *

They were in a beautiful garden. Tall trees were all over and beautiful flowers were flourishing; on the background stood a huge golden building that resembled a church organ.

A young boy she recognized as little Loki came running. He looked happy. A blond boy, she assumed was Thor followed him.

"I'll catch you." Thor said.

"I don't think so." Loki said looking back at him. Before he could finish his phrase he stumbled on someone falling back.

"Are you blind?" a girl yelled at him.

"Sif!" the little boy said blushing slightly.

"You fell on the lady, Loki? You shouldn't hurt a lady." Another blond boy said followed suit by Thor and another black haired boy.

"I'm not hurt and I'm not a Lady! I could beat him anytime!" The girl named Sif said. Natasha recognized the name as the girl Thor had told her Loki had had a crush on.

"He can't keep his mouth shut." Grown up Loki said.

"That's a challenge!" young Thor said. "Come on Loki; show her what a prince can do!" Thor said. Loki looked at his brother petrified.

"That's how I found out the taste of betrayal." Loki said as he saw the young boy getting bitten by Sif and humiliated by his friends.

"How can you be King if you can't beat Sif, brother?" Thor said leaving poor little Loki on his knees holding his stomach.

Natasha looked at Loki. His face was blank. She had seen the fight; he hadn't even tried to make a hit. He hadn't wanted to hit her.

"He mocked me, he always did but that time I understood I will always be alone." He said looking at the little boy. Natasha looked at him not sure how to feel. Then she noticed something. A few blond strands popping out behind a bush. She nagged Loki and pointed his look at the bush. The young prince frowned at Thor who revealed himself walking towards his younger self holding something in his hands.

Loki hissed before the stone reached his skin. Natasha looked at him confused.

"Frost Giants don't get along with fire. That's why I passed out." Loki said bitter as Natasha saw the blond boy crashing the hot stone over his young brother.

"He tried to help you. He didn't know…" Natasha said but he didn't react.

The scheme changed in a dread environment that haunted her memories.

The Red Room

How the hell did that bastard know about this place?

Oh, right, she was inside his mind.

She knew he was smirking, she could see him with the side of her eye.

"So, let's see your damage." He said crossing his arms.

* * *

Natasha looked at the corridor as a small girl, around the age of seven walked pass them and through a door. They followed her inside the room.

They were in the library. Natasha spotted herself on an armchair.

Suddenly she realized where he had brought her. Or had she brought them here?

She wasn't sure anymore.

Loki walked near her young self and kneeled to take a better look at her. She had short, curly hair in a gushing red and her eyes were already cold blue. She wore a skirt and a shirt, looking like a doll. That's what the Room demanded.

Another girl entered the room and Natasha recognized her immediately.

Kristina

She had long brown hair and she was a couple of years older than her. She fancied being better than Natasha and letting no chance pass by to bully everyone. Of course Natasha hadn't cared; she had known that if Kristina dared to touch her she could do more than defend herself.

That day had been that day.

Kristina walked to her and stood right in front of her. Loki who was on her young self's side stood up and looked at the strange girl with amusement. He could only imagine what was to come.

"Romanova, that book is mine." Kristina said.

"I didn't see your name written on the front." Natasha answered without raising her head.

Kristina laughed and snatched the book from her hands tossing it aside.

Natasha looked at her but didn't react.

"Get up from my chair." She said but Natasha just stared at her.

"What happened, did the cat eat your tongue?" she said. Little Natasha smirked and gripped the arms of the armchair.

"Make me…" Natasha said and Kristina made the worst mistake of her life.

One that cost her life

She grabbed Natasha's leg and pulled her off. Little Natasha span around and grabbed her neck with her legs. In a smooth move she snapped Kristina's neck in an unnatural angle and let her lifeless body fell on the floor. After that she took her book and returned to her seat like nothing had happened.

She had been ten and that had been her first murder.

Loki walked towards her as the guards were taking Kristina's body away.

"She had it coming." He said amused but Natasha didn't answer.

"I was a beast back then, nothing you didn't know." She finally said.

"A monster…" he said "But you weren't always like that, they made you." He said and the scenery changed into a blurred one.

"Where are we?" She asked him.

"It was the clearer memory I could find. We are at your home." He said. She could barely make out the trees and the small house but there was a pleasant feeling in her. She heard children laughing; she saw a few shadows running around.

"_Come, come little Babushka, it's time for dinner."_ She heard a woman saying. She didn't quite remember that voice but it made her feel so good and safe.

"Is that… is that my mother?" she whispered desperately wanting to clear the memory. But that was impossible; the Red Room had erased everything. It was a miracle Loki had found this one.

"You see you were born human and what you really are you can be again. I on the other hand was born a monster." Loki said.

Natasha looked at him. He looked so lost. He didn't know…

On the other hand what did she know? Almost nothing.

She grabbed his hand and tried to focus. If he could get her wherever he wanted she could do it too.

* * *

They traveled to a hospital room. Loki was laid on a bed, bandaged with an oxygen mask on. Next to him was an old lady, she recognized as Nancy Guttenberg. She had grabbed his hand and was murmuring something. She looked at Loki next to her, he had frozen.

"What?" she asked him.

"She's saying an ancient prayer." He said.

"Well, I should tell you she's a Norwegian princess." She said.

His eyes went wide open as he looked at her.

"She's saying an ancient prayer in All-tongue, that's the language we speak on Asgard." He said now shocking Natasha too.

"Please, please wake up my son, wake up. I gave you life once and you've come back to me to give you life again." She said and kept on with her prayer; slowly but steadily she started to glow and after a few seconds her glow transferred to Loki's body.

"What's going on?" she asked him.

"She's giving me her life energy. That's how I got better; she was feeding me off her energy." He said shocked and then realized the woman's previous words.

"Odin never told me who my real mother was." He said and looked at Natasha.

Her face betrayed her and he grabbed her arm.

"Tell me, woman, you know!" he said. Natasha looked back at him and got him to the memory Frigga tells them the truth.

"I… I don't understand. I'm a monster, I can't be half human." He said before he snapped again.

"Of course I would be half human, that's why I'm so small for a Giant, that's why Laufey threw me away…"

"But he loved her, Loki, why would he take her to Jotunheim?" Natasha tried to tell him.

"They did not love me!" Loki said and the scheme around them starting changing rapidly. From a land full of light to a land full of ice, in front of a throne, into a battle, a throne again, a palace, a chamber, it kept spinning and spinning.

"Loki!" she yelled at him and it stopped. They were on a bridge now. A colorful bridge, broken. They were standing next to an old man, Odin, who held Thor with his spear and Thor held Loki's hand.

"I could have done it father, for you, for all of us." Loki said.

Natasha felt Loki on her side stiffening. He closed his eyes and tightened his fists.

"No, Loki." And he fell into space.

Now Natasha knew what it meant to fall and they left without a second word.

* * *

Loki looked around confused. They were inside some kind of temple if he could guess. What did the Black Widow want in a place like that?

"This is the day I got married." She said reading his thoughts. Loki looked at her shocked and then back at the alley. There were not many people just a few close… comrades? Everyone but the bride and the priest wore a uniform. He could see young Natasha standing side by side with a handsome young man, the groom.

Suddenly he felt unwell. He didn't know why but he had the urge to snatch the young man and beat him to death.

Natasha smirked and then resumed her blank expression.

"I thought love was for children." Loki mocked her.

"I was practically a child back then, barely seventeen. I don't know if it was love but back then it felt like it. Our superiors encouraged us to marry, Alexei was a military pilot." She said and crossed her arms. "Now that I think about it and what happened next… it was all a well played act." She said and the scheme changed.

Young Natasha stood in an empty room alone. Her expression was blank and she looked straight to the void. Loki approached her. There was a file on the table in front of her and a piece of paper laid across her.

_Killed on duty_

"He died on duty." Loki said but she shook her head.

"No, he didn't. It was a trick to compromise me." Natasha said and they transferred in a foreign room. Loki saw Natasha running after someone.

They fought fiercely, body and weapons alike. She looked exactly as she was now, next to him. The Black Widow no doubt.

"Mama Russia sends her love." She said and put a bullet between his eyes.

The Black Widow left and they stood alone over Alexei's dead body.

'You killed him." Loki said.

"He betrayed me, he tried to use me. I was just a pawn in his plan." She said. "I'm no one's pawn." she added. Loki looked at her.

He knew that look, he knew that feeling. They were so alike. He had known it, he had told her before but he had never imagined. Yes, Barton had told him but he hadn't known everything. She hadn't told him everything but she had shown him.

She had come to save him…

Why? Why had she come? How did she manage to get inside his head?

"I don't know." Natasha answered him as they found themselves in the void again. Loki looked at her confused. She adapted rather quickly.

"I… I just wanted to find you. I lied next to you and felt sleepy. Next think I know I'm inside your dark mind." She explained. Loki scanned her. For the first time in the time he knew her she looked nervous.

"Why did you want to find me?" He asked her and she fidgeted. Now he became really curious.

"Don't tell me you wanted to wipe the red in your ledger?" He teased her but he stopped at her glare.

"No" she answered. She couldn't think, he would hear her thoughts.

"Your friends are coming in earth and we thought that maybe you could help." She finally said.

"I don't think that was the only reason." He said and she bit her lip. She let her mind fly to that night. They saw themselves reenacting that scene in front of them.

"Guilt?" He assumed.

"I don't know." She repeated. Loki looked at her confused. "I really don't know." She sighed. Loki looked around and let it go.

She didn't have to say anything, he knew.

With a blink of his eyes the void was filled with stars and galaxies. Natasha let her jaw drop.

"This is… marvelous." She said and twirled around.

"Yes it is" Loki said smiling sadly. Natasha jumped around trying to catch the stars.

"Only a memory I'm afraid." He said. Natasha shrugged and walked towards him.

"They're light years away, anyway." She said. "Why are we here?" she asked him. He stiffened and looked away. Her eyes grew wide with realization.

"This is your fall." She said and looked around. She could feel all his emotions. She felt sadness and fear.

"I don't know for how long I had been falling. When you're in the void you can feel nothing. I was only accompanied by my ghosts, my rage and my fears." He said pacing around the stars.

"What happened?" she asked him as ground appeared under the ground.

"I was already half mad I guess. It didn't take much effort." He said.

"For what?" she asked him.

"To be compromised." He said turning around.

The stars changed and the rocky environment of the asteroid appeared.

Loki woke up. He didn't know where he was or if he was at all. A couple of weird creatures got him up. They were disgusting, sure demons of Hela. That girl never had imagination.

"Loki Odinson…" someone said and Loki laughed.

"You need better information." He said looking at the creature. "It's Laufeyson." Loki corrected him.

"Loki Laufeyson, fallen King of Asgard." He said testing his temper.

"What do you want? Why am I here? Where's Hela?" He demanded.

"You are in no position to give orders, Frost giant! You are not in your daughter's kingdom, you're in ours."

"I'm alive." He realized. "Why did you save me?" he asked. He was not happy.

"Our master thinks you can be useful, as for why I do not know."

"Who's your master? Who are you? I don't speak with pawns such as you." He said.

"You may call me the Other. We are the Cintaury and your master is none of your concern." The Other said.

"I'm the rightful king of Asgard, of Jotunheim; I speak with no inferior creatures like the Cintaury!" Loki yelled.

"You seem to have nothing; you are completely alone; your brother isn't here to save you…" He said. Loki's rage crossed the limit. With a smooth move all of the Cintaury were slaughtered. More came to him but ended up just like their brothers.

"Good job, Frost Giant." A menacing, deep voice was heard. Loki stopped and looked forward. There was a huge purple creature, not as tall as Frost Giants but twice as intimidating.

"I guess you're the master." Loki said straightening.

"I'm Thanos the Titan." He said.

"Your minion told me you think me useful. I demand to know why?" Loki said.

"I've been watching you for quite some time, Laufeyson. Your mind and magic are sharp, if you had the size of a true Frost giant you would be a fearful king among the Nine Realms." He said.

"I am a king!"

"A King without a kingdom is like a sun with no light." Thanos said. Loki didn't reply.

"But unlike your people, your father and Odin, I know your true potential. You can be a great King and I wish to help you." The Titan said. Loki looked at him with suspicion.

"How do you think you can help me?" He asked him.

"I can give you an endless army and a King's spear to rule your brother's favourite realm." He said.

"Midgard" Loki said interested. "What do you win of this bargain?" Loki asked him.

"I want you to bring me the cube known as the Tesseract." Thanos said.

"What do you need it for?" Loki asked him. The titan hesitated but answered him.

"I think you have the potential to be of great help, Loki Laufeyson. I intent to rule all the nine realms and give them to Lady Death." He said shocking the young prince.

"You mean to kill everybody…" Loki said.

"Not everybody, if you succeed, I will let you leave and rule what rightfully belongs to you. Midgard, Asgard and Jotunheim; you will see Odin kneeling before you and Thor gone, serving Death for eternity." Thanos said and Loki's grin grew bigger in every word.

"Take it, it's yours." Thanos said as a Cintaury gave him the scepter.

"Your eyes… they are blue." Natasha said. Loki made the scene disappear.

"As I said I was compromised. An angry mind is a weak mind and I let him play with mine. I'm sure you understand." He said facing away from her.

Yes, she understood. The Red Room had been playing with her mind for as long as she could remember.

"So, all those things you did, it wasn't really you."

"No! It was me. I took pleasure at what I did; all the scepter was doing was to vanish all hesitation and moral bonds I might had. It brought the monster out, it fed my hatred." He said shaking with anger.

He was weak. They had been right he was weak.

"So, what happened after you failed?" Natasha asked him.

"I covered my self. I am a powerful sorcerer. Thanos wouldn't find me in Asgard and no matter what Odin had planned for me it would be nothing towards Thanos." Loki said looking around.

"Yet, I failed again." He said. Natasha looked away. It had been her fault.

"You didn't even know I existed when this happened; it's no one's fault. My mother only wished to protect me, to spare me a life of pain and give me a chance on a good life. But I'm a monster; faith had nothing good to give me the night I was born." Loki said.

"Do you… do you remember everything?" she asked him.

"No, my memory is still blocked; only major events have come to me. Healing takes time." He said and she nodded. Sometimes it took so much time the wound was never healed.

"What you really wish to ask is if I remember the last few weeks I spent with you?" He said facing her. Natasha didn't look at him.

"As I said you were born human and in the end you can be one. You have friends you can call family, who love you and forgive you. You can change, I don't have that luxury. I have no family, or home, or friends. There's nothing for me out there but pain and death, that's why I'm grateful to you Agent Romanoff." He said. Natasha looked at him trying to hold her tears. She knew where he was getting and she didn't like it.

"Why?"

"You gave me a glimpse of a good life before my death. It's ironic but I guess I thank you." He said.

"You can't just give up!" she yelled before she knew it. Loki looked at her confused.

"You are Loki of Asgard, a glorious prick of a prince with an ego to match Tony Stark's and arrogance bigger than Eiffel tower. You can't just give up!" she yelled but he didn't respond.

"Say something! Say you'll rule the world, you'll kill Clint, you'll burn Earth to ashes. Call me a mewling quim, threaten me; say something!" she yelled again but Loki was frozen.

"I can't let you do this, do you understand? I won't let you get off that easily. You will die but by my hand, slowly, intimately, in every way you fear." She threatened him just an inch from his face.

And then, before she could register it.

He kissed her.

His lips were cold and oh, so soft. She buried her hands in his raven black locks and let herself deepen the kiss.

_What am I doing? This is all wrong! I should break it, now! Oh, why don't I break it?_

_This is your subconscious mind, Agent Romanoff, and it follows no body's orders_

Loki said not leaving her mouth.

Right they were inside his mind; a dark, dangerous place of no sanity… no remorse… or moral.

His hands roamed all around her body until he broke the kiss to look at her. She felt her heart melting at his look. Without breaking contact he brought his hand to her chest taking hold of the zipper of her jumpsuit. Natasha looked down, surprised to find herself in her shield uniform.

"Ehehe, admit it darling, you're too much of a deathly spider and I can't have you any other way." He said unzipping her uniform. Natasha launched forward and sucked at his bit his neck with no warning.

"Let's see if a puny God can survive a spider's bite." She said before he could trap her underneath his body and bury her with his kisses.

* * *

"Will you remember any of this when you wake up?" she asked him sprawled on top of him. She didn't know why but her subconscious mind felt overly excited and particularly not deathly. She felt nice here; in his arms after… after whatever tortures they had concocted this felt as a balm.

She felt Loki stroking her hair as he watched the stars and galaxies above them. Natasha turned around and attached herself to his side in order to watch the sky too. It was so beautiful; the two of them, naked and vulnerable like the day they had been born, in the middle of the galaxy, of the essence of life.

"No, but the bet will be still standing." He said and he kissed her.

Then everything went black.

* * *

**Owo, Loki's mind... **

**well it seems they both have their share of damage**

**So, what is going to happen now that Loki is willing to wake up? Will he turn back to his older self or has this changed him forever?**

**Only one is for certain; it's going to be one heck of a waking**

**Oh, and million thanks to you guys following and special gazillion thanks to Angelpaint07 who spares a minute to review this and boost my writing ego!**


	17. The return of the fallen King

Half of a man

Chapter 18

The return of the fallen King

"What the fuck is going on? What the fuck happened to her?" Clint yelled making his way through the group.

"She must have fallen asleep." Bruce said.

"I can see that! Why has she fallen asleep here? On top of Him! Has this something to do with what you were telling us earlier? Has he harmed her?" Clint yelled.

"Gather your thoughts, love bird; the man is in a comma." Tony said.

"She's waking up!" Steve said.

Natasha began to stir and her eyes flattered open. She sensed people around her and jumped up, knocking Tony out as he stood near the bed.

"Ouch! Are you crazy Romanoff?" he yelled holding his bleeding nose. Everyone but Clint hid their laughter getting angry looks by the billionaire.

"You shouldn't stick your nose where it doesn't belong." She said calming down. She scanned the room finding it full of her companions. Millie and Frigga were just getting in.

"What the hell happened Tasha? One moment you're in the living room and the next I find you sleeping in the arms of that monster!" Clint said and before he knew it he was up in the air.

"Watch your tongue when you are referring to a prince of Asgard!" Thor yelled.

"Control your temper my son, the archer can have a mind of his own." Frigga said and Clint winced. Well played Queen of Asgard, her words stung no less than that of her adopted son.

"How long was I out?" Natasha asked them.

"No more than ten minutes." Steve answered.

"Only ten minutes? It felt like a life time." She said finding the chair next to the bed.

"You were with him, weren't you? In there…" Millie said holding a tissue to Tony's nose.

Natasha nodded and looked at Loki. Why was he still like that? He should have woken up.

"Did he follow you?" Frigga asked her.

"He said he would." Natasha replied.

"He needs to find his way now. Your mission has been accomplished." Frigga said and sat next to her son, caressing his hair.

"Come on, let's go." Millie said escorting Tony out. The rest followed them. Natasha took one last look at Loki and left for her room. She was really tired.

She stripped and got in the shower, letting cold water run on her. That was what Loki would be doing.

_Is this love agent Romanoff?_

_Love is for children_

She walked out and fell on her bed.

What was it? What had she just experienced?

She had just, subconsciously, put her mind in danger diving into the dark paths of the psycho villain that had tried to conquer earth several years ago.

They had slept together… and it had felt like heaven.

So what was it? Why had she done it?

Was it guilt for Thomas?

Was it understanding for all that Loki had been put through?

Was it instinct? Like when Clint had spared her because he knew she could be good?

But she wasn't good, was she? Not even close…

_I've got red on my ledger; I'd like to wipe it out._

She knew she would spend the rest of her days trying.

Could it be that? A chance at redemption? They were alike after all…

Had she slept with him for redemption?

Natasha bolted up from her bed and started pacing.

No, she hadn't; It was more than that.

She thought about the passed weeks. What she had found out about him, what she had experienced…

Son of a bitch! If she finally realized that it was all a perfectly calculated plan to get at her because she had beaten him, his days would be over.

Because there was no way that she, Natasha Romanova, the Black Widow would fell…

"Tasha can I come in?" Clint interrupted her thoughts.

"Wait a moment." She said as she put on a t- shirt and a pair of shorts. She took a deep breath before letting the door open. She knew what awaited her.

"Were you sleeping? I can pass by later…" he said but she shook her head.

"No need, Clint, come in. I was going to sleep but I chased sleep away on my own." Natasha said as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"You can't shut off, can you?" he said rather serious as he stood at the corner of the room, his corner.

"It's not in my hand." She said taking a deep breath. She knew why he had come; she felt it in the air that he was struggling not to scream at her.

"What happened in there, Nat?" He asked her in his professional mode. His blue eyes were targeting her, his facial expression blank. Maybe it was better that way, at least they wouldn't scream at each other.

"I really don't know Clint. I fell asleep and the next thing I knew I was inside Loki's mind." She said.

"I thought he had lost it." he joked in a very serious tone.

"Well, it's a really dark place I'd rather not to go again." She said and got up. The tension was too much to just sit down.

"Are you sure he had nothing to do with it? That he didn't pull you in? How can we know for sure he's not faking everything?" Clint asked her letting his rage show just a bit. Clint and Tony had not let New York behind them. No one had really but they were those who had a really bad time dealing with it.

Tony had a family to help him forget but he was a general nut case.

Clint had tried really hard. He had been meeting a psychologist since then but she knew he still had nightmares about the whole thing. He had been violated after all.

Violated by a violated; it was almost surreal.

"I can't tell you I haven't thought about it, too, Clint. I keep asking my self why? But then I remember how he acted those passed few weeks, I remember the report and all I have find out…"

"What have you found out?" Clint asked her. She looked at him frozen and bit her lip. She wasn't supposed to let secrets slip from her, not even near death. She wanted to tell him. She needed help now more than anything but it wasn't her story to tell.

"I can't tell you, not until this is over."

"Have you taken a liking at him?" Clint asked her and her eyes went wide.

"What are you suggesting?" she growled at him.

"Nothing that you haven't been considering." He said and detached his body from the wall to walk towards her.

"Natasha, I have not, not even once hidden that I love you. I know you love me and I have accepted the fact that our loves are not of the same kind but that man… cannot be trusted. I see how you look at him, how you crave to save him. I suppose I could persuade my self that you want to give him a second chance, that you feel like you understand him because of his past but I cannot be blind. Please Natasha, don't let your guard down easily; don't let him compromise you." Clint said touching her shoulders.

Natasha looked at him. She was used from honest talks like that from Clint. They were rear, saved for times they were near death. Anyone who knew him would not believe his eyes. He felt really threatened.

She touched his hands on her shoulders letting him touch her for a little longer.

"Don't be afraid, Clint, everything is going to be al right. We have an alien threat coming to us and I don't plan on running away with prince charming any time soon." She said and she froze as she realized what she had just said. Clint patted her shoulder and left, letting her think on her own words.

She went to bed holding on those thoughts until sleep claimed her.

And thus their days were passing by. The tower was now fully occupied. Even agent Hill seemed to be a constant in their lives. Phase two had to finish as soon as possible. The data from the satellites were getting worse by each day. They needn't worry for the time being but when they would, it would be too late. Thor was filling them in about this new alien threat and Frigga was teaching Millie and Bruce about the healing tactics of Asgard. No one could imagine the day the young prince would wake up.

That happened one week after Natasha's incident. They were all in the living room drinking coffee after a hard day. Tony was with Bruce discussing something about the tree shaped universe; Thor was with Clint and Steve playing Heptathlon on Wii while Natasha and Millie sat on the couch listening eagerly at Frigga's stories.

"And so Loki tricked Thor into wearing a gown. I can't complain but if I ever had a daughter I'd rather she had no facial hair." The queen said raising laughter among the group.

"Mother, you are embarrassing me." Thor said averting his attention from the game.

"Sir, I've spotted abnormal activity within the tower." JARVIS said.

"You turned off Alfred?" Millie yelled at Tony but he didn't pay her attention.

"Don't tell me it's Reindeer Games." Tony said already walking towards the elevator. A heavy blow was heard before he could reach it. Everyone got up waiting for another blow before running up the stairs.

They reached Loki's floor and froze. The door had been blown away, all kinds of weird colours were coming out of the room and one very crazy and maniac god of Mischief could be heard screaming.

"You better go back. Bruce, take her downstairs. Ma'am, you should probably stay down too." Tony said as the elevator doors opened revealing a Mark suit. Tony and Thor walked to the room followed carefully by Steve, Clint and Natasha while Bruce tried to move Millie and Frigga away.

Thor was the first to get in. The room was a mess. The bed had disintegrated, the monitors had been deformed looking like melted ice – creams, the windows had been broken and the walls were full of holes. Loki was standing in the middle screaming and swearing in an incoherent language. He was tearing his clothes apart kicking the floor, throwing daggers and energy balls at the walls. His skin was wavering between blue and white, his eyes shining, his hands changing between normal hands and frozen blades.

He was out of control.

"His aura keeps changing, that's a bad thing." Thor said attracting one of Loki's assaults.

"We need to calm him down before he destroys my tower, again!" Tony said raising his repulsor.

"You'll only get it worse." Steve said.

Thor took a step further in avoiding a flying dagger.

"Loki! Calm down, brother, we do not wish to harm you." He said.

"You are not my brother!" Loki said in a deep, outlandish voice that reminded Natasha of Hela's voice.

"Come to your senses, Loki." Thor tried again.

"It hurts, it hurts…" Loki now whimpered in a child's voice. Everyone froze; Steve crossed himself and said a small prayer.

"What hurts? Tell me brother…" Thor asked him again trying to grab him but with a swing of his hand Loki threw him against the wall. Tony tried to help but he was met with an energy ball and flew against the wall at the corridor. The remaining three Avengers entered the room trying to sustain Loki. Steve was glued to the floor by ice and Clint was slapped away.

"Loki, you need to calm down. Remember where you are." She tried but a piece of metal came flying across her.

"You better leave Lady Natasha; it's far too dangerous…" Thor said spinning Mjolnir.

"Do you think hitting him will help?" Natasha asked him as they were assaulted by snowflakes.

"Sleeping might." The Norse god replied.

"Natalie, please… my head, my chest…" Loki pleaded in his normal voice. A scream followed suit making the snowflakes burn away. He fell on the floor as an icy web started filling the room. Suddenly Loki was knocked backed stopping the ice.

"I only like ice with whisky." Tony said.

"I am your rightful King you fowl creatures!" Loki yelled in a deeper and far more devilish voice than before as his eyes turned red, his tribal marks were shining over both Asgardian and Jotun parts of his ever changing body.

The temperature fell as ice began growing again and Jotun winds swap everyone off their feet.

"You will obey me." Loki yelled in an even scarier voice readying an energy ball in his fist.

"Thomas, stop!" a voice was heard from the door. The wind ceased and the Avengers fell on the floor. Loki remained steel yet in ecstasy as Millie stepped in side followed by Frigga.

"Please, come with me, Tom." She said giving him her hand. His eyes returned to normal as his look changed between Millie and Frigga.

"Mother…" he whispered as the Jotun blue left his skin and he collapsed before them.

Frigga and Millie grabbed him and took him away not letting anyone follow.

They took him to Millie's bedroom and laid him on the bed. The young prince was sweating and whispering words only Frigga could understand.

"He looks feverish. I'll go get some water and a cloth to put on his head." Millie said.

"You do not need to do that, young Lady. My son's problem is of magical source." Frigga said touching Loki's forehead letting a golden glow cover his body. Millie went silent until the Queen of Asgard was done. Not long after that Loki's eyes fluttered open. He looked around scared. His hands stayed glued on his sides. He was afraid to move.

"It's ok now, you can move." Millie told him and he turned his head with eyes wide open as if he was seeing her for the first time. He sat upright on the bed and looked at the two women.

"I… I…" he didn't know what to say. He was so confused; everything was a mess inside his head. Irrelevant pictures were flashing in his thoughts, strange voices were calling to him and for a few moments he had felt as if he was going to explode.

He looked at the young girl smiling at him. He knew her. He felt good with her, safe even.

Millie, that was her name, yes. She was Millie and she was his friend.

He looked at the older woman. Her face was familiar but he couldn't quite place it. He felt a strange warm feeling beside her, like she was going to right everything that was wrong in his life.

"How do you feel, Loki?" she asked him.

He felt strange hearing that name. He knew it; he knew it all too well and now he knew why. It was his name; that hideous word that bared every evil in the universe, which was connected with crimes beyond measure.

The name that frightened Natalie

But she wasn't really Natalie, was she? What was her name? She had told him but he couldn't remember. Suddenly her voice was in his head.

_I can't do this…_

_You look delicious…_

_Love is for children…_

_You're a monster…_

_Pretty green eyes…_

He grabbed his head. He had a headache. He wanted all those voices to stop, all those strange scenes to cease bothering him. He wanted to go back to his tree in Central park. His life was much simpler back then; he was no one, just a homeless starving guy who cheated to eat and tried to survive each day.

"Are you well, my son?" the blond woman asked him. Loki looked at her confused.

That question sounded so normal to him. Maybe because he had heard it many times. Could she be his mother? How could she be? She looked like royalty…

_You're a prince of Asgard_

Yes, now he remembered. She had told him that too. He tried to remember what Asgard would look like but he couldn't. He couldn't remember much more than before he went down.

"I am an alien prince…" he said looking at them both as they nodded. "…of another galaxy…" nod "my name is Loki and you are my mother…" he said looking at her. "Frigga" he said smiling as the name popped into his head. The two women smiled and Frigga sat by his side to hug him.

"Oh, my son, I am so glad you are al right! I was afraid I was going to lose you again." She said hugging him tight.

_I would have done it Father! For you, for all of us!_

"The bridge…" he whispered and saw Frigga's eyes darkening.

"Do you remember?" Millie asked him but he shook his head.

"Not much; I remember everything of my life after the accident but not before it. I have flashes of people and incidents I do not know what they mean; it's not very different from the nightmares I had before." Loki explained.

"You have been through so much Loki but you have survived everything. You are strong. Don't worry my son, your powers and immortality have been restored, with your healing power the damaged done to your brain will be cured." Frigga said caressing the big ugly scar at Loki's head.

"I have powers?" Loki asked her.

"Of course, you are a God Loki and a great sorcerer, the Master of Sorcery in Asgard." She explained to him.

Loki seemed to be processing Frigga's words when suddenly his eyes went wide and he jumped off the bed.

"I… I… I think I've hurt people. I can't quite remember, it's all blurry but my head was hurting, my skin felt like it was tearing apart and I was so angry, so cold. I think I hurt someone, hit him, and threw something…" he started mumbling but Millie put a reassuring hand on his back.

"Don't worry, Loki, everything is al right. Yes you kicked some asses in there but I don't think it was your fault." Millie said turning to Frigga for further explanation.

"You mortal body was not ready to accept all that energy and power. You have been mortal for over a year and after that terrible accident you lost every memory and knowledge of manipulating your magic. While you were asleep your energy slept but once you woke up it burst out and you didn't know how to control it. It was only natural, don't feel guilty." Frigga said. Loki looked at her and several memories flashed before him. They were full of blood and screams.

"I … am a monster." He said. "I killed so many people; I think I killed my father … and my brother…" He looked at them as they were struggling to find the words to soothe him.

"Why did you save me?" he asked them. He'd rather never remember; He would rather to be no one, a beggar or even better dead to spare himself from the voices than be a prince drowned in blood.

"You have paid for your crimes and you will pay for the rest of your life my son. I know their voices follow you; that they keep you awake in night but that is how I know you are not a monster. Monsters do not have feelings or guilds they feel nothing. You deserve to live a peaceful life." She told him.

Loki looked at her silently. He couldn't speak; he felt he was too tired.

He was tired and hurt and hungry, like the night Not-Natalie had found him.

Millie looked at the Asgardians back and forth. "Maybe we should let you rest. The bathroom is over there if you want to shower, don't make abuse of my shampoo, the bed is extra comfortable and I'll make you something to eat." She said and left. Frigga followed her shortly after giving her son a kiss.


	18. Just a man

Half of a man

Chapter 19

Just a man

Millie got out of her workshop and walked down the corridor to the elevator. Fury had requested everyone to gather at SHIELD's HQ. She didn't like that, not at all; it meant only trouble. She got to her room and took a quick shower. Tom or Loki had disarranged her washing shampoos. She took it as a sign of improvement of her friend and smiled.

"JARVIS, where is Loki?" she asked the computer as she got dressed in SHIELD business suit. That's right; she had a special suit for such occasions. She and Riley had spent a really good time choosing it. It was a pair of jeans, a simple white shirt and a black jacket along with black boots. Plain but formal.

"He is currently taking the elevator to the garage. Queen Frigga, Prince Thor and your father are there as well." The computer said.

Millie took her bag and left to meet with the others.

"Did the sky fall on our heads or is Tony Stark on time for once in his life?" She teased approaching them.

"Don't be harsh on your father, Hug; I'm always on time for important stuff." Tony said. He was too, equally dressed for this Shield meeting. Thor and Frigga ever on their non discreet clothes greeted her. Loki was standing next to them, silent, nodding his head at his young friend.

"I need my conditioner back." Millie told him and smiled as he smirked. Taking the keys out of her pocket she walked to her favorite, black, Ferrari.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tony asked her.

"Unless you have a mini bus hidden somewhere there's no room for all of us in a simple car." She said unlocking the Ferrari.

"Ok, point, but you won't run…" he said making her roll her eyes "…and you're not taking him with you." He said pointing at Loki. The three Asgardians looked at him confused as Millie was left with her mouth open.

"Are you serious? Do you know how old I am?" she yelled at him.

"You can be a trillion years old but I still won't let you alone with him; especially after what happened the other day." He said and crossed his arms to stand his ground. He had picked that one from Pepper.

Loki looked between father and daughter and turned his look at his shoes ashamed. He was afraid, he didn't mind admitting it. He had gotten so scared that day with all that energy that had flashed into him. He saw the damage he had done. The infirmary was ruined, Tony and Thor were hurt, Steve broke his arm and Natasha had sprained her ankle. The blond guy, Clint, was still in a very bad shape. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone, especially her.

Tony was right, he was dangerous and the last thing he wanted was to hurt Mildred. She was, perhaps, the only true friend he had right now, in the whole world. So without altering a word he walked towards Tony and got inside the Audi. Millie glared at her father as she locked the two – seated Ferrari and got to the old Mazzerati.

"No offence, buddy, but I wouldn't even trust myself with her if I had gone crazy like that, let alone you." Tony said and glanced at Loki's lost face. "Or rather the you I met." He added and focused back on the street. He had to admit that the guy who sat next to him was nothing like the one he had fought all those years back. He had made justice of his name as God of Mischief and Chaos, Silver tongue and arrogant, maniac, brat.

This guy here was nothing like that. He looked scared to death and lost as an abandoned puppy. Well He guessed that if one of his suits would go crazy like that he would be scared to death too. He barely spoke and always kept his hands together. As if letting them free would unleash all the power he hid inside.

Frigga had reassured them that she had sustained his magic until he felt ready.

"I threw you out of the window." Loki said suddenly. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"You did" Tony answered. "Have you remembered?" Tony asked him. No matter what he had been told, what he had read and what he had witnessed he still held his horses towards the Mischievous God.

Loki shook his head.

"No, Millie told me, I asked her." He said and raised his head to look at him. "She told me you almost died trying to save the planet." He said. Tony glanced at him. He couldn't read him. He was blank.

"I had to protect the one thing I can't live without and that's my family." Tony answered swallowing hard.

"But you wouldn't be alive." Loki said.

"No, but I'd be happy being in Hell knowing that my family is safe than live without them." He said and shivered at the memories of Africa. He would never, ever, let that happen again.

Loki fell silent again. They passed the Memorial of the Fallen New York had build up for the dead during the invasion. Loki looked at it and swallowed hard.

"For the past year I came here every day taking the flowers and toys people left to sell them. I had heard stories, I had read the inscription but I could never understand … I killed all those people." He said and looked down again tightening the grip on his seatbelt.

No one altered a word until the reached Shield.

Everyone was gathered in the conference room. Tony sat down next to Millie letting Loki take the only empty seat next to Natasha.

"How are you? I haven't seen you since…" Natasha said but Loki looked at Fury who was starting his speech.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the last seven years we have been preparing to fight anything that may come; no matter how big, fast or out of our space it is. I am afraid that the time has come." He said and a hologram of space appeared. Loki looked at it and was impressed by its resemblance to a tree.

"It looks like a tree." He said making his brother and mother smile.

"It's Yggdrasil, brother." Thor said grinning.

Fury pretended he heard nothing and went on.

"Dr. Jane Foster spotted some abnormal activity. It seems that an enormous energy wave is moving. The motion is very strong between those three planets." Fury said looking at the Aesirs to explain. Queen Frigga spoke.

"Muspelheim, Nifleheim and the moon Titan." She explained.

"What do they have?" Bruce asked her.

"Muspelheim is the home of Fire Giants, demons that generate their power from their planet's volcanoes. Nifleheim is where the dark Elves live. They practice in dark magic; they try to manipulate the dark energy of the cosmos." She said.

"They're despicable." Tony commented only to get elbowed by Millie.

"What about Titan?" Steve asked but no one seemed to answer. Natasha looked at the Asgardians but they kept their mouths closed.

"It is where the Chintaury and Thanos are. He was the true master behind the invasion of New York." she said and everyone stared at her, even Loki. Natasha ignored them and thanked God Fury resumed talking.

"All of them are currently moving to three places, here, here and… here." He said and pointed at Earth. "Now I wouldn't really care for the other two if Dr. Foster hadn't informed that on of them is your planet, your Majesty, with which we have an alliance but the biggest wave is coming here and it's coming fast." Fury said.

All of them looked at the screen in horror remembering what Loki had told Natasha. He was nothing towards what would come.

"It's Jotunheim, Asgard and Midgard. He's spread his forces; I don't think he's looking for Loki anymore." Thor said. Loki looked at him terrified. He understood nothing of that.

Almost nothing; he remembered a name, Thanos. It sent shivers down his spine.

"Thanos is going along with his plan." Natasha said looking at Loki's terrified face. She had to speak. "He intends on ruling the universe to sacrifice it to Death." She said.

"How is he going to do that?" Steve wondered.

"It's not that difficult; all you have to do is make universal war. Death kind of comes along." Bruce said.

"We need to assemble. Phase three has already begun and it's going good." Fury said looking at Millie who nodded absent mind.

"Good; we've notified the army and we'll start training as soon as the tests complete."

"Your weapons will not be enough against them." Frigga said. "They have dark magic, they have powers you wouldn't understand." She added.

"I know as I know that Asgard will fight as well. I don't know the nature of the invaders; that I'm afraid will be a secret until the last moment but I have hopes that one of you may help us." Fury said and everyone looked at Loki.

"What?" he asked.

"We need your help, Loki. This Thanos is after you and if I know anything of crazy criminals he won't lose a chance to find you. I know you are capable of manipulating magic very well. We need you to reveal yourself." Fury said and Loki looked at him confused. What did he mean exactly?

"No offence, Sir, but that wouldn't be wise. If he does that he will attract Thanos here and we're not ready for that." Natasha said in a neutral tone. She looked completely professional but as Loki was sitting next to her he felt her body shaking slightly. It was not visible but he could sense it.

"But he won't be here. I have a theory and a plan. If Loki uncovers himself Thanos will pursuit him. He will hunt him at the end of the world to get his revenge. Of course he wouldn't be doing that alone…" He said but he was cut by Natasha.

"You want to send him off, traveling from one planet to the other so he can distract Thanos? That's suicidal, he didn't even know his name three days ago." She said and now she was really shaking as she looked Director Fury with eyes wide open.

A wave of voices was raised in the room with Millie and Thor standing out.

"Silence!" Fury yelled and Loki snapped his head to look at him. For a split second he saw an old man with white hair and beard standing in front of him instead of Fury, dressed in a golden armor, holding a golden spear in his hand. He had one eye too.

"We won't be able to stand an attack such as that. I don't know what kind of forces Asgard has but I doubt it can hold on too." He said and when no one spoke he continued.

"We are to be met with forces unknown, stronger than those we, by stark luck, bit last time. Same luck doesn't happen twice, we need to work. He is a powerful sorcerer, amnesia or not, he is what he is and he better remember that quickly. Diverting the enemy's forces is our best chance; take him apart slowly and when we will be ready, when we've weakened him, Loki will bring him here. It's the best chance we got." He said.

Loki looked around. Some seemed troubled; others like Tony Stark seemed tarred while the ones closest to him like Millie, his new found brother and Natasha glared at Fury trying to hold back their tongue.

They knew it was as wrong as it was right.

His mother was looking at him. She had a sad look on her face, one he surprisingly recognized. She knew what was to happen.

"You want to use me as bait. You want me to run in worlds unknown, do things I don't know and fight something I know nothing about, something that, of what I get, can snap me like a leaf." Loki said in a perfectly calm voice.

Natasha looked at him confused. He seemed neutral, blank but she could hear the sadness in his voice. His realization about what had transpired, why they had saved him.

"YOU made this mess. You made a deal with him, you failed him and now he's looking for you. You got us into this and you will get us out. You wanted to be King, that's your chance to prove yourself!" Fury raised his voice. The old man with the golden armor flashed before Loki's eyes, again.

"You… don't understand." He said in a low voice, barely audible by those next to him. He held onto the table tight for a moment before he got to his feet. "I….I'm not what you think I am." He said massaging his forehead with one hand as he paced up and down.

"Loki…" Natasha whispered.

"I'm not Loki!" he yelled turning towards her with eyes wide open. "I'm not a king; I'm nothing of what you claim me to be. I'm no one! I'm just a man, a poor, homeless and unfortunate man who foolishly believed he had a right in happiness." He said burning Natasha with his eyes. "Why don't you let me be?" He whispered and felt the coldness of his veins rising. "I'm so cold." He said embracing himself, not seeing the blue that consumed him.

"Leave me in my solitude, I'm nothing, I'm no one…" he whispered as he fainted slowly, like a ghost until he was completely gone.

* * *

**Oh no! Where did he go now? **


	19. Trees stand on their roots

Half of a man

Chapter 20

Trees stand on their roots

_He stood in the middle of a great room. It was the biggest room he had ever seen; it glowed as the sunlight peered in from the huge windows. It was a warm sunlight that surely was made by gold, as everything in that world seemed to be. The room was filled with people dressed in weird clothes. They were all yelling. They seemed pretty angry… at him._

_However, he felt rather comfortable there. He felt all those faces were familiar. He felt resentment for most of them but there were few for which he had a good feeling. Those few faces among the crowd looked at him confused and hurt._

_He looked straight ahead and saw a tall man with golden hair and a big hammer in his hand. He knew him and he felt safe at his presence._

_He was Thor, he was his brother._

_Next to him was a woman with long blond hair whose look was full of sorrow. It was like she was witnessing a torture. _

_His mother, Queen Frigga of Asgard_

_There, in the middle, stood the man in the golden armor. His hair was white as the snow and his one eye scrutinized this young man, the young prince, his youngest son._

_He was Odin the son of Borr, the King of Asgard, the All- father_

_His father_

_No, not his father, Loki remembered. He was his kidnapper, his guard, the man who held him all those years for his own purposes._

_This was not his family, not his brother, not his mother…_

_He was not Loki Odinson…_

_But he couldn't be what he really was… a monster…_

_What was he really if not a monster? Did he not stand there before the All – father to be punished because of his monstrosities? _

_Odin knocked his spear on the floor to make silence._

"_Loki Laufeyson…" he said and Loki wished he could see him smirk. He claimed to love him and yet he denied him in the first chance. He shouldn't be surprised; the man had denied him while he hovered over his doom, after all. _

"_You are accused for attempted genocide, patricide, attempted murder towards the crowned prince of Asgard, stealing the casket of ancient winters, invading Midgard and killing hundreds of humans. You have crossed the lines; do you have anything to say to defend yourself?" Odin asked him but Loki cocked an eyebrow towards him as he was still muzzled. With a move of his wrist, the King removed the barrier. Dozens of voices were heard at once yelling and threatening to kill him._

"_Silence!" Odin said knocking Gun'gnir on the floor._

_Loki cleared his voice and looked at his mother. He knew the fate that was awaiting him was terrible. He could see it in her eyes; no matter what he did he would suffer._

"_You call me Laufeyson and claim that I committed patricide when everyone in this room knows you called me your son until yesterday. What do they have to say about their King that brought a Jotun in Asgard?" Loki said looking at him. He expected the barrier to return but to his surprise he remained free._

"_He saved you, unthankful bastard!" someone yelled from the crowd._

"_And I saved him! I killed the father who birthed me to save the father who raised me, the father who lied to me, who used me, the one who kept me in his palace as another stolen relic." Loki snapped back and returned to Odin with a smirk._

"_One stolen relic for another… I can't have stolen what is rightfully mine." He said. _

"_You tried to kill your own people!"_

"_You tried to kill your brother!"_

"_You killed hundreds of humans! Murderer!" voices yelled again to be silenced by Odin's severe one eye._

"_Hehehe…" Loki laughed scanning the great hall. "You scare your children with stories of Frost Giants; you swear to kill them every day. Your crowned prince you claimed as my brother dreamed of erasing Jotunheim from Yggdrasil since I can remember. Really, brother, would you have killed me too if you had found out about my true nature?" Loki said and saw Thor's eyes clouding._

"_You were given permission to talk in order to apologize, not bent the court with your Silver tongue, Loki." Odin said._

"_It hurts doesn't it? It hurts to hear the truth. What kind of a man abandons his son, letting him dive to his oblivion when he needs him the most? You have no idea what I've been through, what it is like to fall for days, months, years. I was falling endlessly into nothing… I became nothing… and then I reached the bottom." Loki said in a low voice. He had been lost in that memory, in that feeling. He closed his eyes and heard the room, no one was talking. It was his chance…_

"_Once I knew my self as Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard. That man is dead; you killed him in that bridge with no second thought. I'm not a man; I'm exactly what you want me to be. Congratulations, father, you have yourself a monster." Loki said smirking._

_The audience was silent for the first time as everyone was looking at the young prince. The spell of his silver tongue had been effective. _

_Odin looked at his son with no sign of remorse. Loki knew him; He was immune to his magic words, nothing could get pass that golden armor. If he had banished Thor with no second thought, Loki couldn't even imagine what he would do to him._

"_Loki Laufeyson…" he said again catching the crowd's attention. "For the betrayal of Asgard and for all the crimes that had been listed, I, Odin All – Father, judge you guilty and sentence you to suffer in silence under the venom of a serpent… until time's up." He said with a swing of Gun'gnir Loki felt a strong wind against him making his armor disappear. He was left barefoot, wearing only a pair of black pants. He looked at his hands and froze at their blue hue._

_No, he hadn't… not in front of all Asgard. Not in front of the people that mocked him and made fun of him since he had been a child. He hadn't done that._

_He looked at him in absolute terror, feeling betrayed for yet another time. He caught Thor's frozen face as well as his mother's. She didn't look very happy with his father. _

_In his shock he didn't realize the guards that pinned him down and presented a string and a needle to sew his mouth._

* * *

He opened his eyes and looked around. He was in the middle of a forest. The snow was heavy on the trees and the ground was covered by a white blanket. He grabbed some snow with his bare hand and played with it. It didn't burn him.

Of course not, he was a … Frost Giant.

He was not Thomas the Trickster anymore, they had called him Loki.

He got up and took a minute to stabilize himself. His head was pounding. Just a minute ago he was in SHIELD and now he was in the middle of nowhere.

In a forest far away from New York

It seemed familiar, somehow…

_I like it here father…_

_It's yours my son, here you can play and train as you want, nobody will ever harm you._

A flash of memory came back to him. He steadied himself and started walking. He had to survive.

He didn't know for how long he was walking. The sky seemed frozen, white like the ground and the sun was hidden behind the heavy clouds. Luckily he found an abandoned shelter, hidden behind some trees. He got in and let himself collapse on the floor. His head hurt as if someone had punched him with a huge hammer.

_As if Thor punched me with Mjolnir_

He buried his face in his palms and hid from the faint light trying to ease the pain. He felt cold rising from his insides again and opened his eyes just a little to see the room consumed ice before he passed out.

When he woke up the sky was slightly darker. It could be night, he wasn't sure. He could barely see inside the shelter but he searched the place anyway. There was a single bed, a first aid cupboard full of anything one could need in case of an emergency, a small bathroom and a few empty cupboards.

It didn't look that abandoned on the inside.

He was lucky the cold was so fierce and no one would think to go on hunting.

He could stay there for a few days, until he decided what to do next.

His stomach growled as he stood in front of the empty cabinets and he thought it was about time to eat something.

But what could he eat in a forest?

When he was in New York he went to the church or to the common meals or at the worst case scenario and after several days with no food he ate what he could find in the garbage. It wasn't that bad, if you knew where to look. Big supermarkets threw away all kinds of stuff and they were actually pretty good. The thing was not to be caught. He never understood what their problem was; it was just garbage after all!

But what about here? What would he do in a foreign place where everything was covered by snow?

"At least I can have some water." He said and grabbed a kettle from the cupboards to gather some snow.

He went out and started stuffing snow in the kettle scanning the area for anything edible.

"Ahhhhhh!" a scream violated the silence of the forest followed by growls and barks. Loki let his kettle fall and ran towards the screams.

"Away, away you fowl creatures!" a man was yelling. He was laid down with a red pool staining the snow around his leg. Around him lurked a group of really big and white dogs. They looked hungry and this man could be a delicious meal. Loki didn't hesitate to throw a snowball to catch their attention.

One of them turned around revealing its teeth. A bigger, uglier creature flashed before his eyes. He paid no attention and grabbed a stick to make them go away. The animals left the wounded man and approached him. They seemed pretty angry. Loki didn't wait for their attack. He moved forward and hit the one who had noticed him first. He should be the leader. The others attacked him simultaneously but with an elegant swing he kept them away.

It was so easy, like he had done a hundred times before.

The leader attacked him again but with a strong hit with his stick it was thrown back down on the snow. He didn't lose the chance and slashed the animal's throat, painting the snow red.

He turned around with eyes wide open and breath heavy to look at any other offenders. There were none, they had disappeared.

Loki looked at his achievement on the snow and felt something cracking inside him.

_It was so easy, so easy. I did it with no second thoughts, I killed it._

"Thank you." He heard the man say and he turned to face him. He hadn't realized the man had been speaking in a different language. He could hear it but he understood none the less.

"Uhm, you don't seem alright." He said surprised to hear his voice altering the same harsh sounds as the man before him. He wasn't young, he should be over sixty but one could tell that life had been kind to him. He had black hair and a thick black moustache. His eyes were black as well but his skin was as white as the snow. He wore clothes Loki had seen soldiers wear in New York.

"I got separate from the others, never saw the wolves coming." He said struggling.

"Wolves? You mean the dogs?" Loki said but the man was already drifting away. He took him on his shoulders and led him back to the shelter. He laid him on the bed and got the first aid cupboard. He had spent quite some time in the hospital. He may have not understood back then but remembered the bottles, the colors and the procedure. He had a good memory, if one could see past his amnesia.

He searched the man's belt and got a knife to cut his suit open in order to get to the wound. It looked pretty bad, even if the flow of blood was not great. He cleaned it up and rapped it in with a bandage.

For a moment he saw himself over a bleeding man, holding his hands over the wound. His hands were glowing and the wound was healing until there was not even a scar left.

Loki brought his hands over the man's leg and tried to concentrate. If he really was a god, if he could do all the things Fury had said, then he would be able to save this man.

He focused and tried to envision the healing of the wound.

A shear pain cut across his head and he fell on the floor. He felt as if the world was lost from his feet but he tried to remain awake.

When the pain subsided he got out again and resumed his task.

"Water…"

When the man spoke again the sky was pure white. Loki got his flask which he had filled earlier and brought it to his lips.

"Thank you…" the man whispered.

"How do you feel?" Loki asked him.

"As if I fought with a thousand giants…" _Frost Giant _"I think I may be too old for this stuff, after all." He said and coughed slightly. Loki grabbed him and helped him sit up.

"You saved me." The man said but Loki didn't reply. He didn't know what he had done. He had saved a man or killed an animal. He was a savior or a monster? What was he? Who was he?

"How did you get there? How did you know to bring me here?" the man asked him and Loki swallowed hardly.

So he had found the owner of the shelter.

"I… I got lost. I heard you screaming and followed the screams; that is all." Loki said and shrugged.

"May I have the name of my savior?" he asked him. Loki looked at him confused.

How was he supposed to introduce himself when he didn't even know who he was? They had given him a name that was not his, a life that was not his and yet his name was like venom in his lips for all the things it represented. Who was he in the end?

"I… don't know who I am. I hope to find out." He told him sincerely. The man looked at him with a confused but sympathetic look. He seemed to understand.

"Well, may I call you Engel?" the man asked and Loki shrugged.

"My name is Borr." The man said and Loki arched an eyebrow towards him. The name sounded familiar for some reason. "Well, Engel, I have a GPS in my back pack but I shut it off. If you turn it on, they will find us and I'll be able to thank you properly." The man said Loki did as he was instructed. He had seen a GPS in Mildred's workshop so he knew how it worked.

It was a matter of minutes to find them after that. He heard them coming from almost a mile away. They had dogs and cars and they were yelling. Loki went out to find them so he could be over with that and be alone again.

A man appeared as soon as he opened the door and before he could say anything he had burst into the shelter and towards Borr. He was older than him and he wore heavy clothes, suitable for such a terrible weather.

"Your Majesty, you are well." The man said kneeling before Borr.

Now, that seemed a bit surreal. Who was that man?

"I'm fine, Olav, this young man here saved me. His name is… Engel." Borr said making the man get up.

"Thank you sir, I'm Olav the King's head of security. I got so scared when we lost him. Thank you for saving him." He said and held Loki's hand.

"You are a king?" Loki asked Borr.

"He is the king of Norway." Olav said shocked the man before him didn't know.

"Please, Olav, make sure that this young man will be treated well in the palace." Borr said before his people took him. Olav led Loki to the car.

What kind of new adventures had he gotten himself into?

* * *

The first thing he asked when they got to the palace was food. Only after he ate he noticed the big halls. It looked like a palace but it was nothing compared to the one in his dreams. He was shown to a guest room and was left alone. He took a bath, allowing himself to relax inside the big bath. The water was cold but it was exactly how he liked it. He didn't know when he would have that kind of luxury again. He lay on the big bed and fell asleep. He was so tired that no nightmare bothered him.

He woke up and put on the clothes the maidens had left for him; a grey suit with matching vest and a black shirt. They fitted him perfectly. Slightly after he was done there was a knock on the door.

"His majesty wants to take breakfast with you. You can follow me when you are ready." A young maiden said.

"We can go now." He said and followed her. As they walked through the palace Loki noticed all those portraits of old Kings and Queens who looked down upon him. He felt rather intimidated by their serious looks.

"His majesty is in the greenhouse." The maiden said and left him. Loki walked around the greenhouse looking for anyone that could be Borr. He guessed he would look really different in his King attire.

However he found the man sitting on a chair wearing a simple suit; for some reason that didn't apply to Loki's image of a King.

"Your Majesty…" he said. Borr looked up from his paper and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Engel, please sit down. I hope you slept well." Borr said and left his paper aside.

"It was very refreshing. How is your leg?" Loki asked him pouring himself some coffee.

"I will be fine. Sadly life has been too kind to me and I have grown soft." the King said eating a piece of cake. He gave some to Loki and he accepted it with a smile. Everything seemed so casual and yet to Loki it felt formal. However he seemed terribly comfortable at the situation.

"So, my friend, will you tell what you were doing in my forest, alone, this time of winter wearing nothing but a shirt?" the King asked him.

"Your forest?" Loki asked him confused.

_It is yours my son_

"Yes, it belongs to the royal family, not many commoners can get to it and I'm sure nobody will be as light dressed as you." The King said eyeing him, not with suspicion but with curiosity.

"I have high tolerance in cold; it does not affect me easily. I do not know how I got there, I guess I got lost." Loki said feigning indifference.

Borr watched him for a few moments as his young savior marveled the plants in the green house. He sat gracefully in his uncomfortable chair, legs crossed, shoulders straight and board, cup in his hand as his eyes scanned the place in a very familiar way.

To speak the truth, his face looked painfully familiar. Those green eyes reminded him so much he felt like he was going to die from shock the first time he saw them in that shelter.

His Engel, his angel.

His mind traveled years ago, when he had been a young man, somewhere in this man's age. He had been ready to rule the world back then. He had been an arrogant brat.

Suddenly a crazy idea crossed his mind and his lips moved involuntarily.

"Sleep little prince, my precious jewel

To grow strong to win your every dwell…" Borr hummed making Loki freeze. The young man turned around ever so slowly and looked at the King. He blinked twice and left the cup down. He knew that song, he wasn't sure how…

"Sleep under my safe wing

Until is time you be King." Loki whispered trying to realize what it meant.

"It must be some kind of lullaby." He added.

"It's not just a lullaby; it's my family's lullaby. Every mother sings it to her son. My mother sang it to me, as my wife sang it to my son and my grand mother to my father until we go back to the old days…" Borr said staring the young man. He grabbed his cane and signaled him to follow him. They didn't go far, just a few meters away to an old office.

It looked as it hadn't been opened in quite some time. Borr opened the door and stood to the side revealing the office to him. Right across the door, there was a portrait of a very familiar face. She was really young but Loki would recognize those green eyes and sad smile everywhere. They were the same eyes that were looking at him with so much hope as he became human again.

Nancy

"I don't understand." Loki said. Borr walked inside and took a seat on the couch.

"That is my sister, Nancy. I believe you recognize her." He said.

"She … she helped me. I almost died and she took care of me." He said taking several steps closer. That woman reminded him of yet another woman. He couldn't place the face but she was really intimidating.

_By the stars that shine upon your eyes princess will you ever let your father sleep?_

"Don't lie to me, tell me… where is my sister, what happened to her?" Borr asked him. Loki looked at him confused.

"I don't know, I didn't know she was a princess. She… died a year ago." Loki said but the older man wasn't satisfied.

"No, no, tell me what happened to her all these years. She left; he took her… what … how was her life?" Borr asked him again but Loki shook his head.

"I do not know; I met her at the hospital. I was shot, I almost died, she was there when I woke up and she helped me recover. I know nothing else…."

"You know the lullaby; no one else would know it but her son." Borr said and limped towards him. Loki stayed steel. A blur of memories swam in his head. For some reason the fact that Nancy was his mother did not shock him.

Then who was the one who had been there for him in the Stark Tower?

The blond woman, the queen, that made him feel safe and loved?

He had an image of a young boy on Frigga's laps while she sang him that lullaby.

He felt Borr raising his shirt out of his pants revealing a piece of marked skin.

"The mark…" he said and raised his shirt too. He had the same one.

"We all have it, it is a gift from the gods." He said. Loki looked at him and then at the portrait. He thought about everything he had found out, his dreams, and his locked memories. He had to short things out.

"The lullaby is a gift from the gods too." He said and the man nodded. That's why he knew it. Frigga had been singing it to him since he had been a baby.

Frigga was not his real mother, though, that woman on that portrait was.

"Tell me about her."


	20. Past is but a future step done

Half of a man

Chapter 21

Past is but a future step done

"Nancy was a very weird woman, I must admit. She was always very silent and preferred to be on her own than with us. However the fact that we were all boys might have something to do with it." Borr said looking at the portrait of his sister.

Loki was wandering around the office, looking at the books. He recognized the language, Nancy had taught him; the titles seemed a little bit weird but to his surprise he recognized them too.

"She was the only daughter and by our mother's death she was left without a woman's company. Of course she had maidens, governesses and lots of cousins and friends but she didn't trust people easily. "Borr said sighing. His poor little sister.

"She was really fond of fairy tales and mythology, all that kind of stuff. She liked you the most." He said confusing Loki.

"What do you mean? I wasn't even born." Loki said.

"I don't know how these things work; all sight, in sight, psychics, I must confess I never really understood or liked. Nancy however had a very special gift. She knew staff, she had dreams no one could explain. She was talking about a golden city and a frozen planet… and you, Loki Odinson." Borr said surprising Loki even more.

Odinson… he knew that name

Odin… that was really familiar.

"I guess time works in a weird way, you must be thousands of years old and you were only born thirty years ago." The king added but Loki was ready to protest. The king raised his hand to silence him.

"No need, my boy. I know exactly who you are, I knew from the moment I saw you." He said and got up, limping towards the office. He opened a drawer and got out a sketch book.

"She made that before she disappeared." He said and handed it him. It was full of sketches of him, of that city he had seen in his dreams, that big blond fool they had called his brother, the Queen of Asgard, the man in the golden Armor and a weird creature, a blue giant. His heart was filled with resentment at that particular.

_Laufeyson_

The name from his dreams surfaced in his mind.

_You could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard._

Loki shook his head trying to dismiss those thoughts. They made his blood boil without him knowing why. It made him feel weak. He had to clear his past, he had to remember and then… he would decide.

"Your father… I know nothing about him but his face. I only met him once and I never saw my sister again. That is all I know." Borr said handing him the sketchbook.

"Take your time…" he added and left the room sighing.

Loki traced the titles on the books having a sense of déjà vu, only in his memory the library was far bigger with books twice the size of those on the selves.

He took one and sat on the office. It was such a warm and familiar feeling; the office, the dim lights, the cent of old books. He opened one and traced the words on it. He recognized the language even though it had been dead for centuries.

He saw a few sketches with familiar names underneath it. They were absolutely inaccurate. He surely was not a Joker and that big fool, Thor, did not look like a Viking, even though he was a bit of a savage. He closed it and went to grab another one. This one had Yggdrasil and all the other constellations. He traced the planets and read the names allowing the pictures to take over him.

_Asgard, Vanaheim, Nifleheim, Midgard, Jotunheim… _

He saw huge icy roots encircling a round room, he saw a woman crying over a dead figure; it was Thor. He saw a man in a suit lying with a rifle in his hands, a bloody smile on his face and that blue giant looking at him with a look he knew well.

Hurt and betrayal

Were all of these pictures memories? Was he that bad of a person?

That blue giant, he was his father but he didn't feel like it; he had been abandoned left to die, that much he remembered and the hate …

He closed the book and traced another, one of magic. Of what Fury had told him he had been really good at that. He could feel the energy waking inside him but he was so afraid he might destroy everything again. He read a few spells feeling very familiar with the task.

He closed the books and looked around the library. There was a time Nancy was sitting in the same chair, doing the exact same thing.

Could she know? Could she know what would happen to her? That word Borr had said sounded familiar.

_All sight_

There must have been some other figure in his life mentioning that. He sighed massaging his temples lightly. His head was hurting again; he didn't like this healing procedure, it caused him too much of a physical pain.

He took a breath and chuckled.

One month ago he was a punk, a homeless trickster with no past, no name, nothing and now he was in the royal palace of Norway, wearing a three piece suit, being a prince in three different worlds.

That was mind blowing and out of this world laughable. He laughed hard at the thought, so hard his stomach hurt. No man could stay sane with such a turn of events. But he wasn't just a man right? He was a giant… so to speak. Which brought him to former question, why did all these books write about him when he was born thirty years ago? How had he survived that shot? He should be dead, everyone had told him that!

He let his body fell a bit and his knees hit the desk opening a secret hide place. He bent a little and retrieved a small red book, a diary.

_I saw a dream last night, it was really weird. I was walking inside the palace with a stranger. His hands were so cold and his face almost blue. He took me to the golden city and showed me their beautiful gardens. Suddenly, while we were walking, a purple giant came and snatched him away. There was a battle and people were dying. I thought he was dead but then I saw him tied to a tree with a serpent above his head._

Loki flipped a few pages and got to the middle.

_My visions are becoming clearer by the day. I saw him clearly today, his black hair, his green eyes, and the look of mischief in them. He's so beautiful, my son. I'm afraid I won't meet him, all dreams indicate this. He is going to be a god after all. He's future is full of pain and torture I'm afraid. Oh, how am I afraid for him and I haven't even met his father. I know nothing about him._

He changed the pages eagerly and got to the last few.

_Great pain awaits me; mother Frigga has sent me a message as clear as it can get. I saw a man, not Loki, someone else. He took me away to an icy land, away from here. In my dream I felt affection for him but most of all fear. I know what he is; he's a Frost Giant and a king. He's going to be the father of my child. I heard someone whispering in my sleep, it was a prophecy; a child born from the house of Odin and the Ice of Jotunheim will rule all branches of Yggdrasil. The Frost giant smiled and then screamed as he held a small child in his hand. He cursed in languages unknown. The child was gone, the ice melted and I saw a man with a sewn mouth struggling with a thousand snakes. _

The diary stopped there. There was nothing else but the visions of a woman. He had to find the truth; there must be someone who could help him. If all this magic and stuff were real and he was a half human, demi God he should be able to find something. There should be something in those books.

He got up and paced with a firm look on his face. He knew what he had to do. He needed to regain control; of his mind, his magic, his body, everything. Then he would be able to find his answers and decide his role in the theatre called life. He got out of room, still holding the diary and asked a maid to take him to the King's office.

"Hello, my boy." Borr said.

"I've made a decision." Loki said.

"You sound like a man having made a decision." Borr said.

"I'm going to find out all that concern me. I will find out what happened to Nancy, to me, everything, but I need to regain my memories… among other stuff." Loki said.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I need a home, away from people and those books of Nancy. I'm going to be Loki Odinson again."


	21. Down in Mexico

Half of a man

Down in Mexico

"Anthony Edward Stark!"

The sun was burning over the golden desert of New Mexico. The sky was so blue one could swear it was purer than in any other part of the world. Tony was laid down with his feet in a small plastic pool fool of ice cubes and water, drinking a cocktail on the roof of a track.

"Tony!" a long desired voice pierced his ears. Of course he never liked her screaming in that tone.

"Hi, Peps." He said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Get your arrogant ass down here, now, Stark!" she screamed, which was good judging by how pissed she was; if she brought the professional tone that would mean trouble.

Tony got his feet out of the pool and into his boots, never minding to dry them in this hell. He jumped down to the front of the track and then climbed down.

The sight before him scared him; Pepper was giving him her professional smile which always made him shiver.

"I've been calling you for two days." She said crossing her arms in front of her chest; defense.

"I was out of reach." He said.

"There's a huge antenna over there." She pointed to the back.

Tony looked behind her and nodded. They stayed silent for a moment, Tony looking down at his boots and Pepper trying to pierce into that thick skull of his.

"I told you to go North, what are you doing here?" he asked her and he saw the world spinning. His cheek burned at the collision with Pepper's hand.

"You fly over to New York, leaving us alone and then you call and tell me to get our kids and go north; just like that, no further explanation. I've been hearing you discussing about a second war for years; a war that is going to be even worse than that battle in New York. Did you really expect that after all we've been through I'd just leave, not giving a damn what you do or where you are?" her voice was never raised. She was calm and neutral just like when she lectures her kids.

Tony swallowed hard and looked at her. "You should, this might be over our limits…"

"So? If you lose here, in New Mexico, do you think that whoever is coming will spare the rest of the world?" she cut him and he shook his head.

"No, but I'd be more relax knowing you might not be caught in the middle of a sudden attack or anything. By the way where are the kids?" he asked her.

"With their sister, which reminds me… will you give the poor girl a break? Go and do your job as a mature adult and let Mildred alone for a minute." She sighed.

"I was doing just that when you came. Bringing the kids in the center of a test field is not very smart, Pepper." He said walking towards the facilities.

"There not in the test field, they are safe, but you…"

"Me nothing, you should take the kids and leave." Tony said entering the lounge room of their little 'camp' where his favourite little minions were playing.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Edward, Marie and Logan yelled running towards him with Marie beating her siblings to Tony's arms.

"Hey! How are my little minions? Did you miss your dad?" he asked and they all started speaking simultaneously. He got the words, school, Sonia, ball, teacher, not fair and such. He let Marie down and looked at Millie on the back who was smirking at him.

"Ok, let's just calm down for a while, shall we? Let's just take this wonderful couch over here." He said and collected Logan from the floor which was looking at him with his huge brown eyes, ready to cry.

"No reason to cry, big guy, daddy's here." He said and walked to the couch sitting next to Millie. Pepper was nowhere to be seen which only meant trouble. If his wife was not there interrogating him she was with someone else doing it; with someone who would give her answers.

"So, what happened during my absence?" Tony asked.

"Mrs. Hudson put me in detention." Marie said obviously upset.

"Why?" Tony asked ready to hear a very amusing story.

"She put me in detention too, she had no right!" Edward said glancing at his sister.

"Don't tell me you guys blew up the school or something." Tony said and Millie laughed. Tony glanced at her but didn't say a word.

"No! We were just… we just… we wanted…" Marie was trying to find the right words that would make them look less guilty. Edward let her do the talking but as she could not find a good excuse he sighed and took the situation under his control.

"We were making a canon; The test ball broke a window in the greenhouse." He said. Tony's eyes were wide open and ready to reach Alabama at his son's statement.

"What? A canon? You actually build a canon? What for?" he asked upsetting Logan. He took a minute to calm himself and the toddler before Ed could explain.

"For the war." He said and Tony just froze. Little Edward looked so mature, so ready for what was to come. Of course, he could see that happening after Africa but how had he known about the war?

"There is a war coming, isn't it? That's why you left home; both of you." He said looking at his dad and his older sister. "The aliens are coming again, aren't they? The ones that came when I was a baby." He said, his eyes dark, troubled, determined but not scared. He had done it before, Tony decided. When they had been in Africa, Edward had been the one protecting Marie and Logan, he had sent the message, he had run away protecting his siblings. He had grown up so fast.

Tony looked at his children, all of them. Marie was looking at him expecting an answer. She looked a bit scared but she trusted him to protect them.

"Is it true daddy? Are they coming again? Is that bad man coming again?" she asked him and he looked at Millie. She looked as shocked as him but she was thinking rapidly. What can you answer them?

"Did mommy tell you?" it was a safe question to buy him some time. He knew Pepper would never worry them. Both of them shook their heads. This time Marie spoke.

"You left in your suit; you looked worried. You didn't call; you always call and mom was so worried."

"You left too; you were always there, but you were not anymore." Edward said to Millie. She could see the sense of abandonment in his eyes. She remembered Loki's words then.

_Do you think they'll care why you died? That they won't grieve, they won't accuse themselves for what will happen to you?_

Pepper appeared out of nowhere smiling sadly. Tony looked at her and sighted. She must have been really scared after the incident in the school. How can you deal with it? She wasn't supposed to deal with it.

"How can you hide yourself from them, besides they know everything." She said catching their attention. Logan struggled out of his arms to run to his mother.

Tony smiled awkwardly and thought for a while. His initial approach had been wrong. Everything was going wrong. Something was off.

"Yes, a war is coming and it's going to be worse than the last. Millie has been working on our weapons for as long as she had been missing and… that guy… Reindeer Games… he's going to help us. So no need to worry, it's going to be ok." Tony said looking at Millie.

Her expression said it all. It had been almost three weeks since they had lost Loki. He was certain she knew where that lunatic was, she could see it in her face right now. She looked guilty. She wasn't sure the demi god would be able to help them but they were sure, after what Thor had told them that they wouldn't be able to last on their own.

Their weapons wouldn't stand a chance against dark magic. They counted on their alliance with Asgard to protect them and on Frigga's promise to enhance their weapons with magic. Three weeks had past; there had been no sign of attack, no Frigga and no Loki. That troubled Mildred more than anything.

"Hey, kids, how about meeting the God of Thunder?" Pepper said distracting them. All three of them left the room with her leaving Millie alone with Tony.

"He's going to help." She said.

"How do you know?" he asked getting up from the couch.

"I just know."

"Do you know where he is?" he asked her but she didn't answer. "Do you know what he's doing, if he's going to come back?" again no answer.

"God, you don't even know if he was faking it! You don't even know if he's going back to maniac mode as we speak." He yelled but she kept her temper.

"You don't know him; I doubt I do but … I just know ok? I can't tell you for sure he'll be coming back but I know he will help. One way or another. Just trust me for a change will you?"


	22. Resurrection

**Note about Borr : It is common all around the world for leaders to be connected to gods no matter the religion. There are many ancient kings who were believed to be half gods or originated from a divine blood line. I wanted to use this on this story for reasons you will found out. So Borr has nothing to do with Odin's father or whatsoever; his family is believed to originate from the All-father in the old religion and thus, as a descendant, he took the name Borr, from Odin's father. **

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Half of a man

Resurrection

"_My dear friend,_

_I'm so happy that I finally tracked you. Please do not harm the birds; they had orders from your mother to inform me and only me when they find you._

_I'm glad I heard you were alright and that you try to recollect your pieces. I was really worried when you disappeared like that; everyone was. They searched for you but after the first few days, Frigga told them to stop. She said that you would come when you were ready and that we should give you time. I guess she knows you better; you have been her son for the past two thousand and some odd years._

_We've moved to New Mexico; Fury says it's the safest place to test phase two. If something goes wrong and the attack comes before we're ready, the desert will be our friend. The tests are surprisingly good and I'm optimistic about this but the calmness and the serenity of the desert frightens me. It's like waiting a huge storm…_

_Anyway, your mother returned to Asgard to inform the King and the other realms of this world. We are going to need all the help we can get. Thor stayed behind though, to help us. My family arrived a few days ago and Tony has been arguing with Pepper ever since. It's a pity you're not here; you would be thrilled to meet my siblings._

_I hope your quest is going well and that you will find what you are looking for._

_I miss you my friend and I hope your answer will reach me soon._

_Don't worry all mail is safely received by Alfred, no one is looking._

_Be careful,_

_Your world savior_

_PS: She's still looking for you."_

Loki read that letter every morning since the day those talking crows brought it to him. They had been a happy surprise and he was thankful he could talk with his friend to New Mexico.

Frigga had been right; he was willing to return, willing to help. Every day that passed he was more determined to do so but… he wasn't ready.

Borr had given him a home in the middle of nowhere. There was not another human in range of miles. He was thankful for that.

He got up every morning and practiced, physically. He had to build his muscles, to be in perfect condition if he wanted to win this war. It wasn't just a war with some unknown monster; for Loki it was a war with himself that he couldn't afford to lose.

Some days he went hunting, some of them, Borr would accompany him. Other than that he had a garden in which he grew vegetables and fruits. He found it quite calming taking care of the plants; watching them and studying them.

After lunch he would get his nose inside those books and he would learn as much as he could. His memory was coming back slowly and painfully. Healing was a painful procedure.

He tried to cast spells on more than one occasions. Some of them turned to be a total disaster, like starting a fire. He had succeeded in small things though, like moving his books and unlocking doors. He was pretty thrilled when he had done it for the first time.

It meant that he had been a prince for real!

That he had been a criminal for real…

He was still very confused about that part. He hated himself, for many things he couldn't even name. He even resented that sketch of Nancy's that showed him, with his long black hair as a blue skin creature with a bunch of tattoos.

The nights that the feeling was too overwhelming, he was disturbed by dreams of THAT woman. They were soothing dreams and… *uhg* passionate at the end. He knew he shouldn't have those dreams, that it was wrong.

She had betrayed him after all but… every morning he read that letter he watched anxiously at the door as if she might come in any second. When his hopes would crash and he would jump back to reality he would take a piece of paper and a pen to write a new letter for Millie.

He always wrote the same letter; a different one every time.

"_My dear friend,_

_I am glad to hear from you also. I was wondering how things were going for you after my … disappearance. I must confess to you that I really had no intention of leaving in such a way neither did I understand how I got my self in my current location. I would inform you about my current settlement but you would allow me to be extra cautious; your messengers will find me either way._

_I am truly disappointed I missed the chance to meet your siblings but I promise you that I will make it up to you. I am following a path of self recognition, trying to learn about my true heritage and to recollect my memories. I have to admit I have made some progress and I am comfortable that soon I will have answers._

_I will not lie to you, my friend, that I am not afraid. Nightmares of my past life haunt me every night but again, they never really left, did they?_

_I have decided that I will help you to keep your home safe; for no one's sake but yours. You befriended me and helped me when I was nothing but a beggar to you. You even helped me when you found out the truth. I really appreciate it… I am not sure that I deserve the honor to call you friend but I am happy to have that privilege._

_Thank you for stopping their search for me. _

_Keep me in touch with your progress on the field._

_Answer me soon,_

_PS: She hasn't found me yet; make them to call her back"_

It was the version he finally sent Millie after many writing one too many letters.

He gave it to the crows and went outside for his morning run. The weather was still cold but the snow had melt and the sun was bright. He returned after an hour or so to attend for his meal. He took some veggies from the garden and noted those that needed extra attention. After a quick shower he got the rest of the ingredients out of the fridge and laid them on the counter.

Cooked meat with vegetables; they had cooked that together, he remembered.

Leaving the fire do its business he picked up a book from the coffee table and laid down. When he had first settled in, he had been so eager to re-discover his abilities that he used to read magic books all the time. After a few accidents, one including fire too, he realized he had to leave magic for moments less dangerous than cooking. When he was outdoors perhaps

After reading human history, geography and science he resided in literature. He was currently reading a play by a well – known yet dead poet named William Shakespeare. He figured he must be important because Borr's library was full of him. So, Loki was currently reading Hamlet which he found quite interesting.

There was something in that whole crazy, melancholy prince avenging his father killed by his brother to get the throne and queen for himself that felt confusingly familiar. He sympathized the prince, found his words inspiring even "who calls me villain?" but… his mind was screaming at him every time he read the uncle's line.

Now, he strongly believed he was one evil bastard of a character but at the same time he didn't hate him, mostly because reading about him made him distaste and hate himself.

Long agonizing nights of no sleep had provided him with dreams about his suppressed memories. He had tried to kill his brother…

Or hadn't he? The memory was quite clear, the hatred, the attack, his harsh words and yet somewhere inside his mind there was a little voice whispering words he couldn't hear. Those words were the key. But until he could hear them he would forever be between the sad Prince and The bad King.

Finishing the book his meal was ready and he prepared to eat. That was the only time he allowed himself to turn on the TV. He didn't want to be distracted by the world, he didn't want to know if the world was ending but he felt lonely eating by himself. He did the dishes and decided to take one of his Books and hit the woods while it was still bright.

He had his special opening not very far from the shelter. He liked to keep a safe distance although he wasn't going to try anything dangerous.

Teleportation didn't sound dangerous.

He had read the chapter a hundred times before he was ready to try it. He gave it another scan before he set it on the ground to start his meditation. He found it calming.

Once he was ready he focused on the energy he felt rushing through his veins, imaging himself standing next to his book a few meters across him. He was really disappointed when he failed at his first attempt.

"I teleported thousands of miles away without knowing but when I try to move two feet I fail." He murmured again and again.

After an hour or so decided to abandon his efforts and revise some of his newly found spells, like playing with the elements. He was making a small castle out of dirt when he heard the wolves approaching. The night was falling and he hadn't even realized it. He gathered his books and started walking.

As he made his way back to the shelter he noticed something weird. There was blood on the ground. At first he thought the wolves had gone hunting which made him pick up his pace but as he walked on he spotted more blood. Eventually his curiosity got the best of him and he followed the traces of blood.

He surely didn't expect what he found. There were dead wolves all over. He rolled one of them over with his foot. Someone had cut out his throat. He realized then that all of them seemed to have been stubbed.

A hunter perhaps? But what kind of hunter leaves his prayer behind? He spotted then the trail of blood leading towards the opening the shelter was. Suddenly a flash of memory hit him.

It was Her fighting a bunch of weird creatures. She had been hurt and she had been bleeding but she just kept going.

He shook his head to get rid of the memory and followed the trail. Who else could it be if not her? No one was allowed in that forest, it was the King's property and the King had closed it down for him. He knew Borr was capable of great measures no man could surpass.

_I have a very specific skill set_

That line popped into his head. He remembered that night in the park. She thought he had not seen her but he wasn't unconscious. He had been beat up one too many times to know better than to give up and let those scams cut him open with their knives. He had seen her, in her hoodie, taking them down like they had been dolls. He had caught a glimpse of her face during the fight. He had felt safe, for some reason even now he couldn't understand, and had let himself free.

The pools of blood became bigger and bigger on his path indicating that someone had being stopping along the way. He was getting closer. What would he do if it was her? He had been expecting that moment for days but he had never actually thought about it. He could let her bleed out for all the things she had caused him.

What had she caused him really? He had invaded her planet, so he was told, he had attacked her and she had done her duty to catch the bad guy, both times. She had allowed him to stay with her, if only because he had been her prisoner but a couch is better than nothing; she had allowed him to meet his current best friend, Millie Stark, even though that was a plan to compromise him and she had allowed him to hope for a better life.

That last one stung

He remembered that day; he had been so happy he had got a real job and he was making plans of his future. He would gather enough money to get a home of his own and he would get independent, a man She would respect and appreciate. He was going to propose eventually and they would live happily ever after.

Fool!

_Love is for children_

It was a phrase that never left his mind these days.

He spotted signs of someone dragging on the ground. He raised his head and scanned the place. There she was, curled down next to a tree. There was no mistake it was her in her jumpsuit and her red hair… matching her blood that soaked the ground. Before he could even think he ran next to her and turned her over. Her suit had been shredded to pieces and she was bleeding all over. Something in his head screamed that this should not be happening, she should be healing. He didn't spend much thought to it though and sprang his hands over her body while whispering words he didn't even understand. The wounds begun to heal slowly until there was no sign of them left except for blood stains on her skin.

"Can you hear me?" he asked her but she seemed to have past out. He got her in his arms and headed to the shelter.

"We should stop meeting like this Natasha."


	23. Butterfly life

**Hi, guys! Uhm, I'm going on vacations for the next two weeks and I doubt I would have access to Internet. If I find any I will try to update but I doubt I'd be that lucky so I hope you bare with me.**

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Half of a man

Chapter 24

Butterfly life

She was brought back to consciousness slowly. Her whole body was aching and her head was pounding. That wasn't supposed to happen; her healing should have caught up with her within minutes from her first wound. She remembered well where she was supposed to be. She was supposed to be in a forest in Norway, curled up by a tree but she couldn't feel any cold. There was no wind hitting her face, no sound at all.

Had she finally died and gone to hell? Why else would she be in such a pain? She had to admit it had been a dangerous fight; those creatures had sneaked up on her.

_There are not many people who can sneak up on me._

Loki… she had been looking for Loki. She paid extra attention to her surroundings keeping her eyes closed. She was definitely not in hell; the temperature was pleasant for either human or Asgardian Hel. She was inside a house, a very good house, with a bed fit for a king. She heard someone coming, heavy footsteps, male, really tall.

He had to be Loki.

He sat on an old wooden chair and sighed. It was definitely him.

"Do not pretend to be asleep, agent Romanoff, there's no use to it when you're with me." He said in his old cocky tone. Had Tom already disappeared? It had been merely three weeks.

Natasha opened her eyes and tried to sit up right away. She felt a pain piercing through her ribs and stopped. What was happening to her? Why was her body reacting like that?

After a few seconds the pain subsided and she was her old self again.

"Am I too late? Is he gone?" she asked him.

"Tom?" he asked and laughed, "Hehehe, is this love agent Romanoff?" he asked her trying to replicate their moment on the Helicarrier. But there was something different about him that told her this was not THE Loki she had fought all those years ago. There was doubt as if that moment had ever existed.

"Love is for children." She said crossing her arms.

"So it was you." He said looking away as if he was thinking. He paced for a couple of minutes before he set eyes on her again.

"There is hot water and some clothes in the bathroom." He said pointing to a white door on his right. "Breakfast will be ready in a while. We are going to talk afterwards." He said and disappeared.

Natasha opened the door to the bathroom and froze. It was a very expensive bathroom, dressed in expensive wood and porcelain. She looked back at the bedroom. The same dark wood dressed the walls there as well; there were not many furniture but she could tell those existed were handmade by a very artistic hand. The bed was huge and really comfortable, the sheets were made by Egyptian cotton and the pillows had a symbol sewed on them.

This was a wealthy man's house; no; this was actually the king's house. How had come Loki lived in this place?

She got to the bathroom, put her abused jumpsuit in the trash and got to the tub. She turned on the water and let it fill it. She was not used to luxury neither did she craved for it but when it was available she let her self free. She turned the tap off and relaxed.

She had been searching for him three weeks. She had disobeyed orders, traveled to Norway and was in his hunt ever since. She didn't know why she had thought he would be there but it turned out she was right. Maybe it was the fact that Nancy, his biological mother and the one who helped him stand on his feet again, literary, had been Norway's princess.

_A prince in three different fucking planets!_

Natasha remembered Tony saying. It seemed he was bound to be royalty after all.

_Royal pain in the ass_

Natasha didn't believe in fate but after knowing Loki she was beginning to rethink her beliefs. Letting the past aside she thought about her current situation.

She wasn't supposed to be there for various reasons; one, she had decided she would stop. She had been searching for three whole weeks, getting absolutely nothing. She thought she might be wrong after all and he wasn't in Norway, heck, he might no even have been in Earth. She had decided that while she was walking down a market street where she used to go to gather information. After she had made up her mind she decided to take a coffee and sit in a nice café while thinking of her next move; that's when the unexpected had happened.

She had sat next to a table occupied from two young girls. There had been nothing unexpected from them; they had been drinking their coffee, talking about boys and giggling so much it got to Natasha's nerves. But then one of them had said something really interesting.

"T_hey say he saved him from a bunch of wolves when he had gone hunting. He must be really courageous for His Majesty was pretty bad when they brought him to the palace."_

"_I heard nothing on the news. What about this man? Who is he? Surely the King will dress him in gold."_

"_He calls him Engel, that's all I know. He's very handsome really, tall and pale with black hair and green eyes. He has a nice rare to see too.' The girl had said and they had both giggled._

"_But he looked so sad all the time and he spent all his day inside the princess's library. You know the one who got missing."_

"_That's weird; maybe I need to get to the palace more often than just dealing with the stables."_

"_Nah, he's gone, Olav took him away a week ago. I'd bet my head he took him to the Princess's Wood house."_

That's how she had found herself near the forest that morning. She had been convinced at that second that the man had been Loki. When she had seen those weird crows flying away from the woods she had recognized them immediately. The security of the place had given her a tough time but she had gone through worse. She had traveled towards the direction from which the crows had left and tried to find any sign of human traces. The wolves had taken her by surprise. They had been really pissed; it was as if they had been sent to kill her. It had been a very difficult fight, one of the toughest she ever had in her life. There were claws and teeth everywhere. She couldn't remember much just that in the end she was the one standing. She had been seriously injured so she sat next to a tree waiting for the serum to act.

Had Loki found her in the trees? Had he saved her? She had not a scratch; the serum might be powerful but not that much. She would need more than just eight hours for the scar to disappear completely.

Had he healed her? If that was the case what did that meant for them? Had he found his old self again? No, it couldn't be, the way he had altered his question showed her he was still unsure but he was getting closer.

And what if he regained his memory while she was there? Would he remember everything they tried to do for him this past month? Would he be consumed in his hatred for her and her betrayal?

He owed her nothing after all. She had saved him and he had returned the favor.

What an irony…

They had saved one another after all.

She concentrated on her bath after that. She got out of the tub about half an hour later and rapped herself in those super soft, handmade towels. She searched the cabinets but there was no hair dryer; talk about royalty now but on the other hand why would he need such a thing. She brought his image in her head. His hair had grown a bit since she had given him that haircut. They were reaching his neck now. She liked him better that way; he looked more like a man but still nothing like the lunatic who had brought war upon their land.

Oh, here comes Shakespeare… she refuses to sound like Loki again!

She picked up the clothes and gave them a look. There was a pair of black sweatpants, a white t –shirt and a black blouse with a hoodie. She was extremely surprised when she realized they fitted her perfectly. She gave herself one last look on the mirror and got out.

Loki was in the kitchen. It wasn't difficult to spot him; all she had to do was to follow the smell. The few days they had stayed together he had offered to make breakfast quite often and she could tell he was making her favourite pancakes right then. She descended the stairs and spotted him on the far left corner as he was setting his little bench for breakfast.

"You don't happen to have a hair dryer?" she asked him.

"I don't need one. I've learned a lot of things here…" he said and dried her hair with a flick of his wrist. "…that was one of the most convenient." He added and put two plates full of pancakes on the table, along with a bottle of syrup.

"I feel more comfortable here than the table, I don't have quests. I hope you don't mind." He said sitting down. Natasha shrugged and joined him tasting her breakfast. It was divine as always.

"You've got a talent in making this, you know? Sometimes I think the world would have succumbed to you if you hadn't insisted on using an army." Natasha said meaning to make a joke but Loki's expression was blank. He looked at his plate deep in thought eating mechanically.

"Uhm… thank you for saving me." She said.

"I owed you a debt." he said.

_Is this love agent Romanoff?_

_Love is for children… I owe him a debt._

"How did you find me?" he asked her not looking at her. Natasha decided to play along for a while in order to gain his trust.

"I thought… Nancy was from here so maybe… subconsciously you craved to be in a place that made you feel safe, a place she had felt safe too." Natasha said. Loki nodded and purred some syrup on his pancakes.

"So you know… about me. I am … a prince, a real one." He said still not able to believe it.

"It seems you can't escape royalty." She joked.

"How did you get here? On this side of the forest?" he asked. Natasha looked at him. He seemed to be holding his eyes low on purpose. Did he hate her that much he couldn't even look at her?

"I followed the crows, I'd recognized them anywhere. So you were sending a message?" she asked him and he nodded.

"Yes, to Millie." He said and she sighed. Millie, always Millie. Had she known where he had been all this time? Had she known and she had been hiding it from SHIELD? But of course that was why Loki trusted her so much. Millie seemed to have an unlimited storage of second chances, plus she had inherited Tony's feelings towards authority, which were not good.

"You really like her." She said finally.

"She's the only true friend I have at the moment; the only person that truly cares about me." He answered. Natasha winced at that. It pained her to hear him say those things. His family loved him and cared about him. She… cared about him too. She had gone to Hel and back, literary, to bring him back but he would never know.

"I know" he said suddenly.

Natasha hid her surprise and looked at him closely.

"I know what you are thinking; I can hear your thoughts in my head. Is that supposed to happen?" he asked her and she shrugged.

"I don't know but the last time we met you couldn't. If you could I wouldn't be able to…" she let her sentence hang in mid air.

"… Outsmarted me." Loki said and rose from his seat taking his plate to the sink. "Are you finished?" he asked her and took her plate as well. After doing the dishes and putting them back he asked her to go for a walk. They didn't go far, just a few metres away from home to a small lake.

"I found it a few days ago. I come here whenever I practice my fire spells, for safety. I feel serene here." He said and sat down.

_Father! Father! Come and see what I've done! I did it for the people of Midgard! _

_Loki, you cannot intervene with nature, my child; there must be a reason there was no lake here._

_But father, the Midgardians complain about the water. They say it's too little and not good enough to drink. It hasn't snow for several months now._

_So be it, let it be said that Prince Loki gave this lake to the people of Midgard and saved them from thirst._

_Am I not a good prince, father?_

Loki lied down next to the lake, wearing only a black shirt and a pair of black jeans. Those memories of him came back way too often for his convenience. It felt like he was being shot by an automated weapon.

"It's a beautiful lake." Natasha said joining him on the ground.

"I think… I've made it when I was a boy." He said.

"Really? So, you have been here before?" she asked him but he shrugged.

"I guess; I don't fully remember, I only have beats and pieces of memories." He said, then paused and added "and headaches. That is not pretty when it happens."

Natasha studied him for a few moments. He looked really different from that scared and hurt man that had disappeared from SHIELD that day. He looked as if he had made peace with himself.

"Is it the healing?" she asked him.

"It is you." He said and she gave a short laugh.

"It is true." He said seriously. "I have this headache every time I think of you. I think it might be blood pressure…" he said letting his back fall onto the ground. Natasha laughed, for real this time. He tried to hide his smirk but he failed.

"Well, I didn't know that only the thought of me can cause health problems to immortal Gods." She said and let herself fall against the ground too.

"Demi god, I am half human." He said altering his tone. They stayed like that for several minutes planning what to do next. It was like a spiritual chess game that instead of pawns and Queens there were words.

Two grand manipulators wanting to crack one another. Who was to lose this time? Would it be Loki again or had he found that part of himself that can twist and bend words to his will in order to rule the world? Had Natasha gotten soft over him because of her guilds or had the Black Widow already won?

"I see a dream every night, it's always the same. It's not the one I used to have nightmares about in your apartment; that's different, it's like a memory." He said finally. Natasha turned her head to look at him but he kept his gaze pin on the branches of the tree that protected them.

"I have found out a lot of things about my origins here, I have some memories of my past life and finding my magic again it helps but for some reason I think that dream may be the key to the doors of my memories." He said and Natasha remembered her trip to Loki's mind. She remembered all those locked doors, how he craved to open them, how he had craved her.

She evened her breath trying to forget about it and concentrated on the real him.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me." She said and he scoffed. After a full minute of silence he decided to give it a chance.

"I… I am inside a glass cell. I am alone and everything outside the cell looks weird and foreign although, somehow, I know what they are." He said and she took a deep breath. She really hoped they wouldn't talk about that. She had been proud about what she had done to him that day but after their latest adventures she had buried it in her dark pages.

"I am eager although a bit frightened. I have this constant voice inside my head threatening to do despicable things to me if I fail. I am positive I won't because I have no other choice." He says and she gives his words a thought. Loki had been compromised by the Tesseract. Had it been talking to him or had it been someone else, pretty real, like the one arriving in less than a week?

"Suddenly I hear boots colliding with the floor. Someone was walking towards me. Light weighted, short, probably a woman. One name comes to my mind; Black Widow. Suddenly I know everything there is to know about her, I have her image in my head before I even see her. I know her and I have been expecting her. I am fascinated that she almost took me by surprise.

"_There are not many people who can sneak up on me.""_

"But you figured I'd come." Natasha says and they turn their heads to meet. There is a knowing feeling between them but they don't talk. She nods to keep him going and he goes back to staring the tree.

"She is you; fierce and beautiful, like death wrapped in a candy. I feel excited and push that threatening voice in my head away. I feel like playing and I decide to do exactly that.

"_After whatever tortures Fury could cocotte, you would appear as a friend, as a balm and I would cooperate."_

You ask me about some Barton, is he that blond guy that spitted on my shoes every time I crossed him in the hallway, in Millie's house?" he asked her and she nodded.

"What did I do to him?" he asked her and she smirked at the irony of the question.

"You said you expanded his mind." She said in her neutral tone.

"Yes, I do say that in the dream. I smile when I say that and I feel so much pleasure at saying that to your face. But what did I really do to him?" he asked her again.

"You compromised him; you took control of his mind and turned him against us." She said and she glanced at his face. His expression had darkened.

"You don't react at my words but you mock me instead. You call me king of the mountain. It startles me that I haven't got under your skin but it also excites me beyond imagination.

_A true challenge at last_

I repeat your words, your history all I know about you in my head and plan my next moves. I smirk as I find the most suitable words, my check mate.

"Is this Love Agent Romanoff?""

He says looking at her but she keeps her eyes up at the sky. It pains her greatly to remember that scene, for more reasons than one. The fact that Loki had actually gotten to her was the major one.

"Love is for children, I owe him a debt." She said.

"Yes, you say that and suddenly the game changes. Those words affect me more than I would have liked. Love is for children, grown ups can't love, grown ups have debts. So in my mind you had confirmed all my beliefs. I couldn't love anyone, no one could love me. Those who claimed to care for me did not love me; there was only a half finished bargain between us." He said making her jump upright from her position.

She could never have thought that her phrase, the one she used to protect herself from his sharp words could have caused such a train of thought in his crazy mind. Without her knowing, she had enhanced his craziness and his cruelty by confirming that love didn't exist in the real world. Well, no surprise he couldn't believe Thor's speech on family love and all.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" she nearly yelled but Loki looked at her apathetic.

"I don't know, I am only telling you of a dream." He said and she sighed. She wrapped her arms around her legs and nodded for him to continue.

" _Oh but I like this _and I really did; I liked you. You had covered your king by sending me off to re count my pawns. A good match, strong player, nice ideals, I need it to know more.

_Tell me_

I sat to give you the comfort of a regular discussion. You seemed to be co operating. It took me by surprise for a moment but I thought I had made a move. You start talking, boring me to death saying things I've heard dozens of times before. About your skills, your former life, the second chance Barton gave you. You looked relaxed and carried away. I kept that information for later. I studied you for as long as you had been talking. You looked grateful at him for giving you a second chance but at the same time you knew it was no life changing experience. Same thing different boss. He was the one important to you. So, even after revealing the truth about the world to me, you still refused to see the truth. I decide to up the game, see what you're made of, to crack you.

"_Your world is at stake and you bargain for one man.""_

"Régimes fell every day, I tend not to weep after that; I am Russian or rather I was." Natasha says, remembering her every word.

"Tricky attack against my queen; you used to be Russian and I used to be Asgardian. Lives full of lies and manipulation.

_And what are you now? _I kept asking my self that, I still do. Suddenly I saw my self in you. I heard you say something about ledger and I snap. You got red in your ledger, well mine was gushing red. I had gotten tired of the game, it was no fun anymore. I would go back to the plan but first I would make you weep. I would make your cold mask of professionalism and superiority fall. I would show you who you really were. A liar and a killer just like me." His face was really harsh now and it reminded her so much of that day.

"I speak and speak, revealing the truth, giving it to you raw and bare but you don't flinch. No, you are used, you are used to turning a deaf ear to all of that, it's what I do but it gets to my nerves. I forget the plan and I just want to make you scream in horror, I want to show you who I really am; to remind me who I really I am.

_I want touch Barton, not until I make him kill you, slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear and then he'll wake just enough to see his good work and when he screams I'll split his scull!_

Satisfaction

It was the only word describing my feelings. I saw your face twisted in horror. I had won; I had returned to my true self again, I had shown you the truth.

_Monster_

That word just seemed fit. I was a monster truly, a Frost Giant, hiding under the Asgardian form. They were harsh savages, liars, killers, and monsters. That is what I really am. For the second time that night you had given me the truth.

You had confirmed my every thought. I had reached my goal; devoid of all that was false, of my old questioning self you gave me the mask to continue. The key to my kingship.

_You brought the monster"_

"I had thought you meant Banner, that it was your plan to unleash him." she said.

"I only remember you thanking me with a smirk on your face and me feeling confused and angry. I guess it had been one of my plans but not the main one. You were the main plan. That much I can regain from the dream." He said. He looked so calm, like he had been saying just another story. Natasha looked at him confused.

What did he mean by saying she had been the main plan?

"What had been the plan?" she asked him but he shrugged.

"I don't remember; to me it's only a dream. You hold the memory in your head." He said and paused for a full minute. "It seems to be a memory that frightens you." He added.

"I was sent to interrogate you. You had followed us rather willingly that night. We knew there was something wrong about it, that you had some kind of plan. Fury sent me because he thought I could manipulate you. However now, I don't know who manipulated who in the end." She said. She waited for a response but Loki remained silent. He was watching the leaves waving at the spring breeze thinking about a million and one things.

"The plan had been to make you feel superior, to give you a false sense of safety towards me. Arrogant men like you always underestimate women. I knew you would assume I was in love with Clint and I had planed my response.

_Love is for children_

It's something I learned when I was still a child. It comes as a reflexive actually so it wasn't really that hard to use it, to make you think I was in denial. It worked, maybe not the way I thought it would but you confirmed it now. I had no intention to make you believe my lies, let alone enhance your craziness." She said as neutral as he had been.

"Lies?" he wondered.

"Love is pure and unconditional. When one feels true love one does not know why, one does not care, one does not see right or wrong, black or white, one just loves." She said and glance at Loki who had sat upright and looked at her confused. Natasha mimicked him, sitting up and looked at him waiting for him to speak.

He looked around thinking before his eyes settled on the lake.

"I thought I could feel only hatred. I remember wanting to hate everything in the world. When I woke up I wanted to hate you. I wanted to convince myself that I loathed you for what you had done, that I should take my revenge on you. One night as I was thinking of various ways to hurt you I remembered doing the exact same thing on a barren moon only it had been the world I loathed. At that moment I realized I never really hated anything except my self. All I had ever felt was pain, unbearable pain. Do you know why?" he asked her not looking at her.

"Why?"

"Because I want to hate those who hurt me but I can't stop loving them." He said, closed his eyes and faded in his golden light.

* * *

**So, that's it for now folks! See you again in two weeks or if it is God's will a bit sooner. ;)**

**Until then, keep calm and love Loki**


	24. Special, not weird

**Back to Athens and back to work! The sea cleared my head and now I'm heading towards the finishing line. It's quite a road but at least I'm seeing the end. I hope I can finish this before lessons starts because then I won't have the time to update regularly and we all hate that.**

**So, two chapters back to back and I hope it was worth your waiting.**

Half of a man

Special, not weird

"_You are weird." The little girl said. It was a beautiful day, like most days in Asgard. The gardens were a wonderful place to play with trees and flowers and all the hiding places. Several women were sitting in the gazebo near by talking and laughing. Children were running around pretending to chase away Frost Giants. _

_The girl before him was really small, probably a few decades old for an Asgardian, not more than four if a human saw her. She had long golden hair and she wore a pretty yellow gown but in his eyes she looked menacing._

"_What do you mean weird?" he asked her._

"_You do magic, small children are not allowed to do magic." An older, ginger haired boy said. _

"_You are just jealous because you can't." Thor said._

"_But he doesn't like to fight or play with us, he does magic all the time and spends time with his mom; mom's boy…" a blond boy said enraging him. _

"_Hey!"_

"_You just don't like the fact I'm taller than you and better at everything." Little Loki said._

"_Oh, you can run faster than me with all your long legs and everything. I'm certain that will be pretty handy if you ever meet Frost Giants. You would run like a little girl." The blond boy said._

"_My brother would never run, he's a fighter and we're going to erase those monsters together, like father did, aren't we Loki?" Thor said smiling. Loki looked at him and nodded hesitantly. _

"_You don't like fighting, hah?" a black haired boy said. Loki did not answer._

"_And you say he is a prince. He is weird, he can't be a prince. I mean, look at him; His hair is black and everyone in your family is blond. You don't even look alike; aren't brothers supposed to look alike?" the girl said._

"_I'm special" Loki said._

"_What are you saying, Sif?" Thor said._

"_Look, it's a dragon!" some child yelled and everyone turned around to see the apparition flying over them and then fading. When they looked back down, Loki was gone. _

_The night was already upon him when he thought he should go back. Sif had alerted him with her words. She wasn't the first to say such a thing; he had heard other kids talking about him too. _

_He was so angry at them. They shouldn't talk to him like that. Wasn't he supposed to be a prince? Isn't that what his mother told him all the time?_

_Loki, you're a prince, you can't act like that._

_He was just angry because there were times he looked himself in the mirror and tried to find a resemblance to his family but he always ended up with nothing. _

_But the worst part was… that he felt different and he hated that!_

_He looked around and thought about going home to his mother so she could hug him and tell him that everything was going to be alright._

_No_

_He was going to prove them wrong. He was going to prove them that he was worthy of the name Odinson. _

_He walked away from the lake and towards the forest. He would fight a monster and bring it home like his father often did. _

_Yes, that should do it, not even Thor had done it. _

_He walked very carefully looking for his victim trying to keep his fear away. He was not afraid, he was brave. He seemed to be walking for centuries when he heard a groan. He could feel its hot breath on his neck. He froze for a moment wishing for his father and brother to be there for him. He turned around trying to identify it. It was big, a lot bigger than him, with white fur and big teeth._

_A biglesnipe _

_He had seen one in his books. He knew what it could do to him. He swallowed hard and grabbed a stick from the ground. With whatever magic he knew, he made it sharper and stronger. The two of them looked at each other for a very long moment. Loki took a deep breath raised his arm and threw the stick._

_The biglesnipe's roar filled the forest and Loki was running before he even knew it. He could hear its heavy footsteps as it hunted him and the low branches of the trees breaking. It's hot breath never left his neck and he thanked the Norse for giving him such long legs. _

_The roar was filling his ears and his tears blocked his eyes. He took a few turns right and then left as he had heard older children saying when telling about their first hunt. He tried to think about his next move, any spell that could help him; he couldn't run eternally._

_Then it happened_

_He tripped and fell_

_He saw the biglesnipe going directly at him with his big mouth wide opened._

_He held his breath and then…_

_A blue light came from nowhere_

_The biglesnipe was gone, killed, laid in front of him like a good hunt._

"_Loki! Are you al right, my son?" he heard his father asking. _

"_Father!" he yelled and bolted up into his arms. His father was there and everything was going to be fine._

"_Everything is fine, you worried us all. Why did you leave like that?" Odin asked him._

"_I… I… they were making fun of me. They said I was not a real prince, that I am a coward and weird and cannot be Thor's brother." Loki said. Odin looked at him and sighed._

"_That was not reason for you to scare us like that." Odin said._

"_I was angry and I wanted to leave so I left. I wanted to prove them that I am strong and brave like you and Thor." He said. The All- father sighed and put his hand protectively on his son's shoulder._

"_Loki, being brave doesn't mean getting killed. I was afraid I was going to lose you tonight." The king admitted._

"_You did? I thought kings are not afraid." Loki said._

"_I am afraid for you, your brother and mother that someday I may lose you." Odin said. Loki looked at his father thinking._

"_You do not mind that I can do magic or that I do not like fighting?" he asked and Odin laughed._

"_Every one of us has their gifts; you my boy are special." He said and got on his feet. Loki grabbed his hand and followed him._

"_You don't mind that my hair is black and I'm so tall?"_

"_No"_

"_But you all have blond hair, why mine is black? Why am I the only one with green eyes? Why don't I look like you?" Loki asked. Odin gave it some thought before answering._

"_We do not know why we are the way we are but there is always a reason. Besides you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age and I am certain that I am not going to like it." he said making the small boy laugh. "And if you want to know, that look you give your governess when she says something that you don't like, is the look my enemies are most afraid of." The king said and they both laughed._

"_I think I like you father; maybe we can get along." The small boy said making his father roar in laughter as they approached the horse._

* * *

Loki woke up in the middle of the night. He knew where he was supposed to be. He was in a shelter in Norway with Natasha Romanoff. There was food for exactly two days in the fridge and several letters from Mildred Stark on the counter.

He knew where he was

He knew who he was supposed to be

He knew what he was supposed to do

He got up, grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a note. He grabbed Nancy's diary and walked outside. He took a good look around him. He looked up in the sky and yelled.

"Good Heimdal, open the Bifrost, I'm ready to go home!"


	25. Back to the start

Half of a man

Chapter 26

Back to the start

The force of the Bifrost and its bright colours made Loki dizzy. It had been a long time since he had used it. Once he stepped on solid ground he fell on his knees trying to catch his breath and stop the world from spinning. Slowly the golden observatory filled his vision and he stood up to admire it. Memories flashed before his eyes.

_Is it madness? Is it?_

The former observatory had been destroyed… by him and his brother. This was an exact copy of the old one, but it would never be the same.

"Loki" he heard a deep voice calling him. He looked around and saw the familiar figure of the Guardian and his golden eyes that saw every corner of the universe.

_Well, not every corner_

Loki reminded himself.

"Good Heimdal, thank you for allowing me to enter the realm. I must speak to the King but no one must know I am here." He said walking lightly around until he found himself on the gate that led to the city of Asgard. It was exactly as in his dreams… exactly as he remembered it, with all its glory and the pitch black sky with all the galaxies pinned upon it.

"No one but the King will know you are here." The Guardian said. Loki turned to leave but stopped. He looked at the repaired rainbow bridge remembering the last time he had been upon it, or rather hanging from it.

_I could have done it father._

He remembered all the rage and hatred that had blinded him; the power that had come upon his hands unexpectedly, the guilds, the satisfaction of being a King.

"Heimdal…" he said turning his head around to face the keeper. "… I apologize for attacking you and using the Casket against you. I was blinded by anger and greed, I am truly sorry." He said.

The Keeper looked at him and straightened his back.

"Welcome back, my prince." He said. Loki nodded at him acknowledging his recognition and faded into a golden light.

He appeared in his old chambers, right next to his desk. He couldn't risk being seeing by anyone, for all he knew he was a fugitive or still locked up in the dungeons suffering under the serpent's venom. He took Nancy's diary out of his back pocket and placed it on his desk.

Everything was exactly as he had left it. All of his books had been scattered around, his sketches… he bent down and opened a secret hold from under his desk were he kept his notebook with all his schemes. He had written every joke and mischief he had come with over the years; all of his experiences were in there, along with the recent plan of destroying Jotunheim. He read his crazy thoughts and conclusions shaking his head.

Nonsense

He put it aside and walked around. His mother must have preserved it like that, hoping that one day he would come back and everything would be as they used to be. But things had change. He could not go back. He had suffered a lot and he had lost himself in the process.

There was only one thing for which he was certain. He was going to destroy Thanos and any plan he might have and he would do that without him going anywhere near Midgard.

He had an epiphany, yes. He wouldn't say he remembered everything but the pieces missing were quite small and maybe insignificant at the moment.

He had seen a dream, a nice dream after a long time. It had been a memory; he had felt lost at first and so angry but then there had been a warm feeling surrounding him at the end. He had been happy.

So, what had gone wrong?

That had triggered his mind. In a blink of the eye the box had been opened and he knew exactly what was going to happen. He could hear Thanos telling him his plan; he could hear himself thinking the next step.

He knew exactly what he was going to do but first he needed to talk to the All – father.

His father

"Oh, my boy!" his mother's voice startled him. She must have used the secret passage that connected their rooms because the huge, wooden door would have been heard. She came directly at him and suffocated him in her arms.

"Oh, Loki, my boy, my son, my precious little boy." She kept saying caressing his hair and back.

"I am here mother, I am here." He said feeling a great burden leaving his shoulders.

Mother

Yes, this was his mother and she loved him and he loved her.

He felt so good being able to admit it and accepted it. It felt so good being in her arms, so right and safe like the small boy who's hiding in his mother's chest to hide himself form the big, bad world.

"Are you al right? Do you remember? Heimdal told me you came…"

"Mother…" he said taking a step back and grabbing her hands to free himself. He gave her a small, genuine smile and kissed her hands before letting them fall on her sides.

"… I am fine. I remembered something very important and I need to speak with … the All – father." He said catching her disappointment at his choice of words.

"Does it have to do with the attack?" she asked him and he nodded.

"Please, mother, I really need to speak to him immediately. I know it is a God forsaken hour but he must wake up just like you did. There is no time." He said letting his desperation affect his voice. Frigga nodded and caressed his cheek one last time before she left.

Loki walked to the big table situated behind the door and with a flick of his wrist he presented a bowl with fresh fruits, two cups and a bottle of wine. He never liked meadow. Waiting for the king to come he walked to his wardrobe thinking if he should change or not. He was still in his midgardian attire of black jeans and T- shirt. Finally, he closed the wardrobe deciding that letting the King see him for what he'd become over the past year might work better for his plan.

Sensing the mighty god approaching by the same passage as his mother had, Loki grabbed the diary from his desk and came to stand right next to the table.

_Here we go_

The family portrait disappeared, leaving a dark hole in its place filled with Odin's figure. Loki looked at him preparing for what would come. He hadn't seen his father since his trial. The image of him that haunted him while he had been in Midgard had been the one of him standing before the throne in all his glory and armor and mighty aura that surrounded him as he had stripped him from his Asgardian face.

The man before him, seizing him with his eyes was a lot different. He looked tired and troubled with his golden robes failing at hiding the paleness of his face.

It couldn't be time for the Odinsleep again could it?

He would not let another conversation in the middle because the old man was too weak to withstand it. No, they needed to talk and he needed him at his best for what he was about to do. They might as well never talk.

"Is the Odinsleep near? You look tired." Loki said crossing his arms before him in defense. He needed to be as cold and tough as Natasha would be in her interrogations.

Natasha…

"Are you worried about my health?" Odin asked him in the same distant tone he had used as he let himself enter the room.

Loki scoffed as he rounded the table and came to stand next the chair.

"There is a very important matter I need to discuss with you and I am not willing to start if you are going to pass out in the middle of it… again." Loki said in a neutral tone. That comment was meant to hurt but he was proud he didn't let his emotions show.

Odin was as good as his son at keeping a masked face. Loki had to grant him that.

"No, I am not waiting the Odinsleep to come yet; it is matters of the realm that keep me awake and tire me." The king said and grabbed the chair opposite to Loki so he could sit. "I see you have prepared for a long talk." He added.

Loki nodded and sat down, too.

"I am willing to let this talk last for as long as it takes but it needs to be done and it needs to be done now." He said pouring some wine in the glasses.

"I am listening." Odin said.

Loki looked at the older god trying to calm his nerves. He didn't know what to expect when he arrived at the Bifrost and he should admit to himself that the welcoming was better than he could have hoped. However, this old man, sitting before him after all he had done, after everything that had been done, acting as if nothing had happened was infuriating.

Then, Loki noticed his father's posture. His time as a homeless guy that struggled to survive in the hostile streets of New York kicked in.

Straight back, eyes seizing him, trying to read him, his chair a little bit too far from the table…

He hadn't come as a father to talk to his lost son; he had entered that room as a King willing to hear an insider, an informative.

So much the better

"I have found my memory again; I'm sure you were informed about my state in Midgard." Loki said and Odin nodded in agreement.

"I know what Thanos is going to do. I believe these are the matters keeping your majesty awake." He said smirking.

"Thor has informed us about the upcoming threat, yes, and we have been preparing for it." Odin replied.

"Thanos had, stupidly, informed me about what he was planning to do after he got the Tesseract. It is not a nice plan and I can assure you that his current movement has nothing to do with his hunting for me. If anything, I would be the cherry on his huge birthday cake." Loki said and paused trying to read the man. He didn't seem to betraying a single emotion to him; neither trust nor distrust.

"And I am certain that said cherry already had a plan against its master." Odin said testing the waters. Loki looked at his glass. He tasted it a little and then let it back on the table.

"No" he answered and it seemed to surprise the older god.

"You seem genuinely surprised." Loki said grabbing one of his favourite fruit and playing with it.

"I know you Loki; you keep your thoughts like a valuable treasure in a small chest inside a bigger chest, inside a bigger chest and no matter how many chests one opens there are always more but the sincerity in your answer, I must admit, surprised me." Odin said.

Loki nodded

"No matter what you think of me, and I must say that it is all true, I had been compromised, taken under the spell I had put my own minions. Ironic, isn't it?" the young prince said tossing the fruit in the air and catching it with his familiar smirk on his face.

Odin did not answer but kept watching at his younger son, trying to read him.

Suddenly Loki's face got serious and he let the fruit down.

"I have a plan now…" he said "… and you must help me." He said looking at him. Odin nodded without a question. He felt the weight of his son's fate already on his back. Those big, green eyes that had captured him from the first moment they had spotted him in that temple were now looking at him with such intense, like they were piercing into his soul seeking the answers to his question.

"What plan do you wish to accomplish with my help?" the mighty god asked him.

"It is not yet time to tell you but I ensure you it would be for all our sakes. The war that comes upon us is great and the enemy cannot be defeated, believe me I know. Asgard will fall and Earth will not stand a second attack." Loki said and for the first time that evening he saw his father smirk.

"You sound like you have much to lose." The King said. Loki looked at him surprised. He struggled to find the right words to say reminding his father of the little kid he used to be trying to cover for his mess.

At the end, Loki took a deep breath and gave up. There was nothing to hide. He had come here to get answers and he needed to be honest if he wanted his father to tell him the truth.

"I do." He said making Odin sink into his thoughts. There was a pause between them in which Loki grabbed the chance to read his father. He had relaxed in his chair, had tasted his wine and seemed to be thinking hard.

Now they were getting somewhere

"There are pieces of my memory that I have not retrieved; pieces that are connected to my past life and all the events that fuel my anger towards you. This makes me weak and can give Thanos a way to compromise me again… even without magic. I need my mind to be clear with no doubt and no lose ends, in order for this plan to work. It is for this purpose that I needed to talk to you tonight. I need you to fill the blanks." Loki said catching his father's attention.

The older god seemed confused and troubled. Loki was right. Their last conversation had been interrupted abruptly and they never got a chance to finish it. It had been no surprise that the young god had gone mad with whatever assumptions he had made in his head having only a part of the truth.

He had been too late and he never got a chance to save him.

"What do you want me to do?" Odin asked him.

"First, I need to know the truth, all of it; no short cuts or edited editions."

Odin looked at his adopted son. He had been right when he had said that Loki had prepared for a long night. But, was he ready to reveal the truth? Did he even know what the truth was after all these years and after everything that had happened? Really, how had they reached that state of distrust and rival? It was only yesterday they had walked away from that biglesnipe joking about glares that made the enemy shiver.

The golden god took a zip from his wine and prepared to speak.

"The battle had been nearly over. We had practically won. The city had been ours, the palace had been ours and only Laufey remained to be found. I walked to the temple believing he had been hiding there along with his powerful relic waiting for me. There is no doubt that should he had been there I would not be standing in front of you now." Odin said.

"One way or another" Loki added. If Laufey had killed Odin, he wouldn't be there either; he would have died in that temple.

"True, but Laufey was nowhere to be found. The Jotuns guarding the temple were not even a challenge. I gave them a chance to leave, to save their lives but their loyalty stood above their self preservation, I have to give them that." Odin said.

"Loyalty to Laufey? I thought he was some kind of tyrant." Loki said.

"It is true that as a king Laufey was not very wise or democratic but it wasn't Laufey they had been loyal to but the Casket, the force that kept their home together." Odin said and paused for a few seconds. "However, now that I think about it, it might not have been just the Casket they had been guarding, given what else was hidden inside the temple." The older god said eyeing his younger son. Loki looked at him confused and kept that question for the next step of his plan.

"All in all, they did not survive and I entered the temple. I was impressed by it, I must say, it had been a piece of art; so mystifying. The casket had been right there, in the middle, waiting for me. I could feel its power calling me; I nearly touched it but you… saved me." Odin said. Now Loki was really confused. Odin smirked and grabbed the same fruit Loki had been playing a while ago making it peel it self and split in several pieces. He laid upon a plate and ate a piece.

"I wanted to touch it, to feel its power run through me, I was curious and vain but as I had stretched my hand ready to do that lethal mistake I heard something weird; a child's cry."

"You would have died if you had touched it; it is only meant for Jotuns to use it." Loki realized and Odin nodded.

"Yes, realizing that, I came out of the Casket's spell and walked towards the sound. I climbed the steps and there you were; a bundle of blue flesh and black hair crying, desperate to catch someone's attention. You were so small for a giant's offspring, so small and defenseless just left there in the middle of a war with no one to take care of you, to feed you or keep you safe."

"Abandoned, left to die" Loki quoted Odin's words from their first talk. Odin eyed him and continued.

"I took you to my hands and you stopped crying. You looked at me with those mystifying red eyes like you were piercing down my soul, asking me if I would abandon you too. You were no different from my son, blue skin or not, you were just a child. At that moment, it was like someone had taken the black curtain away from my face and I could see clearly what I had done. All those people that had died during Laufey's invasion in Midgard, all those Asgardians that had fallen, the mothers and wives and children left alone, all those Jotun that had died for a King's vanity, it was meaningless. War is meaningless. Peace was the only thing worth fighting for." Odin said emptying his glass.

"I noticed your marks from the first second I saw you. I knew who's son you were, I knew you were the heir to the throne of Jotunheim and you had saved me before you had even met me. I would not abandon you, even if you were just a baby lost in the dangerous mountains of that realm I would still bring you home but you were our chance to a peaceful world." Odin said and stopped sensing that the young prince wanted to comment on his tale but Loki actually bit his lip and tasted the fruit Odin had sliced up. The older God surprised by his son's self control and genuine interest in hearing his side if the story, continued.

"At that time I thought I could change the feelings of the Asgardians towards Frost Giants through you. You were adorable and I was certain you would win every heart in Asgard as you had won mine. I would teach you all of my knowledge and prepare you to claim your birthright in the throne of Jotunheim as a rightful and wise king who would use the power of the Casket wisely." Odin said.

"So, what happened? Why did you mask my true form and raised me in a life full of questions and lies?' Loki asked.

Odin sighed. He looked at his glass thinking of how to proceed.

"You were very sick when I found you. I had to take you to Asgard, to the healers but I could not just bring a Jotun prince to Asgard. The war had just finished, the wounds were still open and I had to form a plan before I show you to the world. I tried to give you an appearance similar to ours so no one could question me when I said you were my son. However, when I casted my spell, your body worked in its own accord. You had that little part of humanity in you that troubled me but then I saw the mark on your back…" Odin said surprising Loki for the first time.

"You knew I was part human? You knew who my real mother was?" the young prince asked him.

"I knew you were part human and I knew where you originated from. You belong to my blood line Loki, one way or another, you are my blood" the older god said smiling. Loki sat up straight in his chair looking into the void. That had been old news. Borr had told him they were tales saying they originated from the All- father but wasn't always a tale like that? The royal family that originated from the all mighty god and such staff? However, hearing Odin confirming it made him feel weird.

So his father that was not his real father was in reality his ancestor.

"You always thought too much Loki; let your mind rest for a moment. We are still in the beginning. What I am about to tell you is a secret I haven't even told your mother all these years." The All father said catching the young god's attention.

"When I brought you here, I got my most trustful healer to attend to you. At first I tried to deceit him and tell him you we had found you outside the palace, but Alzar was too smart and unfortunately father of one of my greatest warriors, Alzarer, who had been killed in battle. As the days were passing and you were not getting better, I had to tell Alzar the truth in order to help him understand the situation. I stripped you from your Asgardian form and let him tend to you. I never imagined what would happen next." Odin said and decided that this part needed a gulp of wine. Loki was all ears, obviously frustrated about this small pause.

"Fate was on your side that night, my son. I had had a weird feeling since the moment I left you alone with the healer. I knew Alzar's story and no matter how faithful the man had been I could not shake the feeling he would take his revenge on you. I got up that night, to check up on you. As I was walking down the secret hall to this very chamber in which I had hidden you I heard a scream. I ran and got just in time to see Alzar holding a knife in one hand while his other one was hanging on his side, blackened."

"A frost bite" Loki realized and the older god nodded.

"You had been lucky you had your original form and you had the chance to defend yourself even at such a tender age." Odin said remembering every minute of that dreadful night.

_He ran to the chamber seeing Alzar holding a knife while his other hand hanged on his side useless._

"_Alzar, what are you doing?" the All – Father barked._

"_I am ridding us of Laufey's bastard. I will not allow another one from that monstrous line to live." The healer had said._

"_Alzar, put the knife down, Loki has done nothing to you, he is just a child. He is not responsible for his father's mistakes." The King tried to reason with him while thinking of a way to save the baby._

"_Loki? You named him already? Has this child blinded you, All – father? Can't you see he will grow up to slay us all and bring chaos to the universe just like his father has? He must die!" the healer said and attacked Loki with his knife. _

_Odin was faster and knocked him out with an energy ball. He ran towards the crib and made sure Loki was not hurt. He approached Alzar and bounded him with his magic. _

"_One day, my son will be a wise and just King and then I will take you out of the dungeons to realize what you were about to do." Odin said to him._

"_You have brought a great evil inside your house my King and I hope you realize that before it is too late." Alzar said before Odin sent him to the dungeons. _

"He was right; you had brought a great evil inside your house." Loki said getting up.

"I thought you wanted the whole story with no short cuts. Sit down, I am not finished." Odin said. The younger god eyed him and sat down again. He had to do this; he had to gather all the information he could.

"That night, was the first night your mother saw you. I never told her what had happened in this chamber but I think she might already have known. We agreed Asgard was not ready for you yet and so we covered you once more. The following years proved us right as three more attacks took place. You were too young to remember off course but we actually almost lost you twice. Your mother was scared. We could not risk exposing you before you were strong enough to protect yourself. You must understand Loki; every time you and your brother left the palace you were in twice the danger Thor could ever be." Odin said.

Realization hit Loki.

The younger man got up and started pacing around letting his memories and thoughts consume him. All those times he got lectured and punished just because he had followed his brother outside the walls while Thor got as much as a warning, was because they had been afraid he could have been killed?

All those fights he had had with his father over the fact he preferred studying and practicing magic rather than practicing the art of war, was in fact because of Odin's fear he might not be able to protect him.

Suddenly a blurry image came into his mind and a horrifying feeling consumed him.

"Someone had broken into my room; a woman. She had tried to suffocate me." Loki said in a calm voice. It was a foggy memory; probably form his early years that his mind had locked away because the fear it brought him.

"You governess." Odin confirmed.

"You realize now the danger in which you were every single moment of your life. You needed to become stronger, wiser, to think things through before you act. You needed to learn how to protect yourself more than Thor, more than anyone in the realm. I am sorry if I had been harsh on you my son and I am sorry if you thought I favored your brother all these years but what I did was necessary to keep you alive; for that I do not apologize." Odin said.

Loki embraced himself trying to sort things out. Everything had gotten so complicated.

"What I don't understand is why you didn't tell the truth when I got older, when I would be able to protect me from the world." Loki said. He felt Odin's eyes on his back but didn't turn around. The lights of the city calmed him down and god knew how calmed he needed to be at the moment.

"There were various reasons why I kept postponing the inevitable. You had grown up learning to hate Jotunheim and be afraid of Frost Giants as every other child in Asgard. I was so focused in keeping you safe I forgot about the other aspects of bringing you up, like keeping stories like that away from you. Thor and his dreams were not good counselors either. By the time you would come to age I was afraid of your reaction to the truth. When Balder's accident happened…" Odin said letting his voice trail. Loki stiffened and fought to keep his mask intact.

Balder, his brother

He had killed his brother.

He had only meant to help him but everything had gone wrong. After all these years he realized it had been the Jotun in him that had killed his brother.

"I killed him but I didn't mean to. I… I… I only wanted to help him. You had told me… but I thought you… you were underestimating me as always, I never thought…" Loki said and felt his father's hand on his shoulder.

"I should have told you then why I didn't want you to help him. It was not your fault you couldn't control your true power. You had no idea what was within you. I should have told you. I lost two sons that day." Odin said.

"I never forgave myself and I know you hate me ever since." Loki said and felt his father grip tightening upon his shoulder.

"I never hated you Loki, I can't hate you; you are my child. Every mistake you make is my responsibility and Balder's accident was more of my doing than yours. I never forgave my self for that." The old man said and returned to his chair emptying his cup again. Loki turned around watching him deciding to keep a safe distance.

"I realized then your true power. I got scared, I won't lie to you. You could not handle your true power and as your abilities in magic grew I was afraid you might have another accident." Odin added.

"So you thought that disapproving my studies of magic would keep me in line." Loki said bitter.

"I could only wish for it. You were always a rebel, trying to cut the ties especially after Balder's death. You clung onto the only thing that defined you since you had been a boy and would never let it go. I could not tell you the truth after that. I knew the consequences would be dreadful. You would realize what had happened that night and you would have gone mad. I fought on what I thought was right and I saw you distancing yourself from me every day. You were slipping from my hands and along with that from my protection. I got desperate and stepped on every mistake you made to point to you that you had to listen to me but that brought the exact opposite results." Odin said sighing heavily.

"Your brother was always a lot more easy to deal with; straightforward, hot headed but you were a walking enigma."

"A chest inside a chest" Loki said smirking.

"When you brought Sleipnir I was more than shocked. I never saw it coming and then Hela. I knew then you were about to walk down to dangerous paths. I tried to stop you but all I did was to push you more into it and then to cover my mistakes as a father I told my self it was Laufey within you that guided you." The All father admitted.

Loki looked at him with eyes wide open. So, he had given up on him way before the incident on the bridge. That thought hurt him like a stab in the heart but he swallowed it with pride and regained his cold, neutral demeanor. He had requested the truth after all.

"The truth was that I saw a part of my self in you and I was afraid. Thor had grown to be bloodthirsty and vain; you were manipulative, always seizing a situation by its benefit to you. I had failed as a father." Odin said.

Loki walked away from the window and stood next to the table. He grabbed a fruit and started playing with it.

"I went mad when I found out the truth; when you passed out I though I had killed you; that you would never wake up. I thought that I had done it again, as I had done it to Balder. Everything had gone so wrong and mother was the only one in the palace who trusted me to be a good king. That's what I wanted to do, be a good king, do what is right and prove you wrong. I wanted to prove you that no matter if I was a Frost Giant Asgard would always come first." Loki said surprising the old king.

Odin looked at him with one eye wide in realization.

"That's why you made the deal with Laufey? So you could kill him, saving me and prove to everybody that you were loyal to me?"

"Everybody wanted Jotunheim off the map, father, I thought I was doing what everybody wanted. If I destroyed Jotunheim there would be no doubts about my loyalty, no signs of my origin and even if someone was to discover my true nature they would have nothing on me. I would be free to rule Asgard in your side." Loki said regretting every thought he had ever made.

What had that plan brought him if not pain?

"I am sorry my son"

"You claim to love me, to know me better than everyone and be sorry for what I have done but you had no problem to disown me, to push me into oblivion as I hanged over the abyss. For all the things you have done I do not think I will be able to forgive you for that." Loki said revealing his greatest pain, the proof that his father had never loved him.

"I will never forgive my self for that, Loki. I believe you know how it is to be haunted by your nightmares, to wake up in the middle of the night trying to escape your thoughts." The mighty god said.

Loki nodded. Of course he knew. He had spent the past year trying to survive the screams of his victims and every nightmare that haunted him without even knowing why they had been haunting him in the first place.

"It had been a miscalculation." Odin said feeling Loki's eyes wiping him in the face as they met him with high speed and force. His green orbs narrowed in disbelief as Loki tried to connect that information with the guilty father he had been talking to a few seconds before.

"I know it sounds cold but it is the truth. I forced my self out of the Odinsleep in order to stop you. I got there just in time to grab your brother as he grabbed you to save you from the abyss at your feet. You reminded me of that boy I had saved from that biglesnipe all those years ago but then you talked. You had a very twisted version of the truth in your head. I had to right it. I never thought you would leave your brother's hand. I thought I knew you; I believed you would come up on the bridge and try to convince me I was wrong. Things would be tough from there and you knew it."

"I did not take the easy way out!" Loki interrupted him. Odin looked at him willing to let his son express the anger he knew he had been keeping all this time.

"Do you know what it feels to hang over your oblivion and realize that you are truly alone in the world? Do you know how it feels to not know who you are? To have no family? To fall? I kept falling into a complete nothingness, I was watching the stars go by until they were but shining balls, I heard the universe singing to me and all of my nightmares coming towards me and I had nowhere to go! I was no one! I was nothing! Do you know what it feels to be nothing? And then there was someone who was willing to let me be someone… and I was too weak to object." Loki said disappointed with himself. He let his body fall on his chair and looked outside the window. Should he tell the old man what had really happened in that moon? Was it really necessary?

He gave a small laugh troubling his father. He glanced at him and let his gaze return to the eternal city.

"Ironic isn't it how history repeats it self? I had been abandoned and left to die by one father and then I was abandoned and pushed to my death by another father; and every time someone saved me I became a bigger monster." He said.

_Not when Natasha found me, not when Millie found me…_

He shook those words from his head and returned to his plan.

"Monsters do not have guilds, Loki." Odin said.

"It doesn't matter. Thanos took advantage of my hatred and pain and compromised me. He showed me all those wars in Midgard, people dying and convinced me that what they truly needed was a King to relieve them from their free will. He relieved me from mine to prove his point and it had felt so good. I felt no pain or regrets for what I was doing because simply it was not my decision if I would do it. I just enjoyed the ride. I was foolish and weak. When I woke up it was already too late. There were so many things at stake to go back." Loki said.

"It is never too late…"

"Tell that to yourself." Loki stopped him before he could finish. The young prince took a deep breath and apologized.

"We have not much time. Tell me why did you help mother take me away from your punishment without telling Thor?" Loki asked Odin surprising him once more.

"I know her; she would use all of her weapons against you before she conducted any dark magic. Plus there is no magic to outstand your except perhaps mine." The young god said smirking.

"After we lost you the first time we were all devastated. Your mother was mourning, your brother was taunted by nightmares calling your name and spending days in your chambers. I had my own share of guilds to withstand. The news of your return brought contradicting feelings. Your mother and brother were certain they could bring you home and thus I used dark magic to allow Thor to come to you."

"What more than that?" Loki asked him smirking.

"The Tesseract was in stake as well, no need for motives to be analyzed again. Having the burden to punish you for your crimes with an angry Asgard on my back and Azard's words in my head I did what a fair judge would do." Odin said.

"Exposing me in front of all of Asgard?" Loki said bitter.

"Asgard would never accept you for what you were but for once that came pretty useful. I would never let them connect your face, the face of their prince with that of a murderer in the dungeons. I might as well let them think of that criminal as a Frost Giant and blame your atrocities to that." Odin explained.

"You made me a favour." Loki said in irony smirking.

Odin gave him a disapproving look and went on.

"Thor accepted your punishment eventually but your mother could not. She spent day after day trying to relieve you. One day she came to me really upset saying that if you remained in Asgard one great evil would take you and would torture you to death. Your mother never reveals her visions but I knew she would not lose another time. When Thor found out he yelled and fought with me to let you go. I love you Loki and I would never want anything bad to happen to you." Odin said trying to read his son's expression.

The young prince was deep in thought.

"We decided to keep it a secret because it was too risky for anyone to know. I never got to the dungeons. Your mother is strong enough to bide your powers and cast the redemption spell all on her own. She put a clone in your place and kept going with her routine so that no one would suspect what was going on. All I did was to set you free." Odin said.

Loki got up again and paced around the room.

"But things did not go as you had planed." Loki said.

"No, but it turned out to be for the best." Odin said.

"I will be the judge of that." Loki flipped pacing around. Suddenly he stopped and looked at his father.

"I think I need to sleep on your words. You should do the same. You need to trust my word when I say that I will confide my plan to you in the morning." The young prince said.

Odin got up and looked at his son.

"I trust you, my son; it is your plans that have always troubled me." Odin said.

"Well, you can sleep knowing that this plan will be the most troublesome of all." Loki said doing anything but putting the All Father at ease.

The golden god, eye his son and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Good night my son, we will speak in the morning." He said and walked towards the passage he had come.

"Good night, father." Loki said making the old man smile.


	26. Secrets revealed

Half of a man

All secrets revealed

Loki got off his Midgardian clothes and decided to put on his Asgardian attire as a Prince of Asgard. The golden glow was all it took him to be clad in his leather mixture of gold and green. One look at the mirror made him pause. He looked every inch like the God of Mischief and Fire he used to be. For a moment he stood there thinking about his different faces within time.

Prince Loki of Asgard

King Loki of Asgard

Fallen Prince Loki of Asgard

Loki the villain

Loki Laufeyson the traitor

Thomas Kent, a homeless guy

Tom the trickster friend to Millie Stark and in…*ahem whatever it was* with Natasha – Not Natalie- Romanoff.

Loki the prisoner

Loki the secret prince of Norway

And now he was Loki the Prince of Asgard once again … maybe for the last time.

The young God locked the door to his bedroom and shield it with his spells. Having done that he turned around sat behind his desk watching the city below him.

He closed his eyes and let his mind go away.

…

He was before a familiar gate. Most people would be shaking just by the thought of it but he didn't mind. There was a time he would come very often and admire the handiwork of the bone build gate.

He was in Hel once more

He always thought Hela had found her place in the world when she had become Queen of the underworld. She was uncomfortable among the living so …

He regretted having abandoned her when he had started planning his revenge, though. He had been very young and foolish when he had had her but that did not excuse him for his mistakes as a father. It was not like there was anyone else around to take care of her.

For a moment he let himself go back to those sleepless nights when she had been a baby and had oathed to never let him sleep. She had been a very active baby for a half dead one.

"What brings you in the land of my Kingdom, Odinson?" he heard her ominous voice as the gate opened.

"Ehehe, princess…" the God of mischief laughed as he walked down the path that crossed the River of Death towards Hela's throne. "You shouldn't use that frightening voice to me. Besides I am the one who taught you how to do it." he said stopping before the dark alley he knew Hela was.

"I see you have found your disrespectful self once again." The queen of Hel told him in the same ominous voice. Loki shook his head as he paced around; that girl was always a little more like Odin than him when it came to rules.

"I guess the red headed woman managed to find you." She added. That caught Loki's attention.

"What red headed woman?" he asked. "And for Odin's sake show yourself we can not discuss this way." Loki added.

"I will decide whether it is worth to reveal myself to you or not." Hela said.

"Ehehe, I always knew you were kind of shy little princess but I thought that after a millennia you would be over it." he said smirking.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT? I AM THE QUEEN OF HEL; I AM NOT YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS ANYMORE!" Hela yelled in a voice that seemed to come from the depths of the underworld as a light appeared above her to illuminate her position.

"Oh, by the stars that shine within your eyes princess, you made your father deaf." He said smirking, faking the ache in his ear.

"You are not my father." She said in her deep yet normal voice.

Loki looked at her, finally. She had not changed much since the last time he saw her, many years ago. She had his black hair and green eyes, her skin had a touch of blue in its paleness and he was certain she would turn in a more frightening Jotun than him if she got really mad.

"Yes, I am. I am the one that gave you life, the one that created you inside your mother's womb and the one that was kept awake by your non stopping cries when you were a baby." He said laughing internally at how much like Odin he sounded right now.

"Yet, you let Odin sent me here, in the shadows of the underworld." She said in a cold tone.

"I fought, you know I fought for you but you wouldn't be happy in Asgard either so…" he said but Hela interrupted him.

"What is it that you want… father?" she asked him sounding every inch like the Queen of Hel she was.

Loki started pacing again glancing at his daughter occasionally.

"That red headed woman you spoke of, who was she?" He asked her.

"She was your enemy and your lover, your past and your future, your doom and your salvation." She answered making him groan in frustration. He hated the way the Mysts always spoke in riddles.

"Was it Agent Natasha Romanoff?" he asked. He already knew the answer but he needed a confirmation.

"Indeed, that was her name." she answered.

"How did she get in here? What was it that she wanted?" the young prince asked Hela. The Queen of Hel gave him a picture of his own smirk and short laugh.

"She was sent by the Queen of Asgard to retrieve information of how to awake you from your curse." Hela answered.

"What?"

"How to save you…" she added and she took pleasure in her father's lost look as he paced up and down trying to figure everything out.

Natasha had gone to Hel and back to find a way to save him. She had actually passed the gates no man was ever meant to pass twice, for him.

To save him

Why had she done that?

_That was my first murder…_

_He tried to save you…_

_Let's see who the most damaged one is…_

_Will you remember anything when you wake up?_

One after the other the images flashed before his eyes. He held his head in hands trying to ease the pain back. What had happened? Why were these images there? How had she found herself in his memories? Why did he have her memories in his head?

He blinked twice and stood straight.

He could remember having her in his arms, her soft lips upon his, her flesh coming alive in his skilful hands.

"Did you tell her how?" Loki asked but he didn't need an answer. He already knew. She had been in his mind. He didn't know how or why but she had gotten in there and had pulled him away from the shadows.

No, he knew why. As he stood there replaying every minute of those ethereal intimate moments they had spent together in the dreadful world that was his mind he knew why she had done it.

He knew why she had kept him close, why she had helped him to get a new life and why she had not given up on him while he had been miles and miles away from her.

It wasn't guilds.

_Is this love, agent Romanoff?_

_Love is for children._

But maybe, just maybe this once they could make an exception.

"Agent Romanoff is not the reason I visited you." He said retrieving his neutral tone. This was it. He had to do it now more than ever; the most important step for his plan.

"I know it; you have a request and I wish to hear it." Hela said smirking at him coldly. Oh, sometimes he just wanted to get up there and ground her just like when she had been little. He really couldn't stand the cockiness of some Mysts.

"I wish to speak to King Laufey and Nancy, the princess of Norway." He said.

"And why is that?" Hela asked him.

"Well, you are the one with the gift of the All – sight, you should tell me." Loki said and it was his turn to smirk at his daughter's angry look.

"I know and I shall tell you just this once that the path you have chosen is deadly and no return is certain." She said.

"Yes, yes I know all that." Loki said wavering his hand in the air showing his impatience. "Will you let me talk to them?" he asked her.

"Princess Nancy is not in my realm." Hela answered cold with authority as she straightened her back.

"I knew that as I know that you can pull some strings so that I can talk with her. Don't forget who taught you everything you know, princess. I know exactly what you can do." Loki said trying to convince her. She was a stubborn little pain in the neck, just like Odin.

Oh, by the All – father, how had his daughter ended up like his father? Where did it go wrong?

"I will grant you your wish but note that. It is not because I am your blood neither because I applaud your suicidal plan. It is because I have seen within the slots of time that no matter the outcome of this any other action will be the doom for us all." Hela said.

The Queen of Hel raised her skeleton hand and formed several circles in the air muttering words in the dead language of Hel. With every circle she made a golden ring was formed more powerful than the previous until the ring became as big as a mare. There, inside it, he could see the fields of Heaven or Valhalla, he wasn't sure which. From the depths of the field he could see a dark figure approaching. She became cleared with every step she made until Loki could recognize in her face the woman that had taken care of him when he had needed her the most.

Nancy Guttenberg, lost princess of Norway and his Mother by birth

"Oh, by the nines, I knew you would make it back, my boy." She said. Her hair was white and the green eyes that ornamented Loki's and Hela's face had lost its sparkle but he could still see that woman in the portrait inside the Norwegian palace.

"Nancy Guttenberg… princess of Norway" he said approaching with every nod she gave.

"My mother by birth" Loki said and halted.

"It is great to finally meet you my son." She said.

"We look very much alike." He said.

"Yes, we do." The old woman said. Loki took a moment to see her before he turned towards his daughter.

"Laufey, now." He said. Hela narrowed her eyes at him but knocked her spear on the ground before she called for the dead king with her deep, frightening voice.

The Jotun King rose from the River of the Dead and halted at the sight before him.

"Oh, a family reunion without Odin's eight legged horse?" he mocked. "It wouldn't be fair."

"Shut your mouth. I will ask the questions and you will give the answers. Time is of essence." Loki said regaining his serious demeanor. The dead Frost Giant scoffed but with a soft move by Hela's skeleton hand his hands and legs were bound forcing him on his knees.

Loki smirked at his daughter before looking back at his biological father. He took several steps towards him with the air of an Asgardian King and reached for the giant's ear.

"Kneel before the runt, now." He whispered feeling the air of absolute pleasure entering his lungs.

He walked back to his previous position so he could take a good look at both of his parents. How had they gotten together, really? But the biggest question of it all was…

How had he ended up reaching the age of two millennia if his mother had given birth to him no more than thirty years ago?

"How did you get your hands on her?" Loki asked Laufey. The Jotun King looked at him obviously irritated by his disrespectful manner. Well, that was something that ran in the family…

"I ask, you answer…" he said in his low voice.

Laufey looked at the Queen of Hel and then at Nancy.

"There is an ancient prophecy which claims that a Jotun King born by the line of Odin will make Jotunheim ruler of all the nine realms." The Frost Giant said.

"That explains your vanity for power and victory against Asgard not why you got your hands on her." Loki said looking as cold as ice. I guess it was only fitting.

"I wanted an heir strong enough to win the war if I failed; one that would fulfill the prophecy and rule all of the Nine Realms. I could not lay my hands upon a random girl of the Asgardian palace." Laufey said and smirked. "It had to be her, someone with strong will and mystifying powers that would make my son as much a powerful sorcerer as he would be a warrior. I had planned everything right. She was supposed to do this by her own will, away from the war and I needed the stars to be on my favour." Laufey said.

"How did you do it? How did you get ahead of time?" Loki asked him.

"With a little help, the same one you got." The Jotun King said.

Loki looked at him, arching an eyebrow but the dead Frost Giant just kept smirking.

"There's nothing for which you can boast, Frost giant. You are in Hel, sent here by my hand. You have failed." Loki reminded him.

"Answer the question, peasant." Hela said obviously taking great pleasure in tormenting the former King of Jotunheim.

"He had the Time gem and he said that the only way to beat the All – Father was by transferring the war into a timeline that the All – Father was weak. I was not stupid; two birds in a one stone." Laufey said.

"But you only got one bird." Loki said.

"Well, I needed to create an heir now, didn't I?" Laufey said and Loki felt disgusted by his cocky smirk. He turned to Nancy with a grimace of wonder.

"Why would you ever follow a beast such as him?" He asked her. The old woman smiled kindly to him, not even once looking towards Laufey.

"He wasn't a beast when I met him and I knew what I was supposed to do. I wanted to meet you, my son." She said.

Loki retrieved his talk with Borr. Yes, Laufey must have presented himself to her as a human. If he was a shape shifter, so was his father.

"You had dreams of me." Loki said and the princess nodded.

"You were my gift from the Gods." She said.

"So, you just traveled through time and space with a complete stranger." He said making no sense of her words.

Was she crazy?

Well, that could explain his own tendency to madness.

"You cannot understand. I knew him. I knew who and what he was before he would come to me. I had seen him in my dreams; I think I had even loved him because he would give me the most precious thing I could ever have." She said but then that glow left her face.

"Reality was cruel." Loki said trying to read her. The eyes that met him reminded him more of Hela's cold stare than the look of the good woman that had helped him stand back on his feet.

It was the look of the Queen of Jotunheim.

"I became Farbauti, first Queen of Jotunheim as I carried you inside my womb. Your power kept me safe inside the never ending winter. I saw creatures that would intimidate even the bravest man in earth and I lived through the worst war I never wish to see knowing I was on the enemy's side. I endured all of that so that I could hold you in my arms and make you the man that would bring peace to this world." Nancy said.

Why did everyone assume he would make a great peacemaker? All he ever wanted was to be the troublemaker. Well, that reveals the truth about parental knowledge.

"He took you from me the moment you were born not even letting me see you! But I knew… I knew what the stars had written down for him." She said. Loki watched the dead woman seethe in anger before he turned towards the Jotun King.

"Well?" he asked him.

"A runt… I had planned everything in perfection, I had followed the prophecy and all she could give me was a runt? And after all I did to make sure you could become the Jotun you were supposed to be she cries and screams that one day you will be my murderer." He said but Loki did not get a chance to comment.

"You took him away so you could try all shorts of spells and poisons, any secret ritual you knew to make him bigger and stronger. You were torturing him not realizing how magnificent he was! I could not let you play with my son and have him slaughtered just because you were blind!" Nancy screamed at him.

Loki looked confused between the two of them.

"You took me to the temple?" Loki asked surprised.

"It would be the only place no one would be able to touch you. I had been studying sorcery and he made the mistake to help me find whatever little sparkle had been left in me. I made sure you would be safe." She said and Laufey's roars could be heard all around Hel.

"If I had known then what you would happen later, I would have let both of you rotten inside that temple." Laufey said.

"Oh, you mean your failure, misery and inevitable death?" Loki mocked him.

"It was your fault!" The Jotun King growled and made an attempt to rise in his full height but Hela brought her spear in front of her to make him kneel once more.

"If I had not spent so much time and energy trying to create my supposed to be -all mighty- heir; I would be able to confront the All – Father and I would have won." The frost giant said.

"Well, that just shows how much of a pathetic and stupid creature you are. You chased after a prophecy as a dog chases after the end of the rainbow instead of going into that war as a King." Now he actually sounded like Odin.

"You are pathetic and weak. You don't deserve to be called a King; you are the ant beneath my boot." He said looking to the Jotun's red eyes.

They stared at each other with the Jotun King unable to speak. Eventually Loki took a few steps back and looked at Nancy. He could guess how the woman had found her way back. He knew Odin had beaten Thanos one too many times before so that must have done it. The All – Father had retrieved the stolen relic and had undone whatever magic had done with it. Thus, he had been left inside the temple all alone with no one to care for him until the King of Asgard had found him.

What would have happened if Nancy had stayed with him? If Odin had found both of them in that temple? Would things have been easier for him and his plans or would have things turned out different?

He shook those thoughts out of his head. It wasn't time to add more questions to his mind. He needed answers to fill his blanks.

"You knew who I was that night, right? I… I remember you saying an ancient prayer above my head in the hospital, a spell." Loki said deciding to ignore the frustrated giant for the moment.

"I knew and my heart ached as I saw you bleed that night. I thought I would never see you again but deep down I knew… I knew New York would be the place. When I saw those monsters fly over the city I knew you should be there somewhere, I just knew. I searched for you but I did not find you until that Night… Oh how frightened I had been that night, thinking I would lose again before I had found you. You were dying but I knew that my fate was to give you life… once again. So I did, I gave you as much of my life as I could and I tried to help you become a man again but I was so weak… So weak my son, forgive me." Nancy said.

Loki looked away remembering those terrifying moments as he struggled to understand the world. He remembered being bombarded with sounds and images that made no sense at all. How he tried to communicate, to sort things out but he didn't know how. In those agonizing moments of his new life, Nancy had been there for him.

"There's nothing to forgive, mother." He said feeling weird for saying that word to another woman except Frigga. Frigga would always be his mother but this woman who had sacrificed her life for him deserved to hear it just once.

Loki turned to his daughter giving her a full smile. The cold hearted Queen glanced at him but she couldn't keep the smirk of her face. The truth was never pretty but it was out in the open for once and now Loki had no doubt.

This was no fairy tale were a trail of misdeeds and misunderstandings had ended up to the prince's torment neither it was the dark story of hatred and disgust Loki had assumed it would be. It was as everything life; a little bit of black and a little bit of white.

He knew now where his loyalty would lie; where it always did and always should be.

He knew now. He had been used and hated but he had been loved and cared of as well. As he put those two on scale the good side won.

Damn, he never liked the good side, it was always so boring!

But he knew what he had to do and for whom; for his family, his friends and the woman… he loved.

He turned towards Laufey and smirked.

"Now, tell me how I become King of Jotunheim."

**For those who don't remember, Nancy comes from Odin's bloodline being a princess of the north thus her powers**

**The next chapter is dedicated to Natasha**

**just a few chapters until the end now... stay tuned!**


	27. Slipped through her hands

Half of a man

Slipped through her hands

_She was sitting on the banc of the lake. It was a bit cold but nothing her Russian self couldn't handle. The sky was grey and the yellow leafs of the trees were following slowly around her. Everything was so silent, so peaceful. She was running her hand inside the water up and down, up and down, never feeling the cold in it._

_Suddenly she felt a hand on her back. Someone was pushing her into the lake. She raised her hands and grabbed the intruder's shoulders in order to send him flying in the water but it was too late. He grabbed her tight and let his weight do the job for him. _

_The water was not so cold and the moment she had found herself in it she felt the assaulting hands disappearing._

"_Ehehe, that was fun. I tricked the Black Widow into a lake." Loki said laughing._

_Natasha surfaced and tried to take the water off her eyes._

"_Are you crazy? Do you have a death wish?" She said trying to catch her breath._

"_I thought we had established that" He said smirking but she was not fooled. She kept looking at him quite angry._

"_You look adorable when you are angry." He said. That was it; the man wanted to die. She hooked his leg underwater and sank him with no warning. The young God managed to surface and sank her instead before she punched him lightly to release her. _

"_Puny God beaten by a girl." She said laughing as she made him go under water once more. Loki grabbed her waist and brought her underwater as well, crashing his lips upon hers._

"_Is this the definition of a breathless kiss?" Loki asked trying to catch his breath when they surfaced._

"_I don't think most people think of a breathless kiss as a suicidal one." Natasha said smiling. Loki shook his head violently to get rid of the extra water._

"_Hey, hey, you royal pain in the ass, keep that water to your self!" Natasha said blocking her eyes with her hands._

"_What do you care? You're still wet…" Loki said smirking. Natasha eyed him and smirked before reaching out for him again. _

"_Because someone threw me inside the lake." She said placing a stray raven lock behind his ear. She looked into his emerald green eyes and let herself get lost in them. His hands wandered low, really low, getting a good grab of her thighs as she hooked herself around his waist. _

"_Maybe you should punish him." he breathed against her neck sending shivers all over her back. _

"_Maybe I should" she says breathlessly. His lips touched the sensitive skin and she buried her hands in his wet hair. She could feel her heart beating one thousand miles an hour as he captured the lobe of her ear and kissing along her jaw line._

"_Did you finally stop thinking?" he asked her sucking at her bottom lip while his hands roamed under her shirt._

"_No, I'm thinking of your punishment." She said and moaned as he left a mark on her collar bone. _

"_It should be something slow and torturing." He whispered breaking the buttons of her shirt with his teeth. _

"_It most certainly will be…" she said but her next breath was cut as he buried his face in her chest. The feel of him along with the water was overwhelming._

"… _maybe tie you against a tree… naked…" his hands reached the hem of her jeans once more. "… blindfold you and have my way with you under the threat of a whip." She said pressing herself against him, feeling his strong muscles. His dark laugh against her skin sent her multiple waves of pleasure._

"_Ehehe, no knives or burning sticks? I would be very vulnerable to burning sticks." He said rising to attend to her neck again. Natasha grabbed the chance and tasted the skin on his neck. It was tender and soft with the extra slippery of the water. Loki moaned as she captured him between her teeth._

"_I don't want to ruin your ability to pleasure me, your royal badness. Feel free to add more torturing punishments in my list." She said feeling her jeans loosen as his hands roamed over the bump of her lower back._

"_Ask me" he growled with his mouth half inside the water._

"_What will be next?" she asked him trying to control her breath._

"_Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain."_

* * *

She jumped off her bed panting once more. She looked around and shoved herself back against the mattress letting a sigh of frustration fill the room. She was in her room, inside the Helicarrier, alone again. This thing was getting out of hand. Night after night she would wake up panting and frustrated from the same… sweet… dream.

Everything had started over a fortnight ago; the night she let Loki slip through her hands… again. Oh, it was so frustrating! Natasha Romanoff was never known to let anyone slip through her hands and yet this… this… royal pain in the ass of a God kept slipping away.

She thought she had him there. After all they had been through and after their talk she thought she had him. She had thought that they would be able to sort things out between them and get back to SHIELD to fight the evil aliens once again.

Oh, when did the all mighty, cold hearted Black Widow start believing in fairy tales that had a happy ending?

_Since the moment your started to believe in Prince- Asgardian Cuteness of the Year – Charming._

She groaned and buried her face in her pillow. She wanted her nightmares back; anything that would keep her from dreaming that…

She had been having the same dream the night he disappeared. She had let herself get lost in that wonderful sensation before she had heard his voice. She had always been a light sleeper; it sort of went along with the job. She had bolted off her bed, gun in hand and had been ready to run outside when a blinding light caught her attention. It had been beautiful, like a rainbow with the force of a thunder. It had lasted only a moment and then it was gone. There had been nothing but darkness and silence after that.

When she had finally gotten outside she had seen the big circle with the mystifying runes edged on the ground. She had known then that Loki was gone. She had run back inside to do the only thing she could think of in order not to let her mind wonder in every dreadful possible event that had just taken place outside her window. As she talked to Fury, explaining the situation she had found herself in the kitchen pacing in front of the counter.

That was when she had seen it; a small piece of paper with a perfect calligraphic handwriting.

_Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain_

Natasha sighed and looked at her alarm clock. It was five thirty in the morning, a reasonable hour to get up for the Black Widow. She got out of the bed and into a training suit in order to get to the gym. It was easy to sort things out when she punched a bag. Except that things could not be sorted out. The attack, or whatever it had been, had stopped a few nights after Loki's disappearance. Thor had told him that the Cintaury had attempted an attack in Vanaheim, whenever that was, but they had been stopped and vanished.

She did not like this. Nobody liked this.

Loki got missing and the attacked stopped. No, she definitely did not like this.

She got to the gym and looked around. There was not a single soul there at this hour.

Perfect

She wrapped her hands with bandages and found one of the Captain's sacs. She looked at it and for a few moments she let all her emotions to take over her. She felt the anger, the pain, the sadness, the fear and the frustration to force all of her power to her hands and legs as she punched and kicked the bag.

"You son of a bitch, you pathetic pain in the ass, you are the mewling…"

"Tasha?" someone called and she stopped throwing a powerful kick at the bag ripping it open. She took a step back and breathed heavily before Hawkeye made his self visible.

"Owo! Do I want to know who was it that you were punching?" he asked her and she shook her head. She calmed down and locked eyes with him for a few moments. Damn it! He already knew!

"I guess you don't want to ruin another one of those; Steve does a pretty good job on his own." He said as both of them looked at the punching bag.

"Shall we?" he said pointing at the ring. The Black Widow smiled and headed towards it. They hadn't fought since he had taken that job in New Mexico. He had told her all about Thor then; how he had been when he couldn't take the hammer with him. Oh, if only they had known the troubles the thunder god would put them later. (Along with his brother)

"Boots off" Clint said getting his boots off and tossing them away.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because… I want my nose" he said and hopped in. Natasha rolled her eyes and got her boots off as well. They made a few rounds in silence as they calculated their moves.

"So, what's it gonna be birdy? Offense or defense?" she asked him. Clint smirked

"Oh, I'm gonna crash you little bug." He said and made the first move. The Black Widow avoided it and tried a kick only to be met with empty air.

"You're playing hard to get." She said and took another minute to plan a few moves forward.

"I do my best" he said and grabbed her shoulders to bring her on the ground. Natasha rolled over and got him underneath her trapping him between her thighs.

"Really Clint?" she said disappointed.

"It's too silent, don't you think?" he asked her. Natasha looked at him but cocked her head on the side just in time to avoid his leg attacking her from behind. The blond man took the opportunity and shoved her off of her before jumping on his feet.

"I'm not taking that as a lost round." He said and the fight was on again, matching hit for hit.

"You feel it too, don't you Tasha?" he asked her as he avoided one of her powerful kicks. He attempted a punch but he found her behind him as she grabbed his shoulders to bring him down. The former acrobat landed on his feet and shoved her powerfully across the ring.

"That I'm beating the hell out of you?" she asked him before attempting a few more hits. Clint matched her for most but failed to see the last punch that sent him to the corner.

"No, the silence, this peace, it's awkward isn't it?" he said swiping some blood off his lips.

"It is, there must be something happening." She said blocking his attack.

"Fury is nervous too. There's nothing good that can come out of it. Then Loki disappears and …" he said but she stopped him kicking him hard on the stomach.

"Hey, I wasn't going to insult your devious prince charming." He said

"Don't be a girl, Clint; and he's not my prince charming." She said giving him a moment to catch his breath. Hawkeye faked a move and grabbed her leg to immobilize her.

"Yeah, but don't you think it's weird?" he said and stopped another attack by immobilizing both her legs. She was now upside down held by Clint.

"I mean he gains back his powers and most of his memories he sets off again in the middle of the night and all of a sudden the sadistic, evil and maniac ex-boss of his decides to hold off his plan." He says but before he has the chance to say the last word he feels her legs around his neck and he faces the ground faster than he can comprehend. When he opens his eyes again she's on top of him looking really pissed.

"Round won, Nat, faire and square." He said.

"It's not." She says.

"No, you win, I admit it." he said but she shook her head violently.

"It's not what you think; I know what all of you think but Loki has not re-joined forces with Thanos. He's over it, he's changed and I have not lost my mind." She said and got up letting her partner to take a few breaths before getting up on his two feet again.

She embraced herself and took a few steps.

"He left me a note." She said and turned around to see Clint with his eyes bulged out.

"What do you mean he left you a note? What kind of note? I love you but its best for me to disappear and let you go crazy as to where the hell I am or what the hell I'm doing?" he yelled.

"I know where he went Clint, I told Fury already." She said.

"Maybe you're wrong because Thor ain't seen him." he said and they both let out a heavy sigh.

"What the hell did he write in that note?" he asked her.

"Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain." She said. Clint looked at her trying to wrap his mind around it.

"What the…? Isn't he supposed to be a Shakespearian melancholy prince or whatever?" he asked.

"Yeah, he had been reading it back in Norway. But it's not like that. I had called him King of the Mountain so he must refer to himself by that. But honestly I can't understand it." she said.

"You believe that's the answer to our question" Clint said and she nodded.

"Why don't you tell Stark? You know the nice one not the jerk. She figured it out pretty fast last time." He said.

"I don't … I don't want it to get it out in the open. What if Fury get's it wrong? What if we get to his feet and make a bigger mess?" she said and shook her head.

What a mess!

"Attention! All Avengers needed in the conference room." Agent Hill's voice was heard through the speakers. The two partners looked at each other and nodded knowingly before departing.

Something had happened at last.

Natasha and Clint walked in to the conference room finding the other Avengers, Director Fury and Maria Hill; all of them looked pretty worried. Tony was drumming his fingers on the table, Steve was inhaling deeply, Bruce was standing in a corner all alone as per usual and Fury along with Agent Hill were glaring at Thor who looked as if he had done something very bad.

"Ok, now we're all here, spilt it out." Tony said getting really fidgety. He didn't like this at all. At first when nothing had happened he had felt relief but then all suspicions had started to dance inside his mind and being the crazy Stark he was he had gotten one step away from paranoia.

"We all know what happened with the attack at Vanaheim. It was suspiciously short and weak and ended before it even started." Fury said.

"Yeah, then this freaking peace and silence started." Clint said.

Thor looked at each and every one of them apologetically. He held Natasha's look longer.

It had to be Loki

He hadn't joined forces with the devil again, had he?

He couldn't just play her and betray her trust like that, could he?

But of course he could; she had played him and betrayed him as well for weeks. He had told her he wanted to get back at her for that.

"The attack was just distraction. Jotunheim has a new powerful king." He said sighing.

"Loki?" Banner asked and Thor nodded.

"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, he must be on our side, right?" Steve said but Thor's look said otherwise. The thunder God took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"He has changed his name and claims to have no memory of Asgard. He goes by the name of Ot'mah, King of Jotunheim. Rumors say that he was born in the Desert of Gan'mar and was raised by the spirits that reside in it." Thor said.

"Sounds like a typical fairy tale to me." Steve said.

"So, you don't know if this … King is your brother. I mean if Loki became King wouldn't he want to rub it in your face?" Tony said.

Thor shook his head violently.

"No, I know he is my brother. He came to Asgard; he broke into the vault." Thor said letting his body slam against the wall.

"Wait, he broke into the vault? Did he take anything?" Fury asked him.

"Yes, unfortunately he has and he knew how to avoid every safety measure. That is how I know he is still my brother. He may have fooled every Frost Giant in Jotunheim but he cannot fool me. If anything had happened to him again he wouldn't remember how to overpass my father's security." Thor said and paused for a few moments. Bruce was next to ask.

"If this is Loki we must answer the following questions: how did he become king and what is he trying to achieve by that, because Loki does everything for a purpose."

Everyone seemed to get into deep thought. Why had Loki become King of the Frost Giants? He had hated them until yesterday. What was his plan, what was he trying to achieve by changing his name and going after Asgard?

"They say he saved two Jotun children from a beast and that he gave water and futile land to any village that would shelter him." Thor said.

Natasha tried to put everything in order. Loki had disappeared in the middle of the night and gone to Asgard using the Bifrost. Using that he must have come across with that Gate Keeper she had heard about; said man wouldn't keep his arrival for himself, so either Frigga met him or even Odin, which meant the whole King thing wasn't a coincidence. She remembered the Queen telling her that Odin had been preparing Loki to become King of his homeland all his life. So that goal was achieved but why had Loki attacked Asgard? What had he stolen from that vault?

"What did he steal from the vault?" she asked Thor.

"The Casket of Ancient Winters which my father had retrieved while he had been in prison and… the Time Gem." He said and now everyone seemed certain of the God's betrayal.

But she wasn't. Why get into all that trouble in order to break into the vault? He was powerful enough to break into the vault all on his own that night he had left. He could even use other paths than the one guarded by the Keeper. No, there should be something else.

_Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain._

He knew that night what he was going to do. He had everything planned. If his plan was to mock her and destroy the universe, why leave a note?

_Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain._

She kept her neutral demeanor as she realized the prince's, now King, plan. Just like Hamlet he was faking in order to win this war on the inside. They knew they wouldn't stand a chance against Thano's tropes. He had stolen the Casket as every good King of Jotunheim would have done. What about the Time Gem? An act of good faith to his master? Sure Thanos wouldn't even dream of touching him now that he could have such a powerful King under his command.

But what was his plan exactly?

"Agent Romanoff, what is it that you think? Care to share your thoughts with us?" Fury said in irony. Natasha looked at him and pondered if she should tell him or not. She looked at Thor. He didn't know anything. If they had hidden their plan from him, because she was certain Loki had gotten Odin's best wishes for it, then there should be a good reason. Looking at how devastated he was she knew it. Thor couldn't keep a face and pretend even if his life depended on it.

"I'm thinking, sir, that maybe… we should take a closer look at this new king."

* * *

**Be prepared for our next stop is Jotunheim and the all mighty King Ot'mah!**


	28. King of the Mountain

**Note: Thank you for all of your reviews. Unfortunately I won nothing but this story.**

**Time to meet the all mighty King Ot'mah!**

* * *

Half of a man

King of the mountain

Natasha felt her feet landing harshly on solid ground as the colours around her faded. Her head was still spinning and that feeling of getting punched in the stomach never got away. She took a few breaths letting the cold air fill her lungs. She felt as if she was back in Russia. That long lost feeling of alertness the cold used to give her had returned. But she wasn't in Russia. She took a look around and took everything in, from the thick snow beneath her feet to the gorgeous blue forests that adorned the mountains.

They were in Jotunheim.

"It certainly looks better than the last time we came." The big warrior behind her said. They had met with the Warriors three in Asgard before they headed towards Jotunheim but she had missed their names. She did remember Lady Sif, though, the woman that had caught Loki's interest since they had been children. You never forget your first love, they say.

"I feel ashamed, my fellow warriors for all the things I've said and done against this land. My father was right, it is all vain. Look how beautiful and strong this land really is." Thor said.

It really was beautiful. They were currently in what should be a valley looking across the mountains with beautiful blue forests. Around them they could see all kinds of trees, purple and dark red. The snow under their feet was soft and every now and then they could see some deep blue grass popping out.

"It's freaking cold." Millie said getting lost under her heavy coat. Natasha had dropped the idea to visit Loki in his new kingdom offering peace and alliance more in order to estimate the situation and figure out the plan the mischievous god had in mind. But of course Fury had other plans. Loki's feelings towards her and the young Stark were not exactly a secret. Everyone had heard about their little drama story, that night in the park and the whole fighting thing. Yeah, it was a pretty good gossip inside the boring SHIELD. So Fury made sure to make good use of his two weapons and hope Loki hadn't turned into a maniac killer again.

Needless to say Tony Stark followed them suit and so did Clint. They had joined the Warriors three and Lady Sif in the Observatory and had left for Jotunheim immediately.

Time was of essence.

"You signed in for this when you jumped and yelled 'hey, alien frozen planet, yeah!" Tony mocked her.

"So, how do we find him?" Clint asked.

"We walk towards that" Sif said pointing at a huge mass of ice sculptured like a church organ.

"I thought he had more imagination than that." Hogun said and their little company started walking down the path the huge Jotun footprints had made.

They had been walking for what seemed like an eternity. Obviously the meaning of a long distance in Jotunheim was entirely different from that of Earth and Asgard.

"It's almost night; we must reach the palace before night is upon us or we will freeze to death." Lady Sif said.

"I can get two if I put on my suit." Tony said.

"And I can get one but we're nine." Thor said.

"Ok, so we are going to die in the land of Frost Giants." Clint said.

"No we're not." Millie said and grabbed Mjolnir from Thor's hand and threw it towards an ice-mount with as much force as she could master. The divine hammer broke the ice causing a lot of noise. Everybody turned around to gap at Millie shocked.

"How did you do that?" Lady Sif asked her. Millie looked at her confused but dismissed the incident.

"We need something bigger. Thor call a thunder." She said looking at the thunder god who was smiling softly at her.

"But then we will turn all attention to us." Clint said.

"I believe that is Lady Mildred's intention." Thor said and called Mjolnir back. The sky became darker and darker with every spin of the hammer as the clouds gathered together ready for the Thunder God's command. The young god raised his hand and a powerful thunder descended from the sky landing near the city. As soon as it was over they could hear the roars and noise coming from the city. Huge Frost Giants the size of a tree came running towards them. They had blue skin with weird marks on them and scary red eyes. They wore furs and skins around their waist and shoulders; some of them even had golden bracelets around their wrists. They carried nothing with them but needn't to. Their hands formed into icy blades as soon as they circled Thor and his company.

"I am Thor, Crowned Prince of Asgard and I demand to see your King." Thor barked at the Jotuns. One of them, the taller, over twenty three feet tall stepped ahead.

"We know who you are, Asgardian. Your reputation precedes you. You destroyed this land and before you your father and now you have come again to attack us and steal what is rightfully ours. Jotunheim is and always will be above Asgard!" he said and tried to touch Thor. Another one stepped forward and stopped him. This one wore a golden bracelet.

"The King said he wants them alive. We will take them back alive, Hemlock." He said. Hemlock gave the company a glare and stepped back. The second Jotun got a small rock out of a small bag and threw it on the ground. The feeling of being punched in the stomach returned.

They found themselves in a small chamber made of ice. There was no door or any opening.

"Are we inside the palace?" Millie asked.

"We're inside a cell." Natasha corrected her.

"But we are inside the palace." Millie said making her roll her eyes. The others walked around trying to find an opening but with no success.

"So we got ourselves in the mouth of the wolf." Clint said.

"Well, at least we're not out there in the middle of the night pretending to be ice sculptures." Tony said patting at the ice.

"So, what do we do?" Sif asked Thor.

"Loki will see us when he wants to." The thunder god said.

"Yeah, and if I know your brother well, he's going to let us wait for a long, long time." Natasha said and sat on the ground. Tony and the others looked at her but they kept going round and round in the cave. Millie and Clint joined her on the ground musing over Tony and for how long he could keep trying to get a way out.

After hours and hours of going around the Warriors three joined them. Thor just stood against a rock and Tony… just kept looking around.

"He's going to do that until he passes out, won't he?" Clint said.

"Absolutely." Millie replied.

"A true warrior" Volstag said.

"Yeah, you tell me…" Millie said looking at her father patting at the wall of the cave. Suddenly the wall disappeared and he almost fell down.

"Hey, I…" Tony said but he stopped seeing three Frost Giants towering over him.

"The King wants to see you." One of them said and escorted them out of the cave down the long corridor. At first they thought everything was made of ice but after being in that cave for hours they could distinguish ice from blue rock, regular rock and crystal sand.

They reached a huge hall adorned with runes and a tall door made of blue wood. Two Jotuns opened the door and they stepped inside the throne room.

It was really magnificent. It was like a sculpture made of ice where you couldn't distinguish one thing of the other. It ten times taller than the tallest Jotun in the room, it had slim columns adorned with runes, tall windows let the dawn light in causing all kinds of effects upon the ice. The floor was made of white and blue rock making an eight rayed star inside a circle.

Natasha and the others were made to stop in the center of the room. Straight ahead, a few metres away, there was a great icy stair. On top of it there was a great throne, sculptured in great mastery and engraved with runes which looked familiar to Natasha. The throne was empty but there were Frost Giants on both sides clothed in coloured veils and skins with all kinds of jewelry on them. They were really intimidating.

"Jesus, what a Diva!" Tony mocked upon seeing the empty throne.

"SILENCE YOU PUNY HUMAN!" a very familiar deep voice made the columns shake. Natasha looked at the throne and saw a relatively small figure appear behind the throne.

He was breathtaking.

His skin was pure blue like the ice that surrounded them full of the runes that adorned the throne. His eyes were bloody red instead of that mystifying green but she could recognize his penetrating look. His black hair had reached his shoulders in wonderful locks. He wore a piece of green leather around his waist and a green cape on his shoulders laced on a golden plate that protected his chest and left shoulder. There were bracelets around his arms and ankles and a golden halo with horns on his head. His golden spear completed the picture of the all mighty and mystifying King of Jotunheim.

He locked eyes with Natasha and for the first time in her life the assassin had to remind herself to breath.

"Who do you think you are coming to my kingdom and assaulting my city?" Loki said descending the stairs. He kept his eyes on Natasha until he reached the ground.

"We are sorry for that brother…" Thor said and Loki let out a roar of laughter which the rest of the Jotuns followed.

"It seems the future King of Asgard is a bit handicapped." Loki said pointing at his head. Slowly the laughter died and he looked at Thor with eyes as cold as the land of Jotunheim.

"I AM OT'MAH, KING OF JOTUNHEIM!" he said raising his hands up in the air to join the giants' roars. "If you came here looking for your brother, Asgardian, then you are truly foolish, like a child." He said glancing at Natasha.

"You attacked our city and broke into the King's vault." Sif said stepping forward. A Jotun not much taller than Loki stepped forward but the King raised a hand to stop him. He turned his back on them and walked towards the steps that lead to his throne.

"You claim that I broke into your vault…" he said "… you claim to have been robbed by what is rightfully yours…" he added and stopped right in front of the huge throne.

"You are nothing but robbers and killers." He said and touched the arm of throne. Then something really unbelievable happened. Loki became bigger and bigger before their eyes until he reached the height of a Jotun. The King smiled at the socked faces of his guests and sat on his throne with his spear in hand.

"The people of Jotunheim took what was rightfully theirs. The Casket of Ancient Winters belongs to us and your father had stolen it from its rightful place."

"You can keep the Casket but it is not the only thing you stole from the vault. We're here to offer our alliance and eternal peace for exchange of the Time Gem." Thor said.

Loki smirked and signaled a male Jotun on his left to step forward.

"Oh, but we are at war Thor Odinson and you are my prisoners." He said and they were circled immediately.

"Hey!" Millie yelled. Loki frowned and took a better look at them from above. He could see the Warriors three and Lady Sif, Thor, that bird man, Natasha, Stark and his daughter.

What were they doing here?

Well played Thor, well played.

"I could crash you with a single command, a single twist of my wrist, Odinson. I could invade Asgard now and make your golden city mine." He got up in his new Jotun height and smirked.

"Ehehe, I will let you go back to your pathetic home but with a prize." He added and moved his finger towards the red haired assassin. She was up in the air unable to move before she knew it and flying towards him. She stopped right in front of him feeling intimidating by his size.

"You are quite the treat, my dear, a fierce red fire in the icy desert that is my life; excellent for the lonely nights." He said and with a smooth move she disappeared into a blue light.

"Tasha!" Clint yelled but he was stopped by a Jotun. Loki's short laugh filled the throne room.

"The end is only beginning. That is my message to the All-Father. You may now leave… if you can." He said and disappeared behind his throne again along with the rest of the Royal Jotuns and a few guards leaving only three of them behind.

They were no taller than ten feet. The fight was over before it had even begun. As the Bifrost was consuming them Thor hoped that Natasha held the keys to the multiple treasure chests that were Loki.

* * *

**I hoped you liked it!**

**The next one is pure Blackfrost - the reunion.**

**As for Millie and Mjolnir... she's kind of the innocent here, has had a harsh life but sees the good in people and tries to make a change in the world. So, I thought that she could lift Mjolnir.**

**As for loki's surprise regarding her... a lot will be explained in the next chapter. Just think she's his best friend that's all.**


	29. Master Plan

**Natasha and Loki, the reunion!**

* * *

Half of a man

Master plan

Natasha opened her eyes slowly trying to identify her location. The ground was rough and cold but not as cold as ice. She turned around to lie on her back and blinked a few times. She was nauseated. She had had more than enough of teleportation for a single day. She focused her eyes on the ceiling in order to work on some biofeedback. Wherever she was it was nowhere near as big as the throne room. The ceiling was fifteen to eighteen feet height and there were no symbols on it. When her nausea and dizziness decreased she let herself get up and took a careful look around.

She was in a cave or, more accurately, a cave-room. The colour of the rock was blue-green and there were remnants of crystal drops around.

Diamonds

Natasha walked towards a wall and touched one. These were worth a fortune in Earth. She left the wall and walked around. There was a giant bed, a giant dresser with a desk and a chair, all made of the same green-blue rock. White and brown furs of giant animals were covering corners and pieces of the floor and the bed. She stood in the middle of the room trying to find a door in vain. Much like their prison there was no door. She doubted there was a way to get out of there from the inside.

Was she a prisoner?

For if she was, it was a very comfortable prison, the size of a football field.

Natasha crossed her arms and smirked.

_Hamlet is going to be King of the mountain_

As always the obvious answer was the hardest to find. Like Hamlet, Loki had set up this whole ordeal of turning even more evil than before erasing every piece of his former life to become king of Jotunheim. Of course, he could never pretend to have a break down, that was not his style.

_Have I gone mad? _

_Who calls me villain?_

Now although he wouldn't call himself mad, being a villain is a title he would accept with a wicked smile. Bad boys were always more interesting after all.

Focus

What was he trying to achieve with that?

If Clint was listening to her now he would be laughing. He would tell her that he was just pure evil and had finally made amends with his true nature.

Natasha didn't bite it.

That man, Ot'mah or whatever was his name, was pure Loki in action. That whole show had been planned down to every little detail from the way they would be captured to the use of the word 'child'.

That had been a message to her, to let her know what was really going on. He had been expecting them. Well, not all of them. He had been expecting her and Thor maybe even the Warriors three and Sif but she was certain he hadn't been expecting Clint and Tony and Mildred Stark to step foot on Jotunheim. That had taken him aback.

She had figured his whole plan the moment he had stepped in front of them. He had meant to mock, humiliate them and reveal his hideous plans for Asgard in every detail and make Thor or maybe Volstag attack him. His giant guards would indulge in a fight in order to protect their king and after a while, when Thor and the rest of them would have them cornered he would step forward to imprison them with a single elegant move of his wrist.

That would be what the ruthless king Ot'mah would do to the Crown Prince of Asgard. But Loki the God of Mischief would set up his brother's narrow escape for him to go back and spread the news of the ruthless new king.

That was where Millie had ruined his plan. He would never put his best friend in danger. Maybe he didn't even mean for Natasha to be there either. Perhaps her imprisonment was the only thing that he had kept intact.

He was good in improvising though; his point had been made and no one was put in real danger; three Frost Giants, not much taller than him were not much of a challenge for Thor and the Warriors three.

So, she was back in her initially question; what the hell was she doing there?

What did he want with her?

Maybe now that he had his I-do-what-I-want self back he wanted to take what Tom was too shy or too angry to claim.

Maybe what he had been wanting from the beginning.

She would always remember the look in his eyes that night before he left for Asgard. How he had been sitting in her chair the way he had been sitting in his giant throne and looking at her like the lion looks at his pray. He had that look in his eyes before he had sent her in this cave-room. It sent shivers down her spine. It was a bit late to hide her feelings for the mischievous god, especially after his late appearance.

Natasha shook her head and got back to reality. She was in enemy ground and no matter what, she should always remember that.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to organize her thoughts. Suddenly she distinguished a light sound. It was like running water. She followed the sound inside the cave, beyond the bed to the far corner of the room. There, in a big arc, not gigantic, there was a waterfall of crystal clear water. She stepped in front of it and she could see her reflection on it as in a mirror. She was only in her SHIELD jumpsuit, her furs and coats vanished. There was a small pool in front of it that gathered the water. She walked forward and touched the water. It was freezing cold.

"Lady, lady across the fall, who's the fairest waterfall?" a soft voice asked her. Natasha looked around but she could see no one.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Lady, lady across the fall, who's the fairest waterfall?" the voice asked again and her reflection vanished to be replaced by a woman's face.

"Well, I have never seen a waterfall more beautiful than this." Natasha answered.

"You are smart, red-head human, and you know what the best is for you." The woman said smirking at her.

Natasha crossed her arms and eyed the mysterious face.

"And what are you supposed to be? The good witch trapped in the waterfall like in fairy tales?" Natasha asked.

"Who said I was good?" the woman said and smirked. Natasha eyed her with equal mischief.

"I am Ydor, the water spirit. I was trapped within the Casket of Ancient Winters by the mythic king Jotun along with my brothers and sisters to provide Jotunheim with power and fertility." The spirit said.

"Who are your brothers and sisters?" Natasha asked.

"Pyr, the fire spirit; Gaia, the earth spirit; Boria the spirit of the wind and Pageton the spirit of Jotunheim's everlasting winter." Ydor answered.

"So, you were held in Asgard all these years, inside that box." Natasha said.

"It is true that your loved one has released us to our elements but a prison is a prison no matter its size." The spirit said.

"My loved one?" Natasha said taken aback.

"Prince Loki of Asgard or King Ot'mah of Jotunheim." She said.

"What do you know of him?" Natasha asked her.

"I know his past, his present and his future which isn't very clear at the moment." Ydor said.

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked.

"His voice as smooth as the water can break the strongest rock; his will strong and solid as the earth he walks upon; his passion burns him like fire; he can be gentle but also fierce like the wind and has the power of a thousand winters within him." another voice, deeper than the first said and another face appeared on the wall.

"These are the gifts we gave him the night he was born." Ydor added.

"He could rule the world" a male voice, light like the wind went through her ear. Natasha looked at them. Ok, falling for an alien prince and transporting her self into a fairy tale was completely different.

On the other hand, that was where princes were supposed to be, weren't they?

"Besides providing him with the potential of turning himself into a successful psycho, what do you want?" Natasha asked them.

"Our liberty" Boria whispered.

"The future is uncertain and liquid as water." Ydor said.

"There are things hidden from us by a great evil; if this evil succeeds we will for ever be bound to its will and the cosmos will be no longer." Gaia added.

"Thanos" Natasha said and laughter filled the air.

"Thanos is nothing." Boria said.

"You must help him succeed and bring him back." Ydor said.

Natasha looked at them carefully. They couldn't fool her just because they were magical spirits in an alien planet.

"What's in it for you? How do you gain your liberty if we save the world? You said it yourself that a prison is a prison no matter the size." Natasha said.

"She is a worthy Sigyn." Gaia said.

What was the deal with Sigyn? Wasn't she supposed to be a mythical woman or something? She wasn't Loki's wife but what was the deal with her really? Why were they calling her Sigyn?

"All your questions will be answered in time." Gaia said. Natasha frowned at her. She didn't like people reading her mind, neither an earth spirit not even Loki.

"He will find himself in a dilemma. He will need more power than the one he has in order to accomplish what he wants. We have what he wants and we are willing to give it to him." Ydor said.

"In exchange for your freedom." Natasha said but got no answer.

"Everything has a price." Ydor replied.

"Remember what we told you, Sigyn." Gaia said and the tree spirits disappeared.

Not a second later the wall on the other end of the room disappeared and two female Frost Giants got in. They wore white veils and silver jewelry.

"Natasha Romanoff, the king requires your presence." They said.

* * *

Natasha found herself in front of a huge wooden door carrying the same magical symbols as the throne room. Fortunately, her female guards had chosen to take her to Loki by foot. It had been a great distance for her but she had learned to deal with more tiring and dangerous things than an icy corridor of five miles. Of course the guards could carry her there and save all of them time but she was sure that it had been the king's orders to let her walk to him. He was really so predictable.

Now she stood in front of the big door, all alone waiting. Suddenly, the big double doors opened and she was surprised once again. The room was majestic. There was white ice on the ground creating the illusion that there was snow inside the room. There were emerald vanes onto the walls that had been sculptured to look like they were being supported by ice tree branches. The furniture was gigantic, also made of white ice and there were furs and, of course, pieces of leather, that covered some of them.

The doors closed and Natasha came out of her initial stupor. She felt so small in that room. The good thing was that there were plenty places to take cover if someone, let's say, a giant, decided to attack her. So, that brings the question; would Loki confront her as his human self or he will be the humongous Jotun King she had last seen?

"Ehehe…" his laugh filled the chamber. Suddenly, Natasha felt a strange feeling of familiarity and safety.

"Look at you, human, all alone in a foreign planet in the mercy of a savage king." He said with his deep voice but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Who is going to save you now?" he added.

"I don't think I need saving." She said trying to follow the sound of his voice. "Especially from someone who's afraid to meet me." She said trying to make him talk some more. He liked to play, so they would play.

"Ehehe… come to me then" he said and she heard a door opening. She turned around and saw a brown dot on the wall behind the giant desk. She walked towards it and rolled her eyes as she realized what it was.

"You got to be kidding me. I'm in a planet full of giants and he makes me crawl through a dog-house door." She said but she got no answer. Sighing she fell down on her knees and crawled through the door.

"Ehehe, that's where you belong, puny human, on your knees before me." He said when she emerged on the other side. Natasha looked up and saw him standing a few inches in front of her, in his normal height and royal Jotun appearance. She took a moment to swallow hard at his half naked ornamented body before she reacted at his comment.

"You can't handle me standing up?" Natasha teased him and tried to get up but she realized she was glued on the floor. Was he using his magic on her?

"I like the view" he said walking around her like a hunter does with his pray. Was she a pray? Had her feelings clouded her judgment?

In an abrupt move she was on her feet and pinned against the cold wall. The protection her suit had been giving her until then had suddenly vanished and she felt the ice burning her back.

"Soft and warm against the solid ice of Jotunheim; it makes you burn with desire doesn't it?" Loki said pressing his cold body against her. Natasha felt the cold crawling on her skin but for some reason it wasn't painful any more it was … exciting.

"You like it don't you, midgardian tramp?" he said and bit her shoulder. Natasha tried to keep her head clear. He must be messing with her head. She shouldn't be enjoying this. This was not her Loki, this was someone else.

"I would never let anyone else take pleasure on what is rightfully mine, spider." He said and the spell was gone.

"Excuse me?" Natasha said trying to catch her breath as he kept on with his ministrations.

"You are mine, Natasha, you belong to me…"

"Loki… is it really you?" Natasha asked him and he laughed against her neck sending shivers down her spine.

"I got you, Ms. Rushman" he said traveling up her neck.

"YOU SICK BASTARD!" she yelled and shoved him on the floor. "You made me think you were going to rape me! You and your savage little game King Moron of Jotunheim!" she said trapping his chest under her foot.

"I have the right to kill you now." She said pinning him with her eyes.

"Do as you wish, Black Widow, after all I belong to you." He said changing his form to his Asgardian one. Seeing his familiar face and green eyes Natasha cursed under her breath. Damn! Damn him to hell!

"I would probably have a lot of fun there too." He said getting up.

"Stop it." she said.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"Stop reading my mind; I don't know how you do it but I want it to stop." She said.

"I can not help it. You left a piece of you inside me and you took a piece of me with you. We can no longer be apart, we are bounded." He said and she looked at him with an arched brow.

"That's why you keep leaving me like a column of salt and disappearing to nowhere." She said crossing her arms. Suddenly she realized she was still naked. As soon as she thought of it she was covered with a soft, deep green gown.

"I didn't have much of a choice the first two times." He said and she realized he had covered himself in what should be daily Asgardian attire; a pair of black pants and a deep green shirt.

"Well, you surely did it the third time." She said showing the room. Having the time to look around now she realized they were in a normal size –for Loki- chamber made of blue rock and gold.

"You found me, though, did you not? You always find me." He said.

"You left me in the middle of the night in a forest in Norway with only a stupid riddle and no good bye whatsoever! After all the things we said!" she yelled.

"Is this love agent Romanoff?" he asked her smirking and caught her fist an inch away from his face.

"You're an arrogant brat."

"You are a pathetic little woman."

"Puny God" she said standing an inch from his face.

"Mewling quim." He said and crashed his lips on hers kissing her fiercely.

"I love you, Natasha" he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too, my-royal-pain-in-the-ass." Natasha said.

"That's because I like your ass."

* * *

Loki and Natasha lied on the bed covered with a heavy white fur. She couldn't believe it had happened again; actually happened this time.

It was wonderful; she surely appreciated the mind reading now. They just laid there, Natasha on his chest tracing his scars and his tribal marks that were glowing underneath his Asgardian skin due to Natasha's request.

"You want me to believe that you got pregnant by accident?" Natasha said.

"It had been more of a miscalculation. I tried to give Thor some time so I transformed into a mare to attract the stallion. It is just that the plan went a little further than I had anticipated. It was mating season." He said making her laugh hard.

"It's ok Loki, I understand." She said laughing. Loki growled and with a sudden move he trapped her underneath him.

"Do you dare doubt my manhood, woman?" he said. Natasha kissed him and arched her body towards him.

"No, my King." She said and kissed him again. Loki smiled and sat up on the bed.

"I never wanted to be king." He said.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" she asked him. Loki sighed and let his body fell back.

"That night, after we talked on the lake, I had a dream. It was a memory from when I was a child. When I walk up it was like every door in my mind had been opened and everything was back. Suddenly I knew what had to be done." He said.

"You were going to be king of the mountain." She said smiling. Loki returned the smile with a half heart.

"I went to Odin and I visited Laufey and Nancy to find out the truth. I found some things that surprised me, some that I already imagined but I made myself strong to follow my plan." He said.

"Do you want to share it with me?" Natasha asked him.

"Natasha, I am not Tom anymore. I am Loki and I am myself more than ever. You do not need to talk to me like I might snap, I am strong." He said. The red head smiled and kissed his chin.

"Malekith is the enemy; Thanos is just a pawn in this game. He thinks he is the puppeteer but in truth he is just another puppet." Loki said.

"Who is Malekith?" Natasha asked him.

"He is the leader of the black elves, the most disgusting and foul creatures this universe has ever known. Born from the essence of chaos and darkness they live to bring shadow upon this world. They had been trying for years, even under my father's careful eye but after all that happened with me… they saw their chance." Loki said.

"Do you know their plan?" Natasha asked him and he nodded lacing their fingers. She noted the gesture and tightened her grip.

"They wish to start a universal war. They had planed for Muspelheim to attack Jotunheim while the dwarfs would attack Vanaheim and the Cintaury would attack Midgard. Asgard would have to send help to Vanaheim and Midgard because of their alliance."

"Let me guess; they would attack when Asgard would be least protected and get into your father's vault." Natasha said.

"I never doubted your talent, my dear." He said and kissed her head. "I, however, got in the way. Knowing Thanos better than the back of my hand, I set up this little ordeal of kinship to 'join' his bloodthirsty purpose. He knew who I was and what I was capable of; with my new position and powers it was hard to resist. So I bought my self some time." He said. His voice was low and soft. Natasha remembered what the spirits had told her.

"They are sneaky, especially Ydor but she was telling the truth. I have found a way to end this madness once and for all and restore balance to the world. There is a cave here in Jotunheim that is said to keep the Hodnir, the spear of the mythic King Jotun that has the power to bend the spirits. With that I can banish Malekith and Thanos where time and space do not exist." Loki said.

"What's the catch?" Natasha asked him. Loki smiled and looked at her.

"There are quite a few; one of them is that it might take me years to find it even if I get to the cave and the other one is that I might die in the process." Loki said. Natasha caressed his palm and got lost in her thoughts. She was getting very sentimental on this and it was dangerous for everybody. She should be her tough self, the Black Widow and not some stupid girl who's afraid her boyfriend might die when the end of the world is coming.

She felt Loki smile on underneath her and she kissed her cheek. She knew he had heard her thoughts. She could hide nothing from him any more.

"I… I grew up in a fucked up world where there was no right or wrong. There was only the next mission and mother Russia. I learned to never get attached to anyone and anything and that love is for children." She said and turned around to look at his bright blue-green eyes. She remembered all those nights they spent together waking up in the middle of the night from a horrible nightmare. She remembered all the things they had been through to get there.

"For the first time in my life, I have things I am afraid to lose and it scares me to death. Loki, I don't want to lose you. We deserve a chance after all we've been through and really, there are times I think that maybe we should just step back and make use of whatever time we have; it sickens me." She said. Loki hugged her tight and tried to soothe her by rubbing her back.

"Calm down, my little spider; no one can escape their destiny. What is written has been written. I know how you feel; if it was on me entirely I would take you and your friends even away, into another galaxy to live the rest of my days. But I know that you would never do that. You would not turn your back on your own planet; So, I have decided to do whatever I can to save this world; for you." Loki said. Natasha kissed his chest and sat up right on the bed.

"Put me in. There is no way I am going to let you do this on your own. You are too arrogant for your own good." Natasha said making him smirk. The young god tried to kiss her but she stopped him. He loved it when she was in business mode.

"I know where that cave is. In the end of this week the Jotuns celebrate the new moon. Hemlock is planning to challenge me in order to retrieve the throne."

"Retrieve the throne? Wasn't he the guard that found us?" Natasha asked him.

"He's a little more than that. He is my half brother and ex-king of Jotunheim. I took the throne from his hands. Now when he appears to…"

"How did you steal his throne? How did you become king in the first place?" Natasha interrupted him. Loki sighed and caressed his hair obviously frustrated. He needed to tell her his plan and get over with it. They were in a safe room but he couldn't risk it.

"Jotunheim was falling apart and I am the god of fertility. It was very simple to just appear in a village looking like a lost beaten puppy and make them fools believe I was a wonder man. Besides you said that I could have the whole world before my feet with only batting my eyes." He said and he smirked at her. Natasha smiled back.

"It was not very difficult after that. My rumor was spread all across the realm and into Hemlock's ears. I knew he knew who I really was and he did try to expose me but no one really cared. Take the thirsty and hungry and give them food and water, they shall follow you to death, like loyal dogs." Loki said.

"Loki!"

"So to speak, but truth is that no one really cared if Hemlock was telling the truth as soon as I touched the throne. I am the first born and I have the marks of the heir. The throne is bound with an ancient spell to protect the king. I had done my research, so all it took was one tiny little finger on ice. As you saw the result is majestic." Loki said.

"I won't argue with that." Natasha said.

"Good, back to the plan now. Hemlock will ask to fight for his throne and I have the right to set the challenge."

"That will be the cave." Natasha said.

"Exactly; I will allow one companion…"

"Me"

"Yes, and we're going to get in. Hemlock is weak; he won't last a minute in there. Time stops inside that cave, so it may take years to reach the spear without us knowing." Loki said.

"That's why you took the Time Gem." Natasha said.

"You are very smart my little spider. I think together we could rule the world." He said and gave her a slow, wet kiss. Natasha broke the kiss and tried to catch her breath.

"Let's try to save it, first."

* * *

**Did you like it? Please review! Next chapter will be completely about them, like a break before the war. I just decided to give them some time together before all hell breaks lose. One chapter or more... I don't know yet.**


	30. A day in our world

**Wow! I had a massive reviews' attack at the last chapter! Thank you all so much! You are great!**

**The unfortunate thing is that the inevitable happened, lessons started so it will take longer than normal to update from now on but I'll do my best. The next chapter is almost finished!**

**So, this is your extra chapter of Blackfrost. The calm before the storm.**

* * *

Half of a man

A day in our world

Loki was happily asleep on his bed wearing a stupid grin on his face. He felt a strange warm feeling filling his stomach and wrapping him all around. It was soft at first but now it was coming in waves; rather powerful waves like shoves and punches.

"Loki! Loki! Wake up!" she was yelling at him trying to wake him up. "Wake up!"

"Right away, dear." he murmured and turned away from her. Natasha gasped offended and shoved him forcefully with his back on the mattress.

"Loki Odinson, get your bud out of bed right away! You promised to take me on a walk today!" she said loud enough so no one could hear them.

"Oh, by the nines woman, ok! You almost punched the life out of me!" he complained touching his chest and getting out of bed.

"Oh, you'll be fine, you're just a puny god." She said and before she knew it she was pinned on the bed feeling his cold breath on her neck.

"What did you call me?" he asked her in his low voice. Natasha smirked and thought that a small delay on her plans was worth it.

"Puny God" she said.

"You think you are smart, spider? The king of Jotunheim doesn't tolerate this behaviour." He said near her ear sending shivers all down her spine.

"Is the King of Jotunheim going to punish me?" she asked him breathless.

Loki smirked and kissed her neck slowly, feeling every cell on her skin.

"Off course I am" he said and turned her on her stomach vanishing the furs from the bed, letting the cold ice touch her naked skin. She felt his hands massaging her shoulder blades before they traveled south to her rare.

"Disrespect is punished… roughly… in these grounds." He whispered against her skin pressing further against the ice. Natasha gasped as she felt his weight on her holding her tight.

"I am sorry… my king… I do deserve it." she said playing along. Loki laughed against her skin before he got up and raised his hand.

"Where is the King?! I must see him!" a voice was heard from the main room.

"Who is it?" Loki growled in a fearful voice that resembled the outlandish one of Lady Hel. It made Natasha tremble for real.

"It is I, Bolivar!" the Jotun answered. His voice was young and not as deep as the other Jotuns. It reminded her more of Loki's normal voice, not the one he used to intimidate people.

Loki sighed and turned Natasha on her back. "He was the only Jotun I liked 'till this day but now I am changing my mind." He said and kissed her. Natasha kissed him back and caressed his head.

"It must be something very important. Everyone is very afraid of you to just burst into your room." She said. Loki nodded and left the bed to change in his Jotun self. He put his royal attire on, complete in dark skin and golden horns and disappeared.

"Stay put" he told her before he left.

Once in the main room, he spotted the young Jotun fidgeting in front of the door. He wasn't as young as everyone believed but he was still a few centuries younger than Loki. Much like him, Bolivar was a kind of Jotun dwarf; only nature had not been so kind with him. He was a head and a half taller than Loki but his arms and legs were short for him and not easy to move making him look funny. Loki had met him in a village near the desert and had taken a liking in him when he saw how the rest of the village had been treating him. He had taken with him and the young man had been nothing but loyal to him. He was also very smart and good for late talks when nobody seemed to care apart their food.

"Dear Bolivar, why do you bother me at this hour?" he asked him.

"Pardon me, my king, I thought you would be awake." The young Jotun said.

"I was busy, so you have better to have something really important to tell me or I will be in the unfortunate position of getting really mad at you." Loki said. Bolivar's eyes grew big as sausages and froze. He liked Ot'mah, he had showed him respect and understanding while everybody else were using him as a clown but when he got mad, he was a Jotun he didn't want to be around.

"Yes, my king." The young Jotun said. "I… do have something very important to tell you." Bolivar added. Loki looked at him waiting but the Jotun was still trembling.

"Come on, my man, blather it out while I am still young." He said. Bolivar swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"This morning, before the frozen sun of the realm woke up; I got out of my bed to get some fresh air. I've had a headache again. As I was walking I lost track of the distance I had covered and found my self out on the fields. There, gathered behind the Hormjers' house I saw Hemlock with you know who. They were saying that your days as king would soon be over, that in less than a week you will be nothing but a memory to this world." Bolivar said. Loki faked surprised and pretended to be deep in thought. Of course he knew what Hemlock had been planning along with some of Laufey's ex commanders. Nothing of these was new to him. On the contrary it had been part of the plan.

A chest inside a chest inside a chest…

"Thank you, for telling me this Bolivar. I will tend to it with caution. You may go now." Loki said.

"But what if he intends to kill you?" Bolivar asked him scared.

"Do not be afraid my friend, haven't I told you I am immortal?" Loki said smirking.

Bolivar left and Loki went back to his private room.

"What was it?" Natasha asked him worried.

"Same old, nothing new for me" Loki said kissing Natasha.

"Was it about Hemlock?" Natasha asked him. Loki smirked before he kissed her again.

"That's why you are going to be my Queen and no one else." He told her. Natasha froze at his words. Was he… proposing her?

"What do you mean by Queen?" she asked him. Loki laughed and caressed her cheek.

"Well, a king's wife is customary to be called a Queen." He replied.

"Do you intend on staying King of Jotunheim after all that is over or do you have other plans?" she asked him. Loki looked at her confused for a moment before it dawned to him.

"Oh, dear, I never wanted to steal Thor's throne. All I ever wanted was to make his life a living hell. What younger brother doesn't?" he smirked at her and kissed her.

"So I'm not going to be an actual queen." She pouted.

"Well, you are going to be queen of my heart but then again, you never know what life will bring." Loki said.

"Do you actually want to spend the rest of the eternity with me? I don't think I am equipped for such a long lifespan." She said locking her hands around her neck.

Loki looked at her for a while and got lost in his thoughts. How fragile and short was human life? Just nine decades, the most, maybe around a dozen for his spider. They died by sickness and war, just a small bug could lead them to their death. But his spider was stronger and better than that. She was a fighter and her body healed on his own. For how long though? Would she be like that eternally? Will they be able to live and age together? What would he do if she died in thirty or forty years? For him they were like minutes.

What would she do if he died in battle?

"Hey, hey, what is that dark mind of yours been thinking?" she asked him taking his face in both of her hands. Loki looked at her ocean blue eyes and for the first time he didn't see the fierce woman that had outsmarted him, the cold blooded assassin, the hero; he saw just a woman, like the dozens he had killed in Midgard.

And he was just a man, like the dozens he had killed in Midgard, snapped like leaves with just a flick of his wrist.

"Loki, are you ok? Loki? Talk to me." She asked him worried.

"I am ok, how about that walk?" he finally told her and got up to get ready.

* * *

Natasha was wrapped in a heavy blue fur and they both got up on a huge animal that looked like a bear; a Tutmolnir, Loki called it. It had a white, thick fur and huge black nose on its face. On his back, there was a traveling box for the king and his mistress.

Natasha hated that title, it sounded so dirty. She had done a lot of dirty things in her life but not this and not now. Now she felt pure… as a child.

Love was for children after all.

They got inside the box and the Tutmolnir rose to start his short journey. Natasha sat at the edge looking around amazed.

"We are so high! I feel like I'm on the top of the world! I can see the mountain and the river and the huge trees! Is everything huge in this planet?" she asked him.

"Ehehe, I thought you had personal knowledge on that." He said.

"You're rather rude for a king." Natasha told him punching him lightly on the shoulder. Loki grabbed her hand and hugged her tight smelling her hair.

"In Asgard, the sky is orange like the sun is always setting and you can see the stars and the galaxies, all the branches of Yggdrasil. There are wonderful colours all around, and flowers and seas. Everything glows in Asgard. This land is cold, it is harsh and it is sad." Loki said showing her his realm.

"It sounds familiar." She noted.

"Yes, it does…" Loki laughed "I never liked it, I'd never would but when I first came here I came across with all this… blue and… it reminded me of… your eyes." Loki said and turned her around to look at her.

"Deep blue eyes I drowned into. I never thought of a sweetest death." He added and kissed her. Natasha kissed him back. Her heart was swelling of an unknown feeling. It was like she wanted to grin and shout and her chest was filling with something sweet and tender.

"You are helplessly romantic for a tough and arrogant badass." Natasha teased him.

"I am with you." He said and kissed her palm. Then he thought it again and stood straight putting his mask up. "If word spreads around I will have to kill you." He said.

"I love you too, Loki." Natasha said and kissed his chin. "Now will you tell me where this thing takes us?" she asked him. Loki smirked and pointed at the top of the mountain.

"The top of the mountain? Really?" Natasha said and burst into laughter.

"I told you I was going to be king of the mountain." He said. "And a king gets what a king wants." He added and grabbed her by her thighs to take her back inside the box.

* * *

The Tutmolnir growled and stopped. Loki stroke Natasha's hair and helped her into her clothes and heavy fur to get them out. Once they were on solid ground Natasha gasped. She raised her eyes high and all around in wonder as she tried to take everything in.

"And I thought your palace was majestic." She said. The trees were going up for miles towards the sky. Their main body was as big as a room and in a colour of faded blue, almost white with burned marks on them. Their branches were hundreds of metres long, with red leaves that were so high it looked as if the sky had caught on fire.

"This is Rougesarbres; it is the only red forest in Jotunheim and it said to be here since the beginning of time. The Jotuns think of it as a sacred place." Loki explained. He had come here when he had been looking for the cave and he couldn't get it out of his mind. At first he had thought it was because it reminded him of Asgard's sky but now he could finally admit it was because it reminded him of Natasha. Everything in this realm reminded him of her; the blue of her eyes, the red of her hair, her snow white skin, the cold and harsh land that resembled her homeland. She was everywhere.

"And what are these marks on the trees? Are they runes, like the ones you have on your body?" Natasha asked him. Loki smiled. Her cleverness should not surprise him by now.

"Yes, as I said it is a sacred place or rather a trapped race." Loki said and touched on of the trees. Loki's marks started glowing and the tree responded. The branches started to move and the whole tree trembled but after a few seconds it stopped. Natasha looked at it in bewilder. She never, ever liked fairy tales and magic.

Never

She had learned from a young age that things were different in life, that there was no fairy only the harsh reality and magic was just something illogical that didn't exist. Yet, here she was now in an alien planet with a half alien prince/king seeing all these amazing stuff and never getting tired of magic.

"What was that?" she asked him.

"Oh, you do not know? I thought that the black Widow knew everything." Loki said smirking.

"I'm not going to beg you." She said mimicking him.

"It is not like you have not done it before." Loki replied smirking. Natasha tried to punch him but he got her arm. "Have you grown soft, spider?" he mocked but she kneed him right where it hurts the most.

"You bitch!" he cursed as he fell on the ground.

"Didn't your mama tell you not to play with dangerous things?" she said smirking. He had a talent to take every simple moment and turn it into a battle of any kind. He just threw an insult or grabbed a word and he would bend and twisted it to his pleasure. The man knew how to create chaos. He was not named the god of chaos for nothing. But two could play the same game.

"Do you think you are smart, Agent Romanoff?" he smirked. Oh, how she loved that game. "I can break you, I can crash you like a bug, like an ant under my boot." He said and changed into his Asgardian form. Natasha had to admit that he looked better in green like that.

She liked his earlobe and captured it between her lips before she whispered,

"Catch me, if you can." And she was gone.

Loki groaned and got up. He was all alone. It was easy for her to hide in this place. They were like mice in a forest and unfortunately for him, his powers were bounded in this place. So he would have to rely on his hunting abilities. Not his first choice. He closed his eyes and tried to listen carefully. Every leaf that could break every change in the air; but she was so damn good!

_If he doesn't start soon I'd have to go back on myself_

Loki heard her voice inside his head and smirked. Yes, he had forgotten about it. He tried to block his mind and use one side of their connection to find her. She wasn't that far. Just two trees away. He got on the other side of the tree and smirked. This could be very fun.

_Behind you_

Natasha turned around and gasped at his sight. With no warning she punched him in the face and started running.

"You mewling quim!" he raged and ran behind her.

"What's the matter, Prince Grumpy, can't you get the girl?" she yelled and ran and ran. He was pretty fast with those long legs of his. She would bet that he could reach her in one single jump if he wanted to.

"Ehehe, little Natushka…" he said sped up a little more. "You have no idea what you got yourself into." He said and turned right.

Natasha stopped and looked behind her. Where had he gone? She tried to concentrate and find him through that mind bond they had. She could sense him somewhere around her but nothing more than that. She was pretty sure he was hiding behind the trees.

"There are not many people who can sneak up on me." She said smirking.

"That is my line." Loki said and appeared behind her.

"It's my line now." She said.

"You cannot think of any better?" he said smirking.

"Oh, you think yourself to be clever?" she said approaching really slow. She stopped right in front of him and kissed neck. "I'll show you clever." She whispered and light *cling* was heard.

"You had handcuffs on you?" Loki asked her not believing he had been fooled by the same woman, again!

"The fur helps a lot." She said smiling. Then her face became serious and she grabbed his hair. "Now, I want the mighty Ot'mah to kneel." She added. Loki arched his eyebrows.

"Kneel!" she growled and forced him to his knees. "Oh, I wanted to do this for years." She said and opened her fur to reveal her jumpsuit. Slowly she opened her zipper all the way down, peeling the dark material away from her body.

"For how many years have you been fantasizing about this, exactly?" Loki asked her.

"Since that interrogation."

* * *

They were sitting on Natasha's heavy fur to protect them from Jotunheim's ice. Loki's back was on the tree and Natasha lay in his hands, dressed unfortunately, due to the severe cold.

"Now that I have won…"

"I let you…" Loki argued.

"Now That I Have Won…" Natasha repeated "tell me about these trees. You said they were a race." She said. Loki took a lock of her fierce red hair and started playing with it.

"Thousands of thousands of years ago, Jotuns were not alone in this planet. There was another race as well called, Gerrgams. They were taller and stronger than the Jotuns but had no magic in them. The Jotuns ruled the Gerrgams. In a war that took place before time started, the Gerrgams refused to follow the Jotun King. The war was lost, Jotunheim was attacked and the Jotun King cursed them to become trees and guard this mountain until it is time for them to fight for a Jotun king again." Loki said looking around.

"That's a fate even I wouldn't put my enemies into." Natasha said. "Wait, you said the Jotuns think it is a forest. How do you know what it really is?" she asked him eyeing him suspiciously. Loki arched his eyebrow at her and smirked. Alright, she had every right to question him. After all he was the God of lies and she was a very smart woman.

"Because I know how to read runes." He said and pointed at the burned marks on the trees. "This is the curse written on them." He explained and got up.

"Where are you going?" she asked him trying to put on her fur.

"Well, follow me and you shall know, unfaithful witch." He insulted her with the sweetest smile on his face. Natasha narrowed her eyes at him and approached him.

"I swear to whatever to God, if we make it through this mess I'm going to torture you with every technique I have learned all these years." She said. Loki grabbed her and kissed her fiercely with no warning.

"Ha, but you will not kill me so we have made progress." He said and smiled. "Now follow me." He said and took her hand into his own. The two of them walked and walked for a very long hour.

"Are we there yet?" Natasha asked him.

"Almost, just pay attention to your surroundings. You have to memorize the path." Loki said.

"Loki, I am the best spy the world has ever known…"

"…and the deadliest." He interrupted.

"Thank you; I'm not going to forget this path." She said.

"Good, because here we are." He said and showed her a blue rock in the middle of the woods. Natasha looked at him and then at the rock trying to understand what was going on.

"I suppose this is some kind of a magical thing only you can handle or whatever." She said standing across the rock with her arms crossed. Loki smirked at her and approached the rock. It was a huge piece of ice just standing there.

"What better place to hide something than the plane sight?" he said and touched the rock. Suddenly a small light came from deep inside it and grew bigger and bigger until it was blinding them. Then a series of blue runes appeared on it and the light was gone.

Natasha looked at the rock confused. There seemed to be nothing new about it except the runes. She looked at Loki. The cocky bastard was smirking at her. So there was something she couldn't see, a passage perhaps or…

"So, this is the cave?" she asked him as she approached it. She looked at her lover again. He was smiling but this time it was different. He seemed amazed and happy. So she was dazzling him with her cleverness once again. She'd better surprise him by finding the entrance all by herself to shut his smart mouth once and for all.

She looked at it again and remembered the Jotun palace with the secret entrances that were adorned with runes. So the runes would be it. She took a closer look at that side of the rock and smirked. It looked more fluid than the other sides. Natasha extended her hand towards it and touched momentarily. It was like thick water.

"You'd better take your hand off of it if you don't want it to consume you." Loki said. Natasha took her hand back and stepped away. Loki touched the rock again and it went back to his previous state.

"Natasha, it is important for you to remember this place. If something happens, if something goes wrong, you must come here." Loki told her grabbing her shoulders so she would pay attention. Natasha looked at him and nodded. She was a soldier and they were at war. The Black Widow in her understood what had to be done. Regimes fell every day. If something happened to him, she should carry on with the plan. That was all that mattered.

But the woman in her, for the first time in her life, was scared to death.

"Don't be silly, Loki, everything is going to go according to plan. Besides even if I come here alone, how will I open this thing? I am neither a Jotun nor a magician." She said. Loki caressed her hair and kissed lightly on the lips.

"As you pathetic mortals like to say, voila." He said presenting a blue rock behind her ear. He put it on a thread and put it around her neck.

"What is this?" she asked him.

"With this you open the passage. That is all you need to know." He said and took her hand in his to walk away.

"Are you hiding something from me? Because if you are I'm going to hit you." She said. Loki laughed and brought her closer to him as they walked.

"My little spider, I am secretive and controlling, just like you. That's what makes this interesting. Where would be the fun if I told you everything?" he said and kissed.

"There'll be no fun if we're dead." She said and stepped away.

"Do not fret my dear, everything will go alright. Besides the stories must be fulfilled." He said letting her process that. Natasha stopped and watched him walk away in. He walked like the wind, lightly, with grace but he had a dominating air around him that connected him with the ground. The spirits had truly gifted him.

Suddenly Natasha remembered her talk with the element spirits and she connected their words with Loki's.

The stories?

That must be about Sigyn. Ok, she had to find out about it now.

"What's the deal with Sigyn and the stories? Everybody is talking about it and I have a feeling it concerns me." She said running to catch up with him.

"The stories are not always about the past. Sometimes they are about the future." He said.

"I am not going to hold a bowl over your head in eternity." She said.

"Ehehe, that was already be done, spider. Sometimes, as stories go from father to son they change and blend but one thing is for certain." He said and stopped. Tutmolnir was a feet away from them.

"You Anastasia Romanova are going to be my wife and mother to my children." He said and kissed her. "Someday." He added and walked to Tutmolnir leaving her there to process things once again.

* * *

**Ahh! I'm trying so hard to keep this a T story but this M scenes keep popping up. So I just cut them. Tell me what you think and next chapter will be up pretty soon. **

**The cave is coming...**


	31. Let the games begin!

**It took me longer than I thought but here it is! Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! **

Half of a man

Let the games begin!

A stray light beam danced upon Natasha's face. The red-head assassin tried to avoid it by hiding in her lover's neck. Only there was no lover. The bed was empty. Natasha bolted up and looked around.

"Do not fret my dear, I am still here." Loki said. He was standing at the edge of a table, in his Jotun form wrapped in a white fur.

"I have every right to, regarding your history." She said and got out of the bed. The severe cold air made her human body tremble. With a flick of his wrist Loki put his fur around her.

"Do I get to wear the King's fur?" she asked him joining him.

"You get to have whatever you want." He said and kissed. Natasha hugged him and traced his symbols with her hand.

"How do you get all these marks? Were you born with them?" Natasha asked him.

"Some of them come from birth, yes; others come with time or tribal rituals." Loki answered.

"Did you participate in so many tribal rituals the last three weeks?" Natasha asked him arching her eyebrow. Loki laughed and kissed her head.

"No, silly spider; I got them when I was a baby. A treat from Laufey to make me stronger. Ehehe, he never actually thought of what I would become." He said.

"The spirits I met in my cave told me that they gave you a lot of gifts the night you were born." She said making Loki smirk.

"do you agree with them?" he asked her.

"Well, they could have gifted you with some humbleness." She said.

"I am humble, I just have self-knowledge as well." He said and it was her time to laugh.

"Regardless, I like the fact you made peace with your real self." She said.

"It is a part of me; the part that makes me so strong. I choose to use it as such and everything else is history. I took your advice Natasha; I used my skill set for something better." Loki said.

"So, you're not a villain anymore?" Natasha asked him.

"A villain is a very strong word; I would say I am more like... mischievous." He said and kissed her neck, letting his hands circle her waist.

"My King, I must remind you of the feast. It starts in half an hour." A guard yelled outside the door.

Natasha collapsed on Loki and hugged him tightly.

"It is today isn't it?" she asked him.

"Yes, it is. Let's just hope everything goes by plan." Loki said.

"Yes, because all of your plans end up wonderfully." She mocked him as he left her to retrieve his clothes.

"I count more successes than failures." He answered and laid all of his clothes and accessories on the bed.

"Will you help me dress?" he asked her smirking.

"I am going to dress you, naked?" she asked him with equal mischief.

"I am going to dress later as well." He answered.

Natasha approached him and grabbed a piece of black skin from the bed. She put it around his waist and wrapped him in it a few times before she tied it up on his back. She took another piece of the same skin that covered his right chest and shoulder. As soon as it was on him, his marks made their way through it and glowed in a strong blue light. Next was the golden chest plate she had seen him wear before, covering his heart and left shoulder. Now that she was taking a better look at it, she saw a wolf engraved on it.

"What's with the wolf?" she asked him.

"That's Fenrir, he's a friend of mine." He said.

"I thought he was supposed to be your son." She said.

"Mortals will always believe in fairy tales. No, I met him here in Jotunheim." He said and picked up his golden bracelets to put around his wrists. Natasha put his belt on him. Next Loki put on a golden necklace with a big claw on it.

"That's from a Frojamheir. It is a beast of the desert. I killed it on my first night here." He said.

"To save those Jotun children." Natasha added.

"Good news travel far." He said and smirked.

At last Natasha grabbed his golden halo with the horns and put it on his head.

"What's the matter with these really?" she asked him.

"Oh, the horns? That's because I'm a little devil." He said and winked at her as his spear appeared in his hand. "Now, let's see about you." He murmured and snapped his fingers. A black lacy gown appeared on Natasha along with a black stripe and a veil around her head.

"What's that?" she asked him.

"A Black Widow." He said laughing.

"Change it or I'll give you a black eye." Natasha threatened him.

"You have no sense of humor." Loki said and changed her clothes back to her leather jumpsuit. "You are going to be wrapped in that fur all day anyway. The feast is taking part far away from the city." He said.

"Really? Where are we going?" she asked him.

"We are going to walk to the desert in order to honour the moon." Loki said.

"How long is it going to take because I don't know if you have noticed it but a Jotun step is like at least two cars." Natasha said.

"We are going to be there by the time the night falls." He said

"Oh great!"

Much to Natasha's relief the King and his mistress were transferred in huge wooden boxes. Much to her surprise there were hundreds if not thousands of Jotuns following them. The whole city had empty and every now and then even more people, nomads were joining them. Outside the box she could hear the Mysts singing softly in an unknown language and the rest of the people humming softly. Loki was supposed to be inside his box praying but he had only lit a few herbals for perfume and was lying down letting a clone of his appearing every now and then to join the Mysts in their prayer. All Natasha could do was revising the plan and make sure nothing was going wrong.

After a long, long journey of walking non stop, they had finally arrived. Their box was put down and Loki finally got up to start the show. He opened the curtains violently and stepped outside raising his hands.

"Hail!" Jotuns from every corner of the planet yelled. Their voices were deep and loud filling the air like drums.

"Hail to you my fellow Jotuns!" Loki said. Natasha was watching from inside the box. The giants had made a circle and Loki was standing in the middle. He looked so small compared to them! They could crash him with their feet and yet they stood there, listening to him, intimidate by him, by a runt. That was the greatest satisfaction Loki was getting out of this.

"Today we celebrate our moon that has been giving us power since the beginning of the cosmos. Power that we must not forget we have and use as we should. We are grand, we are powerful and we are mighty!" Loki yelled and the Jotuns replied with their cries.

"We must not forget who we are and what we have. We take what is rightfully ours and show our superiority to whoever doubts us." He said. Natasha smirked. He could easily charm the crowed with his words. Again, it was a mistake to attack the Earth with an army. He could just stand in the middle of central park dressed like a prince and talk. He would have been king in a few hours.

"I must not remind you what happened to the Asgardian Prince the last time he stepped his foot on Jotunheim's ice. A war is coming and the Jotuns are going to be winners!" He yelled raising his fist to the sky. More hails and cries filled the air.

"Today, to honour the powerful moon I shall grand you the sight of war games. Anyone who is strong enough to compete and win, will duel with me and if he or she wins I will grand them one wish." Loki said and walked away from the center as the people were shouting his name.

"Ot'mah! Ot'mah!" Bolivar raised and touched the ice on the ground creating a tall tower with two thrones on it. Loki extended his hand to her and escorted her to the top where she sat on the throne.

"Let the games begin!" Loki yelled and sat next to her. The Frost Giants yelled in response and stepped away for whoever wanted to compete. Nine tall and strong giants stepped inside the circle. Natasha could see Hemlock standing proudly among them. She dared say he had a cocky smirk on his face.

"You see those three next to Hemlock? They are his comrades. The fools are doing exactly what I had planned." Loki said to Natasha. Natasha looked at him worried. She had a bad feeling about this.

"Is there anyone else who dares to take part in the games?" Loki growled.

"I, my King." Bolivar yelled. Natasha's eyes went wide open as she saw the dwarf Jotun step forward. Everyone started laughing but Bolivar was not disheartened. He just stood in the middle of the circle as straight as he could waiting for Loki's response. Loki's face was dried of colour and within the blink of an eye he jumped off the throne, making himself bigger and bigger until he towered everyone in the arena. The Jotuns gasped and kneeled before him. Loki approached Bolivar and caught him by the arm.

"Are you stupid?" he hissed at the Jotun's face.

"No…no, my king." The Frost Giant said.

"Then what in Hel's name are you doing? You cannot compete with them, you can barely walk. They will crash you." Loki said.

"They might as well try. I have been taught a lot of things from you my king… Loki." Bolivar said. Loki froze for a moment and looked around to make sure no one had heard his real name. Then he looked at his young guard.

"Ehehe, you are smart, Bolivar son of Brinivad, but I should warn you from experience that suicidal plans tend to fail you."

"Hemlock wants to kill you; I will try to stop him even if it costs my life." Bolivar whispered.

"Stupid sentimentality is going to get you killed. I am surprised you were not born an Asgardian. Stupid pride and bravery." Loki said and jumped back to his throne returning to his normal size. He looked at Natasha worried before he sat and gave the sign for the blue fires to be lit in order for the first match to begin.

"It seems your plan already has problems." She said.

"No problem, just a lot of pain for that stupid Frost Giant." Loki answered.

Natasha grabbed his arm and watched the games. It was as if she was watching some mythical battle between titans. Huge bodies collided with force while ice beams and ice daggers kept appearing from nowhere. Roars of pain filled the night sky and dark, thick blood painted the ice under theirs feet. One by one the gladiators were falling with Hemlock's team winning. There was an obvious plan where Hemlock had to win the match to battle Loki and that was what Loki wanted but Bolivar seemed to be more of a problem than Loki had anticipated. The young Jotun had grown strong both physically and magically. He had turned his imbalance into an advantage by moving all the time and his magical blows were enough to keep him safe.

When the moon reached its higher place in the sky the games stopped. Those remaining stood before the king. It was Hemlock and Bolivar. Loki had no doubt that the ex-king could crash the Jotun dwarf so his plan was safe but still, and he didn't want anyone to find out, he hated that his …guard had to be put through so much pain.

"It is time for the sacrifice. The games will continue afterwards." Loki said looking at Bolivar. Natasha saw the Mysts that had accompany them, bringing cloths and skins to be put at the centre of the circle. Behind them servants were carrying baskets that were covered with heavy furs. The first one had a dozen of crystals. They were huge, almost at the size of a human toddler and they sparkled as if they were stars. The second one had flasks. Murmuring an ancient prayer the Mysts placed the crystals onto the cloths and opened the flasks and emptied its dark liquid upon them.

"What's in the flask?" Natasha asked Loki.

"It's a kind of a Jotun wine. It's very rare and it comes from a tree that grows up in the mountain." Loki said. Suddenly the Mysts started praying more loudly and more loudly with their eyes becoming pure red. The Jotuns were murmuring accompanying the Mysts and one of them, the high priestess turned towards Loki saying something incoherent. Loki stood up and descended the throne.

"Where are you going?" Natasha asked panicked.

"I am going to perform the sacrifice." Loki simply answered and walked down the icy stairs to stand above the crystals. He too started speaking in the same language looking more than the warlock Natasha had in mind than what he really was. The priestess asked him something and he seemed to answer positively, then the people repeated. It happened three times and then he extended his arm above the crystals. Natasha fought with her self to stay glued on the throne. She knew what was happening. The priestess's hand became an ice dagger and cut Loki's arm. His blood, fierce red instead of the dark the Jotuns had, painted the crystals in a sinful colour. The Jotuns were yelling and hitting the ice with their feet making Natasha think there was an earthquake. But then the crystals became brighter and brighter along with the giant moon that slowly became red. Natasha looked at Loki and saw his arm healing and the crystals becoming white once again. When the crystals and the moon had changed colour Loki raised his hands to the sky and faced his people triumphantly.

"The moon has accepted the sacrifice. She will accompany and protect us once again." He said rising hails all over again. With one flick of his wrist the crystals were gone and the Mysts disappeared slowly. The king came back to his throne and sat next to his loved once again.

"What was that? Are you ok?" Natasha asked him and he laughed.

"I have been through worse, my spider, thanks to your green friend." Loki answered and made her smirk.

"So what happened?" she asked him.

"Magical rituals." He said and Natasha remembered what he had told her about his marks. She looked at him searching for anything new and she found it. She traced it with her finger; it was still forming where he had cut his arm. It looked like a dagger.

"I will explain to you later. Now we must stick to the plan." He said and showed her the two finalists taking their place in the arena.

Hemlock had an obvious advantage. He was twenty feet tall and very muscular having the training of a king. Bolivar was not over eight feet tall, with short hands and short legs. Even though Bolivar knew how to handle his magic better than Hemlock he still had a disadvantage.

Loki gave the signal for the match to begin.

The taller Jotun stood across Bolivar with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"I will give you one chance to quit, boy." The ex king said in his deep voice.

"I may lose but I will fall fighting." Bolivar said.

"Trying to protect the traitor? Except from being pathetic it makes you a traitor too. Traitors are punished in the land of Laufey." Hemlock said. With no warning an ice dagger flew towards him and cut his leg.

"This is not the land of Laufey anymore. This is the land of Ot'mah!" Bolivar yelled and attacked the taller Jotun with multiple daggers. Hemlock was taken aback but it didn't take him long to react. He kicked the ice hard causing it to tremble. Bolivar lost his balance and fell. Before he had a chance to get up, Hemlock kicked him and sent him to the crowed. The Frost Giants were cheering and sent the poor dwarf back to the arena. Hemlock hit him again and again like a ball that hits the wall and comes back. Natasha was holding her breath praying to God for this torture to stop. Next to her, Loki was trembling with anger. She could tell that once Hemlock fell to his hands he would have a worst time than Bolivar.

"Come on, you dwarf! You wanted to fight, so fight!" Hemlock yelled at him. He grabbed him by his arm and raised him to his level ready to strike again. "The moon did not favor you tonight." Hemlock said but instead of striking him he fell on his knees and released the poor Bolivar.

"That's enough!" Loki yelled from his throne. "The sacrifice has been done, this match was not to death." He said making Hemlock face him. "You won, Hemlock son of Laufey, let him tend to his wounds." He added and made a guard to take Bolivar away.

"I believe I have one more match to give." Hemlock said. Loki glanced at Natasha and nodded.

"Aye, what is your bet?" Loki asked him.

"If I win you will give me back my throne, Loki Odinson." Hemlock said raising whispers. Loki laughed and looked at him.

"Last time I checked it was Laufeyson and it was I that the throne crowned king." Loki said.

"So you admit that you are Loki of Asgard?" someone from the crowed yelled. Loki let his Asgardian form appear along with his usual armor of green and gold.

"Oh, like you have anything to complain. I gave you back your land, your quality of life and I am the rightful king of Jotunheim." He said.

"He is right! He gave us back our life." Someone yelled. Loki looked at Natasha surprised.

"Did just someone defend me?" he whispered and she nodded smirking.

"It matters not who I am but what I have done and what I can do. At this moment I am your King and since the throne is still mine I have to settle this with my little brother my way. So, Hemlock, son of Laufey, I accept your challenge to a request for the mythical Hodnir of the King Jotun in the Rougesarbres." Loki said and everyone silenced.

"That is a myth." Hemlock said.

"Well, if that is the case then neither of us will find it and there will be no king." Loki said smirking. Hemlock looked at him angry and nodded.

"Alright, the one who will return to the palace holding the Hodnir will be king of Jotunheim." Hemlock said.

"Aye, I will allow one companion…" he said and extended his hand to Natasha who rose from the throne to stand by his side. "…and time starts from now." Loki said and both he and Natasha disappeared. Hemlock groaned and started running followed by one of his comrades. The crowed started walking away from the desert as the sun was rising. It was the brightest sun Jotunheim had ever seen.

It was big and red and made the ice melt. It had a diabolic laugh as well.

* * *

**Oh, oh Huston we got a problem and Loki is inside that cave! **

**I will try to update within the week but I cannot promise anything.**

**As for those M scenes I got quite a few reviews, uhm, I am thinking of posting them all together after the story is finished maybe even reposting the story as an M but not before it is finished. So, let me think what you believe.**


	32. Running against time

**Hello my wonderful readers! I want to thank you again for your great reviews, they keep me going.**

**Sorry for taking longer than usual to update but the chapters following are really tough and my free time is limited nowadays. However I try to post as often as i can and I hope the chapter is up to your expectations. **

**So, let's get into that cave.**

* * *

Half of a man

Running against time

Natasha felt an odd sensation of heat on her back as she was getting lost in the darkness of the cave. It lasted for only a moment but it had definitely been there. When you spent a week in the land of frost giants you can easily recognize real heat. On her side she felt Loki grabbing her hand to pull her inside the unknown. The familiar feeling of dizziness and nausea returned as she was transferred through time and space into the cave.

There was nothing but darkness in there; darkness and cold. It reminded her of hell more than the real Hel had.

"Are you ok?" Loki asked her.

"I'll be fine, it's just… I felt an odd warm feeling before we disappeared in here." Natasha said.

"It was probably due to excitement and high pressure; heat does not exist in this frozen hell." Loki said and looked ahead. He could see nothing, not even his hands. He tried to perform an illumination spell but he failed. He growled in frustration. How he hated magic restricted places! "I guess we will have to adapt in the dark." He added. He felt Natasha tightening her grip on him and he returned the gesture.

"Where is Hemlock?" she asked him.

"Well, it will take him some time to get here. His magic is equal to that of a mouse." He said and laughed. Natasha looked at him disapprovingly but he was oblivious of her in the dark.

"So how do we know where to go if we cannot see anything?" she asked him.

"We listen and touch" he said and both of them silenced to try and catch anything that could give them a clue as to where they should go. Natasha felt him lower and heard his knees touching the ground.

Loki felt an odd attraction to the ground. It was like it was singing to him, inviting him to touch it. As he put his palm on the cold rock he felt a sparkle rising in him. His mind traveled in what Natasha had told him about the elements' spirits. They had granted him powers beyond imagination but more than that they had given him a connection with them. He closed his eyes and let the power of earth flow within him.

"Loki! Loki, look!" Natasha said. The Asgardian prince opened his eyes and looked around. Thousands of runes were glowing on the cave walls. They were everywhere; on the ceiling, on the ground, on the walls, big and small marks.

"It is so big!" Natasha said looking around the gigantic cave. It was bigger than the throne room in the Jotun palace. There was a bridge ahead of them big enough for one Jotun to walk upon.

"Really, Romanoff? You've been in Jotunheim for a week and you still believe this is big?" Loki said and approached the bridge.

"Well, it is bigger than your throne room and one lethal step could lead straight to hell." Natasha said looking down the cliff to the unknown.

"At least you have made good acquaintances down there." Loki said smirking. Natasha looked at him and approached the bridge as well.

"Princess Sweet death couldn't resist telling her daddy, ha?" she said taking the lead. Loki laughed but followed her.

"You'd better watch your tongue, she is quite sensitive when it comes to comments like that; and who said you are to lead the way?" he said but did not stop her.

"Yes, I did notice that. I believe a meeting with Stark's daughter would be good for them and You are following me." She said as they made it to the centre of a cross path. There were three doors around them. One was straight ahead, the other was on their left and the last one was up and right.

"You certainly do not want Stark to find out you want his daughter to meet the Queen of hell." Loki said teasing. He knew Hela would not even touch a hair from Millie's hair. She was his best friend after all.

"I think he would be rather excited about it. He is a master dork when it comes to stuff like that. Besides Millie and Hela have common issues so I think that they could solve them together. You know yours can take her nerves on dead people but for Stark it is just us that have to carry the burden." She said scanning the area. There was a basin full of water near them. It seemed to be engraved with runes too. Loki opened his mouth to answer but he was cut off by Natasha.

"Which way?" she asked him. The Asgardian god crossed his arms and took a rain check on their talk. He looked around too and noticed the basin. He approached it and looked inside but nothing happened. He looked at the runes on the side but it was all wrong. They made no sense. Natasha followed him and looked at the water too.

"So?" she asked him again but he shook his head.

"I have no idea. Either we trust our instincts or we find out what this is. It looks familiar though." Loki said.

"And suspiciously small." Natasha added. Loki nodded and started pacing around trying to recollect his memory. It was quite hard after the accident. Sure he had recollected the big parts of his life but the small things he usually carried in his head were hidden. He remembered having seen that basin somewhere else too. It had not been in a book. He had seen it for real; somewhere with a lot of a smoke and noise and little weird people.

_What's a ya doin 'ere, boy? Da shop z not fo' young lads like ya._

A red face fool of hair came to his mind.

Dwarfs

_His father had visited the dwarfs to negotiate their alliance. He had taken Loki and Thor with him, even though they had been little boys, in order to learn how such negotiations take place. Off course such things had been really boring for the two Odinsons that slipped away at the first chance. They visited the mines and the shops of the dwarfs where it was said that powerful weapons were built._

"_Come on, Loki, let's take a look in here." Thor said._

"_There are only swords in there." Loki had argued._

"_Exactly!" Thor had said excited._

"_Swords are boring; there are so many magical things in there!" young Loki said and pointed at another tent. _

"_We can't split up! What if we get lost?" Thor said. He couldn't leave his younger brother all alone in a foreign realm. He was in charge of him._

"_Do not worry brother, I know how to teleport know, remember? I will just feel you and teleport to you. No harm will be made." Loki said and disappeared inside the tent. There were all kinds of stuff in there, from spears and wands to magical orbs. However there was one thing that was calling out to him. It was behind a curtain. He didn't know what was there but it was calling out to him. He walked towards it and peeked through the light fabric. It was just a basin, made of a red rock, engraved with weird marks. He knew they were runes but he couldn't read them. He took a step inside and looked at his face on the water. He wanted to touch the water, to drink from it, to dive his whole head in it. He bended over the basin and just as he had been ready to dive he felt a hand on his back._

"_What's a ya doin 'ere, boy? Da shop z not fo' young lads like ya."_

"Natasha no!" he screamed getting out of his thoughts as he saw his lover bending over the basin. He pulled her back but it had been too late. Her face had already been wet.

"What happened? One moment I was looking at you and then this thing… It was calling my name." She said. Loki looked at her and then scanned the cave. He could already hear something moving.

"This is the Arc of Fear; it takes your greatest fear and makes it a reality." Loki said.

"Do you talk of personal experience?" she asked him. She could hear the noise coming from the depths of the cave becoming louder and louder and filling the cave.

"Thanks to a dwarf, no. Any last instruction as to what we might meet in a few seconds?" He asked her.

"I'm a trained assassin, I exile my fears to Siberia." She said getting ready to fight.

"Well, I guess the irony of defrosting your fears in Jotunheim is not lost on us." He said.

The earth started moving and they could hear rocks falling. Whatever it was it was climbing up the abyss fast.

"Hulk, smash!" a roar was heard as the green monster jumped on the rock. He looked a lot more menacing in this half light.

"Is this your fear or mine?" Natasha asked Loki.

"I do not fear the Hulk… I know what it can do to me." Loki said trying to think of a way to bring down the green giant.

"Tasha! What are you doing with him?" She heard a very familiar voice yelling from behind them. Natasha turned around and froze. Clint stood a few metres away from them, holding his bow tight in his hands. He looked angry and disappointed.

"Clint, what are you doing here? How did you get in Jotunheim?" she asked him and tried to approach him but Loki stopped her. Natasha looked at him displeased.

"He is not your stupid archer, look at his eyes." Loki said. Natasha stopped and looked closer at her friend. There was a red ring around his eyes. Hulk roared and kicked the earth beneath his feet.

"You betrayed us all, Tasha! You betrayed me! How can you be with him after all he has done?" Clint said readying his bow.

"He killed Coulson." Captain Rogers said appearing out of nowhere.

"He almost left my children orphans." Tony in his Ironman suit said flying over their heads.

Loki and Natasha looked at them. How where they going to beat them? All of them?

"Really, Natasha, the Avengers?" Loki said but he was grabbed by the Hulk. Clint threw his arrow towards them and loaded again. Loki freed himself from the green giant and tightened his grip against his spear. He lost no time attacking the beast by swinging his golden weapon at him. Hulk fell down but kicked Loki a few metres away. Natasha had no time to run to him. Steve stood before her with his face full of hatred.

"You betrayed those who trusted you. You are our enemy." He said and attacked her. Natasha avoided his punch by instinct and kicked his face. The Captain swept his nose and proceeded again. Tony had lifted Loki in the air ready to let him fall in the abyss.

"No, Tony, please!" She shouted not seeing Steve's hit. She fell down on the ground tasting the blood on her lips. She saw Loki hitting Tony and jumping on a rock. Hulk jumped towards him but the Asgardian God had no weapon and so he jumped away.

"You deserved no second chance." Clint said standing above her. He was ready to strike her when an ice dagger made him drop his bow. Hulk roared trying to catch Loki but it was Tony who beat him to it. Ironman held the Asgardian God and blasted him to the opposite wall. Loki fell on the ground unable to move. Hulk stood in front of him kicking him, angry that he wouldn't get up any more. Natasha kicked Clint and threw Steve on the ground trying to run to her lover.

"You traitor." Steve said and ran after her. As she was running she felt something tying her feet and she fell with her face on the ground. She felt strong hands lifting her and forcing her forward.

"How could I believe that you had changed? All those people you killed, all that joy you felt by watching them die can never leave. You are just like him, two cold blooded killers. Two traitors." Clint said and they brought her before Loki. Her whole body ached but most of all her face burned. She must have hit pretty hard falling down by Tony's rope.

"Now you will both get what you deserve. Traitors deserve no favors." Steve said and Hulk grabbed Loki from the ground and started squeezing him. The Asgardian prince tried to keep his pain to him but when he felt his bones breaking he let it all out. Natasha tried to keep a calm face. She had to find a plan to pass this test. These were not her friends. These were just her worst fear.

"You are not going to scream, Black Widow? You are not going to beg for your lover's life?" Tony said.

"Off course not, regimes fall every day." Clint answered for her.

"I guess she has no heart, no one can really trust her, not even her lover." Steve added.

They were her worst fear; a fear that came from her childhood; that of rejection. If she wasn't good enough in her training Ivan would reject her. If she wasn't good in her work, SHIELD would reject her. If she ever betrayed their trust…

She loved Loki; it was the only thing in her life that she held so dear. But by doing so, she had betrayed them, her friends. Maybe they meant to her more than what she wanted to believe.

"Natashaaaaaa!" Loki screamed in agony. Natasha looked up at him.

"I am sorry." She said. Clint and Steve looked at her. "I am sorry; Clint, Steve, Tony and Bruce. I am sorry that you feel that way. I never meant to betray you, I just… I just… I just fell in love. He means the world to me even if he is an arrogant pain in the ass but you… you are my family. You are my friends and I know that I hide it very well but I would do anything for you, to keep you safe. If it means so much to you, you can kill me; he has suffered enough." She said and grabbed Clint's gun and put it in her head.

"Come on, Clint, shoot me. Steve, Tony, Bruce, whoever wants it. Kill me, come on. I know you won't do it. I trust you." Natasha said and the red ring vanished from their eyes as they vanished slowly as well.

Loki fell on the ground trying to catch his breath. Natasha ran to his side worried.

"Are you ok?" She asked him.

"It hurts more when the bones go back to where they are supposed to be." He said.

"I guess not all fights are won in blood." She said and he smirked.

"Finally says the woman who's told me a million times and again that Midgard could be concurred by a batting of my eyes." Loki said as he got up.

"Well, I guess I do have some issues." Natasha said helping him to the center of the cave.

"Some issues? My dear, you have trust issues, commitment issues, anger management issues… shall I go on?" He said.

"You forget, dating with bad guys who do not know when to stop talking, issues." She said. Loki laughed lightly and stood in his full height.

"I am proud of you, my spider." He said and kissed her. Natasha smiled and looked at the basin on their right. It was glowing and it seemed that the runes on it were moving. Loki noticed it too and turned around.

The water inside it started trembling and rose against gravity into a form full of curves. The form became clearer and clearer as the runes seemed to take their final position.

"Hello, Loki son of Laufey, King of Jotunheim." Said a woman with a very familiar voice to Natasha.

"Ydor." The red head recognized her.

"I am glad to meet you again, Sigyn. You two have passed the first trial. There are three more awaiting you behind that door." She said in her charming, deep voice, pointing towards the door on their left. The ornaments of the doors were now glowing, calling to them.

"But before you go, I must show you something." She said and fell into the Arc of Fear again. Loki and Natasha approached the Arc carefully and looked inside.

There were Jotuns running in panic. Hemlock and some of his guards were fighting as the ice was melting and the forests were burning.

"Malekith betrayed me. He sent the Fire Giants here." Loki said angry.

"What are we going to do? We must get out of here and help them." Natasha said.

"There's no point in doing that. That is exactly what he wants. We may beat the Fire Giants but we won't be able to return. The war has already begun; all we can do is stick to the plan. Besides we do have a secret weapon." Loki said pointing at the rock around her neck.

Natasha touched the rock and looked at him bewildered. "The time Gem?" she asked him and he nodded. He had given her the Time Gem.

"You said that Jotunheim is not made to withstand their heat. What if it destroyed before we get out of here?" she asked him.

"We are not here, we are not in Jotunheim, we are nowhere. This is just a slot in the fabric of time and space. We are inside the void and the only way out is using the Gem." He said and walked towards the door. He seemed to have taken his decision. He stood before it and touched it to open it. Natasha turned around to take a last look at the basin but the Jotuns were not there anymore.

"_Tony! What is going on?" Pepper yelled._

"_Take the babes to the tunnels! Go Pepper, now go!" Tony shouted at her; Clint came in ready for battle, as well as Steve. There were soldiers everywhere, along with SHIELD agents trying to get people into safety._

"_No, Riley, you go with Pepper I have to stay here and make sure the weapons kick the aliens' buts." Millie said taking position into a Shield facility._

"_All units ready, enemy is going to be visual in ten seconds." Hill said._

"_Ok, people, let's beat those aliens again." Tony said._

"_I just hope Thor has not forgotten us." _

"_Yeah, and has Tasha into safety."_

"Natasha, come on!" Loki yelled.

"You need to make a decision." Ydor said and vanished. Natasha ran towards Loki thinking about what she had just seen.

**The war has started and Earth is in danger. What will Natasha do?**

**Will she trust Loki and his plan or will she try and save her family?**

**Stay tuned!**


	33. Man in the Mirror

**Hi, I'm back with a new chapter! Thank you for sticking with me an supporting me! It really means a lot with all the stuff i have to go through these days. **

**So enjoy the next door of the cave.**

* * *

Half of a man

Man in the mirror

White

Everything was white.

Natasha did not like white.

The light was so strong it nearly blinded them. They could distinguish nothing, not even the slightest detail. All they knew it was that they could stand on their two feet and walk.

Had they gone to heaven?

That was how it was supposed to look wasn't it? The kingdom of God bathed in light. Words of a religion she had long forgotten came to her mind.

"Let there be light." She whispered.

"What did you say?" Loki asked her.

"Nothing" she said shaking her head. "Where are we?" She asked him and took a few steps forward. She hated all that white, all that emptiness.

Painters say that white is nothing and black is everything put together.

"We are still in the cave I believe; whatever we are supposed to deal with will make an appearance soon." He answered and approached her. "Do not leave my side."

Natasha sighed

Something was not right. Her instinct was never wrong. This was not a test they could pass with kicks and magic. It was something deeper; something that required scratching some scars and digging into one's soul. Just like she had done inside Loki's mind.

That had caused her unwanted pain.

She suspected that this time it would be worse. She had grown soft through the years and she felt vulnerable now. She had let herself love once again, unconditionally and the worst part was that she had fell for a mad man. Sure, he had changed since then and just a few seconds ago she had come to terms with her feelings about him and the guys but still…

There were people dying out there. Under different circumstances she would agree with him. She would go with the plan to save the world with as less casualties as they could. So what had changed?

She had gotten attached and that was a bad thing for a soldier. What if they didn't make it? What if something went wrong and they couldn't go back in time?

She had once heard Tony and Bruce talking with Mildred about time and space and they had said that time was like a tree. The present has multiple branches that are probable futures. Every little change today changes the branch. Even if someone traveled to a past present he couldn't change the same branch he would have to go to another one and thus a different universe.

She had been the least interested in their talk back then but now she was thinking…

Would that mean that saving the world by going back in time they would appear in a different universe? Would that mean that her friends, her family would be different? But even if they weren't, she would have killed them in a different timeline!

She didn't want their blood on her hands in any timeline.

She looked at Loki. He was trying to figure all these out. He looked occupied with his task which meant he couldn't hear her thoughts.

That was relieving. She didn't want to leave him.

Heck! She didn't even know if she could!

He needed her though and she needed him too. She knew that if she left him now to save the Earth she would be worried about him.

Who was she kidding? The possibility of never seeing him again would be eating her alive and she would be of no use in earth.

She was so screwed up. Things were easier when she was just a soldier.

"Loki…" she said.

"What?"

"I saw something in that basin… something more than just Jotunheim." She said. Loki turned around and looked at her expectantly.

"The war has begun. Earth is under attack too." She said.

"No, the arc was playing with your fears." He said looking away. She grabbed his hand and forced him to look at her.

"I know what I saw."

"No, Midgard was saved for last. Thanos hadn't even started his journey last night. He would use the starships to attack the planet this time." Loki explained her.

"Do you really believe that? Jotunheim was supposed to be an ally but we both saw the Fire Giants attack!" Natasha said.

"We do not know what we saw! Images from the Arc of Fear are born to play with your mind. The dwarfs are not to be taken lightly and neither is that element spirit." Loki said.

"Really, Loki? Really? After everything that has been done you still are so blind?"

"Watch your mouth, woman!" he said threatening her.

"You said it yourself that Malekith was up to something! Why can't you accept the fact that they played you again" Natasha said.

"No!" Loki screamed and everything turned red. A wall appeared from nowhere separating the two lovers.

"Natasha, no!" he screamed and tried to reach her but more walls came from nowhere.

"Loki!" he heard her scream. Walls were appearing and disappearing from various directions creating an ever changing labyrinth. He needed to hurry. He couldn't lose her.

He started running taking turns on right and left trying to follow whatever cries he could get with his sensitive ears.

Red

He hated red.

Everything was red now.

"Ahhhh!" he heard a cry. It was her, he was certain and she had to be near by.

"Oh my god!" He heard her again and followed her voice as fast as he could. He would get to her. He would get to her and they would be safe and out of that place.

Damn the scepter, damn Midgard, Asgard and all the nine realms!

"Oh…Oh…Clint" That stopped him. He knew the birdman was not there. Was this cave playing with his fears?

He had to admit that even though he was certain Natasha loved him, he could not oversee her attachment to that circus boy and he had a major history in jealousy issues.

He almost destroyed a planet over it.

He walked towards the screams, noticing the walls had stopped moving. The red light that consumed the nothingness they were into, became darker. He turned around a corner and saw a mirror. He stood before it but he couldn't see his idol in it. Instead he saw one very familiar and perfect rounded backside giving quite a performance on top of a certain circus boy.

He saw red and red was not his favourite colour.

"This is not real. It is just a dark thought inside my mind." He kept repeating to himself but he stayed there, glued on the ground watching Natasha's idol as it sweat and moaned in pleasure in the hands of another man.

"_Just like in Budapest" Hawkeye said._

"_Mmm, we had some tough days back then but nothing like the capture of a crazy god trying to take over the world." She said._

"_Well, he's home now and I'm sure his daddy has quite a surprise for him." he said and turned around to kiss her._

Kiss her! His Natasha! Just after he had gone back to Asgard! While he was being humiliated and tortured in front of everyone that had been despising him for years, they had been sleeping together!

One punch

That was all it took

That was one punch he would be happy to give again even if it made his hand bleed.

The mirror broke and so did the hideous moment starting the craziness of the walls once again. He walked away, determined to find his future queen.

…..

"Loki!" Natasha was screaming running and jumping above walls trying to find him. They shouldn't be separated, she couldn't lose him again! She ran and ran trying to not lose his voice. Walls were jumping out of nowhere, closing halls, creating rooms, one ways where crossways were a moment ago. She got panicked at first, all that red and movement making her alertness go crazy but when she lost his voice she calmed down.

The Black Widow could get out of there.

The movement stopped once she calmed down and so she walked trying to find her way in this labyrinth. Suddenly she found herself in a dead end. There was nothing there except a mirror. She stood before it but the mirror remained black.

What kind of trick was that now?

Was it showing her fears or maybe her soul or something?

A light appeared inside the mirror. It was like a small fire, a candle. As the light became stronger she could distinguish a face. It was a young woman with brown eyes and blond hair. It was her, probably on some mission. Her disguise was perfect. She even had eye contacts on and facial prosthetics. She looked fearless as always. The candle moved further down illuminating the rest of her naked body tied on a chair. Now that had been a situation she had found herself into in multiple occasions.

"Why don't you light a light?" she asked the one holding the candle. Suddenly a flash back hit Natasha. She knew what that had been. It was a bit after Alexei had got missing. The first time she had put her charms in the game and had slept with someone willingly.

"Now, my little beauty, you do not want to spoil the game." A very familiar voice answered. "Besides you should know that all the other senses accelerate when your sight is limited." He added.

It had been him! It had been so many years ago, more than half a century but now that she brought every scene on her mind…

It had been him that night! It had been Loki!

She had been 'caught' and 'tortured' and 'kept' in a dark room. The door had opened at some point but she could tell it had not been her targets. She had seen him momentarily from the external lights. Tall and thin…

She could recall his voice now, that beautiful tone that sent shivers down her spine. He had been anything but gentle playing with that candle all night. She had done it because she had thought he had been the leader she had been looking for but after they had been done he had disappeared into thin air, leaving her only with some nasty bruises, bites and burns.

What the hell had Loki be doing in her mission seventy years ago?

Had he been following her since then? Was there a plan inside his mind? A sadistic plan of just breaking her and making her follow him like a good doggy?

As her old self moaned in pleasure and pain mixed she kicked the mirror shredding it to pieces.

The madness begun all over again

Walls were moving in a frenzy rhythm while the lights were going on and off like an alarm. The sound of the mirror breaking was filling the room with the changing partitions keeping the rhythm like a drum.

She walked steadily but fast avoiding anything that appeared in her way with the grace of the Black Widow. She turned and turned following her instinct. She would find him, make him pay and then she would ask him why.

"You Russian whore!" She heard his deep voice made for any human to tremble. She turned around to look at him. Walls were rising from the non existent ground but he surpassed them easily to get to her.

He saw nothing but a traitor.

She saw nothing but a beast.

"You filthy sadist." She said and walked to him determined to put her full training in action. He tried to slap her but she avoided easily and hit him hard on the nose. Loki took a few steps back and a wall separated them. Natasha slid in an opening on her right and he pulled her close by her hair. She elbowed him and returned the favor pulling his raven locks down on the ground.

"Was it your plan since the beginning?" She whispered in his ear trapping him on the ground with her knee.

"Only after I saw what you had done, you, mewling quim!" He said and kicked her from behind to free himself. He turned around and pinned her body against a partition.

"At least I learned something useful by falling in love with the Black Widow." He said just an inch from her face."

"How dare you lie to my face? You used me; you made me fall for a monster." She said and the partition fell to the ground making them lose their balance. Natasha took advantage of it and flipped flopped to the back getting lost behind another appearing wall. Loki followed her, roaring from anger but the few seconds he nearly tripped were enough for her to get lost inside that ever changing labyrinth.

But he would find her again and he would make her pay for everything she had said.

He ran to his left turning at will avoiding the walls that kept moving like crazy in that mind blowing rhythm.

"_Dadda?"_ he heard a child's voice. He turned around but he saw nothing.

"_Fire at will!" _he heard a man screaming and gunshots falling.

"_Father I need to go! I need to help them! Midgard needs me!" _a very familiar baritone yelled. Loki was turning around and around passing the walls trying to find the source. He ran and turned hoping to find something, anything.

"_You are needed here! Asgard is under attack! Your brother seems to have failed Jotunheim but he was right about this war and we will not let Asgard fall!" _ Odin's voice filled the labyrinth. Loki turned around and took a glimpse of his shining hair disappearing inside the ground along with the wall.

"No…" he whispered.

"_No! Millie, go back!" _Stark's voice startled him and he ran to the left as a partition was moving away.

"_We need to hold them back! I know these things better than anyone! Help will come!" _the familiar voice of his dear friend was fading away, blocked by another wall. Loki shook his head and ran away. Screams of pain were filling the labyrinth.

"_Fire! Fire! We're burning!"_ Hemlock's voice could be heard all around.

"_Dadda?" _ the child's voice ringed inside his ears.

"_AAAAA!" _Natasha. Natasha was screaming. Loki stopped trying to find the source. _"Loki I'm going to kill you!" _she screamed. She was in a lot of pain. He hated that, he didn't want to cause her pain. It was stupid to ever think she had betrayed him. Besides he had been nothing but an enemy back then.

"_AAAAAAAA, Loki!"_

"_One push, one push!" _He heard himself saying. He froze and tried to listen clearly. Was that a…

Was she ….?

Suddenly a wall passed before him and he saw them both with Natasha on his bed in Asgard holding her breath while a Healer was taking a baby out of her. The wall left as quickly as it had come but he was certain he had seen a bit of a red head.

"_Daddy?"_

"_Sssss! Don't speak they will kill us!"_

"_No, Pepper go back!"_

"_They are coming! They're here!" _Heimdal yelled in his deep voice.

"_For Asgard!" _Thor yelled.

"_No! Millie, no!" _ Steve screamed. A rain of bullets was heard. Loki looked behind him. His friend was lying on the ground in a pool of blood.

"No… no…"

The wall fell down and another came showing a dry desert, full of dead bodies.

Millie

Tony

A woman with red hair with three children he recognized from a photo.

The Avengers

His brother

His family

His Natasha

With her two small children with red and black hair.

"No!" his scream drowned into a thousand screams of a thousand people and the pain that never ended.

"No! Loki" He heard a sweet voice. "No, Loki, don't die on me. Loki, don't die! Get up damn it! I know I did stupid things but we're in this together remember? We're going to save the world together! Natasha and Loki!" she yelled at him trying to make him get up.

"Get up! Get up! I love you Loki, I'm sorry, I love you!" she said and she started crying. With every tear that fell on the ground a white spot appeared.

"Natasha…" he groaned and sat up. His eyes were glassy as well.

"I am sorry, I was wrong… by Odin I have made so many mistakes. I love you Natasha, do not ever leave me. I know the world would fall apart without you." He said and let his tears fall freely by hugging his one true love. Natasha hugged him back and buried her head in his neck. Close was not close enough. She thought she had lost him.

The walls disappeared and they found themselves in the same white room as before only now there was a small wooden door. Natasha saw it first and broke the embrace.

"Loki, look!" she said and helped him get up. Loki looked at the door deep in thought. He grabbed Natasha's hand and kept her at his side.

"I do not want to lose you. I do not want to lose the future with you. I thought I was enough for you. I thought that I cared about no one, that I had nothing to lose but you. I thought I had made my self immune to everything but then I realized… there are plenty of things I do not want to lose." He said touching the Time Gem around her neck.

"You are not as heartless as you wanted every one to believe." He said.

"That stands for you too, Black Widow." He said.

"I guess we pilled each others layers away." She said touching the hand that had the rock.

"Natasha, I am willing to give this up. We will return to Midgard and fight with whatever we have to win. I cannot guarantee that we will succeed; taking my history I would say that the possibilities would be rather against us, but I am willing to do whatever you want. I want to fight for you." He said.

"Only for me?" she asked him.

"No, I want to fight for our family and our friends, even for Jotunheim." He said making her smirk. Natasha touched his chest and got to the tips of her toes to kiss him on the lips.

"Loki, I don't want you to sacrifice your life for me. I don't want us to fight, I want us to win and then we are going to live a life full of fights and lots of suspense in our bedroom. So, let's go get this stick and kick all of their alien asses." She said smirking. Loki smiled and swept her off her feet to kiss her once more. He let her down and the both of them walked towards the door. They stood before it and looked at each other.

"Just one question before we get through that door. Were you romantically involved with Barton while I lived in your apartment?" he asked her. Natasha's eyebrows went beyond her scull.

"How did you come up with that?" she asked him.

"I saw you back there, on a mirror, bedding him right after New York… while I was in Asgard… being tortured… and I know you had previously…"

"First of all, what I did with my life before this happened…" She said and pointed at them both "… is not of your business and no, Clint was in China at that time." She answered him.

"But you would be seeing him of it wasn't for your 'mission'." He stated.

"I will answer this just because I know how much of a baby you are. I haven't slept with him ever since. I didn't mean to sleep that night with him but you had frightened me the day before and that is my way to cope with things." She said and left him nodding his head in shame.

"Since you want to talk about things back there before we do this…tell me one thing; Finland, 1943, in a dark hut in a forest." She said crossing her arms.

"1943… I guess that was long ago for you…" he said trying to remember.

"Answer the question, Odinson." She said taking her bossy posture.

"I do not make a habit of traveling to Midgard regardless of what you may think but I guess you are referring to when I got my title as God of Fertility." He said and she looked at him suspiciously.

"You know, such titles are hard to get but I do have many talents. I kind of had enough children in an early age; both fathered and mothered them as you know. The last one was not good for my ego and after that hideous feast I was quite angry. The fact I kept hearing people praying for a child in my ears was not helping."

"So you just came to Earth and decided to have your way with a random girl?" Natasha asked him.

"No, I was called by my new instincts and my need to prove my manhood. I think I cured quite a few women that night." He said.

"Quite a few?" she yelled at him and hit his shoulders.

"Why the violence? And how do you… Oh, do not tell me you were one of them." He said. Natasha narrowed her eyes at him and poked his chest.

"Let's say that the next time we sleep together I will use a candle on you." she said.

"Oh" Loki said. "Well, I know it means nothing but you are definitely the best I had." He said and got another hit.

"I will surpass that; what do you mean by cured?" she asked him.

"Well, I am God of Fertility; the title sort of comes along with certain powers. My seed cures barren wombs." He said and now Natasha was ready to faint.

"Do you mean that all these years I could… I could…?"

Loki put a finger on her lips to silence her.

"I thought it would be better for you to find it out by yourself but since we are to walk to our doom I think you need to know." He whispered. Natasha frowned as he bended over her ear. His hand traveled low on her abdomen and her eyes were shot open with realization.

"You carry my child." He said and he kissed her, opening the door to the unknown.

* * *

**And... yeah, i know, I know... but I couldn't resist. I am afraid though we won't have the pleasure to actually meet the Lokisons except maybe from inside the cave. I have other plans for Loki and Natasha in this story. **

**Only one more door and the real fight against Chaos begins!**


	34. The fruit of Lethe

**Hi! Sorry for the unusual delay but I'm sick and it's been difficult for me to write. Anyway I managed to finish this and I hope you like it even if it's different from the other chapters.**

**Explaining the title : Lethe (ληθη) in Greek means forgetting. The fruit of Lethe refers to Odysseus and his trip to the island of the Lotus eater. His men ate the fruit of the lotus and forgot about their families and homes back in Ithaca. **

**Just a hint**

* * *

Half of a man

Eating the fruit of Lethe

The room was dark. A faint light was dancing on the walls but darkness prevailed. Loki took a step forward and the floor squeaked. He did it again, pressing the sole of his boot, back and forth.

"I think we are on some kind of wooden floor." He said but got no reply.

"Maybe we are in some kind of house." He added but again no one replied.

"Maybe we are in some kind of dimension where mortal women turn into stone." But again nothing.

"Natasha, are you here?" he asked worried and looked for her in the dark. He managed to reach her shoulder and he heard her gasp. He turned around and caressed her face. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

"What did you mean exactly by saying I carry your child?" she asked him. Loki froze for a moment but let himself laugh at her question.

"I believe that I used the same term they use in Midgard. You, my lovely spider, are with child, pregnant, there is a little man growing inside you." He said touching her stomach.

"How do you know? We're not together that long and it is too early for knowing…"

"I need not to remind you of my power to know such gifts. I am, as you humans like to say, a god, after all." He said and hugged her kissing her forehead. Natasha leaned on his chest breathing in his scent.

She couldn't believe it.

She was going to have a child; Loki's child.

She was going to be a mother.

How could she be a mother, she barely looked after herself. She was nothing like Pepper when it came to children. The only interaction she had with the Stark kids was their fighting training. They were having a good time though…

What would she tell her children when they would grow up and ask how mommy and daddy met? Oh, I met your father during his invasion in Earth. I was an ex – spy and a SHIELD agent and I kicked his villain ass in interrogation.

That actually sounded kind of cool… if you left out the whole killing people and red ledger out.

Oh, Natasha, focus! First things first, you need to find that stupid stick and go save the world. When the world is safe and if you are still alive along with that little bundle in you, then you will worry about it.

Natasha took a deep breath and broke Loki's hug.

"Usually there's a light switch right by the door." She said and looked for it with her hand. Finally she found something and the room was showered in light.

They were inside a house indeed; a very familiar house made of dark wood and extraordinary handicraft furniture. There were dark, green, thick, carpets all over and a big living room ahead of them. The two of them stepped forward and reached the big couch in the living room. It was the same couch Loki had been sleeping over a month ago.

Was it really that recently?

Had it been only one month since he had lied down, alongside Natasha, next to his lake and had strangled to find out the truth about his dreams?

"We are in your house in Norway." Natasha vocalized his thoughts.

"Yes, but much has changed." He replied looking around. There were new furniture, like bookshelves and a dining table, a big television with various cables coming out of it and a variety of books and toys spread all across the hall.

"It looks as if there are people living here." She added and Loki nodded. He walked to where Natasha had slept for the few nights she had stayed. The room looked definitely bigger and more casual. There were green carpets and bed sheets as well, clothes were on the dresser and a few photos were on the walls.

"Loki!" Natasha yelled and he exited the room to follow her. She was standing at the feet of the stairs looking at the dark wall. There were portraits on it, different than those he had been met with every time he woke up in the morning. There was of course Nancy's portrait but instead of the rest of the Royal line there were portraits of Frigga and Odin, Thor, him and Natasha and a family portrait with Natasha holding a baby and a red headed boy standing alongside him.

"At least we know we are not facing our past again." He said.

"Does that mean we are facing the future?" she asked him.

A loud noise was heard from the first floor and a big, black cat ran down the stairs fast.

"A black cat?" Natasha said.

"Do you believe in jinx?" Loki asked her but soon their attention was caught by the screams on the floor.

"No, Fury! Come back!" a young boy yelled.

"Let the stupid cat be gone! I wish I could transform it into dust and blow it away!" a second young voice was heard and quite soon two pairs of feet were seen descending the stairs. Loki and Natasha were standing at the end of it with their hands folded, waiting. The two children froze at the sight of them. All four of them looked equally surprised by what they were seeing.

"You are home early." The red haired boy said. He was around ten years old with green eyes that resembled those of Loki. The boy in front of him looked at them with a set of green blue eyes as he tried to take the final steps unnoticed probably to find the cat. He was quite younger than his brother, around five years of age and had black hair that reached his neck.

"But we are home." Loki said trying to analyze the situation. He could feel his magic returning and with that his telepathy to Natasha. At least they both had the same picture. That was their home and those boys were their children.

"And we don't like what we see." Natasha added. They needed to buy some time and figure things out.

"Vali…" the younger boy said in a sweet voice that resembled that of a singing bird.

"No, Narfi…" the older boy argued and the both of them started speaking simultaneously getting louder by the second.

"Silence!" Loki yelled and the two boys stopped. "I hate it when I remind me of my father." The young god added looking at Natasha.

"Vali, was the living room like that when we left?" Natasha asked. The red haired boy looked at her and shook his head. "Has the cat broken something that it wasn't supposed to?" she asked again.

"It's not my fault, Narfi, brought Mr. Fury in my room and put him on me while I was asleep. I got scared seeing him suddenly over my face and … well…"

"Do not lie, Vali." Loki said looking at his son knowingly. The boy looked at him and swallowed hard.

"Ok, I stayed up late to look at the late star shower on the telescope and the stupid cat appeared out of nowhere and scared me. I kicked it out of instinct!" the boy said.

"No, you hate Mr. Fury! He just wanted to keep you company and you kicked him!" the younger boy said.

"did not!"

"Did too"

"I will not yell again." Loki said silencing them once more. "What was broken?" Loki asked them. The two boys looked at each other before answering.

"The column of memories." Narfi said.

Loki and Natasha looked at each other confused. What was this Column of Memories? It had to be something important for the boys to look so upset. Maybe it was another magic object like the Arc of fear.

The four of them walked up the stairs. Vali and Narfi stopped at the last step waiting for Loki and Natasha to pass them. The two adults reached the small corridor and switched the light.

There were broken glasses everywhere and various things were spread on the carpet, most of them broken as well. Loki tried to sense anything magical that could come out of them but he shook his head at Natasha.

Everything seemed normal.

"Well, they sure are the children of the God of Chaos." She said pointing at the open door on their left. Quite a few objects where lying on the floor, damaged, along with toys and books.

"Well, the God of Chaos, surely, did not have them all by himself." Loki answered back smirking.

"Oh, well, it is known to happen." Natasha replied grinning.

"I have evidence that a two legged red head spider participated too." He said.

"Maybe but since you are the expert in Chaos, you should fix this." Natasha answered.

"Chaos not order; I believe what you are asking is order my dear." Loki replied smirking. Natasha crossed her arms and pointed her look at him.

"Loki, the glass, now." She commanded and the Asgardian god laughed lightly before moving his hand to restore everything in its place.

The column of memories stood before them all shiny and glassy with a paper sign written possibly by the youngest one. Inside it there were rocks of various colours and wooden toys made by the dwarfs as well as pictures of them and some very familiar faces.

"So, there's the column of memories." Natasha said. Loki nodded and pointed at a picture on the second shelf.

"Is that Jotunheim?" Loki asked. The two children looked at him confused and approached them.

"No, that's from last Christmas in Russia." Narfi said.

"You said Jotunheim is not safe for little children." Vali added looking at him suspiciously. Loki nodded and smirked at the two boys.

"Well, Russia looks like Jotunheim a lot except that Jotun women are prettier." He said and got a punch on his shoulder from nowhere.

"Your puny father lost a lot of energy and doesn't know what he is talking about. You'd better go to bed, now, it's late." Natasha said and the two boys laughed out aloud before saying goodnight and disappearing into their rooms.

"Father?" Loki wondered looking at the two doors. Natasha came from behind and stood by his side.

"Well, they are your children." She said.

"As much as they are yours." He added and kissed her. They stayed like that and then turned around to look at the pictures. There were various pictures of them in the forest, in the beach, in Asgard, in New York… There were pictures of their friends as well and Loki's family.

"Is that who I think it is?" Natasha said indicating a picture on the lowest shelf.

"Yes, I believe that is Mildred Stark holding a baby." Loki said. "And that is Tony Stark with grey hair." He added.

"Oh my, I think… look… that must be Edward and Marie and Logan." Natasha said identifying the adolescents as the Stark kids.

"What is Barton doing with my children?" Loki asked unhappy.

"I think the question is, what are your babies doing to Barton?" Natasha said smiling seeing the picture with her best friend and partner being knocked out by two much younger Lokisons.

Loki looked at her and the both of them smiled awkwardly.

Lokisons

It was happening.

"What is this test Loki? What are we doing here?" She asked him.

"I do not know but we will find out soon enough. Let's get down and have some sleep." He said leading her to the ground floor.

"What if something happens while we are asleep?" Natasha said worried.

"Do not worry, my spider, I will stay awake and guard our future while you rest." He said opening the door to the old guest room. He helped Natasha take off her boots and the Russian climbed on the bed. She hadn't realized how tired she had been. Loki lied down next to her and gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair until she fell asleep.

He felt safe there even though he knew they weren't. They had to get out of there soon or else the cave would suck them in.

Natasha woke up a few hours later feeling a lot more relaxed and ready to face everything. She could feel Loki being near, he was still holding her. His breath was deep and even but he was not asleep. A quick glance towards him told her that.

"You'd better catch some sleep too before all chaos breaks lose." She said getting up. Loki chuckled and kissed her neck before she had a chance to read his intentions.

"I am Chaos remember?" he said. Natasha buried her hands in his hair and kissed him back savoring the moment. It seemed like an eon ago that she had last felt his sweet lips. He traveled low, down her abdomen relieving her from her T-shirt. He kissed her stomach as his talented fingers worked on her pants.

"Loki…" she gasped.

"Yes, that is my name." he replied.

"Loki, the children…" she said suppressing a moan. Loki tossed the pair of pants away and caressed her thighs.

"They are asleep."

"They will wake up soon." She argued.

"We will lock the door." He replied planting feather kisses on her inner thigh.

"What if something happens like last night?" she asked breathless.

"For Odin's name, woman!" Loki yelled frustrated. "For an ex spy and the deadliest woman on Midgard you're quite the worrying mother." Loki said and laughed. He brought himself over her and kissed her lips. "Get up." He commanded softly. Natasha looked at him weird but he had no time for that. He swept her off her feet and disappeared in the bathroom.

It was still quite early when Natasha emerged from their bedroom to the dark hallway. She was relaxed and happy. She never thought this could be a good break. She looked on her left and decided to walk up the stairs. She entered Vali's room first. She tiptoed to his bed unnoticed, like the spy she was and sat on the edge of the bed. The young boy was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful and innocent.

That was the child in her womb. How had two monsters made something so beautiful?

She remembered what the Norse mythology said about Vali and Narfi. He was supposed to kill him and then Loki would be captured with his son's entrails. Seeing him now, she couldn't believe that something like that could happen. No, her babies would never do that.

Natasha smirked and looked out of the window. Oh, how she understood Frigga right now!

She looked back at Vali and caressed his red hair.

After all, not all legends are true, wasn't that what Loki had told her?

The small boy moved and ever so lightly opened his green eyes. They were shining in the dark just like Loki's.

"Mom?" he said in his sleepy voice. "do I have to get up?" he asked hiding his face in his pillow.

"Not just yet, Vali. The sun has yet to rise." She told him.

"So no early running today?" he asked her surprising her. Well, she assumed that early training would be something she would with her children. She did with Stark's children so why not with hers?

"No, you stay and sleep." She said and kissed his head. "You will wake up when you smell breakfast." She said smiling and left the boy to sleep.

She went to Narfi's room next. There was a power in sleeping children she couldn't deny. It was like a testament that innocence did exist in the world.

She walked to the bed but to her great surprise she found it empty. A small amount of panic hit her but then she remembered the cat.

Mr. Fury? Really?

With a scandalous smirk on her face and the hope that she would find her youngest where she guessed he was she descended the stairs and searched the living room. Luckily the cat was purring so loud that it was impossible not to hear it. She walked to the kitchen and opened the lights.

The sight made her laugh and melt at the same time. The little boy had snuggled along with the black cat inside the basket. She approached the pair and fell on her knees to attend to the situation. She caressed the cat enough to wake her.

It had such a soft skin and a look of superiority, like it knew it was a royal cat or something. Natasha lifted the cat away from the basket and reached her son.

"Narfi… Narfi wake up." She said but the boy was heavy sleeper. "Narfi, honey, Mr. Fury ran away." She said. The boy extended his hand to confirm the statement and when he came with nothing but the pillow he bolted up.

Oh, she was such a terrible mother.

"Mr. Fury!" The boy cried but the cat jumped back on the basket calming him down.

"Narfi, you shouldn't sleep in there, you have a bed and that's Mr. Fury's bed." Natasha said trying hard not to laugh.

"But… he was scared and hurt. I had to make sure he was alright." The young boy said in sleepy voice.

It was adorable. Natasha never thought she would say it but he was adorable. He was like an innocent and naïve mini-Loki with the most wonderful eyes she had ever seen.

"Mr. Fury is a tough guy, he's been through worse." She said and as of instinct she took him in her arms to carry him back in his room. The small boy rapped his limbs around her like a small octopus. Oh, the smell of the little baby! It made her want to squeeze him and never let him go.

Haha, so much for the cold hearted Black Widow.

"Mom?" Narfi said as Natasha put him into bed. "My birthday is in two days." He said. Natasha smiled and nodded.

"It is so?" she said.

"Yes, can we have a party this year? I want to invite Morgan and Jenny and Arthur…"

"Ok, honey, we'll see what we can do." Natasha said.

"But no elves this year, they weren't nice the last time." He said before he fell asleep taking her aback.

The red head woman walked down the stairs again and decided to give a try at making breakfast for her men. She opened the cupboards and found them of all sorts of things.

Ok, either there's someone taking care of things here or she had really changed.

She grabbed some flour and eggs and proceeded in making pancakes. That was something they would surely adore. Not more than an hour later she saw Loki emerging from their room clad only in a pair of black slacks.

He looked really hot with that sleepy look on his face and his hair being a mess.

"Did I wake you?" She asked him as he hugged her, still half asleep sniffing at the smell of pancakes.

"Your breakfast did; I hope you have gotten better since our time in New York." he said and got elbowed away.

"You did attack all of my plates with quite the appetite if I remember correctly." She said with a menacing look.

"Ehehe, now woman, do not fret. Besides every time that lunch consisted of flour and eggs, you were quite the appetizer." He said and got another playful punch on his arm. Loki laughed and grabbed her kissing her lips hungrily. It didn't take long for Natasha to respond and run her hands up and down his bare back.

"Yack."

"Grosse."

Two young voices were heard and the two adults broke up trying to catch their breaths. Loki laughed as he turned around to look at his sons.

His sons

He couldn't believe it. He must have done something right to be granted with two beautiful boys like them. They did look a lot like them but he could clearly see Natasha in both of them. The way Vali stood, his hair, Narfi's big eyes… they were perfect.

"Ehehe, boys will be boys. I will wait until you are in you adolescence and then I will yuck you and grosse you." He said falling to their level. He messed their already messed hair and walked back to his bedroom to put on a T-shirt more out of decency than anything else. He came back finding his little family around the table enjoying their meal.

"Daddy, can we have a party for my birthday? Please, please, please!" Narfi said the moment the prince sat on his chair. Loki grabbed a pancake and smelled it to tease Natasha who narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why not?" He answered.

"Because the elves attacked us the last time." Vali said pretty serious. If that affected Loki he didn't show it.

"Well, everything turned out good for us to be here so…" he said purring some orange juice in his glass.

"Great! We never have visitors and now everyone will be coming!" Narfi said. He was just a little bundle of joy; strange for someone who resembled Loki so much.

"Who's everybody, sweetheart?" Natasha asked him.

"Well, Ms. Tolo for one and Jenny and Uncle Bruce and Hawkey…" he said making Natasha choke on the last one.

"Hawkey?" she said.

"As if you didn't get it." Loki said smirking.

Natasha tried to hide her smile but it was of no use. As their breakfast continued she forgot all of her problems and let the joyful talk of the guest list fill her ears.

"When will Ms. Tolo come? It's past her time." Vali said suddenly.

"She won't come today, silly! It's Saturday." Narfi said grinning. Vali nodded and finished his food.

"Since you have nothing to do then maybe we should discuss your punishment for last night." Loki said absent minded. The two boys looked at him with eyes wide open.

"Dad, not the stables again, please!" Vali said in a desperate voice. Loki smirked remembering how that had been his worst punishment until he mastered the cleaning spell.

"Well… maybe you should clean the house then. It resembles the stables a lot thanks to you." Loki said making the boy bend his head.

"As for you young man…" Loki said looking at Narfi whose eyes were as big as a cartoon's.

"I didn't do anything!" he protested.

"Did you not play with the video game whose cables are everywhere?" Loki said and the small boy tried to answer.

"Did you not scatter your toys all around the living room along with your brother?

Were you not awake late at night beyond your bed time while we were out?" Loki said making the boy pout.

"Maybe he should come with you to clean the garden and search for logs for the fire place." Natasha said.

Their meal was over and father and son left the house leaving Natasha alone with Vali.

"So, you start there, I start here and whoever gets to finish first will get a favor." She said and the boy smirked a familiar mischievous smirk.

"No magic." She added and his head fell.

Loki and Narfi were cleaning the wild herbs away from their small garden. It was bigger than that he had made when he had first settled there. It was nowhere near the size of the gardens in Asgard but it was quite big and had everything, from vegetables to unique flowers and trees. All the trees near their house seemed to be at their best season all year around. It was as if his mood reflected on their branches.

After a couple of hours they were both filthy, with dirt all over them. He could of course have used magic but he was supposed to teach his younger son a lesson; to take over his responsibilities and admit his faults so he can fix them.

Ironic, ha?

"Dad, are we finished?" the small boy complaint buried among the tall flowers. Loki found him lied down with his feet and arms spread among a bunch of Tih'ara, a flower he had created. The young god crossed his arms and smirked at his son. He was shorter than he had been at his age but he had his features and magic. His eyes though… They reminded him of Natasha so much; big, blue green that looked at everything with wonder.

Like a small alien in a foreign planet.

"Oh, it is you down there; and I thought some kind of pig had invaded our garden." Loki and the little guy burst into laughter.

"Daddy, I'm not a piggy!" he giggled.

"Really? Well, you look like a piggy and you smell like a piggy so…" Loki said grabbing him and tossing him over his shoulder like he would have done with a hunt and started walking out of the garden yelling.

"Hey, Natasha, Vali, look what I found. A piggy got in our garden and I caught it! I have a piggy! He is going to be nice dinner! Thor should come and have a bite! Oh, I should have a bite first." He said biting at his leg. Narfi laughed out loud causing Natasha and Vali to get out.

"God, you're a mess." She said. Loki looked inside the house and arched an eyebrow.

"I thought you would clean the house not create chaos. That's my specialty." He said.

"We did but mom lost and she was showing me some moves so…" Vali said and Loki nodded.

"That's all I need." Loki said.

"Oh, do you want to try?" Natasha said putting her arms on her waist.

"Fight against the Black Widow? Always a pleasure." Loki said smirking.

"Let the piggy down, first!" Narfi yelled from his shoulder and every body laughed.

Loki let him down and everyone ran to the lake near the shelter. Before they took positions to fight both the adults noticed the giant wolf at the other end of the small lake.

It was just for a second and then he disappeared.

Something weird was going on with the lake but soon they would forget it again.

Two days later they were all celebrating Narfi's birthday near that lake. Thor and Jane were there along with their daughter Jenny, Odin and Frigga and the warriors three. Hawkeye was the first to come wearing normal clothes. He and Loki succeeded in exchanging a few words without killing each other. Steve came along with Maria Hill, Bruce as well. The Starks managed to get there last. Tony's hair was grey around the temples but Pepper was forever beautiful. Edward and Marie were blathering about some new game that apparently they had made. Logan disappeared with Vali the moment he saw him.

"Uncle Loki!" a small boy yelled and ran towards him. He had messy brown hair and chestnut eyes that reminded him of someone.

"Morgan!" Loki said and hugged the boy back. Mildred was not far behind followed by her loyal Riley who was talking to the phone instead of her.

"Hello my friend, it's been a lot of time." She said.

"Indeed." Loki replied. Narfi grabbed Morgan and Jenny and to play hide and seek.

All of those people.

He knew them. He knew their names, their past, he even had memories of them but… something was off.

He searched for Natasha and saw her talking to Barton and Bruce. The red head sensed his gaze and looked back at him. She felt the same. He could tell. It was as if they were there but they didn't exist.

What was wrong?

"What happens once you're king of the mountain?" a girl said. Loki turned around and saw that the youngsters had abandoned hide and seek and were playing some kind of role game.

"None of these ends with you on top." Morgan said.

Loki felt Natasha standing by his side. Suddenly two red head boys, Logan and Vali appeared sparring with two sticks.

"Puny God!"

"What are you going to do without your stick?" Jenny said.

"It's a spear!" Both Lokisons yelled.

Loki looked at Natasha with a knowing look. She nodded. There was something… something in the back of their minds. It was straggling to get out but something… something was blocking it.

A weird feeling wrapped them. It was fear and despair. They had forgotten something.

What?

What was that spear?

The stick

The spear

The scepter

Suddenly Loki turned around and locked eyes with the giant wolf on the other side of the lake. Natasha did the same. The wolf meant something.

Why did the wolf mean something to her?

_What's with the wolf?_

_That's Fenrir; he's a friend of mine._

Cold; she remembered being very cold in a land of giants.

She remembered a cave… a spear.

"Hodnir" Loki whispered. Natasha looked at him trying to remember. Loki looked at the happy feast scared.

Nothing of that was real.

They were still inside that cave and the world was not safe; the world was falling apart.

Upon that realization the wolf jumped over the lake and landed in front of him. Only he wasn't Fenrir anymore. It was him, in his Jotun form but instead of blue skin his was charcoal black. His red eyes were shining and had a sinister smile on his face, the huge horns that used to be part of his helmet were now part of his body and in his filthy hand he held a honey crystal spear.

Hodnir

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Next comes the battle between our heroes and their evil twins.**

**Who will win? Who will get the spear and get out of the cave?**

**Note that I just decided that this story will hardly reach the 40 chapters and I'm racing time so I can update as fast as possible.**


	35. Yin and Yan

Half of a man

Yin and Yan

The happy landscape seemed unchanged by this new intruder. People were chatting happily and kids were still playing with their fake magical wands. Everything was calm and normal.

Except for them

Loki and Natasha stood side by side scanning this new creature that had appeared out of nowhere. He resembled Loki but his burnt skin was downright charcoal black and his marks were shining red. His red eyes were pure evil. In his hands he held the mythic spear of Jotun, the Hodnir.

"Who are you?" Natasha asked him with a low voice that frustrated her. She wasn't afraid. She wasn't afraid of anything!

The creature looked at her cocking his head on the side and smirking.

"Well, I am Loki off course." He answered.

"No, you're not." Natasha said getting more confident now. She looked up to her lover's face and saw his discomfort. He was tensed and his jaw was tight. Something was wrong.

"Oh, but he knows better, don't you?" the sinister laugh of the dark creature captured her attention again. His bloody eyes were now focused on the man next to her. Loki tightened his fist and breathed heavily.

"Oh, you know exactly who I am. Ehehe, I like this; all this sentimentality and kindness… go on, tell her." The dark Jotun said. Loki swallowed hard and turned his face towards Natasha looking at the ground though. He couldn't bring himself to admit the truth. He knew but if the words left his mouth it would be real then.

"Time with the Midgardians has made you weak. I despise you! Tell her who I am, tell her your true identity!" the demon yelled.

"You are not…"

"It is me." Loki interrupted her with a whisper. Natasha stopped and looked at him with eyes wide open. She tried to ask him what did he mean but he put a finger on her mouth.

"After I… after I killed my brother I… I thought there was something wrong with me. I did not know of my true parentage at the time and I was but a young lad taking hold of his magic. I thought I was evil so to protect my family… I… I found a wise old man; a mentalist and he separated my soul." He said and a deep gasp made his head fell even lower. Natasha looked at her lover not able to believe her ears.

What was he saying? He had separated his soul? Was that even possible?

_Has he no soul?_

"I thought that by keeping Him locked somewhere in my mind, I would protect my family." He admitted in a defeated voice.

"Now we both know how that ended, don't we weak head?" The dark Loki said. Loki stiffened again and clenched his fist. He thought he had gotten rid of Him. He thought that everything would be normal after that but life was never soft on him.

"It wasn't Loki's fault!" Natasha tried to defend him to his dark self but his sinister laugh, resembling that of the devil himself, made her sick.

"I am Loki, my little Russian wench; I am every hateful thought, every angry word, and every sinister dream. I am his blood thirst, his madness and his cruelty. I am his power and he is the weakness." The dark soul said smirking at the two of them.

Loki looked at him with distaste. He was everything that was bad about him and apparently there were plenty for he was powerful. He remembered now how light he had felt when he had locked him in a cell on the back of his mind, hearing his roars and pleas to come out every time Loki got mad. Unfortunately that was quite often. However his mind power was always exceptional and therefore the little shadow stayed lock; but every bad thought, every dirty desire mad him grow stronger and stronger weakening his barriers. The truth of his parentage had been the last straw that unleashed the monster. He had made a few efforts to get back his control but Thanos got to him first.

"That old goat you call father did the trick though; he put me back for good and then that bullet… Ehehe, you were quite lucky but now… now I have this." The dark figure said and tossed the Hodnir from one hand to the other.

"What do you want?" Loki finally said. His evil half laughed and leaned casually on his stick. He was so calm it got to his nerves. Loki was known to never lose his temper and superiority in times like that but now…

His own reflection scared him.

"Oh, what do all men want? Why do people fight over and over again dying stupidly for hundreds and hundreds of years across the universe?" he said.

"Freedom." Natasha answered. She stood her ground firm holding Loki's hand. No matter what, they were in this together and together they would win.

"You want to leave this body and act independently. Sorry for not wanting a maniac double to ran across the universe getting me in trouble." Loki mocked and Natasha relaxed a bit. If Loki was cocky enough to mock this monster then they might have a chance.

"Who said you'll be out as well? My dear half, you should know better that; two objects cannot be at the same place at the same time." Evil Loki said. Natasha looked at him confused trying to comprehend his train of thought if there was one. But something in that sentence sounded familiar. Suddenly two voices belonging to two separate men popped in her head.

_No, that's wrong. He should be dead the moment he entered the timeline. Two objects cannot be at the same place at the same time, one of them needs to be removed._

"Only one of us gets out of here alive." Loki's evil twin said as if he had heard her thoughts. "So I'm going to give you a choice because of the few thousand years you kept me around. You either stay here with your friends and family and live a heavenly life with them, never have to worry about invasions or any maniacs for that matter Or you do the noble and stupid thing of fighting me." He added.

Natasha and Loki looked around. The avengers were sitting around a table discussing something that obviously Tony found hilarious. Edward and Marie were talking with Sif and Hogun while Fandral and Volstag were sparring with Jenny, Logan and Vali. Pepper was speaking with Jane and Riley sipping casually on their drinks and the Queen and King had gathered the young boys for a fairy tale.

Everything was so calm, so peaceful.

It made his heart fill with joy. Yes, maybe he could live a life like that.

He turned towards Natasha who was watching the oblivious bunch having fun. She was smiling lightly. Suddenly her smile flew away though and looked at him with the serious look of the Russian spy.

He saw flashes of a human sea, filled with dead people, dead Asgardians and Jotuns.

Nothing of these was real. It was only an illusion.

"I may not be a hero but I am not a coward. I will not flee and hide in some kind of illusion letting you spread chaos. Besides that is my job." Loki said smirking. Natasha kept neutral but she was smiling inside. They would bring him down.

"Alright then, since you don't need them." The dark Jotun said and with a swing of his spear every guest, every child, friend and parent fell dead painting the light grass red. Loki flinched but did not run to them. He felt Natasha doing the same. They saw their friends on the ground with their lifeless eyes staring to eternity. They looked at their boys as they laid down into bloodied masses. Just a few minute ago they could hear them laughing and playing.

Just then both them realized how it felt to lose someone so close no matter if it was real or not. At that moment the pain of hundreds of victims and their families hit them.

But they did not flee, they hardly moved. They took a deep breath and looked at the blood thirsty existence that was grinning maniacally.

"Just so we make the fight more interesting…" he said and another swing took the lake and the forest away replacing them with a burden land that resembled Muspelheim. The dead bodies remained there. A light gasp draw his attention.

Natasha was bounded. She was chained to the ground with heavy cuffs on her wrists and ankles and a collar around her neck.

"What is the meaning of this?" Loki demanded. His demonic equivalent smirked and an odd sensation made him want to vomit.

He was really a monster

"I want her to be the extra prize; after all I am such a little devil." He said and Loki was pushed back by an incredible force. He stood his ground and looked back. His darkest half was still standing giving him a taste of his own smirk.

Alright, he would show the little demon who was the one and only Loki Odinson.

He extended his hand and called upon his scepter. It surprised him somewhat that it actually appeared given the fact that they were in a slot of time and space. He released an energy blast and let his full armor along with his helmet to appear on his body.

The evil shadow cocked his head on the side avoiding Loki's attack without an effort. But Loki was not scared. It wasn't what he was aiming for.

He knew himself better than anyone would think.

He threw a bunch of energy daggers and ran towards his opponent. His evil twin extinguished them with a simple move and blocked Loki's physical attack. He threw him down and brought the Hodnir on his head with force. The Asgardian God raised his scepter and blocked the attack swinging his leg to throw the demon down.

That was something he had learned from Natasha.

The demon fell down and Loki swung his spear to slice his chest but the moment he touched them a great energy wave threw him several metres back.

"Loki!" Natasha screamed but he couldn't hear her. His ears were ringing. He pushed himself on his knees and opened his eyes. The sight made him want to vomit. He had landed next to the corpse of his younger son. His face was full of blood and his big beautiful eyes were blank. All because of him.

"Loki, it's not real! Remember, it's not real." Natasha screamed fighting to free herself.

As of instinct the God the Mischief bolted up hitting his evil opponent before he could slice him in half. With a graceful turn he caught his scepter and found the charcoal black head sending it metres away.

"Never, ever think you can beat me at my own game." Loki said approaching him.

"You forget that it is my game too." The dark figure said and liquid fire bolted up from beneath the ground.

Natasha

It only took a moment of distraction for the young god to find himself roaring in pain as the fire penetrated his sensitive skin.

"God of Fire and Chaos; kind of ironic for a Frost giant don't you think?" the demon said but his laugh was cut by a beam of ice that took him off guard. Another one glued him on the ground and a third made all the fire fountains disappear.

Loki emerged from the smokes with his clothes broken and somewhat tired. He threw his helmet and upper layers of his armor away before the evil shadow could charge him again. Loki matched hit for hit defending himself with his scepter. He was losing ground though. All this heat and the energy he had wasted had tired him.

He couldn't let Natasha fry being chained with no chance of escaping.

"You are weak, pathetic. You let your emotions get in the way. You are a disgrace for your name; you puny god." His evil twin said.

"I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose; the purpose of getting out of here with that!" Loki whispered and pushed him back. He hit him with the scepter and let a magic attack. The dark Loki dismissed it and threw him a rain of fire daggers. Loki matched them with ice balls and green blades. Losing no time he charged him with a powerful spell. A blue fire swallowed the dark figure making him disappear. But Loki didn't smile for his victory.

A sear pain went through his body. His scream filled the barren land. He could feel all of his blood rushing to the right of his back. He needn't look down to realize what had happened. Much like he had done to Coulson, he was now stabbed from behind.

"You cannot beat me; for every trick you have I have a thousand more, for every spell, I have a thousand more. I have no morals, no mercy and that makes me powerful." He whispered in his ear before getting the Hodnir out of him.

Loki heard someone scream but he couldn't place the voice; there was a warm feeling in it though. He fell on his knees holding on his wound, feeling the cold blood running freely as if it was a river.

He had lost

He was about to die

He was so tired

He felt blood rising in his throat and fell on his hands to spit it on the ground. It had a metallic taste and it was cold. So that was what blood tasted like; what his blood tasted like. He raised his eyes and looked at the dark figure looking at him.

He never had a chance to win

He was everything he was, he knew everything he knew, every move, every spell, everything and he had no remorse. He was more powerful than him.

Why couldn't the story end up as all those stories in Midgard that he had read?

Justice always prevails and such

Was this justice?

The dark figure lowered in front of him and pulled his hair so he could look at his eyes. His breath was horrible and his hair was sticking to his head.

"The stronger prevails, Loki. You knew that and you forgot it. We used to be one, you and I; we could rule the world together, like Yin and Yan. Now you will rot in this pit of time fabric while I take your woman and your world." He said and let him fall.

Loki let some more blood fly off his lips but something had caught his attention.

Yin and Yan

_What is that, I see it all around New York._

_Well, of course, Tom, that's the symbol of Yin and Yan, male and female, good and evil. A bit of black inside the white and a bit of white inside the black, it's the essence of balance._

Balance

Good and evil together

One could not exist without the other and they were the same

One person with a bit of black and a bit of white in him

"Stop" Loki tried to yell but a weird sound came out of his mouth. The evil figure stopped however and approached him.

"Does the King of Losers have any last words?" he mocked. Loki tried to get up but he felt so weak. His clothes were soaked and the ground beneath him was in deep crimson colour. He fell once or twice and heard his evil self laughing mocking him.

"Why did everyone think that a weakling such as you could conquer anything but a bottle of ants?"

Loki succeeded in standing up but he was not very stable. He managed a bloody smirk and brought one leg in front of the other.

"You may be the boot but I am the leg that moves you." He said and the dark figured looked at him confused for the first time.

"We are nothing without each other." Loki added and in a move no one expected he launched himself forward and grabbed his darkest part from the wrist. He was burning hot and had a smell of hundreds of corpses. The demon tried to free himself but it was to no avail, Loki's grip was very firm. The Asgardian God started murmuring something making the mythical Spear glow a honey, golden light.

"What?" evil Loki said.

"You are me and I am you." Loki said as the light engulfed them both in a golden sphere that grew bigger and bigger. Their hands melted together in a mixture of white and black. Their bodies were attracted like magnets and melt like wise until all that was left was a spinning mass of black and white.

Natasha watched in awe as the mass kept spinning faster and faster taking with it all the angry roars the curses. The golden orb grew bigger and bigger reminding her of stars that were about to explode.

Then it happened

An incredible force threw her back as her sight was filled by a sudden burst of light. She could hear someone breathing heavily.

A tired man

She opened her eyes but all she came up was darkness.

What had happened?

Had they won?

From the dark she saw a small glow approaching. It grew bigger with every step. It was a figure, tall and lean. He was holding a tall, crystal spear in the colour of honey.

He was Loki

She bolted up and she realized she was no longer chained.

"That was an odd experience." Loki said. His clothes were burnt and there was blood all over them but his wound had long disappeared. The hits were evident on him, even the dried blood on his lips. He was breathing heavily and looked tired but he was alive.

"Are you ok? What happened back there?" Natasha asked him scanning him to make sure everything was ok.

"I restored the balance." He simply said. Natasha looked at him trying to figure out of he really was her Loki.

"Are you even the real Loki?" She asked him narrowing her eyes.

"Who else would know that you taste wonderful with paste on your head?" he teased and she smiled. It had to be him, it felt like it.

"What do you mean you restored the balance?" she asked him.

"I disturbed the balance when I separated my dark side from my good one allowing him to be independent. We did not share a body; it was simply me or him, ultimate good or ultimate evil. I fixed that, I got him back, we are now one again." Loki explained.

"That thing is inside you?" Natasha said disgusted.

"You of all people should understand of dark sides." Loki said. Natasha nodded. She did understand. If she ever met her evil half it would a lot worse than Loki's she was certain; maybe a kind of medusa or something.

Loki held the Hodnir with pride in front of him. They had done it, they had taken it. Now the universe depended on them. He looked at Natasha whose gaze had fallen on the mythical spear. They were thinking of the same thing.

The end was near.

She took her necklace off and handed it to him. He accepted it with a nod. The blue orb glowed at touch.

"Let's save the world." He said and the blue glow swallowed them.

"For a villain you sound very much like a hero."

"I am neither a villain nor a hero woman! How many times do I have to say it?"

* * *

**Owo, that was quick updating, wasn't it? I feel like my mind was suddenly unlocked and I can see all the way through the end. The fact that I can now sit in front of the computer without nauseating is good too.**

**So did you like it? Please review an d let me know what you think.**

**Our heroes are getting out of the cave and to the middle of the war. Which will they help first, Midgard, Asgard or Jotunheim?**


	36. Of Fire and Ice

**Hello! Finally we are out of that blasted cave! Thank you all for reviews and I am waiting for more with this one 'cause I had real fun writing it!**

**I hope you like it as much as I do!**

**Let's just say I own nothing except from my characters just because I haven't put this on for a while.**

**enjoy!**

* * *

Half of a man

Of Fire and Ice

Natasha and Loki appeared in the same place they had been before they entered the cave. The strange icy rock was nowhere to be seen. Over their heads they could see the grey sky of Jotunheim turning red and the temperature had significantly rose.

"Fire Giants!" someone yelled. It sounded like Hemlock. Not but a moment later they could see a burning giant, taller than Hemlock spitting fire and melting the thick ice of Jotunheim's ground.

"This doesn't look good." Natasha said. "We will have some hard time with them." She added.

"No, I will have some hard time with them." Loki said and Natasha frowned. "The attack was supposed to start simultaneously. Midgard is under attack this very moment. They will not last; Thanos was saying that he had a secret weapon." Loki said in a speed he had never used before.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked him turning into the soldier she always had been. Loki smirked and looked around. They were in the right place. Jotunheim could stand for a while but they needed to hurry. Loki presented the Hodnir and touched Natasha's abdomen. A small light came out of it and it started spreading all over her like new, blue nerves. After a minute Loki took the spear away and marveled at her. Her snow white skin was now adorned with dozens of glowing marks like his. She had a certain mystified aura around her, like a powerful enchantress.

"What happened? What did you do to me?" She asked him touching the marks on her hands.

"A child has a certain level of magic from the minute it is conceived. Our child's is great enough to protect you and give you the ability to lead them." He said and showed her the forest. Natasha looked at him and pondered on his words. It was easy to understand what he had in mind. He had told her of this cursed tribe that was bound to rise at the King's call and fight.

Giant warriors fighting off Cintaury in Earth wouldn't be so bad.

"Do you think I can control them?" she asked him crossing her arms in front of her in a powerful stance.

"Off course my dear, you are now the queen of Jotunheim." He said taking her aback. So all these marks, ritual marks were not… because of their child.

They were marital marks.

"Loki, I…"

"What is the matter?" He asked a bit worried. Natasha smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. Loki smiled back and took a deep breath.

"This stays between us, now are you ready to go and save your pathetic friends?" He asked her smirking. Natasha mimicked him and stepped back with her arms crossed. Loki planted the mythical spear on the ground and started speaking in a harsh foreign language; the ancient language of Jotun.

The spear turned blue and blue webs came out of it, crawling on the white snow and climbing over every rock, every plant and every tree. The black marks, the reminders of the Gerrgams' punishment, now glowed for miles and miles up to the red sky that were their leaves. The blue webs swallowed them and their leaves became bright and started moving like a living fire sea over their heads.

Suddenly the ground cracked.

The webs fell deep inside the snow tarring the ice apart; openings to the heart of the planet that went for miles into the sacred forest.

The earth started to tremble; slowly at first and then violently as Natasha could see gigantic trees to rise even higher than they did. Their roots emerged from the earth in which they had been asleep since the beginning of time; their branches moved forming hands and heads. Natasha watched in awe as the plane surface of the tree was moving as if it was liquid letting hundreds of faces appear.

They stood in front of them, all five hundred of them, with small black eyes, pointing ears and noses and a mass of red hair upon their heads; the runes of their bounding spell was still evident on their snow white bodies.

"Who calls for the Gerrgams? Who has awakened the cursed tribe of Jotunheim?" A deep, loud voice demanded as one the giants came forth.

"It is I, King Loki of Jotunheim, son of Laufey, descendant of the mythical King Jotun, that have called you upon your duty." Loki said in a voice of equal volume. Suddenly a shadow seemed to approach them before they realized it was the Gerrgam's head that was lowering.

"Have the Jotuns become so small after all these years?"

Loki smirked and eyes the cursed creature like he was just another peasant.

"I would not judge me by my looks." He said and narrowed his eyes at the leader of the Gerrgams. The white giant widened his eyes as he looked at this young King.

"You are young and small but powerful, son of Odin and son of Laufey. I see that three kingdoms have been united to create a powerful creature such as you. What is your request?" The Gerrgam leader asked him.

"Dear Gerrgams, I have awakened you from your great sleep for you to fulfill your duty. Our world is in danger and we must fight to protect it. The Realm of Midgard, that is part of this empire, is under attack. You are to follow the queen there and follow her orders strictly." Loki said. The Gerrgam leader stood to his full height looking down at them.

"I am Meiton and we are under your orders my queen." He said bowing his head. The rest of the giants followed his example with no hesitation.

Loki turned to Natasha. If she was surprised or intimidated she was hiding it very well. She had an air of superiority around her, already calculating her actions in battle.

A true queen

She looked back at him and smirked.

_You will handle them just fine, my queen._

_Who ever doubted about that? I handle you all the time._

She thought and heard Loki's mental laugh. The young god grabbed the Hodnir and made circles in the air with it creating a portal. Through it they could see that the battle in earth had already begun.

Loki looked at his wife and nodded. They were husband and wife now, forever one no matter what happened. Natasha nodded back smirking. There were no words that had to be said. She passed the portal with as much as a wink before the White Giants followed her.

Loki was left alone on the bold, now, mountain of Jotunheim. He could see the Fire Giants passing through the gate and literary melting the realm down. He lost no time as he grabbed his spear tight and transported where the strongest Jotuns were. They were still near the desert trying to fight the inhabitants of Muspelheim in vain.

They were pathetic really. How did they expect to extinguish their fire without as much as a plan?

And Hemlock was supposed to be his brother? Pff…

_Hemlock, Hemlock you giant piece of ice, listen to me!_

Hemlock was taken aback by the voice that had intruded into his mind and let a fire ball hit his arm. He screamed in pain as his arm turned in a deep blue colour and was filled with nasty blisters. It was ugly but it would take more than that to bring that Frost Giant down.

_Who in the name of Laufey is responsible for this?_ The Jotun prince thought before sending a frost blade towards the intruders. The Fire Giant didn't even have to try and melt it.

_Your King, you fool, you will never beat them this way! _Loki said. Hemlock turned around and caught a sight of the familiar green fabric he had learned to despise. Pathetic little runt!

_Well why don't you come out here and fight for yourself, great king?_

The ex-king said trying to point his eyes at his half brother. The sound of breaking ice made them ran away. Behind them the Fire Giants were roaring and sending fire blasts everywhere, melting whole mountains at their path.

_Think before you act, sometimes it can save lives. _Loki said. _Now, unless you want us to become the universe's melted ice cream, you have to do exactly what I tell you._

Loki said. Hemlock stopped and threw another attack with no hope of success. When they had reached solid ground again, they hid behind ice cubes and fired again.

_I am listening_

_Good, first, you need to leave the desert. The ice is not as thick there as it is on the mountain; it cracks under their heat and melts. Go near the Temple, the Casket should give you an advantage; aim for their hearts. _Loki said.

_What are you going to do? _Hemlock asked suspiciously.

_I am going to close that portal. _Loki answered.

Hemlock nodded as if Loki could see him and looked at his companions; four of Laufey's best generals, all of them tall and strong warriors. This battle, though, was nothing like they had ever seen before. They were no match for the Fire giants.

Fire melts Ice; it's a fundamental rule all over the universe.

They had to bent nature itself to win. He hated to admit it but he hopped that his big brother had an ace up his sleeve.

"Koran! Go to the Temple; tell everyone to leave and gather the strongest of our soldiers." Hemlock yelled at one of his comrades. The older Jotun nodded and left running, avoiding the Fire Giant's deadly shots. The ex- king signaled to the remaining three and they bolted up running towards the Temple of Winter with the demons of fire on their feet.

Loki got out of his hiding place and looked at the portal; more were coming, he could sense them. He extended the Hodnir and took a deep breath letting the spear's power flow within him. He searched inside him and in the spear's spirit to find those magic words that manipulated the fabric of time and space. Slowly some foreign syllables danced around his mouth. He knew what they could do, he knew their power but their meaning was a mystery to him. He started murmuring them without conscience as he looked at the portal. He could feel a strange but sweet energy flowing in and out of him. It was as if energy from every world of every universe that had ever existed was running through him. A familiar sound filled his ears. It was so peaceful and so thrilling at the same time. The notes seemed to follow every beat of his heart but it wasn't his heart anymore. It was the heart of the universe; the same music that had accompanied him in his fall was now giving him power over every dimension.

He narrowed his eyes at the portal. The heat that was coming out of it was melting his icy body but he was more than that now. He was energy, electricity; he was the conductor that was leading the orchestra of the cosmos to his rhythm. He could hear the drums going faster and faster and the horns making a demonic sound.

But then it happened; the paraphony. He could feel a disturbance in the great flow of pure energy. Something was getting in the way, like a new instrument that wasn't supposed to be there. It was something big and dark. Suddenly Loki felt the weakness of his actual body.

No, he could not let him pass; he could not let that happen. He closed his eyes for only a second and the music was gone. The heat was overwhelming. He could feel his insides boiling. That could not be a good thing for a Frost Giant. He tried to catch his breath. He raised his head and looked at the portal. It was getting bigger now.

He could see him, his black eyes and the ever burning flames that were his body. He could feel his power draining him of his own.

He could not let the king of Muspelheim set foot on the ice of Jotunheim. He needed to fight. He could beat him. He didn't have the strength that his dark half had.

But then again he hadn't bitten him.

_No, but I am here in case you forgot it, idiot!_

Loki smirked. Yes, they were now one, all of his power was available; all of his talents.

God of Chaos and Fire

He stood straight again and let the mystic power of the mythical spear revive him. He felt the energy of the cosmos returning to him. He searched for the fire inside him and let it ran through him, joining the great flow. He felt Muspelheim's fire calling him. He could felt it. He could feel every beat, every blow, and every babble that was travelling down the burning rivers of that cursed planet.

He could feel him. He was close.

"You think you can beat me, Jotun, but ice cannot beat fire." The demon's voice filled the melting fields of Jotunheim.

"Who said I have anything to do with ice?" Loki said smirking and extended his spear towards the King. The Fire Giant was pushed back into the portal, shocked. He could feel his energy flattering, like someone was sacking right out of him.

The leader of Muspelheim made another attempt but Loki hit him again making a part of his fire disappear.

"What is this?" The King said shocked.

"Play with fire and you will get burnt." Loki said and fired a powerful beam of fire and ice. The Fire Giant tried to fire back but all of his power disappeared as it left his body.

A thousand roars could be heard as fire and ice combined went threw the portal extinguishing the Giant and all that was in its way.

With one final hit on the drum, the music faded and the portal was closed.

"Magic lesson 1.0.1, never mix fire and ice; it comes with deadly results." Loki said and transported to the Temple.

He appeared a few metres away. There was a battle that much was clear. The heavy snow had melted into big pools of water and there was a distinguishing sound of breaking ice.

_It should be easier for them now. _He thought and jumped upon a naked, blue rock to watch the fight.

There were five Fire Giants against a troop of Jotuns. They were in a formation with Hemlock as their leader. At least that fool had some sense of strategy in his mind. They were fighting from distance, firing ice attacks. From inside the Temple there were soldiers throwing ice daggers aiming for the demons' hearts.

They reminded him of the archers he used to see in midgardian war movies. He disliked them so much. He would say he despised them but a certain deathly voice of a red head woman in his head was warning him not to.

The effects of his personal victory were slowly showing. The Fire Giants became less powerful and slower. The power of the Casket was able to flow freely and heal the planet. The worrying sound of breaking ice disappeared and the pools of water were turned into ice. The ice attacks of the Frost Giants were hurting the enemy as their source of energy was lost. The finals blows came from inside the Temple.

The five Fire Giants fell onto the snow. The troop of the Jotuns approached them with caution. The snow was melting and extinguishing the fire slowly until there was nothing left but five pools of ice.

Suddenly the sound of clapping hands echoed in the mountain. All of them turned their hands to see their current king, sitting upon a rock and clapping.

"You were there the whole time?" Hemlock yelled at him. Loki shook his head bored and jumped off the rock to approach them.

"I just came."

"Why didn't you fight?" one of Laufey's generals asked him. He didn't look happy. Loki walked to the pools of ice and with a touch of his spear five orange trees grew up. The younger Jotuns looked at him surprised.

"I… give my own fights. If I hadn't we would all be de-frost." Loki said smirking but no one laughed at his joke. "You have no sense of humor." He added and turned towards the Temple.

"Go to the palace, gather everyone there, I want to talk to them." He said. Hemlock and his comrades gave each other a confused look but turned around nonetheless.

"My King, what are the trees for?" a young Jotun asked him.

"They are there for us to remember."

"What?"

"That we must not forget." He said and disappeared inside the temple.

He didn't know why but it surprised him that nothing in that place looked familiar. He had absolutely no memory of it. It was natural of course; he was only a baby the last time he had been there and that had happened two thousand and some odd years ago.

But it still bothered him

After all he had been through, after all that blur and uncertainty inside his head he had hoped that something so important to him would still be there.

It was where his whole world changed, after all.

He looked around taking all in. Everything had a blinding white colour, like they were made of light. He could see marks of the ancient language of Jotunheim engraved on them with the finest of blades. The ceiling seemed to be made by heavy clouds that were ready to let the snow fell down.

In the middle the Casket rested

Just like it had in his father's vault.

This time it wasn't calling him though. It seemed to be at peace. He could even hear the soft hum coming from inside the blue cube.

There, on the table of the sacrifices, she had laid him to save him. It had been there Odin had found him, where everything had begun.

"You were astonishing out there, my King." The charming voice of the Water Spirit whispered in his ear.

"What do you want?" Loki asked her abruptly. He knew what they wanted from him and he knew that nothing good could come out of it.

"Straight to the point, I am disappointed King Loki. I thought that you liked games." Ydor said.

"I am an arrogant brat, I only like my own games." He answered.

Ydor laughed and came before him.

"You were exceptional today but you know you cannot defeat the Darkness all alone." She said. Loki chuckled.

"I will not bargain with you for your freedom." Loki said crossing his arms.

"No one is going to bargain; you will ask for us, Loki Laufeyson. We will be waiting." The water spirit said and disappeared inside the Casket again.

Loki sighed and looked at the cube. He had no time for that now. He would store it in his head and deal with it on its time. After all, nothing is useless in this life.

Now he had to meet with his 'people' and he had to convince them to do the unthinkable.

Loki appeared on his throne in front the palace's entrance. Gasps filled his ears before he could the red eyes of the Jotuns; a sea of blue and crimson red was laid before him. Thousands of Frost Giants were staring at him some with fear and others with hope. He could see the young Jotun whispering something to a woman and an old Jotun whispering something pointing at his spear.

Hemlock was standing near him with his comrades; on the other side, stood Bolivar with some of the women of the court.

"My fellow Jotuns!" he exclaimed without realizing. He was still looking at his dwarf friend who was badly beaten. His thoughts flew to Natasha for a moment but he dismissed it. He had to stay focused.

"Our home has been threatened today! The laws of the universe have been crossed! We have been betrayed by those who we put our alliance with!" he said looking at the crowd. He had to keep contact with them and make his voice deep and strong so they would hear him.

"Giants of Muspelheim stepped their feet on the ice of Jotunheim jeopardizing our very existence. What did we do? We fought them like warriors and we sent them back to their Hel!" Loki yelled. As cheers danced around his ears he could tell a small chuckle was heard from somewhere far away; deep far away, in the otherworld.

"Ot'mah! Ot'mah!" The Frost Giants were cheering. Loki looked at them and made sign for silence.

"My name is not Ot'mah." He admitted and all cheers silenced. Loki looked at his younger half brother whose smirk had reached his ears.

"Who are you?" a woman asked from the crowd.

"I am Loki of Asgard, son of Laufey by Odin's descendent princess Nancy." Loki said and a great murmur was spread among the Jotuns. The smirk had been wiped out of Hemlock's face.

"Yes, your former King had betrayed you! Lies of hatred and war were his food for you as your sons and fathers and husbands were staining the soil of another world.

Eyes that you will never see for one man's thirst for power; thirst so vast that his reign of tyranny and the cold red of his soldiers' eyes could not fulfill. Ask your elders if my words sound foreign to your ears. Ask them for the White Queen and the dozens of your children that whose blood changed for ever the colour of the palace's dungeons. Masked with lies and false hopes of conquer he mated with the enemy for an offspring that would hold the world's realm in his infant fist and when fate laughed at his face he spit her back and slaughtered the young and the strong to give me power. Ask yourselves of the sons and daughters the desert never gave you back. So cruel was the Winter that stole the brothers you would never meet? Laughs and words of Eros that raided the eternal wind, for what? A monster's thirst for a monster's power." Loki said. The Jotuns were whispering between them. Some of them were crying, others were arguing silently while eyes wide of realization were forcing the cries and pain of centuries out in the cold air.

"A bird that flew away is the past that will never come back." Loki said in a calm tone. "A beast is always beaten by other beasts. Believe me or not, praise me or spit on my face but listen to these words. Darkness falls across the universe; an ancient power far from the most vivid imagination has awakened to claim our homes and loved ones. The cosmos pleads for salvation. As you regard me with hateful eyes and while your mothers mourn for past misdeeds the branches of Yggdrasil are stepped over, one by one.

Midgard, Asgard, Vanaheim, Muspelheim, Jotunheim

We will be but dust in a wind that will exist no more

We cannot choose war for war has already chosen us. We succeeded a hit on the beast's back but his head rests on Asgard. Darkness eats the land which nurtured me; it seeks for power, like a tyrant does.

Do not think of the Asgardians your tales coloured villains

Do not think of the foreign universe that mocked you and damned you in starvation and poverty.

Think of your children and their fates if darkness swallows the treasures held in Asgard's heart.

Think of your glory days and the stony years this proud people have lived.

Jotuns, Frost Giants, made in the mountains of Jotunheim and steeled in the desert's glaciers.

A proud race of warriors

Once more with the spears, dear Jotuns, once more!

Where mud and tears fall one does not become a man

But when the wind of war blows in our ears

Then imitate the action of a Biglesnipe

Set the teeth and stretch the nostrils wide

Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit

On your full height! On, on you proud Jotuns

Whose blood is fet of fathers war-proof!

Fathers that, so many Alexanders

Have these parts from morn 'til even fought

And sheathed their blades for lack of argument:  
Dishonor not your mothers; now attest  
That those whom you called fathers did beget you.  
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,  
And teach them how to war. And you, good Hemlock  
Whose limbs were made in Jotunheim, show us here  
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear  
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;  
For there is none of you so mean and base,  
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.  
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,  
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:  
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge  
Cry "For Jotunheim and it's children!"

* * *

**What do you think? What do you think?**

**Loki read all those Shakespearean plays and after watching Tom performing Henry V he whined for days for a monologue like that. So I borrowed it for jotunheim's shake and used it with the respect I use in every Shakespearean play and Ancient Greek Tragedy.  
**

**I hope I didn't offend anyone and If I have I ****apologize**

**Soooo, will the Frost Giants fight for Asgard?**


	37. The dead shall rise

**Hey, how are you? sorry for making you wait but I had a really hard time writing this. I hope it is up to your expectations.**

**Don't forget, only three chapters to go!**

* * *

Half of a man

The dead shall rise

"Damn it, Stark can't you be a little bit careful?" Clint yelled through the intercom as he landed on a car and jumped on the ground. The building behind him exploded into pieces.

"Try fighting one of these humongous worms by yourself and then be careful." Tony mocked him. "Oh, watch out." He added as he fired at a Cintaury. Clint nodded at him and ran away towards the tanks to take cover.

They had been ready this time. They had better weapons; good numbers and they knew the enemy.

At least they thought they did.

Hundreds of alien spaceships were covering the desert's sky puking disgusting alien monsters. It was happening all around the world.

"Hawkeye, I need you up in the sky." Fury said. Clint nodded to no one in particular and looked up in the dark sky. The Cintaury were passing over their heads like demonic bats. He ran and jumped on a tank grabbing a passing flying machine. The alien pilot tried to shoot him but the former acrobat flipped his body in the air and landed on the machine knocking the Cintaury off of it.

"Hawkeye, up and high." Clint reported.

"Report"

Clint was not surprised by that order. He had exceptional eyesight and knew how to estimate a situation such as this.

"The new fire power is working if that is what you ask. The Cintaury are manageable but their pets seem to be too many. Our planes cannot take them down fast enough and there is only so much Stark and Rhodes can do." Clint said.

It was a battle field like no other. Trained Agents and Marines were fighting on the ground with little effect. Most of the enemies had magic protection that not all weapons could penetrate. The planes could take down so many before they were blown into dust and the fire power needed to just kill one of those flying monsters was incredible.

"Return to base; phase three." Fury said. Clint flew to where he knew the Helicarrier would be and landed on deck. Tony and Rhodey lost height and returned back to the lines as most of the planes did.

Clint walked inside the metal halls of the Helicarrier heading for the center of Phase three.

"Hey, Hawk-ey!" Millie yelled behind a huge control panel.

"What are you doing, here? I thought daddy had chained you in the underground." The blond archer said walking by her to take his seat.

"You are aware I am the one who built this thing right?" she said looking at her screen. She pushed a few buttons and typed on her key board. There were three people in that chamber, Millie, Clint and Maria Hill.

"Ready to play alien invasion?" Millie said but no one laughed. The young girl shrugged and hit the red button. Big cannons appeared on either side of the Helicarrier aiming at the alien ships that kept feeding the enemy army with soldiers and monsters.

One good shot

The first ship went down. Many soldiers were crushed, both humans and aliens. The explosion caught a few flying Cintaury while others just fell down with no apparent reason.

"They will raise their shields, we need to be quick." Millie said and Clint along with Maria nodded firing at will to take down as many mother ships as they could. One by one the ships of the first line fell like shooting partridges on the ground causing chained explosions.

"Hugster, they're changing formation." Tony said shooting off shrapnel by the alien ships.

"I can see it, Tony, thank you very much." She said and furiously typed on her keyboard. Barton and Hill had ceased fire and were waiting anxiously for a new order to shoot.

The Cintaury had made one big mistake; they had underestimated them and had brought their mother ships on Earth. Luckily, and that was something Clint couldn't believe he was actually thinking, they had two Stark geniuses and the unexpected help of a certain crazy god.

Speaking of which, where was Natasha? Was she, at least, safe in that frozen hell she had been kept to?

"Trial fire" Mildred said. "Full force on cannon one." She added.

That was Clint. He aimed at the far back. They needed to see those alien shields in action. He targeted the gate; it should be the weakest spot.

He fired

The energy beam bounced off the invisible shield and landed near the human troops causing a great explosion with many casualties.

"What the hell, Stark?" Fury screamed through intercom. Multiple angry voices joined him with Steve's standing out.

"What in the name of God was that? Are you trying to sabotage this battle?"

"That was unintended, Captain. Take precautions for the next wave." Mildred replied.

"You should have warned us before fifty soldiers were blown up." Captain America said.

"In case you haven't noticed it Steve, we are at war." Millie said and cut the intercom before she typed a few more codes on her screen. Maria Hill took a minute and looked at the girl. She could never imagine that Millie Stark could be so cold and calculated in a war but then again war was in her blood. It was what her family was doing for generations after all.

"Fly lower." She barked to her earpiece. "We need a better angle. Clint fire with the green levier, aim at the front that's were the shield generator is. Maria, get ready to shoot them down once the shields are gone." Mildred ordered.

The Helicarrier lowered and now Hawkeye could see it clearly through the glass globe he was in. It was a small red box, too small for any human to see but not for him. He aimed with precision and fired without a second thought. In the battlefield the Avengers watched as a green energy ball appeared from nowhere and headed towards the enemy ships. It dematerialized any Cintaury that tried to fly towards it until it reached its target.

The human army took cover but the energy ball seemed to momentarily stop; and then it slowly made its way through the shield, shrinking in the process until it reached that red box and disappeared.

"What happened? Why didn't it work?" Steve asked. A second fire blew the aircraft to pieces. The SHIELD agents and the soldiers let out a cry of joy and engaged in battle with more passion and determition than before.

They could win

"It worked!" Millie said typing furiously for another hit.

"You weren't sure?" Hill yelled but Millie dismissed it and gave permission to Hawkeye to fire again and again and again.

The enemy spaceships were falling like chickens off the sky.

"There are more coming!" Clint said.

"Reinforces, agent Hill?" Millie asked and the agent nodded.

"There are two installed on ground base." She replied.

"Clint, charge with an M-G-17-D-05 combination. I trust you remember that." Millie said and the blond nodded. Stark connected with the base on ground and unlocked the systems of the back up fire.

"Code Green, I repeat Code green, the charge combination is M-G-17-D-05. I repeat, charge combination M-G-17-D…" a big explosion cut the connection.

"What the …" another one broke the glass shield. Millie flew off her seat. Clint managed to catch her on the last minute as he tried to remain inside as well.

"We're being attacked!" Hill yelled, bounded on her seat.

"Yes, I can see all the explosions on our freaking ship!" Millie screamed.

"We need to jump. We need to find the parachutes!" Clint said only to remember there were no parachutes stocked where they were. Another abrupt move made the young Stark scream.

"We've been cut in half! We're falling! We … we…" she paused for a second as they felt the body of the Helicarrier being drawn by gravity towards their doom.

"Disengage! Disengage!" Millie screamed but the wind took away her voice. Was it really the end? After all they had been through, after all the dangerous missions Clint had survived, after all the cases Hill had participated in, were they really going to die falling off the sky?

Barton felt the air getting colder. Was this how one felt when one died? The air was getting colder and thinner burning his nostrils forcing itself through every cell of the human body. His ears were hurting and his head was ready to explode… and then nothing.

There was no pain

It was a death he didn't deserve.

"Are we dead?" he heard Millie Stark asking. He was still holding her hand. It was cold. Dead people were cold so they could have died but he knew for sure that he shouldn't be in the same place as the young girl. He opened his eyes. They were still inside the Helicarrier. Hill was strapped in her seat, unconscious with a serious head injury, probably by a flying console.

Suddenly a red fire filled his vision. Could it be that he had actually died and gone to heaven? For how else could he see his beloved Natasha, standing over him with her known smirk on her face?

"Now you owe me Barton." She said and gave him her hand. Clint got up and took a good look at her. She was really there, with her red hair and her black jumpsuit and her blue marks…

Blue marks?

"Natasha?"

"Mildred! Mildred!" Tony's scream interrupted him as the Ironman burst into the ruined chamber seeking for his daughter.

"I am ok, Tony."

"No you are not."

"Tony, we need to take them to station 21, now." Rhodey said. Stark cursed loudly but gathered Millie in his arms and turned around to look at Barton and Romanoff.

"Hey, Nat, I like your new friends… and your new look. Hawk-ey, you go with Rhodey." He said and took flight. Rhodes had gathered Hill in his arms and got outside.

"What new friends?" Clint asked Natasha. The Russian spy smiled and helped him out of the ruined ship. The air was significantly cooler in the Mexican desert than before. The sand broke under his heels like a thin layer of ice would.

"They're called Gerrgams." Natasha said pointing up. The blond archer froze in his place as he saw the half of a mile tall White giants stepping on Cintaury like they were ants and taking apart those disgusting flying monsters with little effort.

"Where were they?" he asked in shock.

"They come from Loki's birth planet; they've come to help us. They are five hundred of them, spread all around the world." She said. At the mention of the god of Mischief Clint gathered his composure.

"Loki sent us aliens; who says they will not try to take over as soon as they are done with the Cintaury?" the archer said.

"Because they are bound to answer to me, their queen." Natasha said making his jaw drop. He looked at her again. He followed her strange marks all around her body. He had marked her as his own. Loki had made her a queen.

"You do trust me, don't you Clint?" she asked him. He looked into her eyes; those blue eyes he could die for. She was still the same.

"I never stopped, Tasha." He said smiling and ran towards Rhodes to take him to station 21. Natasha nodded at him and ran towards the battlefield. She overpowered the few Cintaury she met with easy until she was picked up by Meiton, the Gerrgam leader who put her, safely, on his head, among the red hair.

"Be careful of the ships in the sky, they might shoot you." Natasha said.

"Then we will take them down." Meiton answered.

"We cannot do that yet." She replied. The Gerrgam nodded and barked a few words in an incoherent language. Instantly all the White Giants took a few steps back with Meiton stepping behind the human troops.

"What are you doing? Why are we so far back?" she asked him.

"We are bound to protect the King of Jotunheim. The queen carries the heir to the throne, so the Gerrgams must protect them." Meiton said. Natasha sighed but didn't argue. There would be no meaning in putting herself in danger when it was not needed.

For now all they needed to do was buy some time. Even with the White Giants they were clearly in a disadvantage. The Cintaury seemed to never stop coming. They needed to do what they had done the last time. They needed to hit the armada. The satellites had spotted the biggest of the enemy's ships outside the Earths atmosphere. They needed to lure it in and then give an end to this once and for all.

She would take pleasure in killing that bastard who had made Loki suffer all those nightmares.

"Romanoff, do you copy?" it seemed like a century since she had last heard Fury in her ear.

"Copy, sir." She responded.

"Need back up on location 21." He said.

"Affirmative" she said and ordered two Gerrgams to step back, away from the earth's army where SHIELD's back up station was.

"Code green." He added and logged off.

Natasha nodded holding her earpiece.

"Meiton, as soon as you see the green energy balls you take those ships down." She said.

"As you wish, your majesty." The white giant said and barked the new command in the ancient language of Jotunheim. The Gerrgams got in line gathering destroyed vehicles, airplanes and whatever they could find on the battlefield as they stepped and crashed the tiny aliens in their way.

The known green fire didn't take long to appear once more. The arm power of the white giants was enough to break the shields requiring less fire power. Things happened faster this time. The Gerrgams were taking the mother ships apart letting the humans plan their next move. A tiny bit piece of blue sky appeared among the aircrafts. There was no time for the Cintaury to fire at the underground station. Their attention was drawn by the giants.

"We have motion" Mildred said.

"Romanoff, the big one is coming." Fury said.

"Plan of action, sir?" she asked him.

"You crash that titan." He said but Natasha knew better. Loki had told her that Thanos had taught a lot of what he actually knew today. He was a powerful sorcerer that was not to be taken lightly. If he wished to attack them by himself neither them nor the Gerrgams would stand a chance. Only a sorcerer could beat him but the only one available was in her stomach.

"Enjoying the view?" Stark appeared from nowhere next to her. Natasha smirked.

"Better than your tower." She replied.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." He said and Rhodes landed next to him.

"Waiting for the big ugly armada?" he asked.

"Rogers hopes your guys can crash him, the Hulk just wants to smash him." Tony said.

The remaining ships disappeared from the sky as a single, huge spaceship made its way to the Mexican desert. The Gerrgams gathered and behind them the humans were ready to fire. The armada landed and the gate opened revealing more Cintaury. They stood right in front of the ship waiting for their master.

He was exactly as Loki had described him. He was a bit taller than Hulk and purple with demonic eyes and disgusting smirk that made her want to kill him slowly and painfully. She was, after all, an expert.

From where she stood it seemed easy to just order Meiton to step on him and be done with it but she knew things were not so easy. The purple Titan stood before his guard and looked at the White giants and the Earth's mighty heroes.

"This is how you think you can defeat me? You brought a cursed tribe of Jotunheim and you think this war will be finished? You pathetic human creatures; You are nothing more than worms of the universe, always fighting and destroying; always killing. Do you really believe that you can be saved with the help of a traitor? Let's see if he can save you from your own monsters." He said and raised his hands up in the sky. In a moment of panic several missiles were shot but nothing happened. The purple titan murmured a few words in his mother tongue over and over again.

The earth started shaking and the ground was cut in half. Green smokes emerged for the planets guts as a shrieking scream caused their ears to bleed. Natasha covered and tried to look through the thick smoke.

Her eyes went wide open and she felt her heart skip several beats. From the depths of the earth she could see people with greased hair and dead pale skin emerging. Their eyes were hallowed and they bore different kinds of weapons and clothing.

The dead had risen

Steven Rogers crossed himself. "It's the Apocalypse." He said.

"Don't worry, Captain, the world will not end on my watch." Tony replied.

Hulk let out a roar and jumped against the new enemy. Bodies that were dismembered stood intact just a minute later. No matter how many they killed they just kept coming back more and more.

"You cannot kill what is already dead." Meiton said standing away from the fight.

"Yes, but the dead can kill the living." She said as dozens of soldiers were killed by the moving corpses.

"They can also kill the dead." Someone said. It was an old man with long white hair and beard and a grey robe.

"Who are you? How did you get up here?" Natasha asked him ready to fight.

The old man smirked "What I am has no bounds any more but I will tell you this and remember it well. The gates of the Underworld have been open for its keeper can no longer guard them." He said and disappeared.

Natasha looked at the ground where villains of all eras were killing once again.

Only the dead can fight the dead.

"Steve, Steve, go near the opening, try to convince any soldiers or ex – marines to engage in battle." She said to her ear piece.

"Romanoff, what are you talking about?" Rogers asked confused.

"Just do as I say, Captain!" she yelled. They needed to make their dead fight for their freedom once again.

"Meiton, do you…"

"FOR ASGARD!" A childish voice filled the air catching their attention. Natasha looked down and blinked in confusion. A troop of what had to be Asgardians, with their heavy armor and swords in their hands were following a boy, not older than fifteen years old that could easily be mistaken for Thor. His hair was short and he had no facial hair but his face resembled that of the thunder god, strongly.

Then it dawned on her. That was Balder, Thor's and Loki's brother.

They were fighting against a group of Jotuns.

The queen of Jotunheim motioned for the White Giant to stand between them. With one step Meiton separated the two groups. The dead rivals looked towards the sky in shock, facing the white face of the giant.

"A Gerrgam" someone said. Meiton brought Natasha near them, never letting her on the ground. The Jotuns upon seeing the marks on her body kneeled. The Asgardians got ready to fight but Balder stopped them.

"Sigyn" he said. Natasha nodded at him and looked at both troops.

"I am Sigyn, wife of Loki, King of Jotunheim and prince of Asgard." She said rising murmurs from the dead.

"Asgard and Jotunheim have been united?" someone exclaimed.

"Past wars have long been set aside." Natasha said mentally clapping at mimicking her husband. "We fight together now against a common enemy that wishes the extinction of the universe. Bad spirits have been raised from the grave to sacrifice the living at the feet of Death. I must ask you to fight one last time, not against each other, but alongside, to keep our world intact." Natasha said. She was always good with worlds. She was the only one who had defeated the Silver tongue after all.

"I had foreseen this." Balder said. "Years before the menace of my own death found me I had dreamt of you, Sigyn, with your fierce red hair and your unlimited strength. I had dreamt of you in a battle that would change the world, along side my brother." The boy said and paused.

"We have nothing to separate in death, it was wrong to believe we had in life as well." Someone said. The Jotuns nodded to their queen and looked at the Asgardians.

"For us" someone said and all of them attacked the opposite army.

"Balder, how did you get out?" Natasha asked the boy who had been left behind.

"Someone just opened the gates" he answered.

Thanos had opened the gates but unless Hela was on his side she would never had allowed it to happen. Hela could not be on the enemy's side, why would she help them bring Loki back and form a plan to save the universe.

No something else was happening.

"Balder, you know how to use magic, don't you? Your brother told me you knew." Natasha said.

"I did, yes, but not as well as my brother." The dead prince admitted.

"I need to get to the underworld." She said. The boy did not question her. He just nodded and extended his hands towards her.

"Meiton, protect the living" she gave one last order. The White Giant nodded.

Balder started murmuring something and the world started fading away from her. The last thing she heard was Balder.

"Tell Loki I forgive him"

She found herself in front of the same gate she had seen the last time only now there was nothing intimidating. The gate had been broken and several fowl souls were dragging their septic bodies out of the river of the dead to climb up to the surface. Surprisingly none of them made a move for Natasha. The former spy looked her hand and realized that her marks were glowing a bright blue colour. Vali was protecting her.

She took a few steps inside and saw that the bridge leading to Hela's throne had been broken. A few stray pieces were flowing on the river. Natasha estimated the distance and jumped on the first rock sending it a few metres closer to the other side. She balanced on it with no problem and searched for the next one. The last one was fairly away from the sore. She took a few deep breaths and focused. She wondered if she should ask of her infant child to mommy a small magical hand. She dismissed that thought and locked eyes with her destination.

Two, three steps and… she jumped. Her feet reached the blue rock but she slipped and fell into the river. Suddenly a cold feeling filled her as she heard the screams of her victims penetrating her mind.

_Welcome to hell, Romanoff, came to join me?_

_You killed me, you bitch!_

_Say hello to the devil from me_

_Mommy, get up_

Suddenly everything stopped. With no effort at all she was risen from the river and fell on the cold rock, panting.

"Vali, next time your mother asks you to do something dangerous, please don't listen to her." She said placing her hand on her stomach. She got up, all dried up and walked towards the throne. Hela sat on her throne, with her back straight and the deadly look of the Queen of Hell, with her hands and neck chained.

"You have changed since the last time I saw you." She said as if nothing was wrong.

"I have no time for this; your little playthings are causing havoc over ground and we have enough problems, ourselves. So, tell me what is going on and how do I save you to come and put them back in their pit." Natasha said crossing her arms in front of them.

Hela sighed in discomfort and pinned her eyes on Natasha.

"So he made you queen and you are now carrying the heir to the throne… my brother." She said.

"You are free to visit us whenever you like as long as we survive this. So, explanations?" the ex spy said.

"It had been planned. These chains are made by Uru metal, the same metal Mjolnir is made of. Someone had them with him when he died; a powerful spell has me chained and unable to help you. You cannot unleash me." Hela said.

Natasha cocked an eyebrow and walked around the throne. Right behind it there was a huge, shine sword.

"What about this thing here? It looks pretty powerful" Natasha said. Hela scoffed.

"The Sword of Justice? Only an honorable, pure hearted can lift it…"

A deafening sound echoed in the underworld and the chains fell on the ground.

"You and your father talk too much" Natasha said letting the sword back to its place.

The Jotun queen looked at her shocked not able to believe her eyes.

"How did you do it? I have seen the things you have done, the sins, your crimes. Your heart is far from pure." Hela said.

"Yeah, well, I didn't free you to just stand here and lecture me. You have a job to do." She said and grabbed Hela's shoulder.

Hela's eyes went wide open but she swallowed her pride and nodded. The balance of the world was more important than her pride.

"Just like old times, Steve?" a man said.

"Let's save this country once again, Baggy." Steve said grinning and they charged against some Nazis. Near them the Greeks and Persians were fighting against some dwarfs while cowboys and serifs were hunting down criminals.

It was like a battle scene from a parody.

"Stop!" an ominous voice was heard that made the blood of the living freeze.

"No!" another voice was heard from inside the ship. Thanos got out and put together a spell but Hela dismissed it with a move of her hand.

She raised her hands and yelled in a strange language.

"Oh tymvos, oh nymfeion, oh kataskafis

Oikiseis aeifrouros, oi porevomai pros tous emaftis

On arithmon en nekrois

Pleiston dedeiktai Fersefass

Ololoton"

The green fog was swallowed by the earth as the dead were called back to where they belonged.

"It was nice seeing you Steve!" Baggy yelled at his friend as he was pulled back.

"Me too, Baggy!" Steve yelled as the battle field was clearing.

Suddenly the desert felt empty. The few Cintaury and humans remained in their places waiting for the new orders.

"My queen…" Thanos murmured but Hela silenced him.

"It is over" she replied and lifted her hand to perform another spell.

"Nothing is over!" Thanos yelled and he disappeared leaving the Cintaury alone. Five Gerrgams was all it took. Earth was safe, for now.

"Queen Sigyn, you freed me and I owe you a favor." Hela said.

"Queen Sigyn?!" Tony said surprised. Natasha turned around and saw that all of the Avengers were gathered near her. Natasha ignored them and looked at Hela.

"We need to get back in Jotunheim." Natasha said.

"We are coming too." Hawkeye added.

"No, you should stay here and protect the Earth." Natasha said.

"No, Clint is right. We need to strike the evil at its root; be done with it once and for all." Steve argued.

Natasha looked at them and nodded.

"Take us all to Jotunheim" she said.

* * *

**The spell Hela says to bring the Dead back to the Underworld, is actually a monologue of Antigone from the Greek Tradgedy of Sofolkis, "Antigone".**

**Just because I messed with Shakespeare last time I thought maybe I should play with some of our plays too. I wrote it in Ancient Greek with Latin letters so you could read it. Here's the translation :**

** "Oh tomb, my bridal bed, **

**my home deep within the earth and my eternal cage,**

** I am coming to find my own dead ones**

** that great a number, Persephone has fed." **


	38. Facing one's nightmares

**I know, I know, it took me long enough to update. I must admit it gets harder and harder to write this as the end approaches. God, there is so much tension and I really don't want to fail you so I re-write it like three times until I believe it is ready to be posted. I hope you can forgive me.**

**So, here we are in Asgard, finally. Only two chapters 'till the end. **

**I hope you like it and remember, reviews are my fuels! **

* * *

Half of a man

Facing one's nightmares

A great light came out of the observatory as the Gatekeeper pushed his sword inside the slot. The eyes of the queen and the few Asgardians that had found shelter at the end of the rainbow bridge were glued to the gate.

Who was to emerge?

"Heimdal, who calls?" Frigga had asked the dark man but he hadn't answered. She knew something good would come through the Bifrost.

The strong light faded away as the temperature of the room suddenly fell a few degrees. The Asgardians raised their guards seeing their blue skinned enemies flooding the room.

"Frost Giants!" someone yelled.

"Out! Out on the Bifrost, we are too many!" a long desired voice filled the Queen's ears.

"Loki?" she said. As the Frost Giants moved obediently out of the observatory, Frigga saw the smaller figure of her son moving through them to reach her. He seemed different. He was in his original form. The fair queen felt her eyes filling with tears. He looked so handsome in this blue hue; the mystifying marks on his skin suited his magical nature. Only his eyes… she longed to see those kind green eyes that looked at her with so much love and admiration.

"Mother? Are you hurt? Are you alright?" he asked her kneeling in front of her seat.

"My boy, how could I hide your true nature from you?" she said caressing his cheek. It was cold, colder than it had ever been.

"Do not talk like that, mother. You know I am more of an Asgardian than a Jotun. It matters not where I was born." He said touching her hand as he let his pale skin surface. Frigga looked at his sea green eyes and hugged him tight.

"Mother, we have a war to win. The Jotuns are here to help. You must tell me what is going on. Where is Thor and father?" he asked her distancing himself from the woman who had raised him. The other Asgardians looked at him in fear but they did not dare to say a word at the presence of the Queen.

"Asgard has sent warriors to Vanaheim to protect the ancient magic from the dwarfs and the dark Elves. Malekith has already attacked us. His troops are on the field. He carries dark creatures with him and Fire Demons." Heimdal answered. Loki nodded and looked at his army outside the observatory. Eight years ago he had brought the Frost Giants to Asgard to throw his brother out of favor and take hold of the throne. Now he had brought them there to protect them.

He had done it; he had united them against a common enemy.

"I must speak to Thor or father before we join in. Where are they?" the young prince asked the Gatekeeper.

"Your brother leads the eastern troop while the All-father leads the north one." Heimdal answered. Loki nodded and walked towards the exit. He stopped for a moment and turned around towards the dark man.

"Keep an eye on Earth" he told him.

"Help may come faster than you think, my prince." Heimdal answered. Loki looked at him confused but then exited the Observatory changing his form to blend in with the rest of the Jotuns. Maybe Natasha had succeeded a little faster than he had thought. It would be good to fight side by side.

But then… the baby…

He glanced at his mother. She was smiling at him softly. She already knew. She had always known what would happen. How cruel could that be? To know of one's misfortune of one's tragedies and not be able to stop them?

It was a good thing he didn't have the gift of the insight.

"If… when she asks you to bring her here… don't let her." The young prince said and led his troop of Frost Giants away and into battle.

Heimdal looked at the blue wave fading in the distance and then he glanced at the queen. He already knew he could not obey him.

It had been only seven years since he had last run through those streets, those paths, those hills. Seven years were nothing to him, like seconds within a day, but he still felt a weird feeling. He was home again. The fighting screams and the clasp of the swords were sounds he had connected with the Realm of Light. The sound of war sounded better through this familiar air.

They were now near the east troop. He would prefer to find his father first but he was too far away at the moment and he couldn't delay anymore. There was a slaughter happening in the battlefield. Heimdal had been less than descriptive with his words. Many men lay on the ground painting it red with their blood. Some he recognized as Asgardians and others form the realm of Vanaheim. The All- Father had called for the help of some more experienced warlords, it seemed.

It seemed like a fair battle but he knew that the Dark Elves had some cards up on their sleeve. He could sense the energy of the Fire Demons near by, maybe on the north. He had to keep the Jotuns away from that.

"Stay here, Hemlock will lead you at my signal." Loki said. The first in command nodded and moved his hand to stop the one thousand Jotuns that were following them. Loki watched as the ground turned to ice under the feet of the giant warriors. He needed to be quick or they would find out about them.

He walked down the hill and quickly transformed into another Asgardian soldier. The silver armor felt heavy on him. He never really liked the thing. It made him slow and vulnerable. There was nothing that could protect him better than his magic. However it was essential to approach his brother. He had spotted him in the middle of the crowd showing off with his big toy of a hammer. How typical of him!

Loki cut his way to his brother attacking some of the lower class elves with his sword. Off course he never liked the thing but that didn't mean he didn't know how to use it.

"Soldier, watch out!" Someone yelled. Loki turned around to see Sif throwing a knife towards him. Surprised he saw an elf falling down on the ground. He nodded and sprinted towards Thor. He should be more careful.

Finally he reached that big buffoon that insisted on calling him brother. His new found self was well hidden behind the mighty Mjolnir as he spread death among his enemies. Loki could not wait and could not fool around pretending to be someone he was not. With a smooth move, the Hodnir appeared on his hands and with a swing he threw back about five hundred enemies. Thor turned around bewildered by what had happened. He froze as he saw his younger brother on his side with his ridiculous helmet on grinning maniacally. Just like the old days.

_No, not the old days, the new better days that are yet to come. _

"If only I had the time to ask you a million things but I do rely on you to have some kind of plan." Thor said getting ready to strike as the enemy reassembled. Loki grinned letting his tongue show between his teeth and glanced at his Thor. At that moment he realized that they were actually related. The blond buffoon was something like his great- great- great- great more greats than he cared to count – uncle.

The old fool! Hehehe

"Only a thousand degrees below zero of a plan." Loki said. Thor looked at him shocked. He had actually felt the air getting colder but he had dismissed it.

"You brought Frost Giants to defend Asgard?" he asked him.

"Is there a matter with that?" Loki asked him letting the anger and sadness show in his voice. He thought Thor had really surpassed his issues with his true heritage.

"No, if anyone could make them do it that would be your silver tongue." Thor said spinning Mjolnir to block an attack from a stronger troop that had come towards them. Loki blocked the magical attacks with no real effort.

"There's no real time for chit chat, I am afraid, Thor. I need to know where the Fire Demons are, where the second and third class Elves are set but most importantly, where is Malekith?" Loki asked.

"The Fire Demons are on the west, so you do not want to send your Frost Giants there. The second and third class cover the north east and try to get to the south. Malekith has not yet appeared but father is afraid he is going for the vault." Thor said amongst fighting.

"Try not to get frosted." Loki said and disappeared into the blue light. Thor was left bewildered. He hated that particular ability of Loki. He had always had but as he saw the blue troops appearing from behind the hills he forgot everything about their sibling problems and yelled at the others not to waste any power against the Jotuns.

First things first, Loki needed to make sure Malekith would not take anything from the vault. He didn't need to think of a plan to enter the room as the guards let him in immediately. It seemed that his father had given them an order to let him pass. The moment he entered the room his eyes fell on the empty place where the Casket of Ancient Winters once stood. His mind traveled back to that night that his father had revealed the truth. He didn't know if he could ever get rid of that emptiness that had stayed with him all this time but at least now he knew. He understood because for a few moments he had been a father too. As he descended the stairs he envisioned his father lying there, unmoved. He had asked for his mercy, for his help maybe even his forgiveness in that moment of weakness but Loki had tortured him with heavy words and the bitterness he had carried for years.

He would never forget how he felt when he thought he had killed him.

He let all those memories aside as he took a deep breath. He needed to focus on the present now. It was easy to sense the powerful spells Odin had put on his precious treasures. He could tell they were the real ones. Maybe the King had been waiting for him, that was why he had been granted passage to the room. Well he wouldn't waste any more time. With a few strange words and a few moves he sent the gems to the only place they would be safe for ever.

The Jotun's cave.

In a quick afterthought he made exact copies of them and trapped them with even more powerful spells trying to imitate his father. Trying to copy one's magical signature was difficult, especially the one of the Father of All Gods but the Mischievous God had perfected the art since his adolescence. One did not just sneak around the palace when grounded by just being smart.

Satisfied with his work he walked out and back into the battlefield. He had some Fire Demons to take care of and then… then he could take care of Malekith.

He stood on a hill where he had a good view of the battle. Maybe most people didn't know but Loki was more than just a super diplomat and a master of magic. He was also a great strategist. While his brother would be praised for his abilities in a fight, Loki had made it his goal to excel in strategy. It was something that intrigued him, that challenged him and from time to time he would get a praise from his father for it. Until he became an adolescent that was, then he was expected to do as Thor.

But let's not open past wounds. There was no meaning in it. He may never fully forgive Odin but he understood the man now. He focused on the battle and took mental notes. The lower class soldiers of the elves were fighting off with the Asgardian army on the west gate. Two Fire Demons were there but they did nothing.

A distraction if anything else.

As he had predicted they wanted to enter the city, cause some chaos and find the tunnels that the women and children were hiding. The Asgardians were holding, though.

On the east his brother and the warriors three were trying to fight off some second class elves. Nothing difficult there for Thor and his soldiers but as he could see there were some first class Elves gathering now. He could feel that their power surpassed that of his brother's and they had magic. He watched as their attack was blocked by an ice wall and then the Frost Giants charged them with their own magic. It was a difficult fight but that would have to do for now. He needed to focus on the front Line. The most powerful of the dark Elves were there. He could sense his father and the best warlords of Asgard fighting them off. They were holding on but a gate up in the Asgardian sky was providing the enemy with more forces.

Malekith was nowhere to be seen. He needed to lure him. He needed to show him his power; that would be good bait. He had to finish this before it got out of hand.

He had a plan but he didn't like it a lot.

With a sigh he raised the Hodnir in his hand and with a smooth move he frosted all the low level elves. The Asgardians stopped bewildered. The heat from the Fire demons started melting them right away. The troop got out of its stupor and started breaking the ice sculptors of their enemies. Loki took a breath and found the fire within him. It was easy now; he knew exactly what he needed to do. He felt the heat of the volcanoes of Muspelheim boiling his blood. He bended it to his will and when he opened his eyes he could see the Fire demons exploding in the battlefield illuminating the night sky like new found suns.

Many were killed

Many noticed him. He heard the brief cheers of some troops while the screams of the dead had not yet ceased in his ears. He could feel the look of his father, Odin, nailed on him.

_You made it_

He heard his voice inside his head.

_Did you doubt me? Why I am not surprised?_

Loki replied and he could swear he felt the old man smirking. With a simple blink he found himself next to the man. As always, Odin was on Sleipnir slicing down the Elves with the Gagnir. He looked a little bit tired and Loki wondered just how often the Odin sleep claimed his father this days. With a flick of his wrist he pushed back the first class elf that attacked the All – Father.

"Care to see what I really am made of?" Loki said.

"I took you for a more grounded man." Odin answered.

"Lies do no good in battle, father, besides we have a work to do." Loki replied smirking. He brought his new spear behind his back and then in front again creating a ring. His movements became faster and faster until his hands and spear was one creating a green energy ring around him. The ring became bigger and bigger swallowing him into an energy ball.

_Take cover_

Nothing happened. There was no spectacular explosion or light. Just like it had started the glow was gone and Loki brought the spear in front of him standing no different than before with a smirk on his face. Odin was glancing at him trying to fight off some of his enemies. He spotted on the elves raising his hand, finger pointing at Loki.

"Loki, watch out!" he said incarnating one of the opposite soldiers. But the infuriating child just stood there doing nothing but smirk. What wicked plan did he have in mind?

"Loki!" he yelled out of instinct. No matter what his son was thinking he couldn't see him falling to his death once again, willingly. He had lost him too many times already.

"Lo…"

But the energy beam was gone and was heading straight for the young prince's heart. The god of mischief grinned like the Cheshire cat with his hand tight on the Hodnir.

The beam never reached its goal. Everything seemed to stop for the old king as the purple line of energy disappeared just a few inches from his younger son's chest plate. For a few moments everything silenced.

Silence

And then cries; cries and explosions. The old King turned around to see the elves falling on their knees holding their heads before they incarnated in a green dust. Most of the battle field was cleared within minutes. Loki looked at Odin and smirked.

"I told you to take cover" he said.

The shock of the powerful attack lasted only for a few seconds before new soldiers emerged from the gate. But the effect on them was obvious. Their troops were fighting with more might and confidence while the elves looked uncertain, maybe even frightened.

Loki felt a satisfaction he hadn't felt in a long time; the satisfaction of seeing the fear in his enemy's eyes, the knowledge that he was the most powerful being among them and could crush them with a swing of his wrist.

He was not a good guy but he was not totally evil either. He just didn't deny his nature like many heroes did. He was not a hero. Maybe he was that kind of villain who stayed in the shadows until they decided to mess up with both sides for the fun of it and then restore balance to avoid any trouble.

_You're a spoiled little brat that's what you are, _Natasha would tell him.

Loki smiled at the memory of her ever serious face and focused on the battle field again. He was certain that Malekith had seen his little show; maybe a few more and he would decide to appear.

What a surprise would it be when he realizes he can't get anything from Odin's vault! Yeah, that should do the trick.

Loki did another spell causing all the dark magic to backfire at the elves the moment it was conjured. Then another, and another.

"Loki, you are wasting your energy!" Odin yield at him. Loki looked at the golden King. He had gotten off Sleipnir and was fighting with his spear and sword. A few burns on his shining armor were the evidence of the tough fight they were giving.

"Let the beast smell the blood" Loki answered stabbing his gold, icy spear in one of Malekith's generals.

"Don't take him for a fool, Loki!" Odin said slaying three soldiers but more and more came.

"I know what I'm doing!" Loki yelled angry. He looked at the old king with a fire in his eyes telling the story of disappointment and distrust he had lived through all of his life.

In a moment those eyes, red by birth, went wide open in surprise. A dark energy, way more powerful than that of any enemy in the battlefield had arrived. Loki turned his head to see the familiar purple titan appearing among Malekith's generals.

That beast! What was he doing there?

A sudden thought occurred to him. Had Midgard lost the battle?

No, no, he wouldn't be there if they had. He would have stayed on Midgard to cherish his victory and terrorize his new realm.

He had lost; he looked hunted like something really terrible had happened. Surely he hadn't expected to lose from those weak mortals a second time. What weapon had they produced to defeat him this time? The white giants had been a huge help but he knew they were not enough to defeat him.

And yet here they were

His moment of vengeance

He walked towards him ignoring any attack coming his way. Thanos was his and his alone. The purple titan realizes his presence and changes his demeanor almost immediately. He goes to his full height staring down at him with that air of superiority he had always had.

"King Ot'mah" he says simply. Loki shows no emotion and just keeps on walking. He had forgotten; the last time he had met him he had been King Ot'mah of Jotunheim. Even though his skin is blue and scattered with even more marks the Titan changes his expression as realization comes to him. He was dressed into his Asgardian armor of green and gold; both of his natures together.

"Prince Loki" the titan says smirking. Loki stops right in front of him. His former master towers over him nearly as much as his Jotun half brother. For a moment the young prince thinks if he should use his new form of the Jotun King but quickly decides against it. It would consume too much energy and it wouldn't be useful.

"Thanos, I think we have something to settle." Loki answered him.

"Off course we have, if I remember correctly you had a job to do and you failed. Then you ran away to your daddy like a good puppy and came back to me to trick me a second time. Quite impressive for a weakling such as you." The titan said.

"I do have my secret talents" the trickster said.

"Being a traitor is one of them"

"That is not a secret, Thanos, ask anyone on this battlefield." Loki said extending his hand. The purple titan noticed the spear on his hand and for the first time he seemed surprised.

"You pathetic fool, how did you get your hands on the mythical spear, Hodnir of Jotun?"

"Oh, this thing?" the god of mischief said playing with the golden spear. "I must admit it was not an easy task but, you see, it is my birth right. It serves me well and will send you to your eternal prison." Loki said with a fake, kind smile on his face. Thanos scoffed and glanced somewhere at the battlefield.

"Would you kill the man who gave you the chance to meet your wife?" Thanos said causing Loki to narrow his eyes. "She is truly lovely with blood red curls and lips promising nothing but death."

Loki wanted to scream. He wanted to jump and stab the monster with his spear until there was nothing left but a bloody mess of what used to be flesh. He couldn't do that though. No, he had a chance. He could make him suffer and defeat him making Malekith appear at last.

"She gave you quite a hard time, I presume. How did she do it? Did she just beat you with the back of her heel or a snap of her mortal pinky?" Loki mocked him praying to the Norns and Valkeries that Natasha would not appear.

"You could ask her but I doubt you would get there in time." Thanos said. Loki's eyes went wide open. He turned his head towards the Bifrost seeing a distinct glow.

No, Heimdal could not betray him again. He should keep her away!

Thanos disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Loki!" Odin yelled at him but he was already gone.

A purple and a green flash was what she saw the moment she stepped inside the observatory. She was a bit dizzy but her body was starting to adjust to these intergalactic instant trips. The baby inside her must have helped a lot. The others were not so well. Two instant trips in a few minutes were not easy.

She looked around and saw both Heimdal and Queen Frigga looking at her. She wanted nothing more than to get out there and find Loki. Then she remembered the flash. She ran to the exit but Heimdal blocked her way.

"You must not put your self in early danger." He said but Natasha didn't hear him. She tried to get him out of her way but it was impossible to move him or hurt him but she would not give up.

Just outside the observatory Loki was fighting Thanos.

Two Frost Giants were trying to help him but quickly ended up dead on the rainbow bridge.

"You've gotten fast, Laufeyson." Thanos said. Loki was standing with his back to the observatory ready to defend it. They reminded Natasha of David and Goliath and she prayed that this battle would have the same outcome.

"You have no idea what I am capable of doing. I am warning you now, Titan, go back to the battle field and I promise you that your death will be quick." Loki said in his ominous voice. Thanos chuckled at first and started laughing. No one ever saw the magic ball leaving his hand but Loki was indeed faster and hit it with his spear like it was a baseball.

"As you wish" Loki says with a smirk and moves his fingers producing five small fires. Thanos smirks as he avoids them and charges forward with all his might. Loki disappears but the Titan knows him too well to fell for that trick. He turns around bringing a burning hand down only to be met with an ice statue of the prince. The statue breaks into a thousand pieces falling to oblivion as Thanos, for the first time stands there confused.

A small sting on his back makes him turn around but he can't. All he can do is turn his head enough to see the God of Mischief looking at him with his hands crossed and a smug on his face.

Why can't he move? He can't feel anything, just a deathly cold creeping up from his hand.

"You need to move quickly, get to the palace." Loki says never getting his eyes off the frozen Titan but Natasha knows he is talking to her.

"Why don't you finish him now?" she asks as Heimdal lets her pass. She approaches him and he turns his head slightly towards her. She looks gorgeous as always and his spell has kept her safe.

"This is not how the plan goes. I understand you have brought your friends. Take Stark and head to the palace. In my room there is a huge family portrait hiding a secret passage. It leads to my parents' chambers but if you take the left turn you will find yourselves in a safe room." He said.

"You cannot expect me to hide from this battle" Natasha argued. Loki never turned to look at her fully.

"He will find a way to free himself eventually Natasha and I cannot worry about you in this battle. Take Stark and leave now" he said as calm as he could. He could feel her eyes burning him and he knew she wouldn't obey him even if she did leave in Stark's arms. The man in question appeared at that moment followed by the rest of the Avengers.

What a happy reunion!

Loki sees his chance and turns around to face the group. He knows how protective they can be of their female member and he is going to use it to his favor.

"Stark, take her to the palace now; we cannot risk the life of the child." Loki says inwardly grinning amused by their faces. Oh, how she wanted to kill him right there and then.

"What child?" Hawkeye is the first to ask looking at his partner and once lover, betrayed. He knew she had fallen in love with that maniac but a child, a child she had hidden from him was too much.

"Are you pregnant, agent Romanoff?" the Captain asks. Natasha is looking at them with a blank expression thinking how she could get herself out of this trouble and kill Loki without jeopardizing the existence of the universe.

Stark is the first to react walking towards her. Natasha tries to avoid him but he is untouchable inside that tin can of a suite.

And Thanos started moving.

"Time to go sweetheart." Tony says before snatching her and boosting up into the air.

"You better leave too; there is still a battle down there." Loki said to the rest of the Avengers.

"And leave you all by yourself with this thing?" Steve says. The Hulk leaves a roar in agreement.

"I have a better option of defeating him alone than with your help. He can make you a flying cap until the end of time." The Asgardian answers. The three men look at each other and decide to go find Thor in the battlefield. As they ran down the Bifrost, Clint stopped next to Loki and looked at him with eyes narrowed with anger.

"You'd better not die before this child is born" he said and left to catch up with the rest of them.

Just in time to miss the awakening of the Titan.

"Most impressive but I have grown tired of your tricks." He said and produced his own magic staff. Without a second thought the purple warlock brought his wand down with force slicing Loki's skin. The young prince stepped back trying to catch his breath but suddenly he couldn't breathe. He felt a chain around his throat tightening. He tried to think of a way to break the spell but his head was pounding and he could hear the purple monster roaring with laughter.

In a last attempt to free him he hit the bridge with the Hodnir and let a powerful beam of energy hit Thanos. A deep breath filled his lungs with air and he got up quickly charging him with another attack. The titan blocked this one but Loki was fast enough to approach him and hit him hard on the stomach with his spear. The titan swung his hand only brushing Loki's face but hard enough to bring him down on the bridge.

Loki looked down. He was once again at the edge of the Bifrost. One wrong move and he would be falling again in the emptiness of the universe.

Would he be so lucky as to survive a second time?

He felt Thanos moving again and got out of his thoughts. He needed to get off the bridge and fast.

"You are a powerful magician Thanos but you lack the art of war." Loki said.

"Says the troublesome scholar." The Titan said sending a beast of energy against him. Loki dismissed it easily and moved his own spear.

"You got in a lot of trouble to take this troublesome scholar with your side, twice. Now, which fool makes the same mistake twice?" Loki said smiling unleashing his dragon. The imaginary creature flew over their heads and breathed fire against the purple Titan while Loki turned around and jumped away; as far away from that bridge as possible.

He knew Thanos would follow him, even try to find Natasha again but he also knew he wouldn't resist crashing his little trick with the dragon.

A deep roar of pain filled his ears and he knew that the stupid titan had fallen into his trap. The green dragon had disappeared from the sky and he could feel Thanos approaching. He needed to end it now. He could feel his energy running low.

"Loki!" he heard and his blood froze even more if possible. What was she doing there? Hadn't Stark taken her to the palace? But off course he shouldn't have expected anything less from his dear spy. She had most probably tricked Stark into landing to help an innocent or something and she had run away.

"Leave, Natasha, leave now!" he yelled at her. She gave him an arrogant look and stood by his side crossing her hands.

"I've gone to hell and back for you; I'm not going to leave you alone in the end." She said.

"This isn't the end, Natasha; this is just the beginning." He says in a cold voice hitting the ground with his spear creating an ice net that traveled towards the running titan in an incredible speed. Suddenly Natasha was reminded of when he had woken up in the Stark tower and had gone mad by all that magic that had suddenly rushed back to him.

He must be truly beyond powerful.

"Take cover please." He said and sent another attack to nowhere. Natasha nodded and took cover behind a hill. She didn't want to miss the humiliation of the monster that had been responsible for the nightmare that had begun seven years ago in New York but she knew when the situation was out of her depth.

"Laufeyson!" A roar was heard and Loki flew back crashing on the ground. Ok, maybe things had gotten slightly out of plan. Natasha saw the purple titan landing heavily on his feet just a few feet away from her, now, husband. His right hand was black, hanging useless on his side and there were marks on his feet, probably from the ice net Loki had sent after him. In his anger Thanos started firing numerous fireballs creating a fire circle around him. Loki got up looking a bit tired. Surly the fire could not be good for him but then again he was the God of Fire, wasn't he? He had gone through this before.

"Enough is enough, Frost Giant! Your pathetic curse cost me only one arm. Do you really believe you can beat me with low attacks such as that? You are going to melt like a snowman in the sun your Midgardians so love and then just before you die you are going to see your woman dead in a pool of blood by your hands." Thanos said and Loki felt him attacking his mind. The fire did have an affect on him but not as much as the fool thought. The fire obeyed him, he was its master.

"You have guarded your weak mind, haven't you? You are still a sentimental fool though." Thanos said and Loki widened his eyes as Natasha appeared on the Titan's good hand. The young god got up and tried to realize if that was indeed his wife. He thought of using his new found mind skills but that would make him weak to Thanos's attack who tried desperately to penetrate his walls.

He didn't have to though; the marks of their child were glowing bright trying to protect her from whatever pressure Thanos was putting on her. She was trying to escape but her face never betrayed a thing. Loki smiled for a second and then looked at the fire ring around them. He could feel Natasha's aura decreasing. This hot environment was not good for the child. He was weak against the fire and he could feel his energy lowering. Soon enough Natasha and his child would be unprotected.

"You really think you can have me harm her? I must tell you then that she has beaten me unconscious more times that I can count and that…" he said but a fire blast cut him mid air. Loki and Natasha looked towards the sky and saw one familiar Ironman flying over their heads charging for another blast. This time multiple blasts and small rockets hit Thanos's face. Loki looked at the picture dumbfounded but he was glad to see Natasha slip from the titan's hand. Quickly he extended his hand and moved her to the man of Iron barking at them to leave.

"Leave and this time for good! You will have no other chance to attack him." he said and saw the two Avengers disappearing in the night sky.

The God of Mischief and Chaos lost no time. He narrowed the fire ring closer to the titan as his ex- master recovered by the Stark's attack.

"You fool; what are you doing?" he laughed at him but Loki didn't answer. He would talk when the time was right. Thanos tried to manipulate the fire once again but he found it impossible. He tried time and time again getting frustrated as he saw Loki spinning the Hodnir in circles in front of him. He tried to attack but the fire was like a wall closing in to him. What the hell was happening?

He saw his ex – minion smirking as he brought the mythical Jotun spear in front of him. One smooth move was enough to unleash the golden stripes from Loki's staff. Thanos watched unable to do anything as they rose up in the sky and got back down in the form of a giant serpent.

"It terrorized me for seven years; it is only fair to terrorize you for the rest of your years." Loki said forcing the giant serpent towards the purple Titan. Thanos wrestled with his fire bonds as he watched the golden curse getting closer and closer. The serpent opened his huge mouth and with one move it swallowed him.

The powerful titan felt his magic being locked inside his body. It was burning him trying to find a way out. He felt his insides tight and the caged energy literary attacking his body to get out. His skin was torn apart in painful scars as his magic found a slot to be released but it never got out. It lingered there, on the wound, getting back inside and trying again making him mad with pain.

Through his clouded eyes, Thanos saw the Prince of Asgard in all his glory approaching. With a move of his hand the flames subsided and disappeared leaving no barrier between them. The titan fell on his knees and hands gasping for air trying to be freed. The more he tried the worse it got.

"How does it feel to be trapped inside your own body? It is a marvelous experience, is it not?" the prince whispered at him. "I gave you one chance, Thanos; you should have taken advantage of that single moment of weakness." Loki said and chuckled at the groans of pain the titan was making.

"Please do try some more, I love to watch you suffer." He said smirking. The titan tried to raise his hand but his flesh split up like an old rag and he fell down in pain.

"You should never have underestimated me. Do you think that I am just going to let you die by my curse or kill you in flash of anger? No, Thanos, I will tell you a secret." Loki said and approached the titan's ear.

"Can you hear it? The drums? Bahm, bahm, barababahm, bahm, bahm" Loki whispered. The rhythm suddenly reached the warlock's heart making it beat faster and faster.

"That is the void calling you, Thanos. You are going to spend the eternity lost where time and space doesn't exist tortured by your own magic." The god of chaos added. Loki looked at the titan's eyes. They were clouded and he was certainly trying to break free.

Loki smirked

"You should have never messed with an arrogant and cruel brat like me." He said and took a step back swinging his spear to cut the fabric of time and space.

One kick was all it took to sent his nightmare in the darkness of none existence for ever. It had happened silently without as much as a little whimper.

"Loki!" he heard Natasha's voice and this time he was happy. He saw Tony landing and letting her off his hands as soon as they had touched the ground. He felt so tired. The red head spy knelt in front of him looking at him worried.

When had he knelt down?

"Loki, are you alright?" she asked him. He felt so tired, so tired. He felt drained of all his energy. Was that how Odin felt before he fell into the Odin sleep? Well it would be good if he just had the time to fell into a type of Loki sleep right now.

"I think I lost too much energy." He answered sincerely. There was no reason to lie to her. He assumed he looked like a ghost at that moment.

"Dude, this is really not a good time." Tony said. Both Natasha and Loki looked at him and then up into the sky over the battlefield.

He had done it. As he saw the dark armada of the Elves' army he knew the end was coming.

Malekith was there but he was totally weak.


	39. Balance

**So here we are. It has been a long way to Ithaca but the journey was all worth it. Thank you for sticking with me all the way here and I hope you had a good time. **

**The last two chapters of Half of a man**

* * *

Half of a man

Balance

"Natasha I need… I need..." Loki murmured trying hard to catch his breath. The red head was helping him stand up.

"Under different circumstances I may sympathize with you, Loki, but given the situation you need to spilt it out and fast." She said helping him straighten his back. It was obvious that he had lost too much energy. Loki smiled and touched his chest trying to regain some of his power. It was impossible to regain his power in a few moments, he knew that. He had fought too much for longer than they had thought.

The cave, the trials, Jotunheim and now Thanos… He hadn't stopped fighting for what must have been days. Even if he took a potion he wouldn't reach his peek again.

_You would come to us_

Ydor's voice filled his ears. He looked at Natasha and he knew she could hear his thoughts.

"No, Loki, it is too dangerous. You know what they will ask in exchange." She said. Stark was at the back cursing under his breath as the monstrous armada covered the whole battlefield.

"My sweet and deathly spider…" Loki said playing with a lock of her hair. His other hand went to her stomach and he kissed her. "It was all meant to be; nothing bad will happen, trust me or rather trust my silver tongue." He said smirking. Natasha looked at him like he had just suggested something naughty.

"What do you want us to do?" she asked changing in full Black Widow mode. That was his spider.

"I need someplace safe where I can lie down." He said and she arched an eyebrow at him. Loki tried to laugh but he found himself struggling to breathe again. He used her shoulder to stabilize himself and proceeded.

"I need to project myself and I can't do that standing up." He explained.

"Guys, I know love is stronger than war but we are in the middle of one and…"

"Shut up and help me take him somewhere safe." Natasha said. Tony looked at them weird but he closed his mask and grabbed the Asgardian with one hand and Natasha with the other. He took off and landed near a cave he had spotted earlier trying to keep Natasha safe. He put the young prince down and returned to the opening to guard them.

"It will look like I am sleeping. When I wake up ask me something that only I would know. Malekith will either seek for me or head for the palace. If you see that blond buffoon flying there wake me up even if it means using one of Stark's blasters." Loki said and heard Tony replying through his teeth.

"I love you." Natasha said before he closed his eyes.

* * *

_He was cold. It was very strange because he was never cold. He was a Frost Giant after all. He looked around seeing nothing but the never ending blue of the Casket._

"_Loki Laufeyson" Ydor said. The young prince turned around and saw a young woman with pale skin and long black hair walking towards him._

"_Ydor, you look better than the last time I saw you." Loki said. The water spirit chuckled and stopped just inches from the Asgardian prince._

"_It is not very wise to mock the ones you ask for help." She replied. Loki smirked and crossed his hands._

"_I am not the God of Wisdom now, am I?" he said and the spirit chuckled again. She approached him and walked around him in small circles. _

"_You have become a strong, intelligent and wicked man. I am glad to see that our gifts did not go to waste." She said tracing his shoulders with one long pale finger. _

"_Then you should know I am not one to fall for selfless generosity. There is always a reason for what we do, especially when one is trapped." The prince said giving her a fake smile._

"_What is your reason for coming here?" another voice asked him. This one was deeper and stronger. Ydor took a few steps backwards and let her sister Gaia appear on her side. The Earth Spirit was a dark woman with big brown eyes and rich robes. _

"_To fulfill my destiny I suppose, the reason you chose me." He said eyeing them carefully. The two spirits smirked as their brothers made their appearance. They had the form of three men; a young one with flame red hair dressed in leather, another one with light clothes and an old man made of ice. _

"_Your ancestor tricked us into the Casket; it is only fair that you shall free us." The old man said. _

"_I have no problem to do that; it is known I have no respect for the rules but I was promised something in exchange." The Asgardian prince said placing a kind smile on his face; one he kept for his father's allies. _

"_Our power combined is what our sister has offered you." Pyr said. Loki looked at the red head man surprised. He hadn't been expecting such an answer. _

"_That sounds like a good deal but a little bit short term, do you think not?" the Asgardian said. _

"_It has been foreseen; you are to win this war with earth and fire and water and ice and the wind will spread the ashes to the corners of the universe." Gaia said._

"_I thought the universe had no corners" Loki said and immediately felt a cold breeze brush his back. _

"_You are putting your life's life in danger." The Wind spirit said. Loki got serious at that. He knew what he meant. With every passing second Natasha's life was put in danger. He had to be quick and thorough. _

"_I apologize, it is in my nature you see." The prince said. The five Element Spirits looked at him. They looked so serious and mighty. Hard to believe they had been tricked into the Casket by a simple Jotun. _

"_I had told you that you would come and you came; our offer still stands." Ydor said. _

"_We will give you the power to defeat the darkness if you give us back our freedom." Gaia added._

"_Be careful though Jotun, do not try to trick us like your ancestor did for the consequences will be deathly for you." Pageton, the spirit of ice warned him. Loki seemed to think their words thoroughly before he nodded._

"_I do not seem to have a different choice. Malekith needs to be brought down and I am the only one who can do it. It was mindless of me to waste my energy like that but I guess I would have never been able to kill him even if I was at my best." The prince replied walking up and down. _

"_Do you vow in the holly waters of Valhalla that you will set us free after you victory over Malekith using our power and that you will never demand anything else or try to capture us or trick us in any kind of bounding?" Ydor said giving him her hand. The rest of the elements did the same waiting for him to agree. Loki hesitated for a moment letting his hand ghost over theirs._

"_I am bound to this vow until death claims me." The young prince said and let his hand fall on top of theirs. In an instant he felt a sear pain on his temple. He was certain that it was the same pain he had felt the night they had shot him. He felt his energy coming back. He felt his powers exploding like everything that had been hidden inside him were suddenly waking up. It hurt like hell but it was nothing like he had ever felt before…_

* * *

"Damn it, Reindeer Games!" Tony yelled bringing his hand down. Natasha ran passed him and kneeled next to her lover. They had seen Thor flying towards the palace. That had meant trouble. They had tried to wake Loki up with no success when Stark had decided to go with the prince's wish and just blast him off. The dark haired man had started to stir the moment Tony had charged the blaster.

"Loki? Are you ok?" Natasha asked him trying to decide of the Asgardian was indeed opening his eyes or if he was just dreaming.

"Uhm… Natasha" he said in a hoarse voice opening his eyes. The Black Widow jumped on his chest and locked his head and hands with her legs.

"Wow, Nat, please, kinky stuff after the battle, I can even participate if you want." Tony said but the Russian didn't answer him. She was focused on her lover. His skin was battling between white and blue reminding her of the time in Stark's nursery. His eyes had trouble focusing and he seemed to be in slight pain.

"Loki, Loki, look at me!" she said grabbing his face in her hands to help him focus his gaze on her. He was in clear discomfort but he managed to look at her. His eyes were red but his pupils had remained sea green making them really scary.

"Loki, tell me, that night in Finland what did you tell me before you left?" she asked him. The prince seemed to struggle with the memory but it had an obvious calming effect as his form settled into the Asgardian God that they knew.

"Nothing" he answered. "I told you nothing; I just finished the job and left, not once saying a word." He added. Natasha seemed to relax and smiled down at him.

"You are a pig sometimes." Se said and got up. Loki followed her cleaning himself up.

"You look better" Stark said.

"Better than you can even imagine." Loki said.

"Good, because your brother went that way." The Ironman said. Loki became serious suddenly and looked towards the palace.

"Remember one thing, no matter what happens, don't try to stop me." He said and was vanished before either of them could say a word. Natasha looked at the empty spot mad and turned towards Tony.

"Let's got to the battlefield." She said. Tony opened his mask to give her a look of disapproval.

"Do you really think I would do that to a pregnant woman?" he said.

"Do you remember what I did to you that time you were too consumed in your grief?" she asked him crossing her hands. She was dead serious.

"What about your love bird over there? Don't you want to chase after him?" he asked her but she had her mind set; besides Loki wouldn't end it in the palace. He would do it in the open where everyone would see him. He had said so himself; no matter what happens they should not stop him. They would be present.

Iron man embraced her and the two of them took flight towards the battlefield.

Loki followed the sounds of battle inside the golden corridors. There was no doubt his brother had fallen for whatever trick Malekith had prepared and was now in one of the rooms fighting an apparition of him. Sure enough he saw a flash of red and silver passing through the walls in front of him. The dark haired prince sighed and looked on his right seeing the said apparition approaching. It took only a flick of his wrist for the apparition to disappear.

"Brother… how did you..? It was only a projection, wasn't it?" Thor said. Loki nodded and tried to spot the real master of darkness.

"I really need to not fall for it." the blond said making Loki smirk.

"I have been telling you for centuries." Loki said. He tried focusing on Malekith's energy but the elf had masked it well.

_In the vault_

A voice in his head whispered and an angry roar assured him. The young prince smirked and let some of his energy unmasked to attract him.

"What is you have done, brother?" Thor asked him.

"Played my cards right. I need you to take this and return to the battlefield." Loki told him and handed him a piece of his chest plate. Even though Thor had not been graced with magic he could feel his brother's energy coming out of it. The blond nodded and spun Mjolnir to take flight. Loki smirked and vanished into thin air, literary. He became one with the wind and felt the Dark Elf searching for the little part of energy he had given his brother. He had to reposition the gems before he could face Malekith.

Thor landed in the battlefield tossing the piece of Loki's chest plate away. If Malekith was after that thing he could buy himself some time. He looked around spotting the Avengers fighting against the elves by the side of the Warriors three. They made a good team. They could easily win the physical battle but the magical… He could see his father had problems in the first line. The warriors of Vanaheim were trying to help as many Asgardians as possible but the numbers were impossible.

"Thor, mind if you help?" Sif asked him out of nowhere and the blond gave her a boyish smile before his tossed his hammer against a hundred elves.

"They got us by magic" Lady Sif said.

"So we thought, I hope Loki has something up his sleeve." Thor said keeping the lady's back.

"Loki is here? But …"

"It is a long story, Sif, one to be said after the war but my brother is here to help." Thor said feeling the power of a spell on his back; luckily the damage was a minimum and the Mjolnir sent the offender to his grave.

"Let's hope he has a good plan this time" Sif

"Oh, he has that look on his face." Thor said bending just in time to avoid the captain's flying shield. Steve apologized and went back to fighting by Hogan's side.

Suddenly a light beam went through the crowd hitting on something that wasn't there yet.

Malekith appeared in smoking armor. He crushed the little piece of metal Thor had thrown away and looked through the battlefield at his offender.

"No more games, All- Father, the end is near and you know it." The Dark Elf said. Odin approached the clearing standing near his son.

"I agree; the end is near but not mine." The golden king said. Malekith's mouth twisted in a weird smirk. His green eye glanced on the side spotting Natasha and Clint arriving. Slowly the whole elite were there except for the man he had been meaning to find.

Loki

"You were not so comfortable with your adopted son's faith the last time we met. Where is he now? After all he did to bring me here he lets you and his weak friends face me. That is very brave." Malekith said and raised a finger to stop a blast by Iron man. Thor sent Mjolnir but the powerful hammer was dismissed with no real effort by the elf. The hammer went back to his master while Tony tried another shot and Volstag charged against the enemy.

Natasha raised her head towards the sky and noticed the flying machines doing recognition flights over the battlefield.

"We are about to be attacked by air." She told Clint. The blond archer looked at the sky nodding.

"What do you suggest we do?" he asked her smirking guessing her answer.

"How about we discover some of this alien technology?" she said and they smiled at each other.

"There is no way we can bit him without magic." They heard Sif saying.

"There is still a battle going on and all of our best forces are gathered here." Natasha said. The dark hair warrior looked at the spy and then back at the battle.

"I agree; normally I wouldn't take orders from mortals but I suppose you already have a plan." Sif said and Natasha nodded. Looking back at the battle they saw Odin attacking Malekith successfully. Sif called the Warriors Three and they headed towards the Jotuns.

"Your warriors have already given up hope." Malekith said attacking the All Father. Thor threw the Mjolnir to protect his father and tried to hit the elf. One gesture was enough to send him hundreds of miles away. The Crowned Prince looked up and saw his comrades heading for the Jotuns. It was only his father and Malekith now. He looked around and realized that they were losing the battle. The flying machines would end it all. Thor started spinning Mjolnir calling on the clouds.

"Oh no, Thor is going to take down the enemy ships with his thunders." Sif said.

"I can't see what is wrong with that?" Volstag said.

"It is when you can use them to attack the enemy." Tony said appearing from nowhere and then flying off again. Natasha thought for a moment looking around.

"I need to go and lead the Jotuns. We will distract them so Stark and Thor can get inside the ships. You should go and guard our backs." Natasha said. The Warriors Three looked at the red head confused.

"How exactly do you intend on leading those savages?" Sif asked her. Natasha smiled and felt her child shifting as her marital marks appeared.

"Because I am the queen of the said savages who help protect your world." She said and left along with Clint leaving the Asgardians dumb founded. The ex-spy and her partner called Hemlock who picked them up to protect them by the Frost Giants.

"So, he made you queen" the ex – king said.

"For now" the red head answered. "We don't have much time; we need some of you to distract those ships up in the sky." She added.

"They are going to shoot us down." Clint said getting a bloody glare by the Jotun. The Frost Giant yelled some names and orders in his language and ten blue skin giants got on their side. More than one hundred jumped away positioning themselves all around the battlefield. As if in sync the Jotuns sent ice daggers at the ships.

"Are we not allowed to bring them down?" Hemlock asked Natasha as a glacier hit one of the ships doing remarkable damage.

"We can do with one or two." She replied and the ex King yelled excited in his language. The message went all across the battlefield as the intense of the attack increased. One after the other the ships started getting out of course. Clint spotted Stark hovering among them carrying Thor in his hands. Hawkeye got his bow and scanned the field for any ground shooters that might jeopardize the mission. The two Avengers managed to get inside the ship and catch the elves in their sleep.

"Any idea how this thing works?" Tony asked Thor.

"You claim to be a genius, Stark." Thor said.

"Ok, I just asked to save us some time." Tony said and got wired with the main system of the ship.

"Oh, oh, uhm, if I remember correctly you have previously said that you have not an ounce of magic inside you, is that correct?" Stark said looking worried.

"No I was not graced with such power." Thor said looking anxiously at the field. They needed to take control of it or else something really bad could happen.

"Great, because this things seems to be controlled by magic; any ideas where your brother is?" Tony said.

"My son is currently busy." A voice came from behind their backs. The two Avengers turned around and saw Frigga, the queen of Asgard standing there with her crown on her head looking really intimidating. The queen walked past them and took control of the ship.

"I should tell you to leave but I am glad you showed up, Mother" Thor said.

"A pleasure to see you, your Majesty." Tony added.

"I was hopping to meet you again under different circumstances, Mr. Stark. How is that lovely daughter of yours?" she asked him steering the ship.

"Safe for now." Tony answered.

"Well, let's make sure it stays that way, shall we?" the Queen said and fired against the fellow ships of the Elves. Both Tony and Thor were surprised by her aggressive side.

"No offence, but your mother is a badass" Tony said gaining a glare by Thor. The blond prince looked out the window noticing that the first class elves were charging against the Jotuns and their first row of defense gaining ground.

"Stark you should stay here with my mother in case something happens; I'll go help strengthen the defense along with the Jotuns hoping Loki will decide to appear." Thor said walking to the exit.

"Uhm, actually, I think that your brother might be behind that huge wave of snowstorm heading towards the battlefield, don't you think?" Tony said making the thunder god come back. Sure enough, there was a fierce snowstorm coming towards them the likes of it Asgard had never seen. As the snowstorm settled where they had left Malekith and Odin, Thor could see the gold and green robes waving in the air.

"Is that how you intend on finishing me, Jotun?" Malekith mocked getting out of the snowstorm intact. Loki appeared on a hill and flew towards them with no real effort. His aura had not changed but Odin could see that something was different about him. His colour was pale blue and his marks were barely visible but his eyes were in their normal sea green colour he had come to love.

"We, both, had plenty of time to play around; it is time to become serious." Loki said fixing the Dark Elf with a look. The Elf Lord smirked in agreement and let his dark aura swallow him.

So much darkness

There was a sickening feeling in it.

A dark energy ball left his hand but never reached the Asgardian prince. Loki spun his spear once, never smirking, and the earth danced like a wave under their feet. Malekith tried to stabilize himself but ended up on attacking Loki to make him stop his spell. Loki stopped and simply looked at him.

Malekith was tired; He took his power from his followers and many had died that night.

Suddenly his aura increased again and he could hear several elves falling on the ground with a sear scream.

He attacked again, this time with more might than before. Loki blocked time and time again searching for the right moment to attack. He knew his usual tricks would do nothing so he just used his new tricks.

He sent a powerful wind to raise him off his feet but he managed to block it. Losing no time the Asgardian conjured a tree from the ground trapping him inside. It gave him a minute's advantage as he summoned his next attack just as Malekith was freeing himself. A cursed fire swallowed the elf just as it had done with Thanos. But Loki never saw the tiny purple beam leaving Malekith hand. He only felt it as it pierced his body.

"How very thoughtful of you to use the same attack you did with Thanos." Malekith said as he attacked him again before he could heal himself. This time it was a light beam sending the elf off his feet. Loki looked at his father as he took a few deep breaths. The wound was now gone.

"Where is your honour, All Father? Do you not let the kid fight his own battles?" Malekith said getting up.

_I could use some distraction_

A hammer and a frozen blade flew towards the Dark elf who managed to dismiss them with a small effort. Thor claimed back his hammer as Hemlock shot another blade. Before Malekith could react Odin decided to step in and charged the Elf Lord with a powerful spell.

"I should have known you were too much of a coward to face me. All of this power you have is wasted on you." He said but Odin managed to distract him.

Loki kneeled on the ground rolling down in a small ball. He had to end this now. One attack was all he had. He had planned everything. The time was now.

He gripped on the Hodnir tightly and let the drums of the universe swallow his existence. The sound of the explosive spells and the clashes of the swords were replaced by that strong and rapid melody that was the cosmos. He, once again, felt the galaxies running through him as his energy became one with the infinity. He felt every ball of dirt, every drop of water, the slight disturbance of the wind by a dying man's breath. He felt the fire burning in every star's heart and the last snowflake in a world long lost.

He was everything and everything was him.

As his eyes opened he saw the old king being pushed to the ground by the dark creature. Malekith was unguarded.

Every molecule of air turned into fire swallowing everything in a range of one hundred feet. Malekith was startled but he gained his composure back quickly. Just in time for the strong roots to capture his hands and legs. He tried to free himself again but the roots were strong and every time they fell back they charged him again with twice the might.

The air had become unbearable as the flames circled the two enemies alone. No one would see the roots trying to pierce the Elf's armor fighting off his dark magic or the hot liquid of the earth's metals as they rose into the air spinning around trying to find a way to Malekith's face.

"You think you have dark magic and you can create chaos out of it. Well, let me inform you, in case you did not know, that I am the God of Chaos and I know everything there is about it." Loki finally said feeling Malekith's energy decreasing. The roots succeeded in breaking his armor but he was still holding on well.

"I know what Chaos brings and what Chaos leaves; I know what lies beyond it, what existed before it and what will exist after it. I am going to tell you a little secret. I am chaos." Loki said finally breaking the armor off its magical guard and letting it melt under the extreme temperature of the fire Cyclone. Malekith conjured a few attacks but all of them were lost in the wind.

"I am good and I am evil; I am creation and I am destruction; I am a man and a woman, fire and water, earth and wind, black and white. I cannot be ruled, I have no rules except for one.

Balance and you have disturbed it." Loki said as the hot metal swallowed the dark elf and suddenly the fire ring became a fierce glacier frosting Malekith and his bounds into a living statue. Loki approached him with the Hodnir tight in his hand. The glacier ceased and with the corner of his eye he could see that everyone had stopped the battle and was now looking at them.

The drums in his ears became even more frantic. The time had come. The universe was now ready.

He placed the Hodnir on the roots looking deep into Malekith's miss matched eyes.

"I, Loki Laufeyson, King of Jotunheim, descendant of the Jotun and the Royal line of the realm of Light, curse you to feed these roots with your magic to become a living reminder of this battle of chaos until Ragnarok comes and I exile your body to the Sacred Cave of the White Giants, where no time or space exists, to be tortured by the fair trials until the end of the days." Loki said as a great, honey gold, light emerged from the mythical spear blinding everyone. When the light subsided Malekith was gone and in his place was a small tree with strong roots.

"He did it" He hadn't expected to listen to Volstag's voice first but the deep voice of the red head warrior filled the air. He could feel their eyes on his back. He knew they were watching him, ready to step in if anything happened.

Nothing would happen, though. He had succeeded.

He felt his energy slowly decreasing and his knees met with the ground before he could register it. The time had come for him too. He had known from the beginning how this battle would end. He had needed the elements to exile Malekith but after that they would be free and that would drain him. It would kill him.

"Loki" he felt a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice in his ear. The voice he would hear after every nightmare, every misdeed he had done in his life. The eyes looking at him were sky blue, reminding him of those eyes he would see before sleep claimed him in his childhood bed. However, they were slightly different. Those were filled with a different kind of love. He grabbed Natasha's hand tight trying to breathe. It was happening. He could feel them leaving. He could feel the structure of the nature changing. From the corner of his eye he could see everyone, old rivalries and current friends, old and new family together gathered around. If he weren't dying he would be touched by their concern.

He spotted his father standing a bit too far, behind Thor.

"I did it, Father!" Loki yelled with as much strength as he had left to make the old man listen. He would not die a failure. No, he had proved them all wrong. He had won.

"I did for you, for all of us!" he added hugging Natasha tight trying to take her smell with him in the underworld. He could feel his mother trying to heal him but it was too late. When the last would be gone, Hela would claim him.

He heard heavy steps next to him and a second hand fell on his head.

"Yes, Loki." Odin said. It was all Loki had ever wanted; to be recognized as an equal. He felt Natasha's hot tears on his neck and his child's energy stirring as he saw a great light up in the sky.

The Valkeries were coming

Death claimed him as a hero, but it still claimed him. With one final smirk he let the spear fall of his hand and heard the betrayed screams of the Elements spirits fading as the light in the sky became brighter and brighter.


	40. You will always find me

Half of a man

Chapter 40

You will always find me

The first thing he registered was the smell. There was a familiar smell of spicy cinnamon and sweet vanilla entering his nostrils. He was lying on something soft and warm bringing back memories of happy days. Memories of the numerous mornings he would wake up in a ruined white couch in a small apartment across Central park to the smell of spicy cinnamon and sweet Vanilla.

So, he must really have gone to Valhalla.

_He kicked for the first time yesterday_

It was barely audible but his ear had caught on that melancholy melody here and there.

_I think that it is too soon but your mother says that is normal for an Asgardian. She says that he probably won't carry any Jotun genes because his human ones are stronger. _

The melody had been drifting in and out for quite some time. It was getting stronger and clearer as time passed. He remembered being in a similar state before; several times actually.

What had happened?

Oh, yes, Malekith and Thanos and then the Elements had drained him off his energy. At least he had managed to trick them and keep them on their leash for a while longer.

"I am telling you, immortal pain in the neck, if this kid is half the trouble you are and you just lie here doing nothing I am going to teach him every trick I own and sent him here to beat you up every day." Suddenly the voice had become very clear and angry. It even sounded real.

"Na…" he opened his mouth but he couldn't say a word. He could barely open his eyes to see that there was light in the room. Suddenly silence fell across the room. The bed shifted, steps were heard and then something really terrible entered his mouth.

Oh, no a healing potion. He felt his strength slightly returning but he was still very weak to open his eyes.

"W…a …t…e….r…" he managed to say in a hoarse and dry voice.

He drifted back to sleep.

The next time he heard two voices in the room. One was clearly Natasha's and the other one was Thor's. They were discussing in a low voice which made it impossible for him to listen in his state. He had caught three words though

Trial, betrayal, vow

That was all he needed really. He had realized now that he was not going to die. For some twisted reason he had lived and they wanted to trial him again.

The reasons were numerous really.

Breaking free

Getting Jotuns inside the Realm

Sending aliens to Midgard

Breaking a holly vow

Even though he had saved their skins his sentence was more than certain. He could not do it again.

As soon as the door closed he tried to open his eyes. He saw a red blur standing above him and giving him another doze of that disgusting thing.

"Natasha… Natasha" he whispered. The red head next to him on the bed caressing his head.

"It is ok, you are safe, we all are thanks to you." She said. Loki felt her warmth bringing him back to life and he blinked a few times to focus on her features. She looked more beautiful than ever. She brought him another potion and a golden apple.

"Here, we couldn't force feed it to you. We just waited until you became strong enough to wake up." She said and placed the apple on his hand after he drunk the potion.

"It has been some time, I see." Loki noted in a low voice as his hand rested on her stomach. Natasha smiled and placed her hand over his. She was now three months old and already showing.

"He's already kicking" she said trying not to sound like the foolishly happy mother she was. So much had changed. She had thought that the nightmares would forever hunt her, that there would be no way to redeem herself no matter how much she tried. Loki had been right after all; same services, different boss. But here they are now, two lost cases creating something wonderful.

The prince sat up and took a bit from the golden apple. He felt some of his energy coming back.

"What happened, why I am not dead?" he asked and took another bite.

"You didn't think I would let you go away with it, did you?" Natasha teased him and brought him another apple.

"I haven't finished this yet." He said and took a really big bite of it. "I remember sending Malekith to the Jotun Cave but after that everything is a blur. I do remember seeing a light though." Loki said chew on his apple taking the next out of Natasha's hand. He would be as good as new with this one.

"You did die. Your mother started crying silently and your father looked devastated. It was actually Hemlock who saved you." She said with an even tone. Loki stopped with his apple mid way to his mouth and looked at his wife.

"Hemlock? That tall, arrogant iceberg?" Loki teased even though he knew that his half brother's feelings had changed during the battle. Loki had earned his respect for saving Jotunheim and sacrificing for the sake of the world.

"He broke the spear…"

"He did what!" Loki screamed and was out of bed in a second. He felt strong enough to brood and curse while opening wholes in the walls. Natasha got up as well keeping her neutral posture. Loki was just a child sometimes, ready to throw a tantrum for taking away his toy. It would be really good practice for when Vali would be a toddler.

"He did it to save you. He said that the spear was made to protect the king, even from death. He broke it and you were engulfed in a blue sphere. We brought you here and all sorts of people came and your father…"

"My father…" Loki interrupted her.

_I did it father; for you, for all of us._

_Yes, Loki_

Natasha let a small smile escape her and stood by the window. It had such a wonderful view. The whole City of Light was lying on their feet. Far, far away and into the grounds that had been watered by the blood of the innocent stood a tree with strong roots and multicolor leaves. Loki approached her and stood behind her hugging her with one hand while holding the golden apple in the other.

"I thought I lost you" she whispered.

"Regimes fell every day" he reminded her and she elbowed him. The young prince laughed and kissed her neck before finishing his apple.

"For one moment I saw my life going away. I saw my self going back to SHIELD denying that you ever existed while Vali would stay here to be raised a prince, not even knowing who I am or what I look like." She confessed. Loki tossed the apple away and turned her around so he could face her. He cupped her face and gave her a light kiss on the lips. It wasn't a kiss of passion just one of affirmation. He was there and he was alive.

"You became sentimental after all." He whispered and earned a smack on his shoulder. The couple resumed its previous position watching the city and the small tree.

"Why did you do it? Why didn't you kill him?" she asked him.

"Death is easy and quick and may I say not permanent for a powerful warlock such as Malekith. I had to make sure he would never see the light of day again and let all know what fate awaits them if they try and do something similar again." Loki said. Natasha nodded.

"What happened with the Elements? That was the reason you died, wasn't it?" she asked him trying to understand what had happened. One moment he had been standing there, all mighty and powerful and the next he had been dying on the ground.

"You know what the deal was; help me and I let them go. I could not do that, it would disturb the balance and everything would be for not. I did a very good thing by putting away Malekith and so I had to do one very bad thing to keep the balance."

"So you tricked them?" Natasha said not at all surprised. If anything Loki could trick the devil himself.

"I vowed to keep my promise until death claimed me. I knew that with everything that I had done and was about to do, their energy was what was keeping me alive. Once they left I would die and the deal would be off. No harm made." He said and felt Natasha stiffen. He knew she understood of sacrifices, she was a true soldier but that did not mean she liked them.

"Thor came to see me a yesterday. He said that the council asks for your trial again." She said now being just a little bit angry.

"Let me guess, I am accused of breaking away, stepping my oath, bringing the Jotuns in Asgard…"

"Just for the first two; Jotunheim and Asgard have formed an alliance. They even exchanged gifts." Natasha said surprising Loki. He had done after all, just like Odin had foreseen.

"What kind of gifts?" he asked and Natasha got away from him now looking really angry.

"What do you care? You just came back from the dead and now they want to put you back in prison leaving me and our child alone." She said sounding nothing like the composed Black Widow. Loki sighed and tried to reach her.

"I know, I have suspected it that things would be that way. I knew I wouldn't be able to live in Asgard anymore, no matter what I would do. People here have difficulty in letting things go." He said but Natasha did not let him near her. She just stood there with her arms crossed glaring at him.

"So, what do you intend to do?" she asked him.

"I will return to Midgard, to my uncle Borr and the small house in the woods." He said.

"Do you really believe you will be able to live in the middle of nowhere doing nothing?" she asked him. Loki smirked and invaded her personal space.

"I did not say I would stay there. If the trial starts and I am found guilty there will be people after me. You know the feeling right?" he said but she didn't answer. She really knew the feeling.

"I will just use my talents to hide until things are over. The hut in the woods would be our meeting point." He said. So he didn't intent on including her to his plans.

"You do know I carry a baby in here, right?" she said.

"You will have to stay here. These people will take better care of you than anyone in the world." He said.

"That is a nice way of you telling me that you are leaving me and run away from your responsibilities." Natasha said looking way too serious.

"I would not dream of doing such thing and getting away with it. I know that no matter where I go or where I hide you will always find me." He said and kissed her, this time passionately.

Oh, she would definitely find him.

* * *

The Hall was more than full. There were people, particularly girls screaming. In the backstage chaos prevailed. That is how she knew where to find him.

No one noticed the red head in a pencil skirt and jacket walking down the corridor. She could be the production's or the advertiser's. She was holding a briefcase and had an air of authority and money.

A manager maybe

No one stopped her as she reached the stage and the man who was ready to step on it.

"Mr. Hiddleston" she said in an English accent.

The man in question, dressed in his role costume of green and gold turned around smiling widely at her sight. Ignoring the yells of the director and his manager he stepped back to talk to the beautiful lady.

"My, my, you look really magnificent in this outfit, Ms. Rushman. You remind me of the old days." He said smiling but the woman would have none of that.

"Spear me, Tom. I am here on business." She said eyeing him over her glasses. She looked really sexy in those big, black glasses.

"Your father…"

"My father?" he asked.

"Your father sent me to tell you that your Mask has been discovered and is spreading Chaos all over Chicago City." She said. At the mention of the Mask Loki grinned like a fool. Oh, those were the days.

"Care to share your secret with me?" she said crossing her arms.

"Hehe, wild adolescence." He said and laughed even harder at her arched brow.

"Is that all you came for?" he asked her. She eyed him and let a naughty smirk escape her.

"I am to watch you until you settle this mess, so after you finish with your little escapade, me and junior agent Vali will be waiting for you." She said.

"Tell me you did not buy him a junior SHIELD uniform." Loki said.

"No, but Coulson did and Clint bought him a small bow so you'd better watch your head when you arrive." She said and turned around.

"Do you have time for dinner afterwards?" he asked her.

"If you don't let any of those girls touch you I may even let you buy me a drink afterwards." She said.

"Jealous, Ms. Rushman?" he asked her smirking but got pulled back by the director to go on with the show.

"Humanity, look how far you've fallen." His voice was low and deep. Natasha stopped on her tracks smirking and decided to just turn around and enjoy the show.

"Lying up in the sweltering heat for hours… hurdling together in the dark… like beasts!" he said and the lights were turned on and havoc spread among the crowd.

Yes, Natasha knew what that villainous form could do. She couldn't really blame all those girls except for the fact that were hitting on her husband who had grabbed the opportunity and become an adorned actor.

How was he hiding under the lights of the reporters, really?

She looked back in the stage and saw him silence the crowd with only his finger.

He was really sexy when he did that.

"I am Loki…" cheers

"of Asgard…" cheers

"and I am burdened with glorious purpose." Cheers.

"Yes, to drive me crazy." Natasha mumbled and left the backstage not once submitting to the fun girl inside her. She would just wait for him to come home and then he would be all hers.

The real Prince of Asgard.

Her Loki

* * *

**I just couldn't resist the urge to write about Comic Con 2013. He was really magnificent. **

**Ends always leave me with a bittersweet taste. I know I have promised you those M scenes and I will have them as soon as possibly. **

**Thank you for keeping me company along this journey. I am waiting your reviews to let me know what you think now that it is officially over.**

**Until next time... Allons-y! **


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